Talk about humor

1, the moonlight shines on the bed, and the lights are not turned off at night; Why do you ask? I just can't sleep.

I like aristocrats, but I don't like single aristocrats. Who thinks like me?

Cancer's friends are lucky, and the three boys of the heir have been angry with you.

4. Who said that men are better than women and have the ability to let men help you have a baby?

5. The legendary three stars: Lei Feng, Zhang Haidi and Batman Zhang Ga, referred to as Lady Gaga.

6, Doraemon said: Bear, what you want is not me, just that pocket.

7. Friend, if you like me, you can't say it out loud. Don't hide it.

8. When something happens, you should find the reason on yourself, just don't make trouble.

9. The waves behind the Yangtze River push the waves ahead, and each generation is not as good as the next.

10, your sleeping position determines your hairstyle. Starting today, you should study your sleeping posture and hairstyle.

1 1, dreaming, anything is possible, daydreaming can make your dream easier to realize.

12, the so-called rogue is that others look up at the beauty and you look down at the beauty.

13, if you can catch a man's heart, you must feed him first.

14, I haven't received a love letter. Write one for yourself.

15, I have a lot to say to you, but I can't say it, and I ate a lot of saliva.

16, playing games in internet cafes is like chewing gum, and you can't stop.

17, I believe you won't leave when you come. If you leave, I will pretend that you have never lived in the future.

18. Talking is only about Joseph. You understand my feelings at this moment.

19, if you were not blind, you wouldn't recognize me with your ears.

20. We always enlighten others, but we can never get rid of our troubles.

2 1, any unreliable explanation is redundant. Why should I flatter myself?

22. Everyone is working hard, but I stay at home and chew the corn.

There are not many people I love in the world, but you are the only one.

24. I will look forward to the future with pride, but I will never look down on you.

I can't see the future, but I've never been too low.

I'm just used to having you, but I don't need you.

27. It's actually very simple. Why do you think it is so complicated?

As long as I can forget you, I won't give up any chance.

29, no one loves me, I will love myself; Nobody loves me, I will love myself.

I don't have time to hate people who are insignificant to me.

3 1, I just don't want to see what once belonged to me in someone else's hands now.

32. It's not that I don't have a background, but I don't want to play big cards.

If you choose to leave, please don't regret it and come back to me.

34. No matter how beautiful the oath is, it is not worth saying that I will always be stupid.

You will never understand my sadness, because you are a heartless person.

36. Life is like a war. I seem to want to unify and let myself have a rest.

37. I only love those who love me, and the insincere ones are gone.

38. When I choose that moment, I won't regret it again.

39. I like my hairstyle. When I feel it, I have a shape.

40. Can't you see that I am very careful with you? I'm afraid you won't like me

Humor and Domineering in Winter

1. I once threatened at a high temperature of 38 degrees that I would rather freeze to death than become a dog. Until today, I was frozen into a dog, because I was too young to understand that beautiful promise.

Second, I like you, so stop teasing me! It's so cold that I'm going crazy.

Third, there is a kind of cold, not that you feel cold, but that your mother thinks you are cold.

Fourth, it's so cold that you can even fart and dry your hands.

5. I don't reply to your message. I am not cold, but my hands are cold.

Can you lend me a hug when the weather is cold?

Seven, it's cold, don't send me information about adding clothes. If you really love me, please put the money into my Alipay before you can add clothes.

Eight, cold is a word, I only say it once, I know you will use snot instead.

Nine, others laugh at me for wearing thick clothes, and I laugh at others for freezing into dogs.

The furthest distance in the world is not the distance between life and death, but the temperature difference between inside and outside the bed in winter.

Eleven, the most rogue in winter, always like to freeze my hands and feet.

The coldest is not winter, but winter festivals.

Thirteen, there is a kind of yearning called longing for autumn water, and there is a kind of cold called forgetting to wear long pants.

There is a kind of cold, not that you feel cold, but that your mother thinks you are cold.

It's cold. Put on more clothes. If you are ill, I will feel bad. To someone I care about.

16. I hope that when it is cold, someone will be ashamed to warm your hand. May a bright person live in your heart.

Don't forget to add clothes when it's cold. Be careful not to catch a cold and take care of yourself, because no one will feel sick.

Eighteen, I want to streaking in summer, and how many clothes I wear in winter is like streaking.

The recent ghost weather makes me feel like opening the refrigerator every time I open the door.

Twenty, it's cold, and the place I want to go most is your arms except the bed.

The recent ghost weather makes me feel like opening the refrigerator every time I open the door.

Be good to yourself, if no one holds your hand this winter.

Twenty-three, lonely men and few women, girls say that cold is actually hooliganism.

Twenty-four, the weather is as cold as a joke, and life is like nonsense.

Don't ask me why I didn't do well in the exam, because it's so cold that I'm going crazy.

Twenty-six, it's cold, with someone to hug and no one to add clothes.

Twenty-seven, two or three years in a flash, and winter in a hurry.

I'm afraid of cold, whether it's the weather or people's heart.

Twenty-nine, I want to streaking in summer, and how many clothes I wear in winter is like streaking.

Talk about sentences about humorous mood.

Talk about sentences about humorous mood.

1. Girls who love to laugh are generally not too bad luck, but their grades are generally not good.

2. What is a real brother? Is to stand up and be his woman when my brother needs a woman.

That man, stop fooling around and come to my hukou book.

It is not a problem to slap him with the help of mosquitoes.

5. Uncle can bear it, but aunt can't ~

I can't go shopping. As soon as I go shopping, I find myself lacking everything! !

7. Your love is as deep as the sea, so I jumped into the sea.

8. People say that women are like clothes; Brothers are like brothers. Today is my half-year anniversary of streaking.

9. It's good to listen to English songs. I'm not tired of listening for half a year, because I don't understand.

10. When passing downstairs, I accidentally knocked over a row of bicycles and was witnessed by a wild cat. It's over, it's another shame of mankind. ﹊

1 1. The future son will give you a father @

12. Gotta go. See you at the same table! Girlfriend herself! Bye, girlfriends! Goodbye, teacher! Principal ... give me my tuition back! ! !

13. If you wake up, don't forget to cover your roommate with a quilt. You won't have a chance after June …

14. I have more fans on Sina than you!

15. I used to be a schoolmaster, too, until one day I wanted to see the world of slag, but I couldn't find my way back.

Selected humorous sentences

1. Don't yell at me. I was frightened by dogs when I was a child.

2. The person you think you like likes you. At this time, you are generally narcissistic.

My desk lamp and chandelier fell in love, so I became a light bulb at home.

Now I will not turn my head reflexively when I hear your name, but I will suddenly freeze.

Youth owes me 10 million, and I will never let it go.

6. After finishing the math problem, my waist is not sore, my legs are not painful, and my heart doesn't even jump!

7. Dear son, I'm sorry, but your father hasn't caught up with your mother. Just a moment, please. I wish you a happy June 1st in advance.

8. I have an impulse to take a nap as soon as I get up in the morning.

9. I skipped classes too much. I wanted to go to class yesterday. Seeing the professor, the professor was surprised and said, I haven't seen you for so long, and I have grown so big.

10. I thought the air was free until I bought a bag of potato chips.

1 1. The old man flew the plane, the second detonated the bomb, the third exploded, and the fourth applauded.

12. If one day I change, please remember to say thank you.

13. What does a man's tongue do to tease?

14. Every time I say a word to someone I like, I feel that the whole world is sprouting.

15. "Picking up girls wants to see me, little flower of the motherland"

Complete works of humorous mood sentences

1. "What if I see a zombie?" "Shoot with a mobile phone" "Why" "Because I've seen so many zombie movies and I've never seen anyone bite a photographer"

2. I am a principled person, and my principle is only three words: look at the mood.

3. The death of the emperor is called death, the death of civilians is called death, and the death of the heartbreaker is called Ouye.

4. When we are together, we don't look at the mobile phone, and when we are not together, we reply to the message every second. This is the true love of modern people.

I will hold you and promise that I have done nothing.

6. Sneak into your space, forget to delete the visitor record only once, and lose the access right next time.

7. I don't want to show love, I'm afraid I'm dying!

8. Fight for the cow B you blew as a child.

9. The teacher used to say that I have a good temper, a cool expression and rich content.

10. I was cute when I was a child, and my brain was reluctant to use it. I grew up and didn't save much money.

1 1. I tease you because I care about you, I care about you because I like you, and I ignore you because there is a dog behind me.

12. You look like an accident scene.

13. Is your new lover someone else's whore?

14. How dare I touch you? I'm afraid I will buy hand sanitizer to help myself.

15. Don't let the whole world crowd you and Erwangzai cry that you are a rogue.

16. If someone scolds you, look at P or Mao, you can go back and see you.

17. I don't know much about music, so sometimes it's unreliable and sometimes it's out of tune.

18. I want to say that you are an idiot, I am praising you.

19. You look like an idiot on the left, a fool on the right, a pig above and a donkey below.

When I throw a bone at my dog, it knows to wag its tail at me. What are you?

2 1. I feel that I am past the age of doing my homework with reference answers.

22. Need to change the notebook-it takes minutes to boot, and the battery only supports minutes!

23. The most tiring thing in this world is to watch your heart break and have to stick it on yourself!

24. Don't think that you are an angel with a feather on your body.

25. I am like a child, and I also talk about caring for people.

26. Get out! You don't belong to my world, don't bother me!

27. China people have two characteristics: First, they don't like telling the truth; Second, I don't want to hear the truth.

28. After hearing what you said, a sense of superiority in IQ arises spontaneously.

29. It's best to slow down when you are happy.

30. Where is your mother? I'll put you back!

Talking about humorous jokes about love

First, men, the upper body is self-cultivation, the lower body is the essence; Women, the upper body is the bait, and the lower body is the trap.

Second, a buddy doesn't have a girlfriend yet. We asked him what he wanted. The buddy said: This girl has to be a pig. I asked him why, and my buddy said, I am a monkey. If I find a girl who is a pig like Pig Bajie and the Monkey King, she will be afraid of me.

3. Chief: Hello, comrades! Soldier: Hello, sir! Chief: comrades are all tanned! Soldier: The leader is blacker! The chief patted a soldier's chest and said, how well this muscle is trained! Soldier: Sir, I'm a female soldier.

Fourth, there is a beef noodle restaurant next door. The business of Lisi vegetarian noodle restaurant is getting worse and worse, and there are still few customers competing for price reduction. Later, he changed his signboard and his business was very good. It turned out that he changed his plain face into a face.

Fifth, the United States was shocked: swimming is really good. Xiao Xin: Mei Jing, you are becoming more and more like a fish. Mei Jing: You mean like a mermaid? Xiao Xin: No, you have more and more crow's feet!

Six, different times, different places, different people, the same only you and me; Time is changing, space is changing, and the only constant is my infinite yearning for you!

Seven, the husband and wife quarrel, the wife is a bitch, scold a lot of dirty words; Husband is a professor and won't swear, but he can't bear to part with it, so he shouts: ditto, ditto!

Eight, accidental acquaintance, permanent miss, just want to hold you in my arms, enjoy a moment of joy, occasional romantic indulgence, just infected with loneliness.

Girl: Let's break up. Boy: Can I ask you one last question? Girl: Stop asking! I love it! Boy: No. Did you release my bank card from Taobao?

After a night of fighting, the wife said to her husband: I finally understand why apes evolved to walk upright ... The husband asked: What is the reason? The wife said: press straight!

When I first met you, I said to myself: You are my goal in this life. I want to pursue you and hug you. I want to announce: I love you ... RMB.

12. Every time my girlfriend and I slam the door after quarreling, I will silently boil a pot of water, and then when the kettle breathes, I will point to the water and shout: Get out of here!

Thirteen, I thought it would take a lifetime of courage to break up with you, but today, I have to admit that it takes more courage to live with you.

Girl: You are so stupid that no one will marry you. Boy: I know, so I have to wait for you stupidly! Girl: Hey, hey, finally.

Fifteen, with you in my life, the sweet taste will embrace me; When you work, the joy of harvest haunts me; Falling in love with you, happy days fascinate me; I can't live without you, you are the baby in my heart!

Sixteen, the twelve hopes of love: waving hope, holding hands eagerly, holding hands wishing, clapping in a daze, shaking hands disappointed, shaking hands hoping, holding hands crying, looking back at the handrail, looking forward to holding hands, and despairing to break up.

Seventeen, the fate is scattered, love is tonight; Don't seek wealth, just want to have; Countless days and nights, silently missing; The mountain stream finally returns to the sea; The dream lover will eventually be in his arms!

There are many ways to praise a beautiful woman. The simpler way is: Girl, you look like a woman.

Edison: I haven't failed thousands of times. I just found thousands of ways to get love without success!

A three-year-old boy took the hand of a three-year-old girl and said, I love you. The little girl said, can you be responsible for my future? The little boy said: Of course! We are not one or two years old!

At the age of twenty-one, silkworms will weave until they die in spring. I love you more. Wildfire never completely devours them, and love will not burn out; The apes on both sides of the strait kept crying and laughing; I don't know how to express my love for you, but I say to you loudly: I love you!

I can only describe your beauty as a vegetable. Face is melon seeds. The waist is willow leaves. Eyebrows are willow leaves. Eyes are longan. The mouth is cherry. Hands are lotus roots.

Twenty-three, you are a big tree. Spring depends on your fantasy, summer depends on your prosperity, autumn depends on your maturity, and winter depends on your thinking. The beauty of life is that you guide me to find it. Thank you for your hug and beauty!

Twenty-four, the first time someone saw a movie, there was a scene where the heroine was lying in the bathtub. Seeing this, he stood up and said to himself, no wonder the ticket price upstairs is more expensive than that downstairs.

25. Little girls dream of finding a white horse. When they opened their eyes, they found that the whole world was a gray donkey. After being heartbroken, they can only choose a strong one from the donkeys. Such a donkey is named: economically applicable male!

I sent you a mosquito yesterday, telling you that I miss you very much, and asking it to kiss you for me, because I can't get near you now! It will tell you how much I miss you! You asked me how much I love you? A pimple represents my heart!

I don't know what you are doing. In such a late night, maybe I am the only one who misses you so painfully, over and over again. But I don't want to bother you. I hope you sleep well, like a carefree pig. Good night, dear!

Twenty-eight, girlfriend: What are the conditions for love? Boyfriend: Male and female. Girlfriend: Nonsense. Boyfriend: Yes, and a lot of nonsense.

I understand, I can't let go of your love, I am too familiar with your care, and I can't live without it for the time being. After separation, we may believe in love more!

Thirty, happy campus: if a girl looks terrible, call her the scene of the car accident, and her boyfriend calls for saving people; If a boy has no life, he is called Dunhuang Grottoes, and his girlfriend is called a grave robber.

Thirty-one, it's you, let me appreciate the taste of missing; It is you who let me enjoy the intoxication of love. Your every move always makes my heart rise and fall. I am afraid that time will fly, and I won't have more time to love you. So, will you marry me?

Thirty-two, so it will lose, and the unit is worried; If you must forget, I hope it is trouble; If I must miss it, I hope it is bad luck; If it can last forever, I hope you will be healthy, happy, happy and caring!

33. If loving you is a task given to me by God, I hope this task is permanent, and it should not have a deadline. Because God knows I will cherish you.

Wife, based on your good performance yesterday, I hereby present a banner and award you the title of a new wife who has never died in the century!

Thirty-five years old, the husband and wife are getting divorced and fighting for their children. The wife said: the child was born in my stomach, of course it is mine. Husband is angry: nonsense, can the money taken out of ATM return to ATM? It can only belong to the cardholder!

Don't panic when you meet a dog on the road. Fight bravely. There will be at most three results: first, you win, you are better than the dog; Second, if you lose, you are even worse than a dog; Third, you are even. You are like a dog.

Flowers bloom and fall, birds come and go. I remember when I was young, I loved chatting, laughing, clapping my hands and bending over. We used to jump over that rubber band. When I was young, my friends also thought about it.

Thirty-eight, heaven and earth are so far apart, but they are still together forever. Because their hearts are always together.

Thirty-nine, I had a car accident and twisted my waist. The driver is you, I was hit by love! Hee hee, I love you

Wife: honey, come in and help me take a bath ~ my husband heard that there was a fire inside, took off his clothes and went into the water room. Wife: Help me wash dates. What are you doing?

Forty-one, after receiving this message, it means that I like you, delete my secret love, reply that I want to marry me, promise to marry me if I don't, and change it to my person who died, and leave it to me in the next life and forward it to the world to declare that I love you!

Forty-two, men, like rabbits, have feelings for grass beside their nests: even if they don't eat it, they don't want others to eat it.

Forty-three, you have dreams during the day and dreams at night; You should take care of yourself, don't catch a cold and have a runny nose; If I sneeze occasionally, it means I miss you!

Forty-four, in this affectionate season, I really want to send you a bunch of blooming roses and countless blessings! May the fragrance of this rose faintly exude tender care and thoughts for you. Happy Valentine's Day!

Forty-five, my girlfriend said she was going to learn judo. Her father strongly objected, saying, who dares to marry you when a girl learns judo? She said coldly, see who dares not to marry!

Forty-six, I don't know how long the meteor can fly and whether it is worth pursuing. I don't know how long the cherry blossoms can bloom and whether it is worth waiting for, but I know that your friendship with me will be as beautiful as fireworks and worth keeping for a lifetime.

47. A tramp was stopped by a robber when he was leaving at night. The robber waved his dagger and shouted, Want money or die? The tramp was frightened and thought that he couldn't even save one life. Why did he need another life? It is better to be realistic and ask for money. So the tramp said to the robber, Give it back. And asked us for money.

Forty-eight, look out! There's someone behind! Don't listen to me in panic. First, slowly lift your left hand to sweep your shoulders, and then slowly lift your right hand to do the same. All right, dandruff has been dusted off. Happy Valentine's Day.

Forty-nine, a female friend's birthday, the four of us discussed sending her a happy birthday at 0: 00, each sending a word, and I got the second one. As a result, they didn't send it

Baby, you should do three things every day: the first is to laugh, the second is to laugh, and the third is to laugh. I wish you smile every day, don't giggle now!

51. After a pair of post-80s men and women introduced each other's basic situation, the woman couldn't sit still: You don't have a house or a car to kiss? Man: Love is coming.

52. The tiger and the lion are fighting, and the tiger has run away. At this time, the lion quit, chased and chased, chased to a small yard, and waited and waited. Suddenly, a cat came out, and the lion went up and said, demo, call your dad!

53. The rise of China has made the country prosperous; Magnificent mountains and rivers, eventful years; Jiangshan is not old, the motherland will always be spring! On this National Day holiday, I wish our great motherland prosperity forever, and wish good luck and health to accompany you all your life!

54. You must follow me unconditionally! I have reason to detain you for a long time! Don't sell your love to passers-by Solemnly, you and your love belong to me!

Fifty-five, one of my buddies is lovelorn. I went to see him today. He fights landlords on the computer. I'm watching. It's obviously a couple. Unexpectedly, he played a card and said harshly, Horse! Break up a couple. It's a couple

Fifty-six, my boyfriend said, baby, your skin is so white. I was silent for a few seconds and sighed. It's really white!

Last month, one of my sisters borrowed a dollar from me for plastic surgery. Now I don't know what he has become. My money!

Fifty-eight, a couple strolled under the moon and flowers. Man: What could be more beautiful than this bright moon in the Mid-Autumn Festival? Woman: It was just a honeymoon.

59. Dear couples, welcome to love flight. This flight takes off from Love Airport, passes through Romantic Station, Sweet Station and Warm Station, and will arrive at Happiness Airport on Valentine's Day. I wish you a safe journey and a happy love!

Sixty, I want to set up a small house and be your little wife; Carry the vegetable basket together and cross the alley in front of the door; Want another child, as cute as meatballs; When you grow a white beard, remember the good times together!

6 1. Jade Emperor: Now the court is in session to hear the case of Erlang God's roaring dog and Chang 'e Jade Rabbit, and summon the defendant! Hey! Whistling dog! Call you! Still reading text messages! Still smirking!

Sixty-two, with you, the world is more exciting, with you, the starry sky is more brilliant; The world is warmer with you; I feel happier with you!

Sixty-three, I never regret loving you. I will miss you forever. I miss you so much that I can't sleep. You can't learn if you forget. A little pig is intoxicated in the mobile phone!

Sixty-four, two people take a double-decker bus and one goes upstairs. After a while, he hurried down: never sit on it, there is no driver there!

If God allows me to make three wishes, the first is to be with you in this life, the second is to be with you again and again, and the third is to be with you forever.

Wife: Thank you for every meal and every dress you cooked for me. You know, the real feelings are only those that can stand the dull time!

Sixty-seven, if there are no flowers, spring will be lonely, if there is no * *, the four seasons will be mediocre, if there is no me, you will lose someone who cares about you the most! Without you, the rabbit will ask: Who should I race with? Happy Women's Day!

Sixty-eight, I've been with my girlfriend for a year, and I finally understand that there are two sentences. Just pick one can calm my girlfriend down. The first sentence is: You are right. The second sentence: buy.

Recently, I worked overtime until midnight every day, and my colleague Xiao Zhang drove me home. I jokingly said to my boyfriend, aren't you worried that Xiao Zhang will come to see me off every night? Boyfriend said: Why not worry? If people don't see you off one day, I won't have to pick you up in the cold.

The first day I met you, I was conquered by your eyes. At that time, I knew that I was already a prisoner of your life.

No one is right or wrong in love. Only when you have been abandoned and hurt can you know how to love? As long as you love brave enough to love, you believe that happiness is just around the corner.

Seventy-two, I went out to play with a sister paper yesterday. Suddenly she said that she had been bitten by a snake in her chest, and told me to suck out the poison quickly. I laughed as soon as I heard it: How can you be such a person? What if I get poisoned by inhaling it? You think I'm stupid! Go, take you to the hospital. Shit, and then she said it's okay. Is this girl crazy? Stay away from her in the future.

Seventy-three, a traffic accident happened in the city, and two cars collided head-on. A driver shouted angrily, are you blind? Another driver retorted: Who said that? Didn't I hit you red-handed

Seventy-four, through the mountains and rivers, the feet are high and low, and I have experienced ups and downs, and I am also looking for it. Life is busy, I have gained more or less, lost bits and pieces, and the important thing is to be happy!

A beautiful young woman said to a fireman: You must have worked very hard to save me from danger, didn't you? Fireman: Yes! I beat off three firemen, and they all rushed to save you.

Seventy-six, a couple sitting in the moonlight. When his girlfriend saw her boyfriend coming to kiss her, she blocked his mouth and said, no, not before marriage! Boyfriend: Well, I can wait. I'll leave you my phone number and let me know when you will get married!

Seventy-seven, if it is a mistake to look good, then I am all wet. If loveliness is a sin. I have committed a terrible crime. It's hard to be a man! You are fine, yes, and you are not guilty … I envy you!

Seventy-eight, the giraffe married the monkey. A year later, the giraffe filed for divorce: I will never live this kind of jumping up and down again! Monkey is furious: you go and you go. Who has ever seen a kiss and climbed a tree?

A pig was starving in the desert when he found the magic lamp. Magic lamp: I can only realize one of your wishes. Hurry up, I'm in a hurry. Pig: I want a wife ... the magic lamp immediately conjures up a beautiful woman, and then disdains to say: I'm starving and greedy for beauty! Pathetic! Then he disappeared. Pig: ... cake.

If I had a happy grass, I would give it to you. I hope you are happy. If I have two, one for you and one for me, let's all be happy! If I had three, I would give you two. I hope you are happier than me!

Eighty-one, this year's Tanabata, Cowherd and Weaver Girl quarreled. Weaver Girl complained: We only say a few words a year, which is too painful. I want to break up with you! Cowherd got angry when he heard it: I also want to send you a text message with my mobile phone, a necessary chat tool for couples! But on this day, there is no cell phone signal!

Eighty-two, you are water, I am sand, and I am mixed with you! You are a hook, I am a fork, and together we are friends!

Even if time stops, even if life is like dust, if the world will eventually disappear, our love will never die.

Eighty-four, Xiao comma was dumped by his girlfriend, and he was heartbroken. Friend comfort: forget it, forget her, it's no big deal! The little comma cried: I can't forget it. I bought her a lot of things, all on installment.

Eighty-five, my aunt found a large number of young people wearing black gloves, black clothes and black boots. They gathered together and acted mysteriously. Aunt suspected that it was * * who called the police, and * * rushed to ask before knowing that it was celebrating Black Day. Have fun!