Are there any funny ancient poems or articles?

Most people call folk poetry "doggerel", and there is an allusion here. In the Tang Dynasty, a man named Zhang Dayou wrote a poem about snow:

There are black holes in the well.

The yellow dog is white and the white dog is swollen.

The whole poem is vulgar and plain, and Zhang Dayou's reputation spread like wildfire. Later, people called vulgar poems limerick. Interestingly, many celebrities in the past dynasties occasionally made oil paintings. According to legend, Su Shi has a horse face, while Su Xiaomei has a very wide forehead. They used to play jokes on each other with limerick. Su Shi first challenged:

The front foot has not left the boudoir, and the forehead has reached the front of Huatang.

Su Xiaomei not to be outdone, retorted:

Tears of homesickness last year began to flow to my lips this year.

Jie Jin, a great talent in the early Ming Dynasty, was humorous and resourceful. He once went fishing with Zhu Yuanzhang. Zhu fished for a long time, but he didn't see any fish hooked. He was angry. Jie Jin busy compliment him:

All the fish are afraid to go to the emperor. Long live the king only fishing.

To put it bluntly, Zhu was "very happy" that Tang Bohu in Ming Dynasty was aloof and unwilling to covet precious things. He wrote a doggerel and hung it in the study to show his mind:

Without refining the elixir and meditation, there are immortals in the Peach Blossom Temple.

Write a picture of a castle peak for sale in your spare time, so as not to make money on earth.

Zheng Banqiao in the Qing Dynasty also had similar self-encouragement poems:

Bamboo is not relaxed at all, its roots are firmly embedded in the cracks in the rocks.

Tempering, southeast wind and northwest wind.

Limerick is often used to laugh at and tease others. According to legend, when Ji Xiaolan wrote a birthday couplet for an official's mother, he wrote: The old lady is not human. An official's face was livid. Ji said unhurriedly: Nine fairies descended to earth. The official turned anger into joy and even sighed subtly. Unexpectedly, a stroke of the pen in the season is: adopted sons are used to being thieves. The official immediately fainted to the ground. When he came down to wake him up, Ji added: steal a peach to honor his mother. When I looked back at the official again, I looked pale, sweaty and flustered, as if I had reached the gate of hell. There is another similar example. In ancient times, there was a scholar who wrote a jingle for the birthday of a family named Tao:

How helpless, how helpless, it is raining cats and dogs today.

On a rainy night, I wish Tao a long life, which is worse than torrential rain.

The first three sentences of the poem angered the main family, and each sentence was different from Feng. God came and made the birthday poem full of brilliance, which shows the wonderful thinking of this scholar.

Li was a gifted scholar and a master of oil painting in the pre-Qing Dynasty. According to the cloud, during Li's tenure as the examiner of Liangjiang, many scholars refused to accept it and joined hands with Li. Finally, everyone sang a poem on the topic of sparrows. Li recited two limerick poems without thinking. A cloud:

Nest after nest, 345678 nests.

How small the Phoenix is to eat Emperor Wang Qian Suzhong!

The second cloud:

One by one, they are all shallow hairs and sharp mouths.

Hair is light enough to fly, but mouth is sharp enough to sing.

Don't laugh, Dapeng is silent and spreads his wings for nine days.

Scholars first laughed, then laughed and laughed, and finally froze. Li Tiaoyuan smiled and said nothing, and roared off.

There are also emperors who write limericks. According to legend, during the Qianlong period of the Qing Dynasty, when an academician wrote a letter, he mistook "Weng Zhong" for "Weng Zhong", and Qianlong conveniently approved:

How can Weng Zhong be a model? Ten years of cold window has not contributed much.

It is not allowed to send Lin Han to Jiangnan for judgment now.

Qianlong fought poison with poison, and deliberately wrote Kung Fu, Hanlin and Tongguan as Fugong, Hanlin and Tongguan. Hanlin was ashamed and went to Jiangnan.

The most interesting is a limerick that satirizes some so-called poets:

I have never seen a poet in my life, but I have seen a poet grow to eight feet long.

How can a poet fart on a high wall?

The language of this poem is vulgar, humorous and hilarious enough to make those "poets" feel ashamed.

Limerick is also often used to brag. In ancient times, a group of scholars met in the wild by chance, boasted about their talents, argued with each other, and finally decided to sing a poem that best expressed their talents. A scholar beat the crowd and won the championship. Its poem cloud:

The number of articles in the world is Sanjiang, and the number of articles in Sanjiang is hometown.

Hometown is my brother, and my brother and I study it.

As soon as this poem came out, other literati had nothing to say.

The boasting function of doggerel reached its peak in 1950s, when the main poet in this field wrote: "The Yang family has an aunt Yang, who is 58 years old this year. In the era of "everyone is a poet", which was tall, heavy-eyed and wide-mouthed, many "peasant poets" emerged, and four limerick poems were called "masterpieces":

( 1)

Plant a pumpkin like soil and put it on the top of Wuyue Mountain.

Thrown into the Pacific Ocean, the earth has another continent.

(2)

An ear of rice is long, and bridges are built on both sides of the Yellow River.

Ten cars walk side by side, and the train doesn't sway.

(3)

A fat pig is big and long, and its body spans the Pacific Ocean.

The pig's back can get off the plane, and the pig becomes an airport.

(4)

The rice pile was round and pointed, and the members piled it into the sky.

Pull a piece of white cloud to wipe the sweat, and smoke a bag of cigarettes near the sun.

There is also a special kind of doggerel, which consists of seventeen words, commonly known as "three sentences and a half" among the people, and there is also a story here. According to legend, in ancient times, there was a scholar who thought highly of himself, often boasted and talked eloquently. Unfortunately, in actual writing, it was a quatrain, and he often got stuck at the last sentence, so he had to end it in two words in a hurry, so he got the nickname "three sentences and a half". On one occasion, "Three Sentences and a Half" met a peasant girl in the wild. She was very excited and said:

The sunset shone on the villa and a girl came.

The golden lotus is only three inches, measuring horizontally.

Hearing this, the peasant woman turned pale with anger, called her family and sent "three sentences and a half" to court. As soon as I went to court, I saw the county magistrate surnamed Wang, and "three sentences and a half" blurted out.

The county magistrate, surnamed Wang, was bent on becoming an emperor.

Click death.

The county magistrate was furious and immediately sentenced him to "three and a half sentences" for molesting the commoner and sending him to the frontier. On the day of departure, uncle Sansentence and a half came to see me off, and the sadness of Sansentence and a half came from this. He sang:

Exile the army to the frontier and meet my uncle like a mother.

Two people cry together, three lines.

How can two people cry in three lines? After a long time, it turned out that the "three sentences and a half" uncle was a "cyclops".

Quite a few limerick poems are imitations of previous poems. There was a corrupt official in ancient times, who was earth-shattering as soon as he took office. He was in a daze when he decided the case, and usually lived a luxurious life. There was a scholar who used the rhyme of Cui Hu's "Titu City South Village" to play with oil:

On this day last year, in this door, iron face and dross are different.

I don't know where I've been. I drink scum every day.

In the sharp contrast between the two officials before and after, the face of corrupt officials was deeply portrayed. The irony of corrupt officials is probably the best in Liang Yusheng's imitation of Lao Du's poems, which is compiled in "Talking about Music with the Famous Association":

It's good to sing my songs loudly, drink my wine and dance at night.

Expose the dirty psychology of corrupt officials.

The object of parody is Li Bai's Thoughts on a Quiet Night. A student is pumping oil on the table:

The sun outside the window burned my hair.

Look up at the teacher and bow your head to sleep.

He gently criticized the teacher's boring class. A primary school student was inspired when he was fighting cockroaches at home and sang unconsciously:

There are electric lights overhead and cockroaches on the ground.

If you sprinkle dichlorvos, the cockroach will die.

Quite childlike. Ironically, some insects:

Facing the sun, I am busy going out in the morning.

Say nonsense and rush to the next game.

For some corrupt officials, there are also ironies:

Soak in the wine field during the day and enter the box at night.

A stomach, delivered to the producer.

Describe the faces of social insects and corrupt officials vividly and vividly.

Su Xiaomei: Last year, a tear of lovesickness didn't flow to my cheek.

Su Dongpo: My forehead has reached the front of the lecture hall.

Customer: Boss, how much are these pants?

Boss: 180 yuan, authentic Guangzhou, do you want it?

Guest: Let me have a look first. ...

Boss: Don't look. Everything is good. I'll give you a discount 170 yuan.

Customer: Is this also called a discount?

Boss: Hehe, ok, 140 yuan, it's ok this time.

Customer: Hahahaha, I laugh!

Boss: What are you laughing at? Is it too expensive?

Customer: No, it's more expensive. It's like pumping my blood with a pump

Boss: No exaggeration. If you are local, it is 120 yuan.

Guest: ...

Boss: You won't be too expensive, will you? I can only earn you a few dollars at most.

Customer: No, I didn't say expensive. This pair of trousers is worth the price.

Boss: You really have sunshine. Buy it quickly.

Customer: pants are good pants, but I have limited money in my pocket.

Boss: How much money do you have in your pocket?

Guest: 90 yuan.

Boss: Oh, my God, you must be kidding. You're gonna kill me. Add 10 yuan.

Customer: No, I want to give you 120 yuan, but there is nothing I can do.

Boss: OK, make friends, and forget about 90 yuan.

Customer: I won't give you 90 yuan. I'll keep the fare 10.

Boss: The fare? What does this have to do with you buying pants?

Customer: Of course, I come from a far, far place. I have to go back by coach. Ticket price 10 yuan.

Boss: You are a liar!

Customer, I haven't cheated anyone since I was eighteen, believe me. Look at my expression, how sincere.

Boss: Although I can't see your sincerity, I admit that I lost it. You can count on 80 yuan.

Customer: Wait, I have to add that I haven't had breakfast yet. I'm hungry.

Boss: You! ! God, you've gone too far. You are playing tricks.

Customer: Believe me, I am sincere. If I don't eat again, I will faint in front of you.

Boss: I'm unlucky to meet a slick like you. But you really went too far. One minute you have to take a bus, and the next you have to have breakfast. Are you saying that you are thirsty? Do you want to drink later?

Customer: You underestimate me. Believe me, I want nothing more.

Boss: Believe you? Last time?

Customer: Yes, believe me.

Boss: OK, cheer up, 70 yuan.

Customer: I'll give you the money right away.

Boss: Hurry up.

Customer: Wait, there seems to be something wrong with the color here.

Boss: No, it isn't. It's matte. It was done on purpose. This is called fashion.

Customer: Really? Looks like old pants. It's weird.

Boss: What? It doesn't matter if you insult me. Please don't insult my pants. This is the real thing.

Guest: ...

Boss: ok, I'll show you my order ... you see, the purchase date was last week, and the purchase unit was a garment factory in Guangzhou. How can these be old pants?

Customer: Oh, I'm sorry, I misunderstood, but ... Oh, my God, the price: 20 yuan 1.

Boss: Oh, no, no. This is the price before tax. After-tax cost per unit, 40 yuan.

Customer: You are lying. Do you think I'm a fool? This is the VAT invoice, which is the price after tax payment. These pants are only worth 20 yuan, but you ...

Boss: Hey, hey ... Do you want to do business? You know, I rent hundreds of facades every day. What can I eat without making money?

Customer: In broad daylight, Lang Lang Gan Kun, your heart is too dark!

Boss: Hey hey, how about 30 yuan? My good brother, let me make some money.

Customer: Money is a piece of cake. It's just that your behavior makes me angry. You have deeply hurt a consumer's heart.

Boss: Is it that serious?

Customer: Don't you think cheating is not serious? If this continues, it is fraud and crime!

Boss: God, it's so exaggerated. In this way, if you put out the fire, I'll sell it to you for 25 yuan and make five dollars.

Guest: What? 25 means 250. You look down on me?

Boss: No, no, just 24.

Customer: There is a 4, which means "death". Bad luck. I am superstitious.

Boss: God, is there a problem with 23?

Guest: OK, it's a deal.