How to improve emotional intelligence, get along well with others and make everyone like themselves?

How to improve emotional intelligence

1, it is good for everyone to learn to draw a pro

How to improve emotional intelligence, get along well with others and make everyone like themselves?

How to improve emotional intelligence

1, it is good for everyone to learn to draw a proper psychological boundary.

You may think it's a good thing to be unclear with others, so that everyone can get along as they please, without having to bargain fiercely with each other. This sounds reasonable, but its disadvantage is that others often hurt your feelings without your knowledge.

In fact, if you look around carefully, it is not difficult to find that people with poor border skills are prone to morbid phobia. They will not confront the invaders, but prefer to talk to a third party. If we are the one who violates other people's psychological boundaries, we will feel like cold-blooded idiots when we find out the truth. At the same time, we also feel hurt, because we blame ourselves for our mistakes and are indignant because a third party intervened to judge us.

Clear boundaries are good for everyone. You must understand what others can and cannot do to you. When someone violates your psychological boundaries, tell him so that he can be corrected. If you always can't draw a clear psychological boundary, then you need to improve your cognitive level.

2. Find a method that suits you, calm yourself down when you feel that you are losing your mind, keep your blood in your brain and make rational actions.

Americans once joked that when something happens, rational children let blood into their brains and can think intelligently; Savage children let blood enter their limbs, their brains are empty, and they are crazy.

Yes, when blood fills your brain, you are awake and behave normally. On the contrary, when blood flows to your limbs and tongue, you will do stupid things, be impulsive and irritable and say nothing.

In fact, scientific experiments have proved that when we become overly nervous under pressure, blood does leave the cerebral cortex, so we will behave abnormally. At this time, the animal nature in the brain plays a leading role, making us behave like the most primitive animals. You know, in a civilized society, acting like a primitive animal will bring big trouble.

There are many strategies to control emotional outbursts, one of which is to pay attention to your heart rate, which is an accurate ruler to measure emotions. When your heart rate exceeds 100 beats per minute, it is very important to rectify your mood. At this rate, the body secretes much more adrenaline than usual. We will lose our minds and become aggressive crickets.

When the blood begins to flow to the limbs again, you can choose the following methods to calm your mood:

1, take a deep breath until you calm down. Take a deep breath slowly and let the air fill the whole lung. Put one hand on your abdomen to make sure you breathe correctly.

2. Talk to yourself. For example, say to yourself, "I'm calming down." Or: "Everything will pass."

3. Some people use hydrotherapy. Taking a hot bath may make your anger and anxiety disappear with the foam in the bathtub.

4. You can also try the method of American psychologist Donna Aidan: think about some unpleasant things, and at the same time put your fingertips on your forehead above your eyebrows, press your thumb on your temple and take a deep breath. According to Aidan, it only takes a few minutes for blood to return to the cerebral cortex, so you can think more calmly.

3. When you want to complain, stop and ask yourself, "Should I continue to endure this seemingly unchangeable situation or change it?"

We call endless complaints nagging. Complaining consumes efforts, has no result, is useless for solving problems, and rarely makes us feel better.

Almost everyone finds that if we confide our dissatisfaction to a sympathetic third party, we will feel better and he will be angry with them. Someone says to you, "poor baby." This is a great comfort to you. Your stress seems to have eased, and you can face the original situation again, although things have not changed.

But if you don't complain, you will feel great psychological pressure. Sometimes stress is not a bad thing, yes, it may make you feel uncomfortable, but it is also a force to make changes. Once the pressure is relieved, it is easy for people to maintain the status quo. However, if stress is not lost in complaining, it will accumulate and reach a limit, forcing you to take action to change the status quo.

4. Sweep away everything that wastes energy.

What is the driving force that is not conducive to improving our EQ? The answer is everything that wastes energy.

Many people have thick calluses on their nervous system, just like their father's hands. We are used to not knowing the energy consumption. Energy is subtle, but you can also experience obvious changes. For example, when you hear good news, adrenaline will surge, and when you hear bad news, you will feel exhausted. We usually don't notice subtle energy consumption, such as getting along with a negative person, looking for a piece of paper everywhere on the table and so on.