How is personality formed?

Conceptually, a person's childhood experience determines his adult character. It is said that "character determines fate." The so-called "personality" means that you are different from most people and can't control your psychological mechanism. We call it the invisible hand. This is an intrinsic part of personality.

What about the external part of personality? It's just some personality traits that people show.

I don't know if you have found a phenomenon. People with distinctive personalities in TV dramas are very popular, and some people can get a lot of attention even if they are not the protagonists. For example, Li Yunlong, who is fierce and honest in Liang Jian, Qi Tongwei, who changed his fate and won the battle in in the name of people, and Qu Xiaoyu, who is eccentric in Ode to Joy.

In real life, we meet people with different personalities every day, some are enthusiastic and some are indifferent; Some are sentimental, some are optimistic and cheerful ... As we all know, there are no two identical leaves in the world, and similarly, there are no two people with identical personalities in the world.

So how did such a complicated personality come into being? Why do people have different personalities?

Personality psychology summarizes three important factors that affect the formation of personality:

1

Predestined factor

The first factor is congenital factor.

Some people say that the innate factors of personality are influenced by some genetic genes, some people believe some religious statements, such as "karma", and some people say it more mysteriously, thinking that innate personality is influenced by the soul.

No matter which statement is reliable, at least one thing is that people's personalities, including temperament, are inherently different.

Many babies who are a few months old show completely different behaviors at birth. Some babies are naturally quiet, while others are naturally active. Even twins are very different.

There are a pair of synchronized swimming world champions, Jiang Wenwen and Jiang Tingting. They are twin sisters. Sister Jiang Wenwen described her sister Jiang Tingting as "sometimes as strong as a little tiger", but in her eyes, she is like a big snail.

In the United States, psychologists have done an experiment of tracking dozens of pairs of twins for a long time and found that most of them have very different personalities when they grow up.

Therefore, in the case of very similar growth environment, people's personalities are still very different. What does this mean? Explain that people are born different!

Therefore, this is the first reason for the formation of personality, congenital factors.

However, if you ask the congenital factors, which sequence of genes, whether the inheritance comes from the father or the mother, or because of prenatal education, there is no conclusion in the scientific and psychological circles at present.

The only thing we can do is that personality must be influenced by innate factors.

2

Childhood surroundings

The second point, that is, the second factor that forms personality, is the childhood environment.

The influence of childhood on character formation has two important time nodes: one is about 3 years old, and the other is 6-7 years old. As the saying goes, "3 years old looks down on small, 7 years old looks down on old", which makes sense.

Research shows that before the age of 7, it is a critical period for the formation of a child's personality, and the most important thing is when the child is 0-3 years old.

A person will absorb what he experienced before he was 3 years old like a sponge. What kind of people children follow and what kind of education they receive at this stage will form corresponding personalities.

Childhood environment includes: family environment, times background, regional background, educational background, etc. Family environment is the most important aspect that childhood environment affects personality. In addition to the family environment, it also includes other factors such as the background of the times, geographical background and educational background.

home environment

Wu Jun, the first president of the Japanese Personality Psychology Society, found through sorting out the survey results of many researchers that:

Children raised by strong parents are more obedient and dependent;

Children's parents interfere excessively, raising children to be naive and neurotic;

Parents who dote on their children and raise any sexually naive children;

Parents who like to deny and criticize raise cold children and like to express themselves;

Parents who don't care about their children's growth raise children who are aggressive and emotionally unstable.

Time background

For example, we often talk about the personality of the post-80 s and post-90 s, which is not caused by any family, but by the background of the whole era.

Because most of the post-80s generation are only children, without brothers and sisters, they can enjoy their parents' love. They received too much love in childhood, and it is not uncommon for generations to pay attention to a child. Therefore, the post-80s generation is called "the beat generation" and "the generation of personal heroes", and their personal heroism far exceeds that of the post-70s generation.

Why do post-70s pay more attention to groups and advocate tolerance and dedication? Because most people born in the 1970s have brothers and sisters, the story they read when they were young was "Kong Rong gave way to pears" and the education they received was "Brothers and sisters gave way to younger brothers and sisters". Even if the post-80s make way for pears, no one will!

Looking at the post-90s generation, their personalities are more interesting, more casual and more free, because most of the post-90s generation are only children, and quite a few of their parents go out to work and are busy with their careers, so they have no time to accompany their children at all. The elderly will only spoil their children, so children who grow up in this environment naturally have more casual freedom.

Moreover, compared with the post-80s and post-90s, the material conditions are much richer, so the post-90s are less eager for success, and happiness is more important to them. This is the background of the times.

Regional environment

In addition, the geographical environment will also affect people's personality.

For example, people from Northeast China and Chengdu are both from China, but their personalities are obviously different. The education that Northeasters have received since childhood is "hurry up" and "don't ink", which is simple, rude and direct; Chengdu people's lifestyle is to drink tea and play cards, and their life is comfortable and slow.

Therefore, the northeast people's character is "fierce", and the Chengdu people's character is gentle. This is the influence of regional environment on people's character.

educational environment

Childhood environment also includes educational environment. Your education at school and the influence of your classmates, even if you are in a fast class or a slow class, will also affect your character.

Compared with slow classes, children in fast classes are more likely to be stimulated to be competitive; But there are also children in fast classes who can't keep up with their studies, and his character will do the opposite. Because of the fierce competition in the class, he was not recognized and his competitiveness was not satisfied. He will become silent and feel inferior.

Therefore, the above factors, including family environment, background of the times, regional background and school education, are collectively called childhood environment, which is the second largest factor in forming a person's personality.

summary

We just talked about the first major factor in forming personality, congenital factors; The second factor is the childhood environment. Maybe you will ask, is it congenital factors or childhood environment that have a great influence on personality?

In fact, psychologists haven't reached an agreement yet, I can only tell you:

I don't know which has the greater influence, but you can't change the innate factors and the childhood environment can't change you;

But if your child is still in childhood, the childhood environment you created for him can be changed.

Many parents attach importance to their children's academic performance, physical development and habit formation, but ignore the shaping of character. This is putting the cart before the horse!

If you have listened to our other class "Character Determines Fate", you will know how important it is to shape a child's character! If you want to know more about shaping children's character, you can learn about special parenting education books or courses, and combine what we said in personality psychology, you should be able to find the answer you want step by step.

Next, let's talk about the third factor that forms personality.

three

The encounter between life.

Life experience is that you meet some important people and things that have an impact on your character after you gradually become an independent adult.

For example, sudden success or failure, love or marriage experience, or experience in a specific industry or position. It may make people completely different.

For example, Qi Tongwei in in the name of people, which we talked about at the beginning of this class, was a typical enterprising person when he was the captain of the anti-drug team. He was shot three times, made great contributions and became a hero.

But there is still no chance of promotion, and it is impossible to reunite with the person you love. As a result, Qi Tongwei's original three views were completely shattered. In order to rewrite his destiny, he knelt down and proposed to a teacher ten years older than himself, just because the teacher's father had power and influence, and if he married her, he would be promoted and made a fortune.

Qi Tongwei, a high-spirited teenager, was completely killed as soon as he knelt down. He knelt down and became the director of the public security department who was skillful in calculation, surrendered to power and did whatever it took to achieve his goal, and finally ended up shooting himself. This is the influence of life experience on a person.

four

summary

To sum up, today we talked about three factors that form personality: first, congenital factors; Second, the childhood environment; Third, life experience.

As the saying goes, "a leopard cannot change his spots." Is your personality fixed and can't be changed today? In other words, which parts of personality can be changed and which parts cannot be changed?

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