Simple psychological problems, children should not be rewarded 100 points.

I can understand your feeling. I also had bad days, so I studied psychology with my master's degree and worked as an internship consultant in a psychological hospital for a while. I think it takes a lot of courage for you to find the problem and speak it out, even anonymously. In addition, introspection is an ability. People who think they are mentally healthy may not really have no problems. Just like many drunken people refuse to admit that they are drunk.

What I want to tell you is that psychological problems are never simple. You said, "I won't have only one hand to anyone except my parents." "I can't trust anyone." In my consulting experience, this situation may be related to some psychological trauma that I didn't handle well before.

Don't think that only earthquakes can cause psychological trauma. Being scolded by the leader or quarreling with his girlfriend is also a kind of "psychological trauma", which will also affect his psychological state and mood, but this effect is very short and slight. Most people can repair themselves in a very short time, so some theories call it "minor psychological trauma". "Minor psychological trauma" cannot be completely ignored. If the repair is blocked and accumulated for a long time, there will always be the "last straw". This is also the reason why people who suffer from great work pressure for a long time are more likely to suffer from depression.

Some psychological trauma is not minor, but people's psychology has a mechanism. In order to protect themselves from some serious pain, they will subconsciously close or isolate their emotions, even their memories. I once met a visitor whose relatives cheated her out of all her savings. She fell into depression, but couldn't find the reason. It was not until nearly two months after psychological counseling that she recalled the process of being cheated with the help of psychological counselors. Of course, this is an extreme example. But this way of self-protection is not uncommon. I noticed that you said "nothing strange happened in the past". Whether the experience is "strange" is not the most important thing. The most important thing is whether you have handled it psychologically.

Judging from your description, you are still working and living normally, and other aspects of your life have not been affected except feeling "tired" and "guilty", so it seems that there should be no big problem now. According to psychological statistics, the proportion of people who can really be called mental health does not exceed 15%, and about 60-70% of people are in a normal but unhealthy state, just like their physical fitness can't meet the standards of athletes, but there is nothing serious wrong with them at ordinary times. They don't need to go to the hospital often, and they can carry a small cut on their hands or catch a cold for two or three days. In other words, most people have psychological problems, but to varying degrees. So we all belong to the normal majority, hehe.

So, I think you may have some problems with intimacy. People live in groups, and the need for real intimacy is an instinct, which is the same as eating when you are hungry. But I feel that something in your heart is preventing you from meeting your own needs. "I can't trust anyone" is actually a state of great pressure, which has begun to make you uncomfortable. You should find out the reason yourself. Since when do you feel that you can't trust anyone? What happened at that time, and you began to feel this way? It is possible that you choose "don't trust anyone" to protect yourself, but this kind of protection has some side effects. For example, you said "I like being alone". Loneliness itself is not a problem. But suppose an extrovert doesn't really like being alone. He has always been more willing to socialize, but at some point he feels that socializing is more uncomfortable than being alone. This may be a problem.

Maybe I said "don't trust anyone" is your "choice" and you won't accept it. However, if you think about it, everything is risky. Everyone has been cheated and hurt, big or small, light or heavy. Whether you are willing to take the risk of being cheated or hurt is a choice. If you feel that the risk is too high or you can't bear the loss caused by the risk, it is perfectly acceptable to choose "Don't trust anyone". Just as a way of self-protection, the cost of this choice is a bit high.

That's what I want to tell you. I certainly hope to help you, but if you don't agree with me, it can also be regarded as nonsense, because it's just my speculation based on my own knowledge and experience. Hehe, who can guarantee that our ideas must be correct? We're just saying some self-righteous things.

Good luck.

In addition, when I saw the comments on Tzu Chi children's shoes in the starry sky, I made some responses, because the number of words to reply to the comments was limited to about 150, which was not enough for me to write. . . I also hope that these ideas can give the landlord a reference.

Reply to the starry words:

Hello, after reading your message, I feel that you know a lot about psychology and must have your own opinions on this issue. I don't know whether it's my feelings or asking questions for my friends.

To tell you the truth, this question makes me a little embarrassed. Not unwilling to answer, but there is no standard answer. In fact, psychological counseling and treatment is a very personalized thing. Take physical discomfort as an example. Lumbago may be disc herniation or muscle and soft tissue injury. The treatment of the two is completely different, and the premise of forming a treatment plan is comprehensive and scientific examination and diagnosis. The same is true for dealing with psychological problems. Just like the question you are asking now, I don't have a comprehensive understanding of the situation and a scientific investigation and judgment process. The suggestion about "what to do" is likely to be invalid. I can also tell you to relax and talk to someone like everyone else, but this is not my professional opinion and what you want to hear, right? I fully understand your desire for answers. However, suppose two couples who are also consulting marriage, one is domestic violence, and the other is disagreement on children's education. Can you solve these two different problems with exactly the same consultation?

However, even so, I think there are some things that can be done. Before giving advice, I want to confirm your judgment on this question, that is, the questioner also belongs to the "normal majority", right? Secondly, you should also be aware of the confidentiality principle of psychological counseling, because every step of psychological counseling involves a lot of personal privacy information of visitors, and we communicate in such an open and anonymous way, which means that it is not convenient for you to disclose the privacy of the questioner. Therefore, I can only provide general knowledge and personal opinions, which are not universally applicable and cannot be guaranteed to be effective. How to deal with this problem will depend more on the questioner.

If you have no objection to these, let me talk about my own views and let you criticize and correct me.

Let's start with the scar. Calling it a "scar" rather than a "wound" means that the original wound has basically healed, right? Small wounds don't leave any scars, but they can heal seriously, but they will leave a scar that is not "tall". First of all, "recovery" means that there is no significant destructive impact on current life. If this is true, then we will discuss this issue within the scope of mental health care rather than psychotherapy, right? Therefore, it is important not to take what is not a problem as a problem. Questioners should understand that their mental state is basically healthy.

Secondly, if the questioner's wish is to improve his mental health, then I suggest that ta seriously consider the following questions, write down the thinking process and results on paper in order, and discuss them with the right people when necessary. This can help ta find the answer to the question "How to deal with it".

1. What do you think of this scar?

2. It may remind you of that injury experience and generate some emotions. What are these emotions (positive or negative)? What are their functions?

3. If the scar can talk, how will it prompt you? Will it tell you what benefits its existence can bring you?

4. Have you correctly understood all these benefits instead of misinterpreting the meaning of scars? "You can't trust anyone", is this all the true meaning that this scar wants to tell you?

When a person admits that "don't trust anyone" is an extreme concept, it means that ta already knows what is a non-extreme concept. In other words, we can judge what is wrong because we know what is right. Acting according to what you think is right is what normal people can do most of the time. In the treatment of patients with abnormal psychology or behavior, efforts to expand consciousness, such as subconscious consciousness, automatic thinking identification and testing, are the first work to be done in many therapies. For people with normal psychology, when they can answer what is "wrong" (or "right"), the self-adjustment of behavior will be a natural process. As for the specific methods, many enthusiastic netizens' suggestions are reasonable, such as sharing some real feelings and ideas with others. If you feel it is not appropriate to share a room with someone who has a working relationship, you can try to contact your former classmates and gradually cultivate trust. After all, your real interests with these people are not so close, and it is more likely to develop a safe emotional relationship. For example, learn to adapt to a person's state. People can't be at their best all the time, and losing interest in socializing may also be a signal released by the subconscious mind, telling us that there are some uncomfortable places in our hearts, so we should pay more attention to our own state and do a good job of introspection and sorting out. When dealing with the problem of solitude, the landlord can also refer to the above questions and explore for himself to see what your emotions or subconscious want to tell you when you are alone.

I offered a way to try, and that's all I can do here. Welcome flowers, welcome to pat bricks, hehe.