Funny copywriting that makes people laugh

1. I drank Jiaduobao in the office today. When I opened the can, I noticed that it had the same gasy sound as soda. I asked: Why does Jiaduobao have gas? 1. Dude colleague: That’s not because I was angry with Wang Laoji...

2. I just saw a figure that looked like you. I chased after you like crazy, then I remembered that you are not in this city. I stopped. Stepped down. I put down the brick in my hand and almost hit the wrong person.

3. Maybe you are dissatisfied with the current situation and feel that you are fat, ugly, frustrated, poor, stupid, and weak...but please believe that everything will get better, and slowly you will feel so fat. . So ugly. So frustrated. So poor. So stupid. So bad...

4. The goddess colleague came to our office, and a fragrance swept over quickly, and colleagues were greedy to smell it. At this time, there was a strange sound, the goddess's body twitched obviously, and a stench immediately filled the air, and everyone covered their noses. A gay man said: A goddess is a goddess, she smells like a fairy from heaven, and her farts will be stink for thousands of years!

5. How can you have love and refuse to be hurt at the same time? Don’t forget, Cupid shoots arrows, not roses.

6. I used to think that I couldn’t find a handsome husband because handsome men are too easy-going. Now that I have matured, I feel that I shouldn’t find ugly men because ugly men are not only easy-going but also ugly!

7. Except for my mother, everyone in the family is afraid of my father, and my little nephew is also afraid. One day he was crying again and couldn't be coaxed. As soon as my dad came home and walked in the door, he stopped immediately. I said to him: Cry, why don't you cry? He wiped away his tears: I can't rest for a while. I'll wait until grandpa goes out before continuing to cry...

8. In life, you always have to take some responsibility or find some sustenance. So some people are raising parents, wives and children, some are raising cats, dogs, birds and fish, and some are raising flowers and plants. I am more advanced, so I close my eyes and start to rest my mind.

9. After dinner with the female leader and the guests, I found out that it was drizzling when I came out! I held an umbrella for the leader. After drinking some wine, the leader moved the girlish heart and said: No need, I will get some rain and grow taller (the leader is short)... I casually said: You are not young anymore, you have grown up. It's over, don't shrink in the shower... Can we still come to work tomorrow?

10. Watching The Legend of Zhen Huan with my boyfriend, I saw that Huan Huan was called Emperor Shiro. My boyfriend asked me why I called her Emperor Shiro. I said it was a nickname. My boyfriend asked again, why is it Shiro? I said he was the fourth child, and my boyfriend said you would never call me that. I thought for a while, there was only one child in his family, and I called out weakly... Dalang, do you want to take medicine?

11. The rats were rampant in the store, and I tried every method to no avail, and I was very worried... I browsed the ultrasonic rodent killer on the Internet and it was very effective. I bought one decisively at a high price and plugged in the amplifier. On the shelves, the store was still not quiet. I climbed up just now to take a look, and there was a bunch of rat droppings on the rat zapper. Rat excrement... My colleague laughed and said: Brother, are you sure the rat killer you bought is not a rat killer...

12. My girlfriend’s father made an appointment with me. After meeting, he pointed to the cash on the table and said: "This is 10 million, please leave my daughter." Although I was reluctant to let go, I also knew that this could not be changed. , had no choice but to reach for the money. He opened my hand and said: "What do you want to do! This money is not for you. I just want to tell you that we are rich and you don't deserve it!"

13. I will do it when I go to school. The male idol is nothing more than the one who is good at studying or the most handsome player. There is no such thing as the so-called tall, rich and handsome guy nowadays. My boyfriend is different. He is the first person in our biological experiment group to dissect a frog! At that time, I felt that with this technique, he must have been a general fighting on the battlefield in ancient times! Later I found out that his family sells barbecue...

14. In today's class meeting, the teacher said, "Two students were caught in puppy love by the school. As a result, both of them were sent home and warned us. Thinking about the consequences of early love, suddenly the classmate stood up and sang: From now on, I will no longer suffer the pain of studying, and the couple will return home... The whole class was in an uproar.

15. Go to school. It happened that time, when I was doing homework at home, there was a sudden power outage. Yeah, yeah, yeah! I finally didn’t have to do my homework, and I could finally watch TV.

I went out of my way to turn on the TV. In the dark corner, my dad said calmly: It's bad luck to be ugly, but to be so stupid, what will happen in the future?

16. Why do the friends of the poor have to be poor? Are they really unable to integrate into the life circle of the rich? Is it so difficult to be friends with a rich, handsome, rich man? Should poor people remain poor all their lives? Is this society really so unfair? Thinking of this, I couldn't control my emotions and started crying while sitting on the private plane. After a while, the supermarket cashier came out and said: Why are you crying? You can only move after inserting coins, don’t you know?

17. A fat woman went to the beach with her husband. She lay on the beach, stretched her limbs, and enjoyed the sun and sea breeze. At this time, her husband came over and said to her: You look like a big character lying down, which doesn’t look good. Please pay attention to your image. She looked around and said nonchalantly: Look, that woman is not lying like this. My husband looked at it and sighed and said: Hey, there is still a difference between imitation Song Dynasty and black body.

18. My son got into a fight at school, and the teacher asked me to go to school. When I got to school, I asked my son why he was fighting with his classmates. The son said quietly that he could not control the ancient power in his body! I was so angry that I beat my son immediately. After that, I said to my son: If you can’t control it next time, let your father and I control it for you...

19. I just hid under the bridge. Rain, a guy wearing glasses came to Shixing and sighed: Oh my God, it’s such a pouring rain. I vomited all the rainwater in my mouth, and secretly despised it in my heart. You only have this level of education. Is this really pouring? This is basically Sima Guang smashing the vat!

20. I took the bus the day before yesterday. I didn’t sleep well the first night and kept yawning. You know the morning rush hour of buses in Beijing. They are very crowded. A beautiful girl was holding the railing next to me. The climax was when the bus suddenly stopped when I was yawning, and I bit the girl on the arm. Looking at the girl’s frightened expression, I silently said to her: woof woof...

21. My mother I kept urging me to get married, but I didn’t even have a boyfriend. When I was urged, I said: Didn’t my sister-in-law marry my brother only in her thirties? At worst, I will become a "leftover girl" like her. After saying that, I put down my phone with a guilty conscience, quickly kicked my sandals under the sofa, and sat upright. The little niece was unhappy on the side: Auntie, can you compare with my mother? My mother graduated from graduate school, has a decent job, and a stable income. That’s what she calls a “leftover woman.” You can be considered a female bachelor at best...

22. I ate at KFC last night and sent a message on WeChat After the blog, I felt that my eyes were very tired, and I suddenly remembered the method of relaxing my eyes mentioned on the Internet, so I wanted to give it a try. First rub your hands to warm them, then cover your eyes with both hands, relax, and let your mind go without thinking about anything. This lasts for five minutes. After five minutes, let go of your hands... The mobile phone on the table is gone, but your eyes don't hurt anymore. It hurts!

23. A female colleague ate duck leg rice for several days in a row. I asked her why? She said: The fitness instructor told me that eating this way is good for my body shape. Today at noon, I saw that she had changed her taste and ordered cold noodles, and asked her why? She said with a dark look on her face: Forget it, it was a mistake. The coach said that leg press is good for the body.

24. My wife was nagging me in the kitchen while cooking, saying that we should not use rough methods to educate our children, but should use love to influence them, and treat them as friends... At this time, my son came back from school and handed me I have a test paper. When I saw 25 points, I was about to get angry and remembered what my wife said, so I squatted down and asked him with a smile: Are you tired from school today? What did you eat for lunch? He took two steps back in a panic and said: Don't speak secretly, if you want to be honest, if you want to be beaten, scold them quickly...