Joke Collection Website - Talk about mood - Seek original composition (strive for beauty, plus points according to the degree! ! ! )
Seek original composition (strive for beauty, plus points according to the degree! ! ! )
Xi 1
The spring Baihe River is far away, and the bridge is broken.
I want to fly by blue crane, but there is no reply for a long time.
Under the slope of a peach forest, there are patches of wheat fields, and occasionally there is a rape flower scratching around in the field, and the orange flower is particularly eye-catching.
A small river was flooded by fields, leaving only a few snakes. In the setting sun, the white snake sparkled in the previous section, beside the broken bridge, and in the later section of the river, the small bridge was reflected as a green dragon lying in the clear water.
Across the river, at the corner of the mulberry forest, there are more than a dozen families, and handsome poplars are planted in front of each family. The cow tied to the tree, staring into the eyes of the man and the cow on the poplar pole, ruminated on the old and new stories in his stomach, and sometimes "moo-"sounded long, announcing the climax of the story.
On the earth cliff, as soon as the chickens spread their wings, they can perch high on the branches of tung trees in the courtyard. The pink, white and purple bouquets all jumped into their hearts at once, and they were so excited that they mistook the infinite sunset for the sunrise and screamed wildly before the sunset.
A rhubarb dog drove some fat sheep back to the village and found that the grass was full of purple sheep dung. He was surprised. I touched my front paws a few times, and when I saw that there was no danger, I dared to swallow a few mouthfuls, and my mouth was full of mulberry black honey juice. Just as he was about to munch, a locust silkworm hung down out of thin air and stood on his drooping ear. The yellow dog was frightened and ran away from him, barking at the silkworm lady.
Ignorant stove smoke, clouds of red fire have been dedicated to the stove fire, a little bit, a wisp, until the wind pushed away from behind, only to roll up, slowly climb over, inject into that small poplar forest, and blend into this peach forest.
A group of children with long hooks in their hands and rattan cages on their arms saw that there were one or two bees on the newly picked Sophora japonica in the cage, so they put the rattan cages on the ground, squatted down and whispered to the bees, "elf, come home quickly, it's getting dark and you miss your mother." Pick a bunch of Sophora japonica with the largest number, induce them to come out one by one, and then hang them on the branches of Sophora japonica and among the buds that are not fully open.
Climbing the slope, I looked up and saw a bright mirror overhead. The clouds were chased by the evening breeze and reunited at the foot of the Qinling Mountains. Thunder rumbling in the distance, at the foot of Qinling Mountain, there is a happy rain tonight.
2. Ears
Leshan and Leshui brothers and a group of friends climbed up from Taolinpo, and it was getting dark. Dai Yue, wearing stars, walked a smooth road, went home in splendor, washed fresh Sophora japonica with clean water, and asked her mother to steam Sophora japonica.
Sophora japonica is mixed with flour and water, steamed on a steamer and eaten directly in a bowl. The fragrance and sweetness of flowers have not disappeared. If adults eat it, it's too weak. You can add salt, vinegar and pepper, and then drop two drops of sesame oil. Like eating noodles or frying shepherd's purse, it has a special taste.
I ate Sophora japonica last night, and I ate Sophora japonica this morning. I haven't finished the Sophora japonica picked by the two brothers. Mother said, "You two are free today. Do you want to go to your grandmother's house? " The two brothers promised again and again: "OK!" "Yes!"
Mother went to three families and borrowed a cage for relatives. On the lower floor of the bamboo square cage, she filled her steamed buns. On the upper mezzanine, she put a small bowl of steamed pork, a small bowl of striped meat and a bottle of canned fruit, and told her two sons to go out. As soon as the dog saw someone go out, it became anxious and barked to keep up.
Two brothers, the elder brother is carrying a small basket with a hoe in it, and the younger brother is carrying a rattan basket with a small shovel in it. This is a tool that they will always carry with them as long as they pass through Taolinpo. They can cut pigs and sheep while walking, and they can also dig some herbs. Mother joked with them, "I have never seen such a nephew." Is it empty basket to carry uncle's rice or white flour? " The younger brother used his quick wits and said, "Wrap some Sophora japonica flowers and send them to my uncle's house." Brother Leshan said: "We still carry the stone to the mountain, and then go down to the bottom of the slope, and there are Sophora flowers everywhere!" " "Mother nodded by default.
The three of them talked and laughed along the way, followed by Xiaohei. The local dogs in Mijiaya, also called stupid dogs and vegetable dogs, always have drooping ears. Xiaohei is a local dog, but his ears are only half drooping. I don't know if it was because his ancestors were more romantic that he went to string seeds. Locals describe someone as ostentatious and say, "A stupid dog is a German shepherd!" It means propping up your ears with chopsticks and pretending to be a German shepherd and a foreigner. However, Xiao Hei, who grew up in Kansai Mansion, is a kind-hearted Xiao Hei who never bullies others.
Step 3 in the morning
Three mothers and children, plus Xiaohei, four people walked a flat road and came to Taolinpo.
The slope of Taolinpo is relatively gentle, with abundant sunshine, timely rain, rich vegetation and rich products. In addition to peach forest, almond forest, apple forest and pear forest, there are wild grapes, wild persimmons, medlar and jujube trees everywhere. When you pick wild fruits in the bushes with the beautiful songs of small tits, there are often small creatures such as foxes, squirrels, rabbits and hedgehogs suddenly passing by your feet, and pheasants are flying around, which makes people feel surprised and surprised.
Standing at the mouth of the ditch, I looked at the water vapor and clouds that joined together last night. After the tear of the morning breeze and the sunshine, they became a trace, a road, a wisp of hair, like a flying skirt in Dunhuang.
In the morning light, the valley that slept all night is slowly waking up.
The mulberry trees on the other side of the river are still shrouded in fog, and the tall poplar trees in front of every household are out of their proud bodies. Under the tallest poplar is the courtyard wall of my uncle's house, but I can't see it clearly at the moment. You can hear chickens barking and dogs biting in Sangshuping, but it will take an hour or two to go down the slope and hover around the river bank before you can walk to grandma's house.
A winding dirt road can only be used by two people. The peach tree forest in the slope is in the flower season of life, and the tiny peach blossoms in full bloom gather together to form a red cloud. The skinny peach tree trunks are generally lit with ink paintings.
According to word of mouth, Taolinpo has existed for thousands of years. When the earliest ancestors came, they lived in caves dug by themselves at the top of the slope and picked wild fruits to eat. Think about it, too. The ancestors who can't slash and burn, seeing a large area of wild peach trees, a good place to thrive and cultivate love, how can they bear to leave?
So far, the people who have contracted the whole Taolin still maintain the ancient style. When the peaches are ripe, you can pick any peaches to eat, but there is a rule that you are not allowed to pick them. Spit out the peach pit after eating, or throw it under the slope and naturally grow into a forest.
A few people are walking on the road. In the chill of the morning breeze, emerald birds are singing, and bowls and Datura flowers on the roadside are laughing from time to time, dripping the cold dew in the morning on people's necks. I found a bunch of red peonies in Ye Sheng. After a night of dew, it is in full bloom, elegant and fragrant. Leshan took down the hoe to dig, but his mother stopped him. Mother said, "The peony is in bloom. It is best to dig again in early July to check the nutrients and medicinal properties. " "Ancient emperors did not bow and shoot arrows when they saw a pregnant doe while hunting," mother added.
Near the bottom of the slope, a low locust tree forest appeared, and its branches were bent like a layer of snow. When the two brothers stand taller, they can reach out and touch the Sophora japonica. Mother warned them: "beware of bee stings, pay attention to the black thorns under the leaves of Sophora japonica, and don't break the twigs." Like your brothers, they will grow into useful people in the future! " My brother Leshan said, "Then I won't take the long hook and fold it with my hand." Mother said, "Yes, it's really a good son of mother." Mother thought, these two grow up so fast that they can understand people's words.
4. bees
On the high platform on the right bank of the valley, there are several rape fields. Hard-working bees are enjoying a big yellow cream cake in the morning light. Leshan Leshui took out a "W"-shaped "bee trap" folded with white paper, put the thumb and forefinger into two paper barrels in the upper left corner of the "W" and caught the bees in the gap below. The bees are breaking out in a rash. Make sure the bees' buttocks are sticking out.
As a result, the two of them caught a few bees, and those who escaped came back to inform the queen that two alien monsters had invaded. The queen bee sent messengers to fly out quickly and danced an "8" dance to show danger. The worker bees accepted the warning and all flew into the depths of cauliflower.
The next steep zigzag soil slope, on one side of the ancient broken bridge, is connected with a temporary bridge. After connecting the two banks of the river with wooden rafters, put thorns on it and coat it with a layer of soil to make a temporary bridge. Old people, children and women who are carsick and afraid of heights will feel dizzy and weak when they get on the bridge. Leshan and Leshui brothers are the age when chickens fly and dogs jump. They are not afraid to cross such a small bridge at all.
The river is singing, and Xiaohei is afraid to follow. Le Shui bullied her and said, "Bitch dog, black dog egg, go back!" " "The little black was in tears, much like a child who was criticized by his parents for doing something wrong. Leshan saw little black pity and went back to the bridge. He put Xiaohei in a small basket and carried her across the river. After crossing the river, my mother said, "You three, if you are sisters, Blackie is my little sister, then you should recite another paragraph!" " "Le Shui said to Xiaohei," Hurry to pee and seize the opportunity. There is no shop after this village! " "Leshan carried Blackie on his back. Blackie saw it through the basket and cried happily.
On the other side of the bridge, under a dozen clustered rhombic poplars, the tea seller Han Tou and his mother exchanged pleasantries, asked the names of two children, stroked their long beards and said, "The benevolent enjoys Leshan, while the wise enjoys water. What a good name! "
Step 5 have fun
Rhubarb dog of my uncle's house saw a black girl at a distance, her fur shining like black silk, and she was running here ecstatically. Mother shouted, "rhubarb". Rhubarb bit her skirt, licked her hand, and pulled the trouser leg of Le Shan Le Shui. These two bad boys can play with Blackie on weekdays. When they saw the wolf's tail behind rhubarb's ass, they drilled directly behind their mother.
Mother shouted at rhubarb: "rhubarb, these are my two sons. They have come to see grandma!" " "Dahuang saw that the old master misunderstood his meaning, so he gave up the idea of licking the little faces of the two brothers, caught up with Xiaohe and ran home early to inform his grandmother.
Walking to grandma's door, Leshan grabbed a handful of Sophora japonica and held it to the cow's mouth. The ox stretched out a roll of tongue, and Leshan's palm was electrocuted, so hurry back. Not a single Sophora japonica flower was left, but it all went into the cow's mouth. Leshan licked his palm where the cow licked it, and felt that there was a faint smell of grass in the saliva of the cow.
As soon as a few people entered the door, a thin, pointed grandmother greeted her with a small basket. She greeted her mother, grandmother and grandmother one by one, held her two grandchildren in her arms, touched their little hair and let them eat walnuts, dates and fruit candy.
Leshan and Leshuikou put walnuts and dates into bags, stuffed sugar into their mouths and ran to the door in one breath. When they saw scorpions and their cousins, they shouted, "Full Moon Scorpions, Sister Peach Blossoms". Grandma said at the back, "Have you asked your elders about this? In the future, I will call you scorpion and call you sister! " Zhang Zi was busy on the loom and shouted to his mother, "Sister, please sit down first. There are four or five warp threads left. I have finished weaving this lattice of flowers." Mom said, "Don't worry, don't worry, you knit first." Go to grandma's house and quietly put down the canned pears specially brought to grandma.
Adults are talking in the hall. Leshan and Leshui are pestering Peach Blossom to tell stories, learn to write names and teach them to spin ropes.
Le Shui suddenly said, "Oh, my God!" " Run behind the wall to get something, and tear off two pieces of white paper from the peach blossom exercise book. Taohua and Leshan found something wrong and quietly followed them. Through the grating gate in the backyard, they saw Le Shui in a corner, holding a pig stick in one hand and a cigarette between the thumb and forefinger in the other hand, smoking and pulling stinky excrement, which was very enjoyable.
Leshan refrained from laughing and went to cover peach blossom's mouth. Taohua ran very fast, so she ran to three adults and asked them to come and have a look.
Change the water to another place and let the domestic pigs enjoy a good meal. If an elegant person jokes about drinking water, the pig will hum a few times to protest: "Only when the pig eats shit will it smell good!" Leshui lit the second cigarette and did the same thing there. Leshan picked up a lump of soil and threw it at the pig, smashing out a small puddle, which scared the pig. The pig jumped forward with a jerk, so scared that he couldn't stand up, his pants fell on his heels, and his penis drooped and he was at a loss.
Looking at Le Shui's mess, everyone couldn't help laughing at him. Le Shui blushed and looked innocent. When he saw the peach blossom, he stood up with his hips out. His face turned red like that. In Leshan's view, little ass, the two petals of Le Shui, must have turned red into a monkey's ass in a hurry. He gloated and shouted at Le Shui's naked ass: "Monkey ass, look, monkey ass!" " At this critical juncture, the girl is still delicate, and the peach blossom has torn two more pieces of paper, kneaded them into a ball and threw them to Leshui.
6. hole
After lunch, Peach Blossom winked at Leshan and told him to go out. Two people came to a yard hand in hand. After several turns, I went around behind a haystack. The peach blossom was torn several times by hand and made a hole. Leshan got into the straw hole, and the new house opened by Taohua felt very novel.
Peach blossoms were dug on one side of the hole and a bunch of persimmons were pulled out. Leshan just picked up one and took a bite, which was worse than eating ginger in his mouth, and he spit out the cave. Peach blossoms are only one or two years old in Leshan. When he arrived at the mouth of the cave, he laughed at Leshan: "Persimmons are soft to pick up and pinch, and melons and eggs don't even know this!"
Leshan came in again, blocked the hole with a handful of wheat straw, picked out soft persimmons and ate a lot.
Persimmons are all swollen, and Peach Blossom says that we are husband and wife. Taohua took off her floral skirt and helped Leshan take off his pants. Peach blossom told Leshan to stand up, and they embraced face to face. Peach blossom said, "We are husband and wife. When we grow up, marry me and have a bunch of little dolls. " Leshan said: "It is enough to have a baby, and regenerate a peach blossom sister." Peach blossom said, "Give birth to two, one is Leshan and the other is Leshan." Two people hooked their little fingers and said, "Hang yourself with a hook and never change it for a hundred years. Whoever changes is a bastard! " "Shave each other's noses and hug each other again with a smile.
The two of them were making vows of eternal love when they heard Huang and Xiaohei shouting, and then they heard them shouting, "Brother, Sister Peach, where are you two?" Peach Blossom and Leshan help each other to put on pants and skirts, and shout at Leshui, "Here I am! I am here! " Play hide-and-seek with Leshui.
Leshui heard the voices of her brother and sister, but she couldn't find anyone. Rhubarb and Xiaohei were lying at the entrance of the straw, tearing the straw with their claws and barking at Wang Zhi.
With a loud cry, Peach Blossom Leshan rushed out of the cave, scaring Huang and Xiaohei back a few steps, jumping into the cave to catch the present, and arching out a pile of rotten persimmon skins. Leshui clamored for persimmons, and Taohua said, "Then eat it hot, your brother has eaten it all!" " Leshui didn't believe it, and threatened Taohua: "If you don't give me food, I will tell all your secrets to adults!" " ! " "
Peach Blossom blushed with fear and deliberately raised her voice and said, "What's our secret?" Leshan was also worried about what Leshui heard or saw, so he heard Leshui say, "The secret of straw hole and the secret of warm persimmon!" " Peach blossom said, "It's not a secret to warm persimmons. You can't say this is my site! " "Le water said," then give me persimmons! "
Three people are shouting, rhubarb and black, coming out of the grass hole, with persimmon juice and persimmon skin on their noses. Peach blossom quickly got into the hole and saw her little pimple, which was destroyed by the dog.
Taohua rushed up to fight rhubarb and blackie, turned around and twisted Le Shui's ear to make him pay for persimmons. Leshan twisted the other ear of Leshui and asked him to compensate the persimmon. Le Shui squatted down, put his hands over his ears, surrendered and begged for mercy. Looking at the pitiful appearance of Leshui, Peach Blossom motioned Leshan to let go. Two men pulled some new wheat straw on the other side of the haystack, blocked the hole, and ran back to Taohua's home with the two dogs together, one driving the other.
7.hey
Three adults, three broken people and two dogs are free to combine and chat in front of the eaves.
The conversation between grandma and her mother, Zhang Zidong, parents, parents and adults. It's just whose wife remarried, whose old man was buried in the next life, who gave up three college students, who took the exam, who couldn't afford it, and the child disappeared after he went crazy.
Taohua broke a bamboo stick from the broom and drew a stage on the ground. Let Leshan play Xiao Sheng, and she will play Xiao Dan herself. They don't know whether she sang "The Edge of the Cabinet" or "Wudianpo" in Shaanxi opera. They just act according to the plot on the stage and on TV. Le Shui wanted to play the role of a son, visit the garden, salute and sing a duet with the young lady, but his younger brother flatly refused and complained to the adults with tears.
Rhubarb and blackie are just like playing crazy. When I drive the chicken out of the yard, I want to fly high, but I always "want to fly and fly, but I can't fly high." I flapped my short and small wings and called "Ga Ga Ga". Quarrel with scalpers, two "woof woof" and one "Cleisthenes Cleisthenes", just like Guanzhong people and Minnan people are talking on the phone in dialect, just trying to stamp their feet and smash the machine. The ox said, "Let the dog come here if you can. Let's have a competition and see whose horns are hard! " A dog didn't understand and said to the cow, don't think you can work in the fields. Beef is the treasure of Guanzhong, and it is crazy in front of me. The other shouted at the cow, "You are a cow! Pull the reins if you dare, and the three of us will compete! "
Rhubarb flirted with chickens and cows, brought little black, drove away the sheep that ate grass freely, and saw many mulberries falling on the grass. Because of Blackie's courage, he was not afraid of paratroopers falling from the sky again, and boldly swallowed a few mouthfuls. As a result, he swallowed a mouthful of sheep dung this time, and rhubarb vomited a mouthful of dirty things and ran to the river to drink water and gargle, which made people laugh. Xiaohe happily rolled off on the ground, saying that he had a stomachache and laughed himself out. Be quiet. The beautiful image of a man and a woman rippled in the river. Black can see God, but careless rhubarb is unconscious. He warned Blackie, "We still want the living. This matter ends here, but we dare not spread it to Mijiaya to make the dogs there laugh. "
That's enough. Grandma with a broken foot took her granddaughter to send her daughter's family of three. Holding her daughter's hand all the way, talking about her mother's words, I don't know who is holding who. Grandma says her days are numbered, and I wonder if she can ... Maybe next time. Both mother and daughter shed tears.
All the way to the path by the river, my mother stopped my grandmother. Taohua took Leshan's hand and whispered, "Goodbye!" "Happy water walked a long way, feeling unfairly treated, and ran back to hold the peach blossom's hand and shook it a few times before leaving.
Rhubarb and Xiaohei have run to the front, and they can't see the movie star.
With the affection in their hearts, the mother and son set off slowly. Mother rubbed her eyes and turned around. Until she turned a corner, the old mother with a blue handkerchief on her head was out of sight, so she took her son by the hand and walked back silently.
At the end of the bridge, the old fool asked Le Shan Le Shui, "What's delicious on your back? Let grandpa have a look. " On weekdays, the two brothers were most afraid of the old man stabbing people with his beard, so they ran a few steps and ran far away.
Lao Hantou has lived in Qiaotou for many years and has long been used to loneliness. Accompanied by the sound of running water in the river and the swish of poplar leaves, he snores twice every once in a while. He has a problem. He can fall asleep as soon as he sits down, snore as soon as he falls asleep, sleep as soon as he snores, and suppress himself. Between waking up and not waking up, he looked at the back of the mother and son, crossed the bridge, climbed the zigzag steep slope, and drowned in the Taolinpo.
Mother and son, three people, dispersed appropriately, dug herbs on Taolinpo. The two children's interests in digging medicine are mainly curiosity and fun. Curiosity is such a common plant that it can cure diseases. It's fun after a long time, and it feels like a sister-in-law relationship with herbs. Bupleurum can be made into injection, tooth defect can cure nosebleed, and cogongrass rhizome can cure anemia. Leshan has memorized it. It can tell who looks like and when it is suitable for digging.
When it was getting dark, several people went to the top of the slope, rhubarb and blackie, still playing together. Leshui mashed rhubarb with a piece of soil and told him to go back to Sangshuping. Rhubarb took a look back at Xiaohei, whispered a few words, turned and ran down the slope, and looked back step by step, like a affectionate sons of bitches. Xiaohei stood at the top of the slope and looked into rhubarb's eyes, like the dog girl in Seeds of Love.
8. Funeral
Ten years later, my grandmother's children, a group of grandchildren, lived in Mijiaya, Sangshuping, got married in Xiyu Town at the foot of the Qinling Mountains, worked in a military factory and taught in Anshi. No matter how far they went, it was Taolinpo who connected everyone when they communicated with each other.
Peach blossoms are still bright and clouds are still thick in early spring. Squirrels, pheasants and birds of all colors have increased a lot and become more interesting. A cement road extends forward and crosses a wide stone bridge. Between Mijiaya and Sangshuping, taxis can get on and off freely.
The winding dirt road records the good memories of childhood and is deeply hidden in the forest and grass. Some memories scattered in the forest and grass, such as peach blossoms, have already melted into the soil, while others are like lush forests and grass, but the details are clearer.
Some things you have forgotten, and some people still remember them for you. In the first year of Leshui's marriage, he took his beautiful kannika nimtragol to my uncle's house to pay a New Year call. At the dinner table, he talked about his fearless childhood hero. I don't know who mentioned it, which made everyone laugh. Le Shui, an adult, blushed to the root of his neck, glanced at his kannika nimtragol and smiled shyly. Daughter-in-law, who grew up in the city, pretended not to hear or see anything, calmly took the food to eat, and kept all the details of the whole incident in mind, saying that you are a smelly and fun baby!
The more you want to forget something, the deeper your memory becomes. What Leshan and his cousin did, until they grew up, they never had a chance to be alone again, as if nothing had happened. Leshan's deepest memory is the soft persimmon with peach blossoms. As for other aspects, it has long been condensed into a little secret, and it will not be revealed if it is killed. However, in his gifts to his newly married friends, there is often an extra photo. In the photo, a blonde girl and a boy with brown hair are standing on the beach. The girl opened the boy's shorts and looked inside curiously.
Cattle tied under poplars have been updated for five or six generations. The cow also gave birth to several calves, but they were all artificially bred. Along with their life, there are poplars and cold cow troughs used as cow pillars in the cowshed. When they are old, they are slaughtered and sold, and beef is buried in the stomachs of thousands of people. Cowhide makes military boots, running "Teng Teng", or knocking.
A hole has grown under the main stem of poplar, but it has not grown into an old tree essence and has become fragile. Poplar stands like a mountain, staring at the passing creatures with eyes full of cows and people. Poplar, he knew that in fact, the fate of the sheep in front of the door was similar to that of the pigs and cows in the backyard, except that pigskin and sheepskin were made into jackets, and most of them carried human skin. As for the story of cattle ruminating, Yang Shuquan kept it in mind.
A domestic chicken lays eggs for a year or two, and as soon as the chicks are replaced, they are eliminated and slaughtered. She had some beautiful dreams, but she didn't turn into a phoenix after all. She laid countless eggs, but she couldn't hatch chickens. After several enthusiastic hatcheries, they were rudely driven away by the old woman, shrew and ghost woman who collected eggs, scolding: "Don't lay eggs well, just build a fake nest for one day!" " Grab her hot eggs.
Little bees, messengers of love, fairies in flowers, fly, sing and charge year after year. Although I don't know how many generations have changed, it is still "that one" that appears in front of people every time. "That One" always hums love songs, dedicating love and marriage to hundreds of flowers and herbs, producing the sweetest honey in the world, which has the functions of clearing away heat, nourishing the middle warmer, detoxifying, moistening dryness and relieving pain.
What about rhubarb and blackie? They're already dead. Compared with cattle, sheep, pigs and chickens, their lives are really not low. They should run freely, enjoy love and be buried after death. Their lives should be very happy and happy.
After the trip to Sangshuping, Xiaohe died in childbirth in less than a year. As for the stillborn puppies, half of them are yellow. In the dog underworld, only dog Yan knows.
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