Self-discipline is the foundation, heteronomy is the wind and rain.

I don't pretend to be a "self-disciplinarian", but it's not enough. I was "eight blocks away" from my expectation, but I didn't give up treatment. I have been on the road of constant practice and constant correction. ...

First, without self-discipline, there is no life.

In 1960s, Walter Mischel, a professor of psychology at Stanford University in the United States, designed a famous experiment about "delayed gratification", which started in a kindergarten on the campus of Stanford University. The researchers found dozens of children and left them alone in a small room with only a table and a chair. There are children's favorite things in the tray on the table-marshmallows, biscuits or biscuit sticks. The researchers told them that they could eat the marshmallow immediately, or wait until the researchers came back to get a marshmallow as a reward. They can also ring the bell on the table, and the researchers will return immediately when they hear the bell.

For these children, the process of the experiment is quite difficult. Some children cover their eyes or turn their backs in order not to look at the attractive marshmallows. Some children start to do some little tricks-kicking the table, pulling their braids, and some even pat the marshmallows with their hands. As a result, most children gave up in less than three minutes. Some children ate the candy directly without ringing the bell, and some children stared at the cotton candy on the table and rang the bell half a minute later. About one-third of the children successfully delayed their craving for marshmallows, and they waited until the researchers came back to cash the prize, which was almost 15 minutes.

The "marshmallow experiment" shows that those children who can delay gratification have stronger self-control ability. They can properly control and adjust their behavior, restrain their impulses, resist temptation and persistently ensure the realization of their goals without external supervision.

Mr. Qian Zhongshu also has such a passage about eating grapes in Fortress Besieged: "There is a bunch of grapes. Optimists must start with the worst grapes, eat the best grapes, and keep hope ahead forever; Pessimism is the opposite. Grapes get worse and worse until despair. "

You see, in the face of a bunch of "rotten grapes", optimists are bitter first and then sweet, and under the guidance of hope, the more they eat, the sweeter they become; Pessimists are sweet first and bitter later, and are bound by despair. The more they eat, the more bitter they are! Different choices, different results, different lives!

"Without self-discipline, there is no life"? So exaggerated? It's not an exaggeration at all, but who has made achievements and achievements, and which is not a convergent nature, and devoted himself to research? Which one is not a master of spiritual cultivation and which one is not a self-management strongman?

Second, there are other laws and new ones.

Since self-discipline is enough, why emphasize heteronomy?

Because people have "animal brains", it is inevitable to be greedy and ignorant, and it is inevitable to deceive others.

Fortunately, people are social animals. People must grow up in relationships, and no one can grow up independently.

Imagine why this "classical" school education mode, in which teachers teach and students learn, is not only in danger of disappearing, but even shows no signs of decline. On the contrary, it is becoming more and more important, as can be seen from the high housing prices in China school district. Not only in China, but also in the United States. Parents in the United States also try their best to get their children into good schools at high prices, and the mainstream people in other countries are actually similar. You see, on the issue of competing for scarce educational resources, the decision-making of global elites is surprisingly highly unified!

Therefore, the core element of the school system is not only to provide knowledge, but also to provide strong external constraints and positive traction environment. At least so far, there is no mature substitute for this function of the school.

Similarly, in the workplace office environment, technically speaking, many companies now do not need employees to work in the office, and telecommuting can do a lot of work. But why are so few companies really doing this? And some companies that have tried have also gone offline to work on site? The reason is that everyone is together. Are you ashamed to go to work, sleep and play games in full view? The efficiency will naturally be much higher. At the same time, no matter how convenient online instant messaging is, face-to-face communication is always irreplaceable, and on-site management is better than off-site management.

Xunzi's "Persuasion" has a cloud: "Climb high and recruit, the arm is not lengthened, and the person who sees it is far away; Call with the wind, the sound does not add disease, but the listener is obvious. Those who cheat horses are not good enough, but cause thousands of miles; A man who pretends to be a boat can't swim, but he can't swim. The life of a gentleman is the same, and goodness is a vain thing. "

Third, non-quantification is illusory.

Some time ago, I had the honor to study the course of teacher Liu Jia from Chunteng Parent College. The definition of children's weakness is very boring. The so-called weakness is the factor that prevents children from achieving their goals.

This definition breaks the limitations of inherent cognition. Weaknesses must be defined based on the realization of goals, and it is children's weaknesses that hinder the realization of goals. In other words, only the factors that hinder the goal can be defined as "weakness", otherwise it will fall into a bottomless pit of blind comparison!

I don't know if you have hit the nail on the head. Only by setting goals first can we make clear the advantages and disadvantages and evaluate the advantages and disadvantages, just like a sailing boat has no course, and all winds are against the wind!

In the final analysis, both self-discipline and heteronomy serve the goal in mind. Self-discipline or heteronomy without goals is the so-called "using tactical diligence to cover up strategic laziness."

Losing weight is not just empty shouting, but deciding how many pounds to lose first; Running is not just talk, but several times a week, several kilometers at a time!

Why must it be quantified? There are too many ideas in people's minds every day, and how many actually put them into practice? Ideas can be erratic, but the numbers are fixed, completion is completion, unfinished is unfinished, and cannot be fooled!

Self-disciplined people have dreams in their hearts and light in their eyes, and they also know that people have bad habits, so self-discipline also needs heteronomy blessing; Heteronomy works because of the self-discipline in the main body, otherwise it is irrelevant. Self-discipline is the foundation. No matter how good the external conditions are, it is useless. Heteronomy is wind and rain, which is not only watering but also destroying. Helping to resist depends entirely on nature!

And all this is because I have expectations for myself and the future.

So, do something. After all, they go down and we go up.