Quotations from Li Boqing

1, the hotter the sweat, the colder the shivering; The poorer, the more convenient; It's hot and cold, cold and hot; Chickens don't lay eggs, and coal is always black; If someone doesn't believe me, bet you wash white.

2. Element fragrance, get up and sell me the beer bottle. I want to be a page.

3, open, open, furniture does not drag.

4, two people play with friends, the man said to the woman:

"Little sister, basically the big problem between us is that my wife and I haven't figured it out yet."

When I saw someone else's good car, I gnashed my teeth and said, "Oh dear! This shrimp drives a BMW! "

6. Friend, don't hesitate to ask if you have any difficulties, except borrowing money.

7, dead doll, you have to make a mistake!

8. Hey, Muddy, you called another sister next door to the corner of the private room and sat on her paw. If you think you haven't touched her, you dare not touch her. Of course, even if you touch her, we can't touch you.

9. You have never eaten fat, and Heiwa has never been in the sun.

10, these two years are hot! This is not like our time. We have been friends for three years, and we dare not even hook up. If we hook up, we have to pull. Now, I realized it in the morning, and I took it back after dark. The next day, I woke up and said, "Little Sister, why are you sleeping here?"

1 1. Speaking of which, I thought that eight girls liked me, so I chose the most beautiful one, but they didn't do it.

12, Miss Li's, whatever.

13, I have to be afraid of you. Oh, suit yourself. You're a melon. You are an artist, and you are a fierce onion. Oh, honey, you couldn't afford soma six months ago. You forgot stealing others' honeycomb coal all those years!

14, it turns out that this young man is still very handsome and is loved by people. Now someone loves him, which is a belated love and a kind of harm to the house.

15, the old man said to his son, "You want to eat when you see others criticizing you. Which son of a bitch can see our two grandfathers in this street? If people eat, their mother will change, and your mother is not idle. "

16, the mother said to her daughter:

"Dead girl, just marry Li Boqing. He is ok, no matter how tall his mother is. "

Daughter said:

"Yes, you can marry him."

17, I don't like loneliness, but I'm afraid to get along with two people. This is obviously a kind of pain.

18. Why do we always break up in the rain?

19, you will be scolded when your speech is good, and you will be scolded when you leave. See when I didn't make a good speech.

"What are these dolls saying?"

I was scolded. You see, I made it clear that the young man was very happy to hear it.

"Hey, this shrimp is easy to say!" I was still scolded.

20. Fans are divided into soccer fanatics, soccer fanatics, soccer fanatics and soccer fans.

I have a bike. Everyone has rung except the bell. Which one should I buy?

22. The tortoise is dead. Won't it be moldy? Ask Li Boqing next door why it's moldy.

23. Mrs. Zhang, don't say that when I was young, I was still in the mini. Oh, come on, baby.

24, the little girl is so old?

The tortoise calls people little girls with a smile. This year is 3 1. The dolls are all in primary school,,,,,,

Yeah, I don't see it,,!

Really can't see,,,?

I really can't see,,,,,,

Then you said people were gossiping.

Call anyone. Bah! Bah! For thirty and a half years,,,,,,,,,!

That's a spatula! ! ! )

25. "Li Boqing, what does it feel like to have a fat girl on top of you?"

"Do you listen to the truth or lie?"

"It must be the truth three"

"That you said baritone pressure you 5 to! You said it was the feeling of a scorpion! "

26. Weather forecast: Wear shaking pants at the highest temperature, cotton pants at the lowest temperature, and cotton pants that are neither too hot nor too cold.

27. If the chicken doesn't crow or sleep, which brother-in-law will fire!

28. The old man said to his son, "I tell you, dead doll, you shouldn't care about me if you go out and wander around." You shouldn't bring back some weird diseases (sexually transmitted diseases). If you do it, my daughter-in-law will commit a crime, my daughter-in-law will suffer, Lao Tzu will suffer, Lao Tzu will suffer, your mother will drag a shovel when she runs away, and this street will collapse! "

30. Anyway, I'm dozens of years old. If you can walk, you can walk three. Anyway, don't worry about money, and don't worry about it.

3 1, train inner and outer tires, plane turn signals, draw the inside and outside of the moon, and stick it on the Great Wall.

32. Chengdu people have a bad habit of asking what they see ~ which puzzles many mainlanders ~

For example, bring noodles ~ "Eat noodles?" I carry noodles, so I ask for it when I carry a bowl of rice ~ I ask for it when I take a pot helmet.

These are understandable ~ the most embarrassing thing is that the toilet head touches, "Hey, forget it ~?"

I don't understand. I came here with my claws to fix the light bulb?

What's even more embarrassing is that I saw you in the toilet space, and my face turned red. He ran over and asked.

"What a big handwriting?" 、、、、、、、、、、、、

33. What Ko Jie hates most is that he can't be a soldier. You know, as a soldier:

"report! Report! Report! Report to the company commander! "

"What's the matter?"

"the enemy! Enemy! Enemy! "

"Why?"

"all of them! Both! They have all been smashed! "

It's all gone. You need a shovel. It's all gone

The noodle seller is even more unconscious when he meets you:

"gold! Gold noodles! "

"Good, good, eat or not?"

"Next! Get down. Get down. Next! "

When people know to whisper, they will spit it out. In the end, I still have to think too much.

"Next! Get down. Come and eat in the afternoon! "

Hey, it's annoying for dogs to eat in the afternoon!

34. Element fragrance: "The tortoise is dead. Do you know that we have been married for many years? "

Li Boqing: "I can't remember that much."

Element fragrance: "Eight years, dead man."

Li Boqing: "Oh, your mother, I have been reeducation through labor for 8 years!" " "

35. How many guests are there by the roadside?

Please rest in our shop.

The Sichuan-style pork in my shop is white flour.

Fish with pickled vegetables suffer from the summer heat.

Please go upstairs and have a rest after eating.

We have mosquitoes and fleas here.

Even if a few just bite the waiter and not the guest.

Eat Pippi instead of blood.

36. Don't ask, "Lao Li, long time no see. Where have you been? Have you gone up the mountain? " (meaning going up the mountain to reform through labor)

Li Boqing saw his expectant eyes and couldn't refuse, so he said, well, I went up the mountain, just like Li Boqing thought, and I went to Emei Mountain to practice.

37. The man said to the woman, "Ah! Element fragrance, I love you! If you don't marry me, I will fly down from the height of Shudu Building! "

Li Boqing: "Fly down with a shovel! I haven't flown down for so many years! "

38, when I was a child, I was not good.

Grow up straight.

Get married and kick the old one away.

Come back to eat on Sunday. you should

You deserve it.

My mouth is numb. Goodbye.

39. Northerner: What's Big Brother doing recently?

Miss Li: Brother, go to court.

Northerner: Hmm. That's great. Defendant or plaintiff?

Miss Li: Plaintiff. . .

Northerner: hmm ... more awesome ... what is this?

Miss Li: Your sister-in-law is * * * ...

Northerner: Lost or won?

Miss Li: I lost. ...

Northerner: Why did you lose?

Miss Li: The point is that your sister-in-law took money from others ...! ! ! !

Sichuanese buy things in Beijing.

Customer: "Miss, please bring me a pair of shaking pants."

Shop assistant: "sorry, we don't have waist drums here." Go to the music theater and have a look. " I thought it was a waist drum

Customer: "Oh, your young lady has become Beijing's ear wax!" " ! You can't even understand shaking pants, shaking pants is a cannon! "

Shaking pants is a cannon, which makes people even more puzzled.

4 1, our love is like a pot cover, so we can't read it.

42. The woman turns to her man: Don't watch him as a manager during the day. Wow, he often doesn't wash his feet in the dark!

43, business is good, I am on a business trip in the middle of the night, and business is good. I call at eight in the morning.

44, yellow total (yellow swelling), water total (edema), to * * * (edema)

45. On this day, before being executed, the condemned man said to the policeman standing by, "I'm going to die. Can you meet my last request? "

The policeman nodded and said, "Tell me, generally we will be satisfied."

Prisoner: "OK, please give me a helmet and a bulletproof vest."

46. Customer orders:

"Do you have Mo's steamed pandas?"

"Mo De"

"Braised abalone?"

"Mo De"

Knife-fronted prawn? '

"Mo De"

"That prawn?"

"Mo De"

"Why don't you open a restaurant? Forget it. Give me a bowl of hot and sour powder. "

47. One day, the husband and wife will be grateful for one hundred days, and the husband and wife will just stretch their muscles for one hundred days.

48. At the beginning of life, human nature is good. In fact, the beginning of life is really good. Even when he was born, when he was over one year old, he was kind. When you ask him what you want to be when you grow up, he will definitely say, "I want to fly a plane when I grow up, to be a PLA man, and to earn money for my parents." He would never say, "well, when we grow up, we must kill two to settle it!" " "

49, a factory, because the Chinese New Year is coming soon, the factory director arranged for some employees to go to the Cultural Palace to watch the science and technology exhibition, and the rest of the employees went to take a shower. The director called all the staff together and began to speak: "Comrades, New Year's Day is coming. This is the arrangement in the factory. Tomorrow morning, gay men take a shower and lesbians visit. In the afternoon, lesbians will take a bath and gay men will visit. " The worker below was already asleep, and he went on to say, "We have a rule about this visit. We are only allowed to see with our eyes, not touch with our hands (how to touch this technological product? ), and look carefully, look carefully, and write a summary for me after reading it. "

50. As long as you sincerely respect others, others will naturally respect you. If you don't come, you will scold the waiter as a coolie with wide ears and low IQ. This is unacceptable. Think about it, the wooden boards of our ancestors, more than 50 thousand years ago, were all earwax, hairy and with their hands under their knees. It belongs to an ape-man in Zhoukoudian, Beijing. Which one is earwax? How far was it when you went on a business trip to see the lotus pond? If you don't get rid of him, he will be tied in his pocket and the roof house will fix your mother.

5 1, it is one thing for you to forgive me and I forgive you.

52, see somebody else quarrel, he went up to stop the fight:

"One and two people are in their twenties and noisy. Mo's dozens of years old also has dozens of pounds. Like what, it is simply inexplicable. "

53. The wife has a good family and the doll is also good.

54, as beautiful as flowers and as jade, like pepper like taro, a few people will be paralyzed and will be infarcted.

55. Big eyes are charming and small eyes are clear and dead.

56. When an old man goes to get a rake (tricycle), you shout a rake. Ear, he screamed "rake" ("rake taxi")

Rake said, "Manager, please get on the bus. Shall I open the door for you? "

"Rake" will also be faked!

The veteran said, "I went to Jinjiang Theater to listen to Li Boqing's mysterious dragon gate array. How much is it? "

Rake your ear: "In that case, give me 5 yuan."

"What? Oh, it's a little expensive. "

"So you gave a lot of gossip?"

" 1.5"

"Is it a little soft?"

"In this way, everyone does not lose everyone, business is business, and the watch is strictly played!"

My face turned white when I raked my ears. How can I watch this? There is a watch that is not installed. How can I play it?

57. I'm afraid Sichuanese can speak Mandarin.

58, the change of this cry, the change of the funeral fire, I have been changing recently, you see, from the early days of liberation to before liberation, her crying method is different, she just wants to cry all your merits and demerits:

"You! Go to Chengdu at the age of seven and be an apprentice at the age of nine! You have been a thrifty person all your life, and I know you! A * * * supplement Baba weighs more than nine kilograms! Tofu milk takes 24 teeth to share! To tell the truth, you are thrifty people, and you are all picky eaters who have smoked all your life! Put the money in your paw. Now that everyone is gone, take this money to your paw! "

She cried you all over, counted you up and down, and then her back changed again, and her back became a whisper. Hey, especially during the Cultural Revolution, hey, everything should have the words "revolution, excitement, excitement"! The resident's grandmother cried, and so did her man:

"Revolutionary comrade Rao eldest brother! You sacrificed for the revolution! " Turtle tuberculosis died, what revolution was sacrificed? The old man who didn't work, "I'm sorry you died!" " Excited again! Move it. "What are you excited about? She thinks the word should be like this.

59. A woman told a story in Li Boqing and said, "Miss Li, don't go, I really love you!"

Li Boqing hesitated for a minute, thinking I couldn't turn the corner. I deeply understand my weakness: I am a man who can't stand the temptation. If I turn around, I will be afraid of excitement, and I will be excited again. If there is any more action, the backyard will catch fire and the roof will be torn apart!

Finally, my heart is crossed, so turn around and say! When I turned around, I thought I was twenty, thirty on the edge, and forty at zero. As a result, I look older than Lao Tzu! Fifty-nine I put up with all 59. She tied a diagonal (braid), dyed her face red and hung four lettuce leaves! Before I could get close, the police said, "Lao Li, don't run, you're crazy!" " "

60. When the man comes back, the woman wants to have a dragon gate array. The man is tired and falls asleep, and the woman is uncomfortable. She wrapped her eyes and stared at the ceiling:

"We call it a couple, mom, two beggars!"

6 1. The foreigner asked, "Mr. Li, what's your living standard in Sichuan?"

Li Boqing: "Others dare not lift their strength. The bedding we made is stainless steel! " "

62, that day I went to the tea shop to sit down and play, and I heard a few colors next to me pretending there. I was so angry that I picked up the child's mobile phone and buckled myself:

"Ah, manager Huang wow (yellow swelling), ah, I always have water (edema), oh, * * * also has (edema), and he sits next to me. We have several projects that you can do or not do, but it's really nothing. It is to draw the moon inside and outside the Great Wall and paste colored tiles on both sides. Another is to protect the environment and reduce pollution, and we are ready to give it.

63. The nanny drives a Mercedes to weigh the rake peas.

64. How old is this? He has a position in society, a booth on Qingnian Road and a berth in the crematorium!

65. When my stomach swelled more than I was hungry, I received a plate. When I was a student, I made two bets to see who would eat and who would lose.

Hui mian, a bowl of 22 1, I dumped at least eight bowls, plus soup and water, almost two kilograms. I managed to hold it steady until I stood up and walked. I knew it was wrong and finally went back to school. That night, that kind of pain,,, hey, turn it over, turn it over and press it on the window, no!

66. Several pairs of colors played mahjong all night, and everyone was beaten to ashes. At dawn, an old man stretched himself: "Oh, we played well and just tied!" " Then you won't waste the motor and electricity! )

67. Speaking of mourning, I want to catch two!

68. You shrimps dare to shake me. Find out who the super brother turned around at Jiuyanqiao 30 years ago!

69. Wide earwax, why is it called pea tip? You call Wang Di a little heavy!

70. The manager said to his employees, "How can we go to the next door to eat gossip every day? We have to weigh it back and do it ourselves so that we can row. "

7 1, now unmarried young people enjoy married treatment, and married people are often invited to sleep on the sofa.

72, the guests sit inside, hanging a bunch of sticks at the door, killing one counts as one, anyway, selling second-hand goods all day!

73. Dogs drive motorcycles and don't understand science.

74. An old man was drunk and was sent to the hospital for infusion. As soon as he opened his eyes, he asked, "Doctor, did you lose my Tuopai or Quanxing?"

75. After decades of revolution, only a few hundred dollars were refunded. I'm usually worried about the Crown Prince, and I have to welcome the homecoming group on Sunday (everyone will have a big meal when they come back).