If you don’t get angry, you win.

Pushkin said in the poem "If Life Deceived You":

"If life deceives you, don't be sad, don't be impatient! You need calmness in melancholy days: believe Well, happy days will come! ”

Let me ask you, if one day, life deceives you, and someone laughs at you, abuses you, or lies to you, how should you face it?

The immediate reaction of most people is to be angry.

But the more angry you are, the more painful you feel, and the person who makes you angry is still living his life happily like no one else.

If you don't find it, being angry is like drinking poison and expecting others to suffer.

Therefore, some people choose not to be angry. As long as they don’t think so much and don’t care so much, they can withdraw themselves from the painful and upset emotions and let the outside world The world is stormy, but you still have a peaceful place in your heart.

Only by living a life without anger can you live a life full of vitality.

Chen Danqing has this to say: "I almost never get angry, because I think it is unnecessary. If there is a problem, I will solve it and don't let other people's mistakes affect myself. But just because I am not angry does not mean that I have no temper. . Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I have a good temper. If you insist on touching my bottom line, I can tell you that I am not kind.”

I took the bus to buy vegetables at the market this morning. During the morning rush hour, everyone is inevitably a little impatient. So a terrible scene happened on the road.

When passing a traffic light intersection, a car forcibly blocked the road and stopped directly in front of the bus. The bus driver quickly stopped, because the sudden stop caused several people standing in the aisle to fall forward. The bus suddenly became agitated. One of them cursed the driver, which made the bus driver very angry. was lit.

There was a traffic jam in front of us, and the passengers on the bus didn’t even curse. Then the bus driver’s behavior shocked us. He kept honking the horn wildly, and even stuck his head out to argue with the bus driver. , the people in the car were also rushing to go to work, the complaints and curses were getting louder and louder, and everyone was obviously in a bad mood.

Later, I don’t know what the bus driver said, which directly caused the bus driver to get out of the car and argue with him, and almost started a fight. Fortunately, several passengers of similar age in the bus came down to persuade them, and it took two people Everyone returned to their cars.

Psychologically speaking, when people are extremely angry, the amygdala in our brain will be hijacked, and we will act without thinking at all. At this time, we will inevitably do impulsive things, but has the driver ever thought about the possibility that a moment of anger will lead to trouble and a real fight will only end up hurting both sides?

I like this sentence very much: "When you feel someone's deceit, you can't express it in words, and when you are insulted, you can't express it in words. This has infinite meaning and infinite benefits."

What does this sentence mean? It's very simple. It means that when you are deceived, don't be quick to talk, and when you are insulted, don't show your anger directly on your face. Many times I think this sentence sounds "weak", but after I have experienced a lot, I feel that a long time ago, the ancients told us the benefits of controlling emotions and taught us the wisdom of dealing with others.

If you get angry with others or fight with others, you will only cause great harm to yourself. Don't care so much about others and don't get angry, not because you are a coward, but because we need to learn to identify problems, be rational, and avoid unnecessary harm. This is a sense of self-protection.

To be honest, I used to be a person who was very used to being angry with myself, and I couldn’t stand others sharing their achievements with me. For example, if a friend buys a house or a car and invites me to her house, I will be very angry. Of course I wasn't angry with her, I was angry with myself.

I will be angry at myself for why I am doing so poorly, why I am not as good as others, and why others can always get what I want easily. My favorite thing to do is to use other people's success to punish myself, and then torture myself and make myself unhappy.

Later, a friend of mine said to me, do you know why you are always unhappy? It's because you are always competing with yourself and feeling sulky at yourself.

She also told me a story about a desert camel, which I believe many of us should have heard. The story goes like this:

A camel was walking in the desert. The hot weather made it dry and in a bad mood. It was walking on the desert little by little, and suddenly it stepped on a piece of glass, knocking the sole of its foot. At this time, it was very angry, so it kicked out the glass fragments with its other foot, but accidentally cut its own foot.

The blood flowed continuously and dripped on the desert. At this time, the smell of blood attracted many animals in the desert, including vultures flying in the sky and wolves in the distance. They were all waiting for the opportunity to knock down the camels.

The camel was very scared, but due to the injured foot and the long walk, it had no strength to escape. It could only stumble and run around in a hurry. As a result, it came to a nest of man-eating ants. The man-eating ants that smelled the smell swarmed out and immediately wrapped the injured camel tightly.

Luo Tuo regretted it at the last moment of his life. Why did he want to vent his anger on that small piece of broken glass?

In fact, many times we feel that we are angry at things that make us uncomfortable, but in fact we are fighting with ourselves. There is nothing wrong with a piece of broken glass lying on the roadside, but the camel vented all its emotions on this piece of glass. What really pushed the camel into the abyss was actually itself.

From this story, it is not difficult to see that many times we are like that camel, and we start to punish ourselves because of little things. Just like what I mentioned earlier about the relationship with friends, we Most of the actions are just because they are dissatisfied with themselves and have resentment against themselves because their abilities have not met the requirements for a period of time.

In this case, we end up losing out on both sides, hurting ourselves and hurting others. Therefore, not being angry with yourself not only makes you live comfortably, but also makes others feel comfortable.

In fact, the older I get, the more I feel that using my emotions is a kind of self-depletion, and I feel more and more that I should face life more calmly.

Because every day of our lives is new, and every moment we have cannot be copied. Life is not for being angry. Always worrying about trivial things is a waste of life.

Being angry is not necessarily a good thing. After all, in ancient times, there was an allusion to Zhuge Liang's three qi and Zhou Yu. Zhou Yu lived a life of elegance and good strategy, but in the end he only gained the reputation of being pissed off by Zhuge Liang.

Being angry, to put it bluntly, is self-punishment. Punishing yourself infinitely for the mistakes of others and your own mistakes will ultimately hurt you.

Therefore, in life, there is no need to be too serious, and don’t care too much. If you are more confused, more open-minded, and more sunny, you can live more freely and happily.

Learn to let yourself go and let others go, and you will win.