Talking about the routines of qq space

First, ducks are too noisy, always croaking, kittens love to spoil, always meowing, and puppies are always too noisy; You'd better count, even on weekends, stay in the circle and sleep. Have a nice weekend!

2. Today is the weekend. I solemnly tell you: sleep when you are sleepy, lean on the sofa when you are tired, laugh when you are happy, enlighten me when you forget your troubles, treat me to sweet cakes when you miss me, and trip over by ants when you go out!

Third, the person who received the message was an Egyptian mummy, the person who deleted the message was an African bug, the person who replied to the message was a Rwandan wild boar, and the person who did not reply was a Thai shemale who failed the operation!

4. You didn't contact me at the weekend. Don't you forget: without my company, your mood will be miserable and gloomy, happiness is doomed to miss you, life will be full of tears, and you can only keep company with pigs!

Five, life is: life, life ~

The longer you have contact with people, the more you like dogs. Dogs are always dogs, and people are sometimes not people!

Seven, the process of changing the object of love: after changing to a beautiful woman, I found that the appearance does not match; After becoming a rich girl, I found that consumption is not worth it; After changing to Shangguan's daughter, I found my position unworthy; After changing into a girl, I found that my posture was wrong; After changing into a lady, I found myself feeling wrong; After changing into a slut, I found that the hat was the wrong color. There is no perfect love in the world, it is more realistic to be romantic! I wish love happiness.

I don't believe anyone in this world is more stupid than me.

No matter how red a flower is, it needs green leaves. No matter how powerful a bird's wings are, it needs the help of air. No matter how white the teeth are, they need to be as close as lips and teeth, even if flowers are inserted in cow dung. I said, how can my flowers and plants live without you as fertilizer?

I had a dream last night, and you were the protagonist! I dreamed that you were panting after a pig with a kitchen knife. The pig suddenly knelt down and begged for mercy, saying, we are born from the same root, so why fry each other!

Eleven, your talk has the temperament of a scholar, your work has the temperament of a successful person, your dress has the temperament of a star, your body exudes a temperament, and even your feet exude athlete's foot!

Twelve, funny window preview: 1 new car on the road, there is a killer. 2 female driver+running-in+first time = devil Prada. 3 novice hand tide, the more urgent the face. 4 the brakes and throttle are inseparable, and they are all working! If you love me, chase me. Don't kiss me shyly!

Thirteen, I waited for your concern and closed my heart. ...

Do you have a TV there? Watch CCTV 1. The White House was bombed and the whole building collapsed. The police have sealed off the whole of Washington, 19 people were killed, 32 people were injured, 1 1 people were missing. . . More than n people have been cheated!

Fifteen, please, don't lose weight, let alone leave me! Don't you know, I never thought you were fat, and even prayed that you would never get thinner. The fatter the better! I like the way you look fat, no, it's love, love from the heart! Recently, however, you

Sixteen, mosquitoes fly to the sleeping baby's ass, and dad drives them away and puts toilet water on them (as www.guaze.com said). The baby woke up and shouted, Mom, the mosquito just peed on my ass!

Seventeen, from a distance, you are a beautiful woman who smiles shyly in the wind, but when you look closely, it turns out that the old demon with bones is playing tricks; From a distance, you are a handsome guy who dances gracefully, but from a close distance, it is difficult for Bajie to have a complete face. It's the weekend, don't scare me to sleep!

Eighteen, the phone rang, I want to chat with you; Ring twice and want to ask you to meet; Ring three times and I'll invite you to dinner. Ring four times, I'll spend you some money; Ring five times and I'll discharge you. Haha, turn it off.

Nineteen, the sky is rustling, the rain is fluttering, the wind is like a wolf howling, and the moon is like a broken knife. You are pushing a wooden chariot in the wind and rain, and suddenly! You stopped the chariot, glared at a house in front, and screamed at the sky; "It's broken!" .

Twenty, JR will always be JR, even if the economic crisis, you can't be expensive!

Twenty-one, ducks are too noisy, always croak, kittens love pets, always meow, and puppies are always too noisy; You'd better count, even on weekends, stay in the circle and sleep. Have a nice weekend!

Twenty-two, what should I do if I am hungry? Have a hot pot rinse! What if you are thirsty? Go to the seaside! What if I have no money? Find a fool to cheat! What should I do if I miss you? Look at the pigsty!

Twenty-three, the matchmaker took the woman on a blind date and looked at a handsome guy from a distance. Q: Is that okay? Woman: Will he? He fell in love with you at first sight. Seeing a one-eyed man after marriage, I asked the matchmaker angrily. A: I said he has a crush on you!

Twenty-four, if I have 6.5438+0 million, I will take you around the world and enjoy the famous mountains and rivers; If I have 65438+ million, I will give you a brand-name bag to let you enjoy the luxury feeling; If I have 1000 yuan, I will take you to the seaside and enjoy the leisure of the holiday; If I have 0. 1 10,000, I will bring it.

25. A lady came out of the bathtub and suddenly found a window cleaner seeing her. He was stunned and looked at the man stupefied. "What's the matter with you, madam? Haven't you ever seen a window cleaner? "

I see vicissitudes in your brow, confidence in your eyes, years on your forehead and leeks between your lips and teeth. Go brush your teeth!

Do you have a TV there? Watch CCTV 1. The White House was bombed and the whole building collapsed. The police have sealed off the whole of Washington, 19 people were killed, 32 people were injured, 1 1 people were missing ... n people were cheated!

28. You always send me away and always welcome me back. I will always remember this friendship and I will always be good to you. Don't worry, I'll buy some dog food tomorrow.

Twenty-nine, what are you looking at? Isn't it infertility?

Thirty, you gently lean on me, touch my tender skin with your slender hands, and suck my body fluids with your gentle mouth until you are satisfied and float away! Oh, damn mosquitoes!