Line of the skit "Money is Dad"

Sketch "Money is the Father"

Tian Wa: Oh, oh, fellow villagers, you are good! I am the manager of this property, my name is Xiao Tianer! I was very busy, I didn’t eat, and I was very hungry. Now it’s time to eat again. Oh my god, I’m wondering who I can go to for a meal! Hey! kindness? (Man Na Wen) Whose family is cooking? Oops, 307 is cooking. But let me tell you, friends, you can eat anyone’s food (read liao), but it is definitely difficult to eat their food. Do you know who this person is? He is the most notorious person in our Wulitun community, nicknamed "Money is Dad". How about I go to his house and have a meal?

(Go to the door and knock on the door) Open the door!

Wang Xiaoli: (Appearance) Oh, you said that this meal is not going to stop you (stuttering here), the old (stuttering here) keeps knocking on the door, there are so many things. Dad is at home. Who are you?

Tian Wa: Oh, I, Tian Wa,

Wang Xiaoli: Tian.

Wang Xiaoli: (reluctant to open the door)

Tian Wa: Dad (say hello)! Dad, you are at home.

Wang Xiaoli: You, you won’t say that you still... just throw that brother away, just one word can make it happen.

Tian Wa: Where is your family eating?

Wang Xiaoli: I’ve finished eating that

Tian Wa: I’ve finished eating (hesitating)... Then I’m fine, let’s take a look at your house.

Wang Xiaoli: Come and see what?

Tian Wa: Check if there is a short circuit in your home wires

Wang Xiaoli: It’s okay, the circuit is always very good!

Tian Wa: What about cable?

Wang Xiaoli: Cable has been in arrears for half a year! Why do you want to hand it over? You see, you see, if you want to pay, you should have told me earlier.

Daughter-in-law: Old Qian, who is here?

Tian Wa: Sister-in-law, I

Daughter-in-law: Tian Wa is here! Come in and talk!

Tian Wa: Sister-in-law (said to Wang Xiaoli) Hurry and hide away

Daughter-in-law: Here you go

Tian Wa: Sister-in-law!

Daughter-in-law: Have you eaten?

Tian Wa: (Said at the same time) I didn’t eat when I cooked. I’m not hungry if I didn’t eat.

Wang Xiaoli: Yes, let’s talk about you If you have cooked enough, just leave people here to eat. Why are you doing this? I see you are really...

Daughter-in-law: Then I have cooked a lot of food and it is enough

Tian Wa: I’m not hungry (holding my stomach)

Wang Xiaoli: You see, people say I’m not hungry anymore

Tian Wa: But I just look at my sister-in-law, the food must not be delicious< /p>

Daughter-in-law: It’s delicious

Wang Xiaoli: She just made it whole and it was salty or bland.

Daughter-in-law: If you don’t believe me, try it. It’s salty and light, it’s definitely delicious

Tian Wa: Then I’ll try it

Daughter-in-law: That’s okay ( Sit down) Try it

Tian Wa: It’s delicious

Wife: (Ask Tian Wa) Is it delicious?

Tian Wa: My sister-in-law still has this craftsmanship

Daughter-in-law: If it’s delicious, eat more, I’ve made it all

Tian Wa: Okay (to Wang Xiaoli ) Brother, sit here, you’ve finished eating, right?

Tian Wa: Sister-in-law, I think I am the first person to have dinner at your house

Wang Xiaoli: You are wrong. This is the first time in your life to have dinner at my house.

p>

Daughter-in-law: How can you talk like that? Eat Tian Wa

Tian Wa: There are only vegetables but no wine?

Daughter-in-law: There is wine, I will get it for you (Wang Xiaoli coughed in distress)

Tian Wa: Sister-in-law, there is no need to drink. I saw it here

< p>Daughter-in-law: OK

(Wang Xiaoli coughed hard)

Tian Wa: Brother, do you have a sore throat?

Daughter-in-law: Why are you coughing? The wine has been taken out. Can we still send it back? It’s so loud

Tian Wa: Come on, this is the first time we sit here to eat together. Can we have a drink?

(Wang Xiaoli is helpless)

Wang Xiaoli: I can’t drink now

Daughter-in-law: If he doesn’t drink, I’ll drink with you

Tian Wa: Come and see how beautiful my sister-in-law is

(The wife is happy, Wang Xiaoli is worried)

Daughter-in-law: Do it

Tian Wa: My sister-in-law "cheers" (meaning cheers) No, what do you mean? cheers (correct pronunciation)

(Two people drink together)

(Wang Xiaoli sang Happy Birthday in a sad tone, while Tian Wa and his wife made surprised expressions)

Daughter-in-law: Old Qian, do you have a fever? I also wish you a happy birthday?

Tian Wa: Are you sick?

Wang Xiaoli: I'm not as big-hearted as you two. It's my birthday today. If you two don't sing for me, I'll sing it myself

Daughter-in-law: When is your birthday? How about 5 months until your birthday?

Wang Xiaoli: The birthday you are talking about is mine

Tian Wa: My brother’s birthday on the lunar calendar may be the right one on the lunar calendar

Daughter-in-law: The birthday on the lunar calendar cannot be different by five What's the month? What's your birthday?

Wang Xiaoli: It's my birthday. If you don't know, don't tell me. Just eat it, okay, I beg you.

Daughter-in-law, Tian Wa: OK< /p>

Wang Xiaoli: Today is my birthday

(Tian Wa eats fiercely) (Wang Xiaoli feels distressed)

Wang Xiaoli: This year’s birthday is no better than last year’s. On my birthday, my friends brought me cakes, peaches, fruit gifts, and set up a big table to congratulate me

Daughter-in-law: Didn’t we spend your birthday together last year? I stewed it for you. Pot of sauerkraut.

(Wang Xiaoli’s expression of hating that iron cannot become steel)

Wang Xiaoli: What’s going on? It’s the morning when we get up. Aren’t all our friends coming to celebrate my birthday at noon? Can people come to our house empty-handed? Can you bring me some gifts or something? If you can have a big eye, a big mouth, and eat a lot, let people take a look. Don’t talk, don’t know. Stop talking

Daughter-in-law: Well, look at it. Last year was last year’s way of doing things, so this year will be this year’s way of doing things.

Wang Xiaoli: There is something missing

Tian Child: What dish is missing? It’s good. No need to fry it. Sister-in-law, no need to fry it.

Wang Xiaoli: I’m just missing a birthday cake. You think it’s better to put a birthday cake on it and say Happy Birthday to Money’s Father. You think it’s right. What an atmosphere there

Tian Wa: Brother, that’s easy. There’s a cake shop downstairs

Wang Xiaoli: Xiaotian, you’ll eat it later. You can go downstairs to get one. Let’s light some candles as if it’s normal

Tian Wa: No problem

Daughter-in-law: That’s okay

Tian Wa: I’ll go downstairs I'll get it for you

Brother, you and sister-in-law are waiting for me here. I'm going to get the cake

(Tian Wa ends up, the wife asks Wang Xiaoli to reason, Wang Xiaoli peeks to see if Tian Wa is really gone)

Daughter-in-law : Come back here (Wang Xiaoli is impatient and doesn’t know what to say) Why are you so careless?

Wang Xiaoli: Who lost the chain?

Daughter-in-law: When is your birthday, just say now is your birthday

Wang Xiaoli: It’s not that you are sharp, you are stupid, you, it’s obvious that you come to our house to eat and drink in Xiaotian. Is it our fault for drinking? You said he couldn't eat for free, so he also made a cake

(At this time Tian Wa came on the stage with the cake)

Daughter-in-law: Oops, Xiaotian is back/

< p>Tian Wa: I’m back

Daughter-in-law: It’s really fast to eat just sitting here

Tian Wa: I’m exhausted. Do you think this speed is okay?

< p>Wang Xiaoli: OK

Tian Wa: Brother, look at the ready-made cake. I said you can write "Money is Happy Birthday, Dad" to me. Hey (open the cake), how about

Wang Xiaoli: Happy birthday to the father of money

Tian Wa: Do you think it’s good?

Wang Xiaoli: Light that thing

Tian Wa: Yes Light the candles, brother, how old are you?

Wang Xiaoli: What do you mean, how old am I? I am three years old

Tian Wa: Then light three candles

Daughter-in-law: Thirty years old

Tian Wa: Order three cigarettes when she is thirty

Wang Xiaoli: Order four and a half cigarettes

Daughter-in-law: What are you doing?

Wang Xiaoli: Forty Five

(The two clapped their hands and sang happy birthday together, and Wang Xiaoli made a wish)

Daughter-in-law: It’s good to blow out the candles

Tian Wa: Blow out the candles

(Three people blow together)

Daughter-in-law Wang Xiaoli: Okay, let’s cut it

Daughter-in-law: Let’s eat

Daughter-in-law, Tian Wa: Cut the cake

Wang Xiaoli: Yes

(Wang Xiaoli and his wife smile happily) (Tian Wa cuts the cake eagerly)

Wang Xiaoli: I haven’t eaten it yet

p>

Tian Wa: Come on, brother, you have a piece first

Wang Xiaoli: Give it to her to eat first

Tian Wa: Come on, sister-in-law

Daughter-in-law: Thank you very much

Tian Wa: I told you this cake is delicious (bringing the cake to Wang Xiaoli)

Daughter-in-law (to Tian Wa): Why don’t you just use your hands?

Tian Wa: Then I’m not polite

Daughter-in-law: OK

Wang Xiaoli: Come on, eat, eat, eat

(Tian Wa eats fiercely)

Wang Xiaoli (to Tian Wa): You... take a sip, take a sip of beer

Tian Wa: I’m full

< p>Wang Xiaoli: Are you full?

Wang Xiaoli: Are you full? Once you've eaten and drank enough, go back and get to work!

Tian Wa: Okay, come to my house when you have time

Wife: Well, just take the leftover cake!

Tian Wa: That’s okay

Wang Xiaoli: (To his wife) What the hell are you talking about? Xiaotian is here to wish me a birthday. Order a cake for me. What do you want? Do you look down on others when they take it back?

Daughter-in-law: No one will eat it if you are not in our house

Wang Xiaoli: The child will come back later to eat it

Tian Wa: Yes, I will leave it for your nephew. Come on! I left my sister-in-law, but she was still on the phone, anxious!

Daughter-in-law: OK

Wang Xiaoli: Come on (pre-continue eating)

Tian Wa: Brother, I forgot to tell you something, you will be downstairs in a while I'll pay for the cake.

Wang Xiaoli: What are you talking about? Cake money? Come here, come here! I didn’t catch it. What the hell is cake money?

Tian Wa: Didn’t I just go down and pick up a cake for you? Didn’t you tell me? Xiaotian, you told me to pick up a cake from the cake shop downstairs. After that, I went down and I Take it, come back and I'll tell you to go up and get the money in a while!

Wang Xiaoli: It’s my birthday. You came to wish me a birthday and ordered a cake for me. How can you still let me spend money?

Tian Wa: No, isn’t it your birthday? You asked me to order it...

Wang Xiaoli: It’s my birthday. You ordered a cake for me. You come Congratulate me on my happy birthday, how can you still

Let me spend money?

Tian Wa: No, sister-in-law, do you understand? I’m going to order the cake. He asked me to order it. Then I’ll just take a bite and then I’ll leave!

Daughter-in-law: What, I understand, Xiaotian, you go home! Sister-in-law, go give me this money

Wang Xiaoli: You don’t understand what’s going on. He ordered a birthday cake for my birthday and came to wish me a happy birthday. How could he let me spend money? Woolen cloth?

Daughter-in-law: Well, Xiaotian is here to wish you a birthday. It’s enough for them to come, but you still have to ask them to buy some kind of cake. Can’t you just take the money for the cake yourself?

Wang Xiaoli: Why should we take the money ourselves?

Daughter-in-law: He will give you a run-in, and you ask me to give it to you

Tian Wa: Yes My sister-in-law understands!

Wang Xiaoli: Whose wife are you? Aren’t you Qian’s father’s wife? When you take money, you are not a father, you are a grandson!

Tian Wa: Brother Daddy

Wang Xiaoli: Should you call me Daddy or Brother? Just make it easier and throw that guy away!

Tian Wa: As for you, I’ve had enough with you. If anything happens to your family in the future, don’t come to me anymore. Do you hear me? You said I'm here, I'm here to help you look at the wires and stuff, and then you come over and have a bite of food, and now you ask me to build a cake. What do you want me to do? Sister-in-law, you...

Daughter-in-law: Xiaotian, don't be angry,

Wang Xiaoli: If you don't want to share the cake, then I will provide you with the food, wine, and cake... you have all the cake. Food! I just took a bite and you are almost done with it. So if you ask me to spend money, do you have no conscience?

Daughter-in-law: No, Xiaotian, what are you talking about? Don’t be angry. My sister-in-law will take this money. Don’t be angry either. Just go back to sleep, okay!

Tian Wa: OK!

Daughter-in-law: I will spend this money.

Wang Xiaoli: I told you that you want to take the money, don’t tell me that I am jealous of you!

Daughter-in-law: Who are you jealous of? If someone comes to wish you a birthday, why do they want to buy you a cake? What does it have to do with you to buy you a cake? You should get the cake money!

Wang Xiaoli: I will take it! How can I get this money? My money belongs to my father, can I take it? I took my father away, am I still the father of the money?

Daughter-in-law: I don’t care about my parents, I have to take the money and I’ll tell you!

Wang Xiaoli: Don’t worry about me today!

Daughter-in-law: Who are you anxious about?

Wang Xiaoli: You are so shameless

Daughter-in-law: Who is so shameless? Who is shameless (pre-fight posture)

(Wang Xiaoli never changes his mind)

Daughter-in-law: Let me ask you who is shameless

(Tian Wa Fighting)

Wang Xiaoli: You still hit me

Daughter-in-law: I will take the money

Wang Xiaoli: What's the matter with you?

Tian Wa: Stop fighting, stop fighting. Okay, sister-in-law, stop fighting!

Wang Xiaoli: You shrew,

Tian Wa: Brother

Daughter-in-law: You are going to piss me off to death, you

Tian Wa :Brother, stop talking, stop talking

Wang Xiaoli: I won’t talk if you don’t let me talk?

Tian Wa: Daddy, Daddy, stop talking. Can I accept the money for this cake? I got mine now! Can I just collect and pay the money now? Daddy, don't be angry, Daddy! Okay, you are my dad! I paid the money

Daughter-in-law: I’m telling you, you’re screwing me up. I’m leaving!

Wang Xiaoli: Go away. It would be better if you remarry. You (advising yourself) are not allowed to do this! I'm so angry that I'm having a heart attack!

Wang Xiaoli: Don’t tell me, this wish I made really works