The most meaningful and obscene joke.

I was tired from walking in the street, so I sat on the bench in the street to have a rest. Suddenly a man with glasses greeted me as if I knew him well. I said, excuse me, are you ... He said you look like my girlfriend, but she ... left ... and then I saw him in pain. By the way, is she terminally ill? He said it was an accident, and one day we had a good time! She suddenly exploded ~5 Honey, can I ask you a question? I looked down: you go.

Wife: When you first got married, you took my hand to sleep every day. Why don't you do it now? I stubbed out the cigarette butt in my hand and said, that's because the bride price I gave you when I first got married was 500 thousand, and I was afraid you would go to sleep hand in hand. 6. My girlfriend and I went to the zoo to see tigers. When I was feeding the tiger, my girlfriend accidentally fell down. This scene is really terrible. Two tigers were killed on the spot, and one quickly fled back to the hole shivering.

7. "An Englishman, who lost everything, braved hardships and waded through mountains and rivers, finally found the Dragon Ball and summoned it. The dragon said, "I can grant you one wish, so you can say it!" At this moment, the Englishman said, "Can you speak English?" Dragon: Yes, I can. Then the dragon disappeared ... disappeared. When I was in high school, the head teacher was my uncle. I am afraid of him, so I don't expect anything at ordinary times! But because of youth and ignorance, it is inevitable that you will have a good impression on beautiful women! So I fell in love with a girl behind my uncle's back! Once in the evening self-study, the two of us took drugs and were late ... At that time, my heart was in my throat ... My uncle took a look at us and said, why are you two late? Stand in the corner and reflect, while other students study by themselves! Then he gave me a firm look when I went out. A rich man was walking his dog when a masked man came over and killed the dog with a bang. Why do rich people ask? The masked man said he was ordered to take your dog's life.

Holding a masked hand, the rich man said excitedly, who is your Chinese teacher? I gave it to him, 500 yuan. 10, the teacher asked Xiaoming, "There is a pit five meters deep in front of you, and there is no water in it. How do you get out when you jump in? " Xiao Ming: "It's not easy. If you let water come out of your head, it will float. " Teacher: "Is there so much water in your head?" Little Ming Dow: "I don't have that much water in my head. Why do I jump?" 1 1. A woman who just came to work slapped me, "You hit * * *!" "Bah, don't you know what you did in my dream last night?" Me.

12, teacher: "The White Snake and Xu Xian were married, and then the White Snake was crushed by Fahai under the Leifeng Tower. What does this story tell us? " Xiao Ming: "Don't mess with single dog, especially the elderly!" " 13. On the bus, an old man fell asleep and leaned on the back of a young man behind him. The young man acts as a "human cushion" and stands for 20 minutes until the old man gets off the bus.

The college student said in an interview: "I didn't think too much at that time, so I thought it was a girl behind." 14, one day, the goddess came home, and her father said to her: Don't always let men pay outside! Because after they bought a single order, they don't know how many instant noodles they will chew in the dormitory next! After hearing this, the goddess thought it was very reasonable and sent it to Weibo.

Then.

. Then I blacked out all the boys I liked.

15, you can stare at the boss as soon as you walk into the office and say, "You pervert! That's it, goodbye! " Then take off the Bluetooth headset and let them think you are on the phone. 16, true story. Yesterday, a friend asked me whose funeral he most wanted to attend. I thought about it and said: Your ex-girlfriend? He: No.

Me: Hit your class teacher? He: Not really. Me: Then who? He: Aoi sora.

Me: Why? He: Because today's stars will play his (her) masterpiece at the funeral after death! Me: … 17, Zhen Xuan: Today, I woke up with pain all over and felt very tired. I think it's because I had so much fun the other day. I think, if I continue to rest for these three days, smelling the flowers and bathing in the sunshine, I will be in a good mood, which is bound to be excellent for my work. Hua Fei: * * is melodramatic. If you don't want to go to work tomorrow, just say so. I hate this flattering photo of you! 18, a father-son conversation, son: "My mother still loves me, and you always hit me with a broom."

Father: "Does your mother love you? I hit you with a broom. Your mother used to hit you with Yuting! If I hadn't secretly changed it for you, you wouldn't know where to line up? " 19, I told a joke I saw the other day to my second-rate boyfriend, probably saying that I don't wear TT when I go abroad.

I accidentally turned over other people's used things on the ground. As a result, my daughter-in-law was pregnant and the child was not her own. Idiot boyfriend smiled and said: this idiot just saved the dying child.

20. One day I was chatting with my wife, and I told her: My aunt's dog fell into the river and drowned because of chasing a chicken. The wife said flatly: what a suck! Those who play with chickens come to no good end.

2 1. Last night, I had a quarrel with my boyfriend because of surfing the Internet. My boyfriend told my dad that my dad told me not to surf the Internet. I said I don't surf the Internet. My dad said, fuck her! 22. Today, I had dinner with my daughter-in-law. He ordered a bowl of fried rice with shrimp and beef. As soon as the meal came up, my daughter-in-law stir-fried in the bowl and picked a few prawns and threw them into my bowl. I was deeply moved, and the envy of several men next to me immediately made the landlord be elated and looked at her. My daughter-in-law looked at me and said, what are you looking at? Peel the shrimp for me! ... oh, my temper.

23. My colleague Xiao Duan and his girlfriend are getting married. I asked him what his plans were after he got married. He said he would go back to his hometown after marriage and live in the mountains for two years! I don't understand. When I asked him why, he paused for a moment and said, I want a child that really belongs to me ... 24. When I was a child, I listened to adults and didn't want to marry Pan Jinlian when I grew up. When I grew up, I discovered that Pan Jinlian was so good. Not only is he beautiful, but the key is that he has only slept with two men in his life.

Back to 20 16, looking around, I wiped my tears. There is no such woman as Pan Jinlian. 25. My personality is a little introverted. Usually I live alone in public places. In my circle of friends, in the company, I belong to that kind of unknown role. Last night, the company had a dinner and had a full meal.

Seeking connotation and yellow jokes

A reporter asked the landlord: "Excuse me, Mr. Landlord, if your wife and your mother fell into the water together, which one would you save first?" The bar friend wondered: Why do you ask such a question? Everyone is concerned about how the landlord answered the landlord, and definitely said "save my mother first!" " There was an uproar in the audience, and the landlord saw the doubts of friends in the bar and added, "My wife has left, so I can have one with my mother. "

Suddenly the applause thundered, and the landlord's wit touched all the bar friends present, and the applause lasted for a long time. Second, "Husband ..." Female * * * said to her husband with some bitterness: "I was fucked by my father-in-law when you went out to move bricks that day.

The woman's husband took a deep breath and said, "Never mind, he is not my real father. He became a father after he married my mother.

My own father is my grandfather and I am my father. "* * silk husband took one mouthful smoke, and then said:" in addition, your father is also a fake father.

I'm your father. "Say that finish, stroking the head of female * * *, infinite warmth enveloped two people.

Third, Gongsun Ce always licks his handwriting lightly after dancing and writing, and sometimes his lips are inevitably stained with ink. When Zhan Zhao first saw it, his expression was very strange.

"Mr. Gongsun, if Zhan has a problem, I wonder if he has made it right ..." "It doesn't hurt to show it to the doorman." "Did you just kiss Bao Gong?" "Shit."

One day, Tao Yuanming was in bed with his mother, and her mother asked, "Don't rush in yet. I asked you what it was like to be born out of your mother's stomach? " Tao Yuanming said; "There is water in the forest, and then there is a mountain with a small mouth, which seems to have light. Leave the ship and enter through the mouth.

Only by being narrow at first can we understand people. Take a few steps and you will be suddenly enlightened. "

His mother is ashamed of "dead, not serious, can't stand you singing wet." It's raining heavily outside, so go into the mountains to hide. "

-Memories of the Peach Blossom Garden in Taozuo the next day 5. Mr Cai takes his daughter to the shopping center. There were many people, but they got separated. Mr. Chen looked around and was very anxious. He heard the broadcast: "Brother Chuse, honey, your wife is waiting for you at the reception desk in 1 building. Please come after hearing the broadcast. " Mr Cai wants to know why this Xiong Haizi has the same name as his own. My daughter was waiting there when I went to the first floor. Ask him, "Why don't you tell Mr. Chase that your daughter is waiting for you on the first floor?" The daughter replied, "You damn fool, you have done everything, and you are afraid of being told?"

6. Xiaoming asked his father, "Dad, my daughter was my father's lover in her last life, right?" Dad: "Well, there is such a saying." Xiao Ming: "What about the son? Is it my mother's lover in a previous life? " Dad: "Ha ha, no, silly boy.

The son is gay friends of his father's previous life. "Said his father's eyes moist, leaned over and tiptoed around xiao Ming on the sofa.

Seeking connotation and yellow jokes

A reporter asked the landlord: "Excuse me, Mr. Landlord, if your wife and your mother fell into the water together, which one would you save first?" The bar friend wondered: Why do you ask such a question? Everyone is concerned about how the landlord answered the landlord, and definitely said "save my mother first!" " There was an uproar under the stage, and the landlord saw the doubts of the bar friends and added, "My wife has left, so I can have one with my mother." Suddenly the applause thundered, and the landlord's wit touched all the bar friends present, and the applause lasted for a long time.

Second, "Husband ..." Female * * * said to her husband with some bitterness: "I was fucked by my father-in-law when you went out to move bricks that day. The woman's husband took a deep breath and said, "Never mind, he is not my real father. He became a father after he married my mother. My father is my grandfather and I am my father. " Husband * * * took a drag on his cigarette and said, "Besides, your dad is also a fake dad. I am your father. " Say that finish, stroking the female * * * head, infinite warmth enveloped two people.

Third, Gongsun Ce always licks his handwriting lightly after dancing and writing, and sometimes his lips are inevitably stained with ink. When Zhan Zhao first saw it, his expression was very strange. "Mr. Gongsun, if Zhan has a problem, I wonder if he has made it right ..." "It doesn't hurt to show it to the doorman." "Did you just kiss Bao Gong?" "Shit."

One day, Tao Yuanming was in bed with his mother, and her mother asked, "Don't rush in yet. I asked you what it was like to be born out of your mother's stomach? " Tao Yuanming said; "There is water in the forest, and then there is a mountain with a small mouth, which seems to have light. Leave the ship and enter through the mouth. Only by being narrow at first can we understand people. The number of complex lines is ten steps, and it suddenly becomes clear. " His mother is ashamed of "dead, not serious, can't stand you singing wet." It's raining heavily outside, so go into the mountains to hide. "

-The next day, Tao Zao Peach Blossom Garden recorded it.

Mr Cai takes his daughter to the shopping center. There were a lot of people, and they got separated. Mr. Chen looked around and was very anxious. He heard the broadcast: "Brother Cai, honey, your wife is waiting for you at the reception desk in 1 building. Please come after hearing the broadcast. " Mr Cai wants to know why this Xiong Haizi has the same name as his own. My daughter was waiting there when I went to the first floor. Ask him, "Why don't you tell Mr. Chase that your daughter is waiting for you on the first floor?" The daughter replied, "You damn fool, you have done everything, and you are afraid of being told?"

6. Xiaoming asked his father, "Dad, my daughter was my father's lover in her last life, right?" Dad: "Well, there is such a saying." Xiao Ming: "What about the son? Is it my mother's lover in a previous life? " Dad: "Oh, no, silly boy. The son is gay friends in his father's previous life. " After that, my father's eyes were wet, so he leaned down and hugged Xiaoming affectionately on the sofa.

A few jokes with heavy taste connotation, you will win if you understand three, but you don't understand the first one.

1, this is a very warm joke:

Today, a girl who has a crush on me for a long time ran over and said, "You are good at math. Let me ask you a question. What is 1+9+0? "

I answered 10 without thinking. She ran away crying. Am I wrong?

2. A boy named Hanazono Sakura.

A girl named Xiaobei.

They became little boys after the rain.

I met a goddess who has been secretly in love for a long time at the entrance of the canteen today. The goddess smiled and handed me a note and went into the canteen.

I opened the note and saw the words "calcium, oxygen, tungsten and oxygen" written on it. I thought it was scribbled, so I threw it away. The more I think about it at night, the more wrong it is. Now my intestines are regretful ...

Ask for a dirty and wet sentence.

1. I'm willing to make you a cow, a horse and a sheep, and don't want any more. You just have to give it to * * *.

2. People are nice to you just to sleep with you. Unlike me, my sofa, living room, balcony and kitchen are all ok. I am a very practical person, and I only believe that love grows with time.

It feels good not to wear a condom, but it's not safe. My last mobile phone was so broken! After the wedding night, the bride struggled to hold the wall out and scolded: "liar, before getting married, he said he had savings for more than 30 years, and I thought it was money!" " ! "6. Don't talk to me all the time. Talking to me will make you * * *? Talking about a dirty space.

7. I went swimming in the reservoir yesterday and my leg cramped and I almost drowned. Fortunately, my girlfriend saved me. If I hadn't cheered her up in the morning, we would have really become desperate mandarin ducks ... 8. The so-called growth is to hear the word "choppy" and never think about the sea again. 9. When I was 8 years old, an uncle dragged me into the house and hurt my body with that disgusting thing, regardless of my feelings. After a while, he also let the liquid flow in, and then my legs trembled and I pulled my pants up. I swear, I will never give an injection again.

10. "What did he do to make you like him so much! ? "I" 1 1. The spring breeze is ten miles, so I'd better sleep with you. 12. Woman: Your ass is too hard.

Man: There is too much water under you. Facts have proved that it is not easy to cook a pot of noodles well.

13. My fists and ass are only hard for you, and your eyes and ass are only wet for me. 14. One day, everyone got together to chat and talked about their interests. One person said, "I like cleanliness."

Suddenly, I said, "Who is clean?" Another man said, "Who is it?" 15. The best evaluation of women is not that you are really beautiful or sexy, but that I am hard. Tell me about the whole book in the latest space.

16. Chatting with a female classmate, I asked, what are you doing? A: "What are you waiting for now?" Q: "What is your reading time?" 17. Once upon a time, there was a man named Ding Ding who was short and went to learn Latin dance.

18. One night, my prospective girlfriend and I were lying on the lawn. I pointed to the ground and asked her, honey, what do you think this is? The prospective girlfriend said, this is grass! Me: Do you like grass? Prospective girlfriend: I like grass best! And then ... we'll confirm the relationship! 19. Before, I just wanted to watch the stars and the moon with you. Now I just want you to get up.

20. The teacher said, "Students, don't fall in love early. What you say now will be someone else's wife in the future. " As soon as I hear it, * * *, someone else's wife, just think about it.

2 1. You know my depth and I know your length. 22. I stole roses and copied love letters, but I really want to fuck you.

23. the Monkey King: "Sister-in-law, I am here with you." Princess Iron Fan: "Uncle, come out ~ ah ~ ah ~" the Monkey King: "Sister-in-law, I'm coming out. Open your mouth. "

Princess Iron Fan: Ah ~ ~ 24. I miss not swearing. What I miss is trembling together. 25. I can't say anything good about you, just want to see you take a bath.

26. Question: What is a man's tongue for? Answer: teasing. 27. When my ex-girlfriend bought me a drink when she got married, I always felt that I should do something. When I toasted, I said to the groom, "The bride is beautiful, so I'll do it first."

Is there anything beyond the most subtle and dirty words I have ever seen?

People who love to watch dirty jokes can't describe them at ordinary times. They like this kind of jokes to fill their inner emptiness.

The following is the connotation of learning, and I have sorted it out for you. I hope you like it. 1. The farmer's cow died and he cried sadly.

A fairy saw it and comforted him, saying, "If you can do it with me once, I will help you save your cow." The farmer agreed, and they did it more than a hundred times at once.

The fairy was very satisfied and praised, "How can you be so powerful!" " "The farmer replied," I'm not good, how can my cow die! ""2. A buddy sang a song in front of his wife, who beat him up. Feel the lyrics: "in my family, there is a cool person who is invulnerable." Her thighs are a little thick and she walked in the earthquake.

Wife, wife, where are we going? With you around, we are not afraid of anything. Baby, baby, I'm your big tree. You are too fat. I can't hide! On the bus this morning, a child asked his mother, "Why did mother fight with father last night?" Mom looked at him and said, "Don't talk nonsense. Dad and I didn't fight."

The boy thought for a moment and said, "You are lying. The fights on TV all say there will be 300 rounds of fighting. I heard my father tell you last night that there will be 300 rounds of battles and 300 battles tonight ... "4. It makes sense for Italians to be handsome, otherwise, it will be an account for the IQ of three waiters who didn't get it right. If they were not all as beautiful as the people in the painting, they would have been killed long ago.

And because they are beautiful, they make mistakes and smile shyly at you, you will think it is not a waste of time.

A few yellow jokes can only be seen by old drivers.

1. Last time five of us went on a roller coaster, but the other four were afraid to ride. In order not to waste, both employers and employees took it five times! Five times! If I hadn't been sent to the ambulance, I could have sat all day.

2. A sister loves menstruation, and her mother cooked brown sugar water to drink. It still hurts after drinking, so climb on the bed and twist.

Then her mother said, I gave you sugar water, not realgar wine. What do you want to do now? ! Dear mother ... 3. I didn't like eating when I was a child, which led to my short stature now; Eating now makes me fat and short. 4. "I can't find a topic after chatting with the girl I like for more than ten minutes, so I have to look at each other affectionately. What should I do? "

God replied, "women look at you affectionately, and you are still looking for a topic." It's really worse than an animal. "

A slightly longer dirty paragraph, the dirtier the better.

Once upon a time, there was a king who had a little daughter. The king loved her very much.

But this daughter has a strange disease, that is, everything she touches with her hands will melt, which makes the king anxious. She has visited famous doctors all over the country, but no doctor can cure the little boy's illness. On this day, an old beggar came to the palace and told the king that the princess was not sick, but was enchanted.

You need to find something. As long as the princess doesn't melt after touching, the princess's magic will be lifted. As soon as the king heard this, he immediately issued a national notice, saying that whoever can find something that the little princess can't touch will marry him.

Hearing this, everyone came to the palace and took out what they thought was the hardest thing, but whatever it was, the princess melted at the touch. At this time, an ugly young man came to the princess and said that there was something in his trouser pocket, which would definitely not melt after the princess touched it. I hope the princess can reach into his pants pocket and feel it.

When the princess heard this, she carefully put her hand into the young man's pocket. Suddenly, the princess's hand touched something hard and her face turned red. She took it out quickly. But the things in the young man's trousers did not melt, and the old king married the princess to the young man as promised.

So is there anything hard in the boy's pants that makes the princess blush, and it hasn't melted yet? Dove chocolate only dissolves in the mouth, not in the hand.

The dirty jokes came in a hurry.

There is a kind of bird in this world. It has no feet and has been working since it was born. The working environment is very humid, so I often wear a mask! My whole body is tense, and I have to work until I foam at the mouth every time! Guess what "bird" this is? I have a difficult idea and a tricky suggestion.

There is also a wet process and a soft ending. I really want to hold your dash, touch your colon, kiss your full stop, hold my exclamation point, pass through your brackets and leave a string of ellipsis inside.

1. Are you hungry? I'll give you something to eat. Let me interrupt. Being my girlfriend will definitely like seafood. I just want to do four things with you, three meals a day. I have a big hormone that I want to put in. I just can't get in. Be good ~, 7. My arm is pressing down. And a person who loves to fuck you, well, you need me, 10. Be my little princess, eat only * * * without suffering, 1 1. I like the way you are coy, and I like the way you concentrate inside and out. 12. Have a chance to sleep together, 65438.