Those decoration experiences that are comparable to "jokes" actually healed me

Facing a busy working day

Designers are busy coming up with design plans

Engineers are busy rushing projects

Sales clerk The partners are busy running business and signing orders

Can’t keep up with the pace?

In order to ease everyone’s busy state

I specially collected a bunch of “brains” "Violent" decoration connotation jokes

Don't look for 315 for small things

During the decoration, I made a shoe cabinet at the door. Who knew that after the carpenter finished the shoe cabinet, he only painted the outside and not the inside with varnish. Isn't this laziness?

I reminded him to paint the inside with varnish, and he plausibly said: "It is not necessary to paint the inside with varnish! It is better to keep the essence of the wood and not corrode the shoes!"

Hearing what he said, even a layman like me was confused. At this moment, I remembered that Sister Li's house in Room 15 on the 3rd floor was building a wardrobe. Why not go and consult? I said to the carpenter: "I always thought that the inside should be painted with varnish, so let me go to 315 for consultation!"

I turned around and was about to go to Sister Li's house in Room 15 on the 3rd floor. He grabbed me and said, "Don't! Don't! Can't you do it if I brush it for you? Why are you going to the Consumer Rights Protection Association for such a trivial matter!"

Change to soundproof down

< p> When our house was being renovated, in order to ensure quality, my mother volunteered to keep an eye on the work every day. During the renovation process, she emphasized to the decoration team countless times: "The material selection must be of high standards."

That day , woodworking requires soundproofing cotton. As soon as the supervisor expressed his decoration intention to her, she immediately refused firmly: "Cotton? No, absolutely not! Change it to down!"

Why is there a gun?

The nail gun I bought for the carpenter that day was broken even before it was used, so I planned to go to the hardware store to get one. The carpenter was afraid that I wouldn't know how to choose, so he went to buy it with me.

After going downstairs, I hailed a taxi. I sat in the front and the carpenter sat in the back. On the way, I complained, what kind of gun is this? It broke before it was used. This is not a delay. It's a matter of fact. The master carpenter said: "It's my fault that you haven't bought one and don't know how to choose! I have bought more than ten guns in the past few years, and none of them are broken! In our line of work, you don't know how to choose a gun. ?"

As soon as he finished speaking, the driver made an emergency stop. He stopped the car on the side of the road and said to us in a trembling voice, "What do you two do? Gun!”

Don’t take the model room seriously

After seeing the “model room” of a decoration company, Ms. Zhao was very satisfied, so she handed over her new house to the company for decoration. I found that the decoration quality was not as good as I imagined and was far from a "model room", so I went to the company to negotiate.

The person in charge of the company was very disdainful of her: "The model room is for you to see, not for you to live in! There is no way for me, the King of Heaven, to move such a model room into my own home!" Zhao The lady was speechless.

This is called peace

Because the construction team renovating the house was too irresponsible, my boyfriend had a dispute with them, and I went over to break up the fight.

Boyfriend: You are here just in time. Stand up straight facing the wall - did you see it? This is called equality! Do you dare to call the bricks on your wall flat? ! !

Construction team:...

"Suspended" ceiling

Mr. Hao's new house was decorated by "guerrillas", and he spent a lot of money and no worries. Less effort, but the quality is abysmal.

The bulging floor tiles and cracks in the wall were no big deal. Unexpectedly, one night, there was a crisp sound in the living room. The young couple walked over timidly and took a look, and couldn't help but gasped - it turned out The ceiling fell off.

So I called and asked in anger, and the "guerrillas" replied: "How can there be no reason not to drop the suspended ceiling?"

Where to put the TV

One day while discussing the design plan with the owner, the hostess insisted on buying a large TV to put in the living room, considering that her living room was not very big.

The male host touched his glasses and said softly to the woman, "Honey, should we put the TV on the balcony or the sofa on the balcony?"

Discount Decoration

As soon as a company's advertisement for discounted decoration was launched in the media, many people flocked to sign decoration contracts.

A few months later, there were constant calls from customers to complain, mostly related to decoration quality issues. The customer service department was unable to cope with the problem and reported it to the company boss.

The boss said calmly: "Tell them, don't yell, this is what discount decoration is like!"

Decoration design style

Owner: May I ask, Master? What style does this design belong to?

Master: Modern new concepts subvert traditional metaphors and abstract pragmatism.

Owner: What are the colorful things on this wall?

Master: Don’t think that is a wall. Can’t you see that it is a masterpiece written by Picasso? Picasso, you know ?

Owner: Of course. But isn’t the iron fence in the bedroom a bit redundant? Besides, it seems unnecessary to install a security door in the bedroom!

Master: Marriage is a prison of love, you should firmly believe this. As for the anti-theft door, it is considered to increase the safety factor of you and your husband's marriage.

Owner: This...

The holes drilled are rounder

After the house was decorated, the decoration team showed me the list. When I saw the holes for the air conditioner, I was surprised and said: "When my mother renovated the old house, it was not so expensive to drill holes for the air conditioner. You must have paid 20 yuan for your price."

< p> Captain: It’s expensive for a reason!

Me: Then tell me.

He thought for a while: The holes we drilled are rounder.

Environmentally friendly putty

An owner came to a building materials store to buy putty. The owner asked, "What does the nanotechnology written on this package mean?" The clerk thought for a moment and answered seriously. : This nano means environmental protection! Rice is edible, so surely nanotechnology is environmentally friendly! The owner is wondering: Can this putty be eaten as food?

Alarm security window

Decoration During the acceptance inspection, the customer found that the plastic steel window sliding door was very difficult and made a harsh "squeaking" sound. He was very confused.

The decoration master explained seriously: "This uses the most advanced anti-theft decoration technology. It has two functions: one is to automatically alarm, and the other is to remind the owner to pay attention to anti-theft every day."

p>

Progress of decoration

Owner: "The progress of your decoration is really too slow! You have been working on it for sixty days, but you haven't finished it yet! You know, God only created the world. It took six days!"

Decorator: "But you should take a closer look at what the world is like now! Then you will know that there is no benefit in rushing! ”

No money for nails

I am a designer. Once I went to buy wood boards. When the workers took them out, they found that there were nails, so I took the boards to the building materials boss. The building materials boss tilted his mouth and said: "What are you yelling at? I didn't charge you for the nails!"

Han, I'm still a regular customer.

Free air conditioner

In order to expand its business, a decorator advertised: If the decoration exceeds 80,000 yuan, an air conditioner cabinet will be given as a free gift. A certain owner asked him to renovate a new house at a cost of 100,000 yuan. After the construction was completed, he could receive the air conditioner based on the advertisement. The decorator asked: Where is the air conditioner you bought? I will ask the porter to deliver it to you!

Bedroom decoration

"How can I fall asleep faster?"

"Decorate the bedroom to look like a classroom!"

Every little story seems funny to others, but only those who have experienced it know that a mute eats Coptis chinensis and cannot tell the pain. Only business owners who have been tricked by small companies will understand this ridiculous thing. Therefore, use these jokes to guide everyone. When choosing a decoration company, don't blindly pursue cheapness. You should still take into account both project quality and after-sales service.