What impact does lagging in the development of adaptive abilities have on young children?

Dongzi: Children with strong adaptability will develop well in the future.

Fan Jiangguoyi: If I can adapt, I’m not afraid of traveling around.

Dad Dongzi——

Adaptation is the basis of survival.

Adaptability is people's ability to establish harmonious relationships between individuals, others and the environment. You will encounter the problem of adaptation at any time in life. If you adapt quickly, you can study, live, and work well. If you are slow to adapt, it is likely to cause adaptation problems, which will put people under pressure and confusion, affecting normal study, life, and work.

The first time Dongzi heard the word "adaptation" was 26 years ago. When I first joined the army, I was very uncomfortable adapting to the life in the military camp. The instructor said to us new recruits with sincerity: It is normal for a person to not adapt to a new environment for a short period of time. As long as we work hard to adapt to the environment, everything will get better.

Since then, I have faced situations in which I was not adaptable many times, but as my adaptability has gradually increased, I have adapted quickly. As soon as I took off my military uniform and returned to my hometown, I couldn't adapt to the hometown where I was born and raised. Later, I traveled to Hainan, the northwest, and even returned to my hometown again. Every time I faced a new environment, the one word I told myself the most was "adapt." From this, I gradually realized the truth: a person has to change many environments and jobs in his life, so the ability to adapt to the environment is very important. A person's adaptability is directly proportional to his living space. The stronger the adaptability, the larger the living space, and vice versa.

According to the "City Express" report on August 30, 2008, a 19-year-old freshman boy from Taiyuan City, Shanxi Province, who had just arrived in Tianjin, was shopping in a mall because he wanted to give away his The parents were lost and sat crying. After the police helped contact his parents, the boy's mother told the police that she had not allowed her son to go out on his own since he was a child, so the child became confused whenever he went to a strange place.

Aren't children like this, let alone going to college, even getting a PhD, a waste?

Today's and future society is full of competition, survival of the fittest, and survival of the fittest.

Children will eventually leave their families and go to study, work, and live in unfamiliar places, so parents must restrain themselves and cultivate their children's adaptability as early as possible. When children go to a strange place and are far away from their original relatives, friends, and classmates, they feel isolated and lonely. Then, to quickly integrate into a strange place, they must rely on the children to interact with people and establish good interpersonal relationships.

If we enter a new environment, our children must learn some ways to adapt to the new environment. Therefore, it is very important to teach children to adjust their mentality and face the new environment with an open mind. important.

When my daughter Yiyi was in elementary school, she once had the experience of going to the countryside to study. Yiyi transferred from an elementary school in the provincial capital to a rural elementary school. Regarding her school life during this period, her daughter wrote in her "Playing in Elementary School":

From birth to now, I have lived with my parents in four provinces in the north and south. This kind of life experience has trained me. Of course, I may be born with it. Coupled with the conscious cultivation of my parents, I have strong adaptability.

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But when I followed my mother from Changchun, Jilin, and "migrated" again, I came to my mother's hometown, Jiaodong Peninsula, and in this small village called Huangchengji, When I started my one-year study and life, I suddenly faced too many discomforts. My father summed up four points for me: from provincial cities to rural areas, the living environments in urban and rural areas are very different; from Jilin to Shandong, different living habits and eating habits in different regions; from 63 schools to 54 schools, different versions of textbooks , different learning progress; and different language environments.

With strong adaptability, the first three items did not bring much inconvenience to my life. But this last item - language, really troubles me. Being in a small village, everyone around me, from teachers to classmates to passers-by, all spoke a dialect. When I first came here, I didn’t understand what the teacher was saying in class. Even when I played games with my classmates after class, they spoke word by word. Even though he was talking to me, I had difficulty listening.

For a while, I always kept a small notebook at hand when I was in class. It was full of dialects spoken by the teacher that I couldn’t understand. There were so many words that I didn’t even know which ones they were, so Most of the writing is in Pinyin. When you get home, ask your mother to pronounce it phonetically and analyze what it means...

There are not many children like Yiyi who can adapt to the new environment quickly. This is mainly due to I cultivate her adaptability.

This reminds me of something that happened when Yiyi was 4 years old. At that time, she had a nanny to accompany her at home. She got along very well with the nanny sister. One day a month later, the nanny had to go back to her hometown (away from Changchun) for something. More than 100 kilometers) for two days, she asked me if she could take Yiyi back with me. I asked her to ask Yiyi. Yiyi was very happy when she heard that her sister was taking her to her hometown in the countryside, so they set off that afternoon. The next day I called to ask about Yiyi. The sister-in-law (the babysitter’s mother) said: “Yiyi played with them for a long time before going to bed last night. Now she went out to play with the neighbor’s children. This child is so easy-going. She doesn’t have the squeamishness of city kids at all.”

So Yiyi’s adaptability is not acquired only after going to school, but is the result of being cultivated since childhood.

The cultivation of adaptability will accompany children throughout their lives. It cannot be improved by shouting slogans, nor can it be mastered by learning a hobby and participating in a few training camps. It relies on accumulation bit by bit, including the subtle influence among family members. Parents' education methods, children's personality, habits, etc. will all affect their ability to adapt. It sounds like a complicated "project", but it's not difficult to do, it just depends on your hard work.

If you want to spend every period of your life happily, you must learn to adapt. Children who are adaptable have better prospects in the future.

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Daughter Fan Jiangguoyi————

Speaking of adaptation, that’s a lot to say. Because my father has been living a sojourn life these years, his residence would change frequently. So when I was very young, I followed my father "running around" and moving around. Once you move, the school will change, and the teachers and classmates will be different. This is a very depressing thing.

Every time you change schools, you are actually changing not only the school, but also a series of things that are different from the previous school, such as teachers, classmates, cities, textbooks and environment, etc., you need to adapt to. After changing teachers and classmates, first of all, you need to adapt to the teacher's teaching style so that you can listen to the class well. Secondly, you need to adapt to the personality of your classmates so that you can have more friends. The most basic thing is to remember their names first. This is also the most important thing. This is a headache for me, because if I can’t remember their names, it will be difficult to communicate with my classmates. In short, after changing to a school, there are really a lot of things that need to be adapted. People with poor adaptability are likely to become autistic and keep their heads down, but I am just the opposite...

When the first year of junior high school is about to start, My father and I moved from Yantai to Dalian. Since we changed schools across provinces, the textbook versions were very different, and even the academic systems were different: Yantai was the "May 4th System", while Dalian was the "June 3rd System"! The huge gap did not bother me. I was naturally good at making friends and quickly got to know several classmates. Some of them were good at mathematics and some were good at Chinese, so I found many "teachers" to help me with tutoring and textbooks. Different problems are solved in this way.

On the first day of school, after a day of study, I not only met many good friends, but also brought a classmate named Yin Yan home after school. Because I heard that the school was going to hold an art festival and wanted to sign up for it. Yin Yan wanted to cooperate with me. We discussed that she would sing a song solo and I would accompany her with the electronic keyboard, so I took her home. My father was surprised: “I made friends on the first day, that’s amazing!”

When I was in the second grade of junior high school, my family moved from Dalian to Shenyang. Because Dalian and Shenyang are in the same province, the gap between the textbooks is not too big, but remembering the names of my classmates gives me a headache. The whole class only needs to remember my name, and I have to remember the names of the whole class. It's really How depressing! Fortunately, my memory is relatively good. It didn't take long to memorize the names of all the classmates in the class.

On the third day of junior high school, I followed my father all the way north again and returned to the city where I live now—Changchun. Since I have lived in Changchun for several years before, there is nothing unfamiliar about the environment. I just need to adapt to the teachers, classmates, and textbooks.

The classmates in Changchun were very enthusiastic and gathered around me asking questions. Soon I became familiar with them. Later I found out that one of my classmates also had a fellow villager - Liu Guichao. Her hometown was in the neighboring village of my grandma's house in the countryside. , I was very excited to meet a fellow villager. We hugged each other tightly and made an appointment to go home together during the Chinese New Year!

This is the sweet fruit that my adaptability has brought me: good friends, good grades and wonderful memories...