Make fun of friends and send friends.

We are in the era of WeChat, so we will see spoof sentences in the circle of friends, because brushing friends is a daily habit. Let's take a look at some circles of friends who spoof friends.

A spoof friend sent a circle of friends 1 1. A hen laid a huge egg and a journalist came to interview. The hen was shy and silent, so she had to interview the rooster. The cock rolled up his sleeves. I won't comment on this matter at present, until I catch the ostrich!

2. A man swallowed an artificial eye by mistake and finally got stuck in the anus, so he went to the hospital. The doctor saw it and fainted on the spot. After waking up, he said, I've been looking at asshole all my life, but I didn't expect to see it at last. ...

3. Henan Eva asked Henan Mom, "How does ABCDEFG make a sentence?" Henan mother: "A, this B child is from C family? Standing barefoot on D, EF does not wear, GG is still exposed! " Ha ha laugh ...

When a person always farts in the office, his colleagues can't help but say, "Can you keep quiet?" Then I saw him sitting there rocking. Colleagues asked, "What for?" Answer: "I set it to vibrate."

A woman selling eggs was walking on the road at night when a man suddenly jumped out and wanted to do something wrong. The woman bravely resisted, and the man finally succeeded. As soon as it was over, the woman got up and patted the dust on her body: "What a big deal! I didn't say that before I thought I was robbing eggs! "

6. A man went shopping and was in a hurry to pee in the corner. The old lady looked at it and said, "If you urinate anywhere, you will be fined five yuan." The man said, "Who said I peed? Can't I take it out and have a look? "

7. Just as I was screening my resume, I saw a resume of graduate students' award-winning experience: I won Master Kong's "One more bottle" award many times during my school days.

8. In history class, the teacher asked Xiaoming, "Do you know how the Japanese laugh at us?" Xiao Ming: "Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe ..."

9. Nietzsche went to an interview, and the interviewer asked, "What's your name?"

"Nietzsche."

"Guess you are grandma! Next! "

10, when crossing the road, I met a red light. My friend wants to move on. I stopped him: "Wait for the light, wait for the light!" "

My friend turned to me with disdain and said, "Only you have Intel!"

1 1. A brother chases his girlfriend, and every morning he has a pack of heart-shaped biscuits and a bottle of milk. Perseverance, finally got what I wanted. One morning, he went to see his girlfriend with a heart-shaped biscuit. His girlfriend asked, "Where did you buy this biscuit? I went to many supermarkets, but I just couldn't buy this shape. " He proudly said, "Of course I can't find it. I chewed it up ... "

12, my uncle came to visit, but Xiaowen said to his mother, "Mom, I'm going to the zoo to see monkeys." Mother growled at once, "What monkey are you looking at? Your uncle is here. What zoo are you going to? "

13, when I was in college, a teacher asked me to fill out a very important form, and declared that each person had one, and I couldn't alter it without the rest. A buddy came up to fill it out, only to find that the gender column was filled with the national "Han nationality". He thought about it and added a word "Zi" after "Han".

14. Several little boys scraped together a dozen dollars to buy toys, but they didn't know what to buy. One of the suggestions: "Go and buy sanitary napkins!" People don't understand, why? The boy said, "I don't know, but it is said on TV that with it, you can climb mountains, water ski, play ball games and skate, carefree and happy."

Make fun of friends and send them to friends circle 2 1. If you play with people who bully me, it's bullying me.

2. It is difficult to love one person, it is annoying to love two people, and it is also difficult to love three or three people.

You are like a beautiful candy. You will find that it is still full of bites.

4. The meat is three feet thick.

Sometimes there must be something in life that makes me angry all the time.

6, the long road of life, who takes two steps.

7. Once someone misses it, thank goodness.

8. Poor men have no wives and fat women have no clothes to wear.

9. The greatest wish in life is to eat a bowl of instant noodles in advertisements.

10, go to sleep quickly, or your dream lover will run away with someone else.

1 1, review the boat and turn it over, and the desire to sleep comes.

12, talk back, don't always talk.

13, be a loser, have no dreams, eat and sleep, and stay cute.

14, I haven't touched my pen for a long time, and now I feel like an emperor approving paper.

15, it's not that reading is useless, it's that you are useless, mainly because you are useless.

16, look at my memory, and then treat you as a person.

17, I didn't know what dependence was until I lost my belt.

18, there are many emotions recently, and the expressive power is obviously insufficient.

19, I always have a few such friends around me. When they first met, they were very gentle. I don't know which mental hospital was released when I was cooked!

20. Women are books and men are pigs. Never expect pigs to read.

Let's talk about spoofing friends circle and sending friends circle.

1. A naughty student nicknamed the girl in the same class "Fat Pig". The girl cried and complained to the teacher. The teacher promised to criticize and educate the boy. The next day, the teacher spoke in class: "One of our classmates is so rude. Give other students nicknames at will. You can't just call you anything! "

Catch the bus in the morning, and when we get to the platform, the bus has already left. So you had to chase and shout, "master, wait for me!" Master, wait for me! " Then a passenger leaned out of the window and said to you, "Wukong, stop chasing."

A foreigner came to Taiwan Province Province to learn Chinese directly, but he never knew the difference between "iron" and "steel". One day he came home late and the door downstairs could not be opened. He had to shout loudly upstairs: "landlady, your steel door won't open ..."

4. A man went fishing by the river. He wore a leaf first, but no fish took the bait for a long time. He changed another piece of bread, but no fish took the bait for a long time. He had no choice but to change earthworms, but no fish took the bait for a long time. In a rage, he took out a hundred-dollar bill, fell into the water and cursed: "What do you want to eat? Buy it yourself! "

A man was starving in the desert when he found the magic lamp.

Magic lamp: "I can only realize one of your wishes." Come on! I'm in a hurry. "

Man: "I want a wife ..." The magic lamp immediately conjured up a beautiful woman, and then disdained to say: "I'm starving and still covet beauty, poor thing!" Then he disappeared.

Man: "... cake."

6. A psychopath sang in bed, turned over and continued to sing on the pillow. The attending doctor asked, "Just sing. What are you doing turning over? " The psycho said, "Fool, of course you have to sing B after singing A side."

7. A psychopath was writing a letter, and the nurse asked, "Who are you going to write to?" Patient: "Write it to myself!" Nurse: "What does the letter say?" Patient: "You are crazy! How do I know I haven't received it yet? "

8. The bachelor pony picked up a handkerchief embroidered with A Xiang and his telephone number. Pony dialed the telephone excitedly: "hello!" Is Miss A Xiang there, please? " For a long time, a voice came: "grandma, your phone!" " "

9. A man knocked down a strange old man on a motorcycle in the city center. The man was scared out of his wits. There are more and more people watching. Suddenly, the man hugged the old man and cried, "Dad, wait for me, I'll get you a doctor." After that, he ran away ... The old man struggled and shouted angrily, "Come back to me!" " "Everyone sighed with emotion:" This son is really filial! "

10, Zhuge Liang is a master of eight stunts, one of which is ventriloquism. It is said that Zhuge Liang discussed with Liu Bei in his account this day. Zhuge Liang suddenly wanted to fart, but he was afraid of being heard by Liu Bei. I'm really sorry. He had a brainwave and said, "Master, how about I call you a woodpecker to adjust the atmosphere?" Liu Bei nodded. Zhuge Liang barked twice in imitation of a woodpecker and took the opportunity to fart. Then ask: "How? Master, do I learn like it? " Liu Bei said, "Learn it again. You farted too loudly just now. I didn't hear it. "

Talk about the classic circle of friends.

1. Once I suddenly thought of going swimming, I bought a pair of cheap swimming trunks in the supermarket, because there were no other colors, only red. As a result, I didn't expect the swimming trunks to fade. When I was soaking in the pool, a wisp of red came out of my lower body and rippled in the water ... An uncle swam past me, looked at the red "blood" under me and looked at my bare upper body. For an instant, his expression was very contradictory. ...

Tell me more about my childhood! Everyone knows the big 28 bicycles with beams! When I was four or five years old, I used to sit directly on the beam of my father's bike and sit sideways. After a long time, my feet would be numb and uncomfortable! Last time I went to grandma's house, I suggested sitting in the back seat, because my feet wouldn't get numb! Agreed! Haha, let's go! ! As a result, when I reached my destination, it was a tragedy ... Dad forgot me, stepped on his leg directly from behind, and then swept me down directly. ...

3. I heard from a friend that when he was in college, a boy with low emotional intelligence finally met a girl he liked, and they just started dating.

Once a girl was ill, and a boy accompanied her to the infirmary for intravenous drip.

Ten minutes passed, twenty minutes passed, and nothing happened.

Thinking of breaking the silence, the boy asked, "Is it cold?"

"cold"

"Cold, I'll cover it for you?"

The girl blushed and whispered "Yes".

Then the boy stood up and put his hand on the drip bottle.

It is said that when I was a child, I always bullied my sister because of my age. One night, my father came to tuck us in and suddenly found my three-year-old sister sitting in the dark watching me sleep!

"Why don't you sleep?" Dad asked.

My sister quickly said, "Shh! Keep your voice down and hit her when she falls asleep! "

5. I have a classmate who is a Christian and feels a little possessed.

School should do morning exercises in the morning, and he thinks that teachers must also get up early to do exercises, otherwise it is unfair.

So I went directly to consult with the principal.

The headmaster paused and said, "Where are you from?"

My classmate said affectionately, "I was sent by God to save you."

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6. This person is hard of hearing when he is old. I remember when I was a child at my grandmother's house, one morning my grandfather was going fishing and met the old man next door as soon as he went out. The old man said to my grandfather, "Go fishing!" My grandfather said, "No! I'm going fishing. " Then the old man said, "Oh, I thought you were going fishing?" I was stunned.

7. I didn't pay attention to washing the bowl, and the bowl fell to the ground. Fortunately, I only lost a corner on the side and became a small gap.

Then continue to wash the dishes. I didn't notice my right hand. I crossed the gap ... it broke.

I thought: Is it really that fast? I can break my hand. Then I tried it with my left hand and it broke.

I thought to myself, that was fast. If this bowl is used for eating, wouldn't it be miserable? Then NC, I tried it with my mouth ... my lip was broken ...

8, a couple on the bus, the woman let a pervert touch, the boyfriend has no expression. After arriving at the station, her boyfriend pulled the pervert out of the car, beat him skillfully and took his girlfriend away. Analysis of the reasons for a website's voting. 75% voted "This kid is waiting for his skills to cool down ..."

9. There is a steamed stuffed bun shop near the subway station, and the business is very good. It queues up every day, next to a train ticket sales point.

Queue up there to buy steamed buns today. When I was about to arrive, I heard two men behind me say, "Oh, this is the steamed stuffed bun shop, the train ticket conductor ... Ah, over there!" " "