Respect children's lazy parents, please allow children to take their time.

Respect children's lazy parents, please allow children to take their time.

Respect the parents who delay their children, and please allow them to take their time. Many parents attach great importance to their children's growth, which is a sweet and difficult process and has a great influence on their future development. It is very important to cultivate children's ability. The following are ways to respect the parents who dally with their children and let them take their time.

Respect the parents whose children dawdle, please allow them to dawdle slowly. Children are slow to do things, eat slowly, sleep slowly and get dressed for half a day. Mom and dad look in their eyes and are anxious in their hearts.

Hurry up, it is likely to be slower and slower, and you have to make a fire; Don't worry, the planned thing seems to be postponed.

In fact, we need to understand the child's dawdling in order to solve the child's dawdling.

Lilac mother invited teacher Chang Run today to tell us how parents should deal with their children's procrastination.

Children before the age of 3 rarely procrastinate on purpose.

1 or 6-year-old children will instinctively please their parents. At the request of parents, children will do their best.

Generally speaking, children before the age of 3 rarely procrastinate on purpose. If a child is slow, there are generally two reasons: lack of motivation or lack of ability.

First, the motivation is not enough, that is, I am really not interested in this matter. For example:

1, today's meal is not delicious, or if you are not hungry, the baby will eat slowly;

2. I hate the cold feeling of undressing, so I refuse to undress;

3. If the bath water splashes into your eyes, you won't take a bath every day.

4. Sleeping is even more boring. You can't play anything when you turn off the lights. You can postpone it for a while.

Second, lack of ability to think quickly.

For example, the mother wants the baby to put on clothes quickly in 2 minutes, but the baby's fine movements are not fully developed, and it takes 2 minutes to put on socks.

In addition, the baby's memory and attention are very limited and easily worn out. Suddenly, he was attracted by other things and forgot that his clothes were not ready yet.

The fundamental "lack of ability" is that children have no concept of time.

Unlike adults, all children before the age of 3 are "living in the present".

The area in their brains that is responsible for planning is still immature, and they can't have the concept of time like adults, and understand that there is still the next thing to do after this is done, such as:

Walking on the road and seeing a bunch of ants moving things, children will stop to find out and forget to go to early education classes;

When I see a bird falling out of the window, I will run to say hello to the bird and forget to continue eating.

In their eyes, they simply can't understand what adults have been anxious about, because only adults will always plan for the future, but children won't.

Therefore, urging the child or reasoning with him and telling him that "there will be xx next" is not only useless, but also confusing the child.

Compared with urging, a more effective way is to understand and respect the child's slowness, and find out the reason when the child is dawdling.

Understand the reasons for children's dawdling.

To solve this problem

Not interested, not motivated enough?

Tell him "xxx first, then xxx"

For example, a child runs to play with toys after eating, which shows that he is not so hungry and is not interested in eating.

Don't say "don't play with toys" at this time, because the more you stop it, the more children want to play.

A more effective way is to tell the child to "eat before playing with toys" and help him abide by this rule.

This method is suitable for all situations in which children delay doing something and have to do it.

For example, parents can tell their children to "eat first, then watch TV", "take a shower first, then tell stories" and "sleep first, wake up and then play", and then do as the children say.

If parents insist on doing this, children can deeply remember and imprint these rules in their subconscious and form good habits.

This is also a way to teach children to learn time management and define priorities.

Children have a sense of priorities since childhood. After children go to kindergarten or even study, they can "write homework before playing".

Insufficient ability to do it slowly?

Simplify the task

There are two ways to simplify this task:

First, adjust the difficulty of the task;

Second, only one instruction is given at a time.

Some children don't want to dress themselves, because they feel that they can't dress well and it is difficult to dress well.

Parents can only let their children wear 1 clothes at a time, and we will help him wear the rest; When the child can skillfully wear a dress, slowly add the instructions to 2 or 3 pieces.

At the same time, because children's memory is limited, "giving only one instruction at a time" can make children concentrate more on completing one thing.

If you want your children to wear socks and shoes, you can do this:

Say "take your socks" at the beginning.

When the child finds socks, encourage him: "it's amazing, as fast as lightning!" 」。

After this task was completed, we said, "Now, go find the shoes! 」。

Give only one instruction at a time, and the baby will not be easily distracted in the middle.

It's the same when sleeping. Don't say "It's time to brush your teeth and wash your face and go to bed". Give instructions one by one, and let the children say "goodbye to the toys" first, and then say "Now, let's run to the bathroom!" When you get to the bathroom, start giving new instructions.

Excellent parents

Know how to persist and know how to yield.

Although the above methods can reduce procrastination in many children, they are not omnipotent.

If the mother is an acute child and the baby is a chronic child, none of these methods can make the baby as energetic as the mother.

Therefore, it is necessary for parents to think about what is the rhythm of things we should adhere to and what is the rhythm that we can respect our children and find a compromise rhythm that suits them and their children.

For things that you insist on in principle, such as "Don't leave the table after eating" and "Be sure to go to bed before ten o'clock in the evening", you need to insist on telling your children "first,,,,,,,,, and then,,, to stimulate their rhythm and help them form good habits.

For things that are not in line with principles, we'd better let the children follow their own pace, such as:

Traveling with friends on weekends, you know that children are slow-witted, so don't gather too early and leave more time for your baby.

When eating, eat less and eat more. Let the baby eat slowly at his own pace, while avoiding cold meals.

Children have no patience, and excessive urging may be interpreted as accusations by children, making children feel that they are not doing well enough and affecting their self-evaluation and self-confidence in time management.

We must adhere to the principle gently;

For unprincipled problems, we might as well take a small step back in advance, give children some space, let them find their own rhythm, and allow them to take their time.

Respect the parents whose children are dawdling, please allow your children to take their time. Experts from the Academy of Educational Sciences say that there are generally three reasons why children muddle along. First, they are naturally slow-witted; Second, children don't like to do something and deliberately dawdle; Third, parents did not cultivate their children to develop good behavior habits and did not formulate appropriate behavior rules for their children.

It is very important for parents to treat and understand their children's "muddling along" correctly. Because some parents see their children dawdle, they often think it is the child's reason, rather than looking for reasons from themselves, so they yell at their children. As a result, the children will not be fast, but will dawdle more.

In fact, the child's procrastination is not directly related to the child itself. The key is parents' views and practices. Educating and changing oneself is the highest realm of family education.

For children who are naturally slow-tempered, parents should learn to accept and respect their slow pace, because their natural personality is difficult to change. If children are forced to keep up with their parents' rhythm, they will lose self-confidence. No self-confidence is a more terrible result than muddling along.

For children who don't like to do something, parents need to be sympathetic and understand the reasons why children don't like to do it. Children can choose not to do things they don't like. For things that children don't like but must do, we should cultivate good behavior habits and formulate certain rules.

Then, what good behavior habits do parents need to cultivate their children in family education, and what rules should be formulated?

First, negotiate the schedule with your child and develop the habit of special time. Taking getting up early for school as an example, parents can observe how long it takes their children to finish washing, dressing and eating by themselves with a fixed time away from home as a node. If the child needs half an hour, wake the child half an hour in advance. In the process of implementation, children do well and need to be encouraged in time to form a virtuous circle; The child didn't finish well, and then find the reason.

Second, let children learn to bear the consequences themselves and develop responsible habits. Many parents complain while watching their children dawdle, and help their children finish some things, such as sorting their schoolbags and getting dressed. These parents can't bear to accumulate over time, so that their children don't develop good behavior habits. It is suggested that children be late several times and criticized by teachers several times, so that children can learn to be responsible for themselves.

Third, combine rewards and punishments to form the habit of efficient learning. For example, the evening schedule can be discussed with children, which can be divided into several stages, such as eating, doing homework, doing what you like, washing and sleeping. Reward and appropriate punishment are implemented in two time periods: doing homework and doing what you like.