One-second hilarious copy

1. I've been single for a long time, so I take the bus. 1 Girls brush my shoulders 1, and I even know where our children go to school.

2. Find the right person and have a romantic life together; I've got the wrong person. I've been talking about swords all my life!

My parents called me and said, "Your cousin came home today and brought a beautiful girlfriend. If you don't bring your girlfriend home in a couple of days, your father and I will have no place to put it. " I have no choice but to rent a girlfriend from the internet. I brought it home today, and my parents turned green: "Isn't this your cousin's girlfriend?"

Big data shows that quitting smoking can prolong your life span for nearly ten years. So if you quit smoking again and again, you will live forever.

Before I got married, I thought I could change the world After I got married, I suddenly realized that I couldn't even change the TV channel!

6. My buddy and his wife had a flash marriage, and they got divorced just after their honeymoon, which made a terrible noise. I said, "As for divorce, what's the big deal?" Buddy: "She hid in the past!" I said, "Huh? Have you ever been divorced before? " Buddy: "It's worse than this! She won the prize in Taekwondo in the province! "

In fact, it doesn't matter where to travel, but the scenery along the way is the most important, because I have enough money to buy a round-trip hard seat.

8. Some people look good when they smile, but you look funny.

9. Don't see others joking about the profession of moving bricks, and you will join in the input. Are you sure you earn more than moving bricks?

10. Women like men who are not good-looking, and don't like men who are not good-looking.

1 1. Some time ago, my friend's mobile phone fell into the toilet, but I didn't catch it after looking for it for a long time. I wonder if it will fall into such a hole. Don't tease me, I just took a test with my mobile phone, hehe, my mobile phone fell in. Talking too much is tears. I hope everyone will take a warning, and you will not die if you don't die.

12. Whenever I want to be lazy, I tell myself that people who are better than me work harder than me, so what's the use of my efforts?

13. Although I have no money, I will save it. Just like today, I just took a fancy to a Rolls Royce and didn't buy it, saving millions at once. On second thought, I am really a thrifty housekeeper!

14. I have been out for several years. From the salary of 2000 yuan in the first month to the salary of 1 10,000, 50,000,110,000 and 500,000 later, I never thought how I owed so much.

15. I said to my husband, "It is said that two people will look like husband and wife after a long time together. Where do you think we are like? " The husband nodded: "The breasts are the most similar."

16. Girls should buy more clothes, otherwise how will they know that they will lose weight again.

17. Don't say that you are nothing. You are good at playing mobile phones all night.

18. Before getting married, my wife always sticks to the last line of defense and always tells me "You should restrain yourself"! After marriage, I said, "You should restrain yourself"!

19. Marriage is to wear cotton-padded clothes freely. It is inconvenient to move, but you will get a lot of warmth.

20. Young people should never despair because they have no money, because you should know that there are still many days when you have no money in the future.

2 1. Live well, and there will be a new blow every day. Look at the gesture of swallowing mountains and rivers when you tear up the express parcel. It's not like a weak woman can't even unscrew the bottle cap of mineral water.

22. I once threatened that I would rather freeze to death than become a dog at a high temperature of 40 degrees. It was not until I was frozen into a dog this winter that I understood: a wonderful promise, because I was too young.

23. Q: What are the advantages of your boyfriend? A: To sum up, it is five words "I will pick a girlfriend".

24. If anyone bullies me, I will write his name on the insole. If you can't step on him, it will stink to death.

25. There is no phobia of choice, not just because of poverty; No indecision, just cowardice.

26. There is something wrong with long meat. Don't always go at your face!

27. "Even if the whole world opposes it, I will stick to my dream." Who are you to turn the whole world against it?

28. We are destined to be a family. Even if I can't be your husband, I'm waiting to be your son-in-law sooner or later!

29. If marriage is the grave of love, then blind date means looking at feng shui for the grave, confession means digging the grave, marriage means double suicide, empathy means moving the grave, and a third party means robbing the grave.

30. "Do you like Sleeping Beauty?" "Yes, but I didn't sleep."