The child was beaten and didn't know how to fight back. How should parents educate them?

This has always been a difficult question to answer. Tell the kids to fight back? Children who are afraid of teaching are too violent! Tell the children to avoid each other? I'm afraid the children I teach are too weak! The same thing happened to my children.

No matter whether the child is beaten or not, such news will make the mother's heart tense. What is the reason for doing it? After the beating incident, how to communicate with teachers, children and even the parents of the other child? Let's hear what an experienced teacher has to say! No matter what your first reaction is, please put away all your emotions and tell yourself: no matter what happens, hitting people is wrong!

First of all, parents should not panic. This is a necessary process for children. Don't label him because he doesn't fight back and make some negative comments on him. When encountering problems, the child is already very wronged and sad. Parents should first explore the encouraging part of their children: the baby didn't fight back because he knew it was wrong to hit people. Mom told you not to hit people before. You remember it very well! What a good boy! Then, try to understand the child's feelings: honey, when he hits you, you must be particularly uncomfortable. Do you want to talk to your mother? It's okay if you don't want to talk, mom. Let's guess. You must think, how can you hit someone? Mom says it's wrong to hit people! You still feel sad. Your classmate should be good friends, but he hit you, didn't he? Finally, tell the child how to deal with it and demonstrate: Son, you have done nothing wrong, even if someone will hit someone, it is really bad to take the initiative to hit someone. Mom wants to teach you how to protect yourself. Next time he wants to hit you again, you shout loudly, hitting people is wrong! You did it wrong! Or when he tries to arrest you, you just push him to run, and then ask the teacher to tell him not to hit anyone, remember? Let's practice, shall we?

Communication skills with teachers

Usually, the teacher will choose a relatively quiet time to leave her mother alone and talk about how communication is more valuable. The following suggestions can help you. First of all, reach an understanding with the teacher-it is wrong to hit people for whatever reason. It is the teacher's duty to look after the children. So the teacher will be partly responsible for the beating. But everything is not 100% certain, so it is better to express my apologies and thanks to the teacher, because after the incident, the teacher needs to help the two children calm down and learn how to deal with it, and it is not easy to explain it clearly to both parents. Listening to the teacher's description of the incident and the child with a trusting attitude, on the one hand, can learn more details and attitudes in order to communicate with the child, on the other hand, it is also an opportunity to understand the real state of the child in kindergarten and the teacher's guidance methods. Discuss with the teacher the opportunities and ways to communicate with the children about this matter. If the other child is injured, ask the teacher if it is necessary to communicate directly with the other parent to help the teacher deal with the follow-up problems. The teacher will grasp the discretion according to the parents' situation, and your attitude can enhance the trust between you and the teacher.

Don't criticize the communication skills with children as soon as you start. Once the child has a resistance, it is difficult to communicate effectively in the later period. Listening to children tell stories, not confirming details and right and wrong. It is important to observe children's emotions and accept them. Children below the middle class may not be able to tell what happened, so this step can be removed. Children will be willing to listen to you if they are recognized. At this time, you can provide your solution according to your child's deepest memory of this matter. Finally, it ended in a relaxed atmosphere, telling the children that it was just a small matter and the past was over. Let's do something with our child that he likes. Children are actually under a lot of pressure.

The reason why children always beat people; 1~2-year-old children do some beating behavior, parents should not stop it just because they feel funny, and even encourage them in disguise by laughing and exaggerating. In that case, children will think this is a game, and it may not be easy to get rid of it after becoming a habit. The correct way to deal with it should be to tell the child clearly: You just hurt me and I don't like it. Parents should have a clear attitude on different issues. For example, the severity of hitting people and not washing hands before meals should be different. If parents often beat their children when they make mistakes, they will think that beating is the solution to the problem. If parents and family members often have physical conflicts, children will imitate them. Do children get enough attention at home? Is the connection with parents not close enough? If children accumulate too many negative emotions, they are easily angered. Have there been any changes at home recently? Such as the death of a loved one, moving, and the death of a pet? Children's nervousness and loss may be reflected in extreme ways. At this time, we should pay more attention to the children's emotions.

The child didn't fight back when he was beaten, but just cried. It's not that we were wrong in education, but that we didn't teach him all well.

The child who was beaten only cried and didn't know how to fight back. This needs teaching. There is a word in psychology called "social quotient", which refers to people's ability to manage interpersonal relationships. This ability needs to be learned, not born. There are two possibilities for a child not to fight back when he is beaten: first, he will not fight back. Second, I dare not fight back. In the first case, parents need to show their children how to solve such things. Parents can show it to their children. In the second case, parents need to encourage their children to do what they really want to do. If you want to fight back, do it!

We just need to teach our children how to deal with problems, but parents should not take the place of their children to deal with contradictions. As long as there is no big harm, parents should spare preschool children and encourage them to handle conflicts by themselves. Children are the theme. In social interaction, the first consideration is the child's feelings. And if some children are sensitive, they need parental intervention. If the child is not sensitive, the intervention of parents may aggravate his injury and make him feel seriously injured.

We told him that it was wrong to hit people, which was completely correct. According to the law, the personal rights of others are inviolable. But it's not enough for us to tell him that. Because, your child is very good, listens to parents' instructions and does not provoke, but if other children are lacking in education in this area, the children themselves may naturally not understand, and this behavior is inappropriate. Therefore, it is possible that in the process of interacting with children, your children have encountered excessive behavior of others. On the one hand, he feels unwell physically, and at the same time, he is struggling internally: he has done something wrong that his parents think he is fighting back; If I don't fight back, I will be beaten by him. He can hit me, why can't I hit him? Why doesn't he do bad things? In the face of other children's attacks, I can't hide, and I can't untie the knot in my happiness, so I cry.

So we have to finish the next sentence: at the same time, we also enjoy the same personal rights, and others can't violate them. If it is infringed, each of us has the right to protect ourselves and is protected by national laws, so there is the saying of "justifiable defense".

Personally, I don't advocate: if someone hits me, I'll call back immediately, because there are indeed accidental injuries, and sometimes even for friendly purposes. However, if it is really proved to be unreasonable provocation, then it is naturally "come on, rude."