Ask 6. 1 children's day funny sketch

Xiaoling: Xiaoli, didn't you feel anything wrong in class today?

Xiaoli: No, why? There's nothing wrong with that.

Xiaoling: I mean Xiao Lei, he. ...

Xiaoli: Oh! By the way, since you mentioned it, I remember something was wrong with Xiao Lei today. He usually studies hard, but he always doesn't listen carefully in class today. I don't know what's wrong with him.

Xiaoling: Yes! I asked him, but he didn't say anything, did he? ...

Xiaoli: Cough! There must be something wrong with him.

Xiaoling: But … what's wrong with him?

Xiaoli: Why don't we ask him later?

Xiaoling: No! Just ask Xiao Hu. They are neighbors and usually close. He must know, yo, they're coming.

Tiger and Xiao Lei get on the bus, Xiaoling and Xiaoli hide behind the card.

Tiger: Come on, Lei Lei, cheer up. What's the problem? just ...

(Xiao Lei stops Xiao Hu)

Xiao Lei: Tiger, will you stop talking so loudly? I beg you, didn't you promise to keep it a secret?

Tiger: But … what are you going to do?

Xiao Lei: Hey, I can't help it. I hope I can grow up quickly, so that I can ... ahem! Stop it and let's go!

Tiger: Wait, Xiao Lei, hurry up! Sit down. Look, my father just bought me a Transformers. Can I lend it to you to play? come ..

Xiao Lei: No ... I don't play.

Tiger: Then let's go to my house and play computer games. Hey, my mother just bought me a set of "Three Kingdoms" game, which is quite fun.

Xiao Lei: I'd better not go, Tiger. Sometimes I really envy you.

Tiger: Sorry, Xiao Lei.

(Xiaoling and Xiaoli come out from behind the sign)

Xiao Li: Xiao Lei and Xiao Hu.

Tiger: Why are you here?

Xiaoling: We are waiting for you.

Tiger: Wait for us?

Xiaoli: Yes! Xiao Lei, what happened to your class today? What happened at home?

Tiger: Their family. ...

Xiao Lei: Tiger!

Tiger: Their home is very good, very good.

Xiaoling: No! Xiao Lei and Xiao Hu, we all heard what you just said. There must be something wrong with the family in Xiao Lei! Say it, and all of us will help you!

Xiao Lei: No! Xiaoling, our family is fine, thank you. Tiger, let's go.

Xiaoli: Stop! Xiao Lei, you used to study hard, but recently you've always been absent-minded. I see you play with Xiao Hu all day. He is not good to you.

Tiger: Me ...

Xiao Lei: No! It's not the tiger's fault, it's mine.

Xiaoling: How are you wrong?

Xiao Lei: Me. ...

Xiaoli: Look at the two of them prevaricating. They certainly didn't do anything good!

Tiger: You talk nonsense! This is Xiao Lei's family. ...

Xiao Lei: Tiger!

Tiger: Don't stop me. You'll suffocate me if you don't tell me! Xiaoling, Xiaoli and Xiao Lei's parents are all laid off, and life is very difficult. A few days ago, his mother fell ill and stayed in the hospital for a week. They need surgery now, and their family can't afford it. Xiao Lei's father can't borrow money everywhere. Xiao Lei is worried about his father!

Xiaoling and Xiaoli: Well. ...

Tiger: You don't know, Xiao Lei has been in hospital for two nights. It's good that he still insists on coming to school during the day. At this rate, I'm afraid I won't be able to pay the tuition in Xiao Lei next semester!

Xiaoling: Xiao Lei, why didn't you say so earlier?

Tiger: Xiao Lei is afraid that his classmates will laugh at him!

Xiaoli: How is that possible? Xiao Lei, don't worry, we will help you. There's nothing shameful about parents being laid off! My mother is also a laid-off worker, and our family has opened a restaurant, which makes more money than before. besides ...

Xiao Lei: OK! Students, you understand everything. I should go, too. I have to go to the hospital!

Xiaoling: Wait! Xiao Lei, you still can't help it. Tell you what! I have ten dollars my mother gave me. You can use it first!

Xiaoli: Yes! I still have 20 dollars here.

Tiger: Yes! Why didn't I think of that? Xiao Lei, my grandfather gave it to me. You can have a hundred.

Xiao Lei: Students, I can't take this money.

Xiaoling: Just take it!

Xiaoli: Yes! Even if you borrow ours, don't you pay it back later?

Tiger: Go! Borrow what? This is called sponsorship. Xiao Lei, I'll ask my father to help me again when I get back. He listens to my mother, and my mother listens to me!

Xiaoling: Xiao Lei, take it! I will report it to the teacher tomorrow. We will mobilize all the teachers and students to donate money for you. Anyway, you have to operate on your mother first! Xiao Lei, take it!

Xiao Li and Xiao Hu: Yes! Xiao Lei, take it! Ah! (Music begins)

Xiao Lei: Thank you, students! Thank you! (with a deep bow)

Freshman: "I am a # # freshman, 19 years, unmarried. I, a very talented person, have great momentum. I know everything from astronomy to geography. I suddenly heard today that # # college students want to recruit new students as cadres. I was not interested in being an official at first, but I heard that being a student union cadre is quite imposing. Go and have a look! "

(shaking to the student union)

Freshman: "Hey? There is a girls' department in the student union? I wonder if this department is closely related to mm? "

Female cadre: "What can this classmate do for you? I am the Minister of Female Student Affairs of the Student Union. "

Freshman: "(whispering) Wow! The girls' department really hides beautiful women. Hey, big sister, I'm here to apply for the position of student union cadre. "

Female cadre: "Oh, welcome, which department do you want to apply for?"

Freshman: "this ... hey!" Only your girls' department! "

Female cadres: "Ah? But our girls' department has not received male cadres yet. Because a lot of work in our department is centered on girls, all in order to let girls have a better study and living environment, you are a boy ... "

Freshman (crazy, suddenly want to open): "Sister, this statement is poor!" " There was Shang Yang's political reform in ancient times, but now a plane crashed into the Pentagon of the United States. There are exceptions to everything, and everything is innovative. I always care about girls in every way. Girls' problems are my problems, and girls' troubles are my troubles, big sister! For the happiness of thousands of girls in Qian Qian University, please let me join the women's department ... "(kneeling on one knee)

Female cadre: "... OK, OK, OK, I'll take you there, and our department will make an exception and accept you as a male cadre." Then you come with me now to solve an urgent girl problem ... "

Freshman: "Oh? What's the problem? "

Female cadre _: "Alas, although we girls usually love to joke, sometimes there are some minor contradictions. Two girls in six 7 10 buildings are quarreling over a trifle now, which is not true ... "

Freshman: "Hey, isn't it just girls quarreling?" I want to solve it ... "

Female cadre: "Wait ... you don't know. Our girls' problems are small and big. If you don't handle it well, they may ... "

Freshman (scared): "What will happen ..."

Female cadres: "Grasp the hair (new students cooperate with holding their heads), hook their nostrils (cover their noses), and tear their clothes ..."

Freshman: "(hands blocking chest) Wow! Indecent assault! ! "

Female cadres: "Are you afraid?"

Freshman: "Ah ... no, no ... this dress of mine belongs to Metersbonwe Bang Wei Bang Wei. Leave this problem to you girls to solve! " ! I'll go first ... "

Female cadres: "Hey! Don't go! We girls need you ... "

Freshman: "These girls are really troublesome! Forget it, go to other departments. "

Veteran cadres: "Alas ..."

Freshman: "Hey? Why does this big brother sigh? Is it also for girls? "

Veteran cadres: "Oh! No, no, I'm the Minister of Labor and Health. It has always been our unshirkable responsibility to let everyone live in an elegant campus, study in a bright and clean classroom and rest in a clean dormitory. Excuse me, are you ... "

Freshman: "I've heard a lot about the Ministry of Labor and Health. My younger brother is here to apply for the post of cadre of the Ministry of Labor and Health today ..."

Veteran cadres: "Good! You come with me at once! "

Freshman: "Go? Where to go? "

Veteran cadres: "canteen!"

Freshman: "(excited) canteen! (whispering) Oh, the Ministry of Labor and Health is the Ministry of Labor and Health! Talk about everything at the dinner table! What a style! Big brother! I am on your side. But? It seems that it's not time for dinner yet. What about the future? "

Old minister: "Alas, where is the rice?" ! We will reflect our opinions on the canteen to the students. "

Freshman: "What do you think?"

Old minister: "You are a freshman, so you may not have noticed. I ask you, when you go to the canteen to cook, do you find that when the waiter scratches your rice or food, your hands always shake like this ... "

Freshman: "Well ... it seems that there is such a thing."

Old minister: "That's right. Every time she shivers, she loses ... a piece or two of meat. "

Freshman: "Ah? Isn't it just one or two pieces of meat? "

Old minister: "classmates! You don't understand this! Each of us lacks one or two pieces of meat, and thousands of our students add up to a fat pig! "

Freshman: "Oh, sorry, I'm not good at bargaining. You'd better go by yourself ... "

Old minister: "Hey! Why don't you go? Classmate ... "

Freshman: "The Ministry of Labor and Health used to be a group of cheapskates! It doesn't matter if this department doesn't make progress. Huh? The man in front of me has extraordinary masculinity and must have some connections! This hero, Xiao Sheng, met. "

Minister Zhi: "Oh, I'm Minister Wei. It seems to be a freshman? " Our security department is the security department of the cooperative college, doing a good job in school security. Do you need any help? "

Freshman: "No, no, I, I want to apply for the cadre of the medical insurance department ..."

(The phone suddenly rings)

Minister Zhi: "Oh, wait a minute, I'll take a call. Hello? Yes, this is the medical department. What happened? (Curious freshman, sneaking up to listen to the content) What? There are two drug dealers in our city? Nine deaths and one injury have been caused on the way! (The freshman looks surprised) What? Probably hiding in our school! ! (Freshman looks stiff) Ok, please inform other departments, I ... Oh, I just recruited a new cadre here, call him right away! (The freshmen run away in a panic) Wait a minute. How did the Yi people disappear .. "

Freshman: "(Angry) That was close! That was close! I didn't expect it would be dangerous to join the medical department ... (seeing a boy walk into the student union) classmate! Classmate! Do you want to apply for a student union cadre like me? I advise you not to go! The student union is full of weirdos, either bitchy or stingy, and their lives are worrying! ! Listen to me, don't go! Don't go! "

Chairman: "Hello, this classmate, I am the chairman of this student union ..."

Freshman: "Ah Lord ... Chairman"

PRESIDENT: "What you just said is absolutely right. What our student union cadres do is really hard, but as long as we can serve the students and help them, we will do it no matter how hard and tired we are! " If you are just addicted to official business and afraid of hard work, I advise you not to join the student union. "

Freshman: "... Chairman, you are quite right. Compared with other cadres just now, I found myself selfish and insignificant. Be sure to correct it when you go back and learn from them! (Affectionate) There were n opportunities for me to join the student union, but I didn't cherish it. If God gives me another chance, I will definitely apply for the job-Student Union President Department! ! "

Chairman: "…" (stunned)

A: As a crosstalk performer, you should master rich cultural knowledge.

B: well, you can't do it without studying.

A: Only in this way can we create better works and serve everyone.

That's true.

A: In fact, it is not difficult to judge whether a person has knowledge. The audience can tell when they stand on the stage!

Really?

A: Look at the learned actors. They speak so elegantly.

What about uneducated people?

A: It's impolite to speak! A learned man stands on the stage with a radiant face!

What about uneducated people?

As timid as a mouse, as sharp as a monkey! Learned people talk and laugh, and they are graceful!

What about uneducated people?

A: I am stunned! Move your five senses! Learned people stand in my position as soon as they come to power.

What about uneducated people?

A: You don't have to worry about him as soon as you come on stage. You just walked to the left!

Me? Your mouth is really dirty!

Just kidding. Seriously, what's your cultural level?

B: Graduated from high school.

High-how dare you!

B: What's the matter?

A: After graduating from high school, do you dare to cross talk in front of such people?

B: What are you afraid of?

A: Aren't you afraid that the audience will ask you questions and knock you down?

B: I'm not bragging to you. No one has puzzled me since the day I said cross talk!

A: Wow! The little frog has a great tone!

You are a toad! This is how to speak!

A: You dare to say such crazy things after graduating from high school? Even I, a college graduate, dare not say so!

B: Wait a minute! Just to be clear. What graduation ceremony?

A: University!

B: You-went to college?

A: Serious and famous college students!

Which school?

A: Chinese Department of Peking University.

What have you learned?

A: To tell you the truth, famous works, poems, essays, Song Ci and Yuan Qu at all times and all over the world have been studied by anyone who has anything to do with literature!

B: May I have your name, Mr. Niu Niu?

A: Is there such a problem?

B: I think you are awesome!

What is a cow? Seek truth from facts! I liked Chinese when I was in primary school!

Let me put it this way. I liked reading novels when I was in kindergarten!

A: I can recite Tang poems in a moment!

B: You can write couplets as soon as you catch them!

A: I can speak my mind as soon as I was born!

B: I was able to write the Three Kingdoms from memory before I was born! _ _ _ _ Anyway, let's blow! There is no punishment for lying!

A: It seems that you have doubts about my graduation from college?

B: I don't doubt it. I don't believe it at all! If you are really knowledgeable, how about playing a word game in front of the audience?

Let me hear how to do it.

B: Can we use the thimble for a while?

A: The thimble can't come.

Then what can you do?

Answer: Take the sole!

Where did you graduate from college? Don't even understand this?

Please explain.

B: To put it bluntly, thimble is the beginning and the end! In other words, the first word of the next sentence must be followed by the last word of the next sentence, you know?

A: That's called end-to-end! What does it have to do with wadding hemp rope? How else to say graduation from high school! Talking is low-level! All right! Tell me, which word shall we start with?

B: Let's start with "one heart and one mind". You start with the word German, sentence by sentence, without stopping in the middle, on one condition.

A: What conditions?

B: Anyway, it must be the phrase "realize the four modernizations". Is it okay?

Sir, this is too insignificant for a college graduate!

B: Don't be so confident yet.

A: That's good. I have to make one condition.

B: What conditions?

A: You should allow me to have different voices when you answer.

B: Yes!

Let's get started. The first sentence you just said was _ _ _

B: One heart and one mind!

A: Then I'll take it from the Germans. Virtue-having both ability and political integrity!

B: For _ _ _

Prepare-prepare for famine.

B: What time is it? Drought _ _ _

A: There are barren hills and barren hills.

B: gang _ _ _

A: Job responsibilities.

B: Ren.

A: There is a long way to go.

B: Far _ _ _

A: As we all know.

B: name

A: Former residence of celebrities.

B: Home _ _ _

A household name.

B: Xiao.

A: See the big from the small.

B: Da _ _ _

A: Show your talents.

B: Hand _ _ _

A: First and foremost!

B: Chong _ _ _

A: The charge was at the scene.

B: array _ _ _

A: Revitalize China.

B: Hua _ _ _ _

A: Humorous.

B: Mo _ _ _

A: Silent and affectionate.

B: Love _ _ _

A: Deep in the ocean.

B: Sea.

The sea is flowing.

B: Flow _ _ _

A: It will last forever.

B: the world _ _

A: Everything depends on human effort.

B: It's _ _ _

A: Not far.

B: Far _ _ _

A: Forethought.

Know _ _ _

Realize the four modernizations! & lt excitedly > We graduated from college! Applause! & lt takes the lead in applauding >

B: don't-don't clap! You've all been fooled! What a wonderful university graduation! I spent a lot of time with him. I don't know him better than you? Just a few words, he memorized at home for two weeks! I am familiar with it and recite it fluently. What's wrong with running here?

Who's in trouble? This is our level!

B: It's really good. I'll give you a word. Can we go around "realizing the four modernizations"?

A: No problem! Feel free to mention!

B: Try to be brief, and don't exceed 80 sentences! Even a fool can do anything around chivalry.

A: OK! Keep it short! You are welcome!

B: Zhao _ _-Zhao!

Zhao: The shorter the better?

B: The shorter the better!

I know the word Zhao-Zhao. Realize the four modernizations!

B: Just a word! No, it doesn't count! Change one, money _ _ _

A: I know the word money-money, realize the four modernizations!

B: Sun _ _ _

I know Sun Tzu and realize the four modernizations! !

B: Again, I'm in a hurry with you! What words do you know? Don't say that! Li _ _ _ _ A: I don't know Li Zier, so that we can realize the four modernizations!

B: Let's go! ! What's wrong with making trouble!

What a chewy guy! You don't have to know each other, but you have to know each other! Ok, ok, you mention it again!

B: I can't mention it any more.

A: Why?

B: We are putting on a show, and people will suspect that I talked to you beforehand. If you are really capable, let the audience casually mention a word, and you can wrap it around "realizing the four modernizations". I am at your service!

A: did the audience mention the words? What a terrible idea!

Didn't you graduate from college? Audience friends, who will send him a message? Don't be polite to him! If you mention it, it's hard, hard to identify, and it's best not to find it in Kangxi dictionary!

& lt The audience can mention a word at will >

B: x? Great! Come on! They said, x!

Can we change it?

B: No way! This is it! x！

A: X-We graduated from university! Isn't this an x?

B: Say it!

A: -X is not difficult!

B: Difficult _ _ _

A: Anti-North!

War _ _ _

A: The battle can be won!

Won _ _ _

A: Victory gongs and drums.

B: drums

A: Throughout the ages.

B: Come _ _ _

A: It's very rare.

B: Easy.

A: Full of energy.

B: send _ _ _

A: It is thought-provoking.

B: province

A: Save it-blow your nose.

You should be punished! Cry _ _ _

A: Help heaven!

B: Dao _ _ _

A: Ancient fairy wind.

B: The wind _ _ _

A: Harvest gongs and drums.

B: drums

A: Throughout the ages-why are you running around again?

B: Then who are you asking? Come _ _ _

A: Come-come, go-go.

Pulse beat

A: The pulse beats and jumps.

B: move _ _ _

Touching deeds.

B: tracking _ _ _

A: Carry forward the past and forge ahead-come on.

B: Ha ha! You have been here three times in such a short time! Come to _ _ _

A: Hurry up-hurry up-it will be bad luck!

very good

A: Good people don't-come.

B: If you "come" today, you can't go around! Come _ _ _

A: Hurry up, there's still plenty of time!

B: long _ _ _

A: Long live!

B: Laos _ _ _

A: The older you get, the stronger you get.

village

A: Top gun.

B: clouds

A: The clouds are glowing.

B: from _ _ _

A: Newborn calves are not afraid of tigers.

B: Tiger _ _ _

The tiger is in the dragon's plate.

B: disk _ _ _

A: This is intertwined.

B: Section _ _ _

A: First come, first served.

B: the board of directors

A: Reach the peak.

B: Very _ _ _

A: Brainstorm.

Discuss _ _ _

A: A stronger will.

B: Jane _ _

Rock-solid.

B: Stone.

Realize the four modernizations! & lt jumps up > We graduated from college! !

What do you have to see? ! How long have you been here? So who wouldn't?

What do you mean?

B: there must be a time limit! No more than 30 seconds! It takes more than 30 seconds to win!

A: How many seconds?

B: Thirty seconds!

A: You look down on people! It took me 30 seconds at my college graduation level?

B: How long will it take you?

A: Ten seconds!

B: Ten seconds?

A: If you don't believe me, we invite the audience to be a witness on the spot. From the first word I said, everyone began to pinch their watches. In less than ten seconds, I can't get around the phrase "realizing the four modernizations".

B: How about that?

You broke your watch!

B: Ah! ?

A: I'll change it for you!

B: No need! Now start to mention words!

& lt The audience casually mentions a word >

B: X____ _ _

Please start the clock! X is really good!

B: OK.

A: Mind your own business.

B: _ _ _

You know everything.

B: Say _ _ _

A: It's too exaggerated.

B: Really _ _ _

Realize the four modernizations! & lt jumped up and raised his arm > We graduated from college! !

B: Stop dancing!