Go to the seaside to pick up garbage, and talk funny.

I may stop for a year or so. I don't want to compete with my peers this year. I think of those days when I earned just enough money to live and had some leisure time. I want to pick up garbage, or do some simple manual labor, or play a small role in a small company and serve tea and water. I can't race with you because I am ill.

Being troubled by bipolar disorder for three years, I feel two forces, one is extremely happy and the other is extremely sad. They are always fighting for territory in my mind, which makes me very miserable.

I want to pick up garbage, work as a cashier in a bakery and work as a waiter in a restaurant. I'm crazy. I don't mean to discriminate against any profession. But society discriminates against manual workers. That's why I wrote this article to give my friends an injection. Yes, I've always been competitive, and I want to fall for a year. I'm so tired. I don't want you to suddenly see me packing my guests in uniform at ordinary times. I am even more afraid that you will suddenly come to the restaurant where I work and ask me in surprise, "Why are you here?" I know that I am very unpopular on weekdays, so I may be despised more at this moment. I don't want this. I'm just sick. Being sick is not my fault. This is the helplessness that I can't get rid of in my life. I shouldn't be ashamed of it.

Everyone says I am a lively and cheerful person, yes, I am, but I am also an evil and gloomy person, but no one has seen another me. About all kinds of things in my life, I had thought about it when I was depressed. Why else do you think I killed myself?

I want to pick up garbage. I don't want to face that greasy middle-aged leader. Obviously, he didn't teach me anything. I just thought about my humble respect for him. I give my time and youth, and you pay me. Why should I lick you on my knees?

I want to pick up garbage. I don't want to deal with all kinds of people. What a waste of energy. Everyone's situation is different. Who is qualified to evaluate other people's every move?

I want to pick up garbage, pick up a piece of garbage for a dollar, no one cares about me, no interpersonal relationship, maybe there will be other beggars and the like to compete with me, it doesn't matter, solving problems is what I am best at.

I also want to serve the guests with a smile, write down their orders, serve them on the table, get to work on time and get off work on time, get a fixed salary every month, and have my own time to do what I like every day. Fortunately, what I like costs nothing.

Actually, it's not bad to be a waiter I won't say much. Do your own thing every day, get off work on time and live a normal life. Ha! Who knows if I will say too much? I especially like to show off in front of people. I can't stop her most of the time, you must know.

I'm going to stop for a year or so and do some simple physical labor without too much brains and simple interpersonal relationships. My friend, if you see me one day, don't be too surprised. You don't have to worry about me, just please give this madman one last bit of dignity.