A complete collection of humorous and provocative routines

1 and July, I will study hard and make progress every day. I will never play with my mobile phone or fall in love. If not, I'll send it in August. 2. I ate a drawer of steamed buns in one breath. The key is that I didn't sell half a drawer. I feel that I want to awaken the power of the wild in my body! It's really beautiful to watch the heroine's head leaning against the bus glass in Korean drama. I've tried, and I hardly shake into a brain, shaking and swaying. I'm not the kind of cute person who has to think for a long time for fifty dollars. Now I have to think about it for five dollars. Don't say that I am your baby, I am your only one, and I am your most important person. Silly boy, I'm your father. 6. When you feel ugly, poor and useless, don't despair, because at least your judgment is right. 7, ancient times are really good, too much pressure will turn into a demon, a demon, a god. In modern times, if you suffer too much, you will become a psychopath. 8. When you ignore me, you are depressed and want to go to the barber shop to dye your colorful hair and be a happy horse with mud. 9. Some people even say that I wear eye shadow, which insults my dark circles. School will start soon, so don't rush your homework. 10, junior high school children are so naive, do you think this is a holiday? This is called three years' imprisonment and two months' probation 1 1. My deskmate's pen fell at my feet and told me to pick it up. I silently picked it up and threw it where he could get it. 12. Hire two children on Tanabata. When you meet a man, call him dad. When you meet a woman, call your mother. If you can tell a pair, it's a pair. 13, it is said that the Tang Priest in Journey to the West was so comfortable that he didn't have to take a bath by himself. Every two episodes, a monster says, Boys, wash that monk for me. 14, "You never know a child's ugliness unless you hold his hand. Drag the child away, but the child saysno. " All right! Close the door and let the dog go! 15, Goddess Zhao, you are a natural beauty. There must be a cooler and more arrogant real man who has a crush on you. Would you please be kind enough to spare our wolf cubs? 16, the newborn baby still has a heart rate monitor. My nephew, an elderly man, looked at it for a while and asked faintly, "How long does it take for my brother to charge once?" 17, What Christmas present do you want, I want a unicorn, Be realistic, Then I want a boyfriend, What color does the unicorn want 18, I throw coins into the air-if I face up, I will go to the bbs, and if my back is up, I will go to QQ; If the coin stands up, I will teach myself ~ 19. For a road idiot, the most precious thing is that you stand still and I'll pick you up. 20. Being single is very painful. Being single for a long time is more painful. I saw a wild boar a few days ago. I think its eyes are very good. I'm tired of being a lovely girl, and suddenly I want to be your wife. There have been rumors recently that I like you. I want to clarify that this is not a rumor. I can recognize you at a glance among thousands of people, because others are walking on the road and you are walking on my heart. 4. You look like a person. Like who? Like my future girlfriend. If you go to a place, there are no doors or windows. Don't worry, you are in my heart. 6. Yes, I just like you, and I love you hopelessly. What's the matter? You like me if you don't agree. 7. Can you swim? No. So you need to study? Because we are going to fall in love! 8. Let me ask you a question. Do you know what the luckiest door in the world is? Heart door? No, it was us. 9. Let me tell you a secret. Actually, I have super powers ... I like you very much! Humorous and provocative routines 3 1, give you a magic trick, what makes you like you super 2, tell you a long story, so I'll make a long story short, I miss you. 3. Nice to meet you. Looking up, I found it was moonlight, so I bowed my head and kissed me. 5. Cute is not a long-term solution. Lovely me is the long-term solution. 6. You eat. You look so cute. Have you practiced? 7. Will you like me? No, I'll teach you. 8. What's your birthday? Why did I tell you that I forgot my password? 9. What do you belong to? You belong to me 10. You were in my heart when you were thin. When you are fat, you get stuck. 1 1. What do you belong to? You belong to me 12. Why are you so vulgar and always taking selfies? My hands are sore after reading it several times. 13, why are you by my side? I am still in my world. 14, what season do you like? I like the season with you. 15, what won't you do? I won't leave you. 16, you are so cute that I won't go back when the wind blows into my arms. 17, do you know the difference between you and a monkey? Monkeys live in trees, and you live in my heart 18. Take my hand and close your eyes, and you won't get lost. 19, do you have a girlfriend? No, well, now you have it. 20. If your ex-girlfriend and current girlfriend fall into the water at the same time, can I be your girlfriend? 2 1, I hate you very much, and the remaining 990 points are used to miss you. 22. There are 100 sweet ways, eating sugar and cake, thinking of you 98 times! ! 23. I found that you are a liar, because I look much better than in the photo. 24. I like you. Do you want to consider liking me? 25. I really like everyone. I don't like you very much. 27. I recently started catching a cold in the morning and evening, and I need to hide in your arms. 28. "I will get back together with my ex-girlfriend after breaking up with you." "Why?" Because you are my ex-girlfriend after the breakup. "Will you find a mistress after marriage?" "Not if your wife were you." "What if it wasn't me?" "That's you" 30. Do you feel heavy behind my back? You think the whole world is on your back? 3 1. Your sense of existence is like air. Really? I can't live without you. 32. What does the person you like look like? Go home and see yourself in the mirror. I'll tell you how to lose two pounds in a week. "Well, how to reduce it?" "Put your heart on me." Shall we learn to swim together? Yes, so that we can love each other. I have put up with you for a long time. "Hey, what are you going to do?" "Endure you all your life." I want to lose weight. They are all thinner than me. I like you, but I don't like them. 37. What's left of the husband, wife and son's family of three? Wife, alas, here it is. 38. Since I met you, I feel that life is too short. Why? Because the sweet part is very long.