My father's prose

Father squatted silently in the yard, smoking one inferior cigarette after another in despair, and his deep eyes were projected on the ground under his feet for a long time. Smoke, gray hair and empty courtyard make up a desolate picture.

This picture gradually becomes eternal. In recent years, every time I go home, I often see my father's distressing posture. Whenever this happens, I know that my father is distressed by the land that he has devoted countless efforts to but no longer belongs to him.

Father has unimaginable feelings for the land under his feet.

The earliest memory of my father is that when I was not in school, my father was holding a hoe and the villagers were laughing in the fields. At that time, it was still a rural cooperative, and the villagers were called members. My father is the production captain in the village. Although I am young, I can also help my mother to do some small jobs such as picking things up behind my ass, so I have the opportunity to see my father working in the field and appreciate his personality charm at close range. At that time, his every move, every word and deed fascinated me. It was many years before I knew that feeling was called worship.

As I remember, my father was always the first to go to work and the last to leave. When he was a captain, he didn't command others to watch like other captains, but walked in front with a shovel and a pick and said, "Let's go." The members were holding shovels and pickaxes, and the ground under his father's feet was already loose. In my naive eyes, his "let's go", his wave of hand and his bending over to dig the ground are as powerful as a general who commands thousands of troops. Under his leadership, the members rushed to work as fast and well as calves.

There were two production teams in the village at that time, and my father led the first team. The personnel distribution of the two teams is divided according to the living location, and the land in the village is divided equally by the two teams. The crops are harvested by each team, and whoever finishes first will rest. There is no unified schedule. The captain of the second team is much worse than his father. He is neither a good worker nor a leader. If members don't buy his account, his work will be ordinary and procrastinating. When the seedlings are still buried in the soil, there is no dependence. When the crops grow, the gap between the two teams will come out By the end of the year, the accountant calculated that the grain output of the first team was much higher than that of the second team, and all the members got dozens of kilograms of extra grain, all of whom were smiling. Now the people in the second team are unhappy, especially the old ladies, who are chattering around the village head secretary and clamoring for a new captain. Father also don't care, cheerfully should be down. At that time, my mother and I stayed in the first team together, watching my father and the second team members talking and laughing on the opposite side, directing them to run smoothly, and my heart was full of admiration.

Father said that people are diligent, not lazy.

Father said that the land will not fool those who treat it well.

Father said that people are wrong for a while and for a year.

I heard nodding my head again and again, and felt that my father was an all-powerful man. I think, when I grow up, I will marry a man like my father.

However, when I really grew up and experienced the hardships and difficulties of farm work, I became disgusted with the land and had an indescribable admiration for those who could walk out of the land and countryside. The halo on my father's head faded quietly in my heart. I even think that my father, who faces the loess all day, is really hopeless. I have asked him many times why others can move to the city to enjoy happiness and we can only stay in the countryside to suffer, and why others can take advantage of their position to seek benefits for themselves and their families, but he is resigned to being in the fields all day. At that time, my father had been the village party secretary for many years. Facing my question, he didn't explain a word. He smiled, shouldered his head and walked to the ground. Looking at my silent father, I have some dissatisfaction. I think he is stubborn, unable to be a man and doesn't know how to think about his family.

My father loves his feet. This land, this feeling, left this world, I can't feel it. I don't understand that a person can hide his mind so tightly.

I know my father only because of my eyes.

My eyes tell me that my father once wanted to leave this land. I clearly remember that for a time, there were many guests at home, and this was often the reason for them to leave. Sometimes people are still talking at 90 pm. I often put my mother's leg on the pillow to sleep, and when I wake up, the house is still brightly lit. By that time, I had gone to school and learned a lot. From their conversation, I know that my father wants to set up a factory to lead the villagers to get rich through industry and agriculture, and those people are all heard salesmen, including some liars who love to brag. They sell a variety of things, and they all say the same thing, but one thing is the same, that is, they all praise their own things, saying how to sell their own things well and how to meet the market demand. For these people, my father always holds a sincere heart. He treats other people's hearts with his habit of thinking about others, and his eyes can't see deception. I can see his desire and hope from his red eyes.

In the interest of money, the losers are always those who open their hearts to others like their fathers. Finally, he was cheated by his scheming father, and the factory gave up halfway, leaving a large deficit. My father is not a man who owes people money. Regret, he resigned as the village party secretary and led several young people in the village to contract the construction team. I don't have any skills or connections, but I just squeezed into a big city with one share of enterprising spirit and earned money back to fill the deficit. My father is forty-one years old. I remember it so clearly because after this incident, he repeatedly said, "It is said that forty-one is a bad year. I don't believe in this evil. I wanted to make a break and change my destiny, but I still didn't make it. " There is a superstition in the countryside that 4 1 year old is the year of "turtle", especially for men, when it comes to this year, it is often unlucky and doomed. Some people say that in this year, we should stay at home to avoid disaster, and we can't disobey God.

Father said that people should not be too timid all their lives, but should do what they want to do.

Father said, you never know how many bowls of dry rice you can eat without fighting.

Father said, who said that people can't compete with life, I will control my own destiny.

I looked at my father and thought he was a great philosopher. But I don't understand why, after the factory closed down, my father silently buried himself in the soil and never mentioned making a fortune and earning extra money again.

Later I learned that my father actually had a chance to get out of this land, but he gave up.

At that time, I had graduated from college, had my own job and had a stable source of income. A chat after dinner, occasionally talking about my grandfather who died for many years. My grandfather, a taciturn old man, doesn't say a word all day, just works hard. He has good cooking skills. Mom said that the county party secretary also praised grandpa's delicious food, which aroused my curiosity. Under my investigation, I know that my father was honest and brainless when he was a secretary in his early years. The leaders of the commune and the county are particularly optimistic about him and like to associate with him. Once the commune secretary accompanied the county party secretary to the countryside and stayed at my house for dinner at noon. It was a spoon in grandpa's palm. While eating, the secretary of the county party Committee repeatedly praised "the craftsmanship of the elderly is really good." Later, he came several times. At that time, tickets were needed for shopping, and he sent a ten-catty meat ticket on his second visit. Mother said that if my father wanted to leave the countryside and settle in the city at that time, he could just say a word, but he didn't say a word in the face of hints from the county leaders.

My father said that I never wanted to leave the countryside. If I really want to stay in the city, I won't come back when I am demobilized. My father patted my hand as he spoke. I came back because of your mother. At that time, their orphans and widows were bullied in the village, so I had to come back to support the portal. I said, oh, why don't you stay in town? Otherwise, I would be a cadre's child now, and I wouldn't have to go so far to work in a place where rabbits don't shit. My mother's face flashed with disappointment when she heard this. I'm busy joking. It's a good thing you came back, otherwise there would be no me.

It was a long time before we talked again. Memories after many years still feel warm. At that time, I also knew that my young father had done two great things to disturb the commune and the county party Committee. Fortunately, his popularity is good, and many people protect him, otherwise he wouldn't even have to be a farmer.

The first time I said it was an unintentional mistake. At that time, every village had commune cadres. On that day, the commune cadres came and met their father leading the members to work in the fields. Looking at this large area of land and crops, they can't help saying, "It will take a few days to plant so much." Hearing this, the father of the branch secretary immediately replied, "If you allow us to do some sideline business, I promise to harvest all the crops in half a day." The cadre thought it was a joke and said smoothly, "If you can finish it in half a day, I will allow you to engage in sideline business." Cadres are packed in several villages, so they are anxious to visit other villages and then leave, and they don't take this seriously.

The so-called speaker is unintentional, and the listener is intentional. Father immediately announced: "Come on, everyone, let's go to the seaside after work." Our village is near the sea. It is the dream of every villager to dig some seafood in the sea to improve their lives and supplement their families. But at that time, it was a capitalist road, and no one dared to go to the sea to pick up fresh fish and live shrimp. Seeing his father's speech, the members jumped into the stadium with joy, and no one would stop to have a rest during the break. Just after noon, all the crops in this large area have been harvested.

At noon, the whole village was boiling, and everyone was busy looking for fishing rods, collecting fish money and packing all kinds of tools for going to sea. At that time, peaches were ripe. I held the big peach my mother picked for me and chewed it sweetly. I can't figure out why adults go in and out excitedly. In the evening, when delicious seafood was eaten in my mouth, I finally learned the ins and outs from my parents.

However, my father was taken away before the smile on my face reached its maximum. As the leader who led the whole village to the capitalist road, his father was criticized for his heinous crimes. I don't know what happened, except that my father didn't come home for a few days and my mother secretly cried every night.

The second time, my father did it on purpose. Although my father was criticized for the incident of rushing to the sea, the leaders still looked at him with new eyes, and his official hat was not lost. He is still in charge of the big and small things in the village. Father didn't want to be lonely, and he didn't know where to find out that there is an efficient chemical fertilizer in Northeast China, which can yield twice as much in the field as that in plant ash. At that time, there was no money, and it was illegal to buy and sell fertilizer privately, but my father didn't believe in this evil. Without money, he came up with a way to barter things. On a dark and windy night in a month, a boat of piglets was smuggled out to sea. In order to prevent the pig's barking from attracting attention, the pig's mouth was tied tightly. There was a storm at sea that night, but the fertilizer was successfully brought back. The father who won the first battle was so excited that he was brewing a second deal, but he was reported.

There is no airtight wall in the world. No one noticed when transporting piglets that day. When transporting fertilizer back, several people were heard because of their excitement and loud voices. As a result, the paper couldn't wrap the fire and all the stuffing leaked.

When the news reached the commune, the secretary of the commune was angry and annoyed and immediately ordered his father to be dismissed. But next year, there will be a bumper harvest in the whole village, and this matter will go away. It has been more than ten years since my father was once again promoted to the position of village party secretary.

Father said that he was courageous and wanted to buy more food, but he didn't think about anything else.

Father said, if the grain output really increases, I can eat enough, and it's worth being locked up for a few years.

Father secretly said, you don't know, I have already struck a table with the commune secretary, and he can't help it.

My mother told me that if my father was not grumpy and determined to die, his relationship with the leader would not be so stiff. For more than ten years, no one cares, no one asks, and he is still a farmer.

At that moment, the tough appearance that my father tried to maintain was completely removed, and I understood my father's warm feelings for the land under my feet.

I can't imagine what kind of pain it is today, more than ten years later, when my father is old and stepped down from the position of village party secretary and watched the land he built with his own hands divided, sold and built by the new young people in the village.

I will never forget that night. That night, just after dinner, I received a phone call from my mother. On the phone, my mother's voice was hesitant, hesitant and cautious. It took me a long time to understand that my father wanted to contract land and the elder brother of the village party secretary wanted to contract to plant saplings. My father is stubborn and respected in the village. The village party secretary is in my brother's heart, carrying it on both sides. Finally, the village party secretary stated that whoever takes 40,000 first will give the land to whom. The aggressive father immediately took out his savings for many years and counted it, still short of 20 thousand yuan. At that time, I had just been married for three years, and my monthly salary was only over 500. Twenty thousand was all my savings. Fortunately, Mr. Wang is a reasonable man and doesn't care about the money. I tossed and turned all night, hesitated, and took out the money and sent it to my father.

The land was successfully contracted for 20 years. Father waved the contract in his hand and his face was full of childish smiles. I don't understand why my father has been busy all his life, unable to see the world, and has to toss and turn when he is old. I can't figure out how much profit is left except for the distribution of village grain, the money for purchasing agricultural machinery and tools and the cost of employees. Father is smoking hard. I can't let them spoil all the good land. Farmers have to live on land.

Father carefully calculated each piece of land, leveled the land and applied sufficient fertilizer. In order to preserve soil moisture, he didn't spray herbicides, and all weeds were removed by his hands. From morning till night, he spends time in the fields with his employees. He is proud that he is more capable than those employees and has no idea that he is an old man in a flower. He repeatedly said to the employees, work hard and I won't lose you a penny.

In order to harvest crops conveniently, my father bought a full set of agricultural machinery, and he was determined to do a big job.

The wheat is ripe, and the ears of wheat are golden and heavy; Autumn is coming, the corn is thick and straight, the soybeans are full, and the green peanuts are swaying in the wind ... Looking at these, my father smiled proudly, as if the hard work of one year had paid off.

In fact, my father's hard work has not been rewarded, that is, in the year when he contracted land, food prices fell sharply. The price of wheat has dropped to half of that of previous years. Corn, for the first time, has the equal qualification with wheat, and even has the momentum of catching up.

This season, my father's fields are full of wheat, and other crops are just supplements between fields. In order not to delay the wheat harvest in the wheat harvest season, my father also invested nearly/kloc-0.0 million yuan to buy a wheat harvester, which was borrowed from the bank. The income from grain sales at the end of the year, after deducting employees' salaries and various expenses, is almost zero.

My family advised my father not to grow any more food. According to the current situation, planting flowers, grass and trees is more cost-effective than growing grain. Father smoked gloomily and said nothing. Then calculate the fertilizer needed in spring one by one.

Someone suggested to his father that employees' wages should be deducted for one year first, so that at least the money for buying chemical fertilizers in spring can be delayed without borrowing from the east and the west. Father flatly refused: "I won't do that immoral thing." The man smiled and said, "As far as your mind is concerned, you can inquire, including those who made a lot of money in the first year of contracting land. Who pays employees according to the number of people? " Father still said, "I won't do that immoral thing."

My father settled the employees' wages by the number and went to the fertilizer monopoly in the neighboring village to buy fertilizer on credit. Although it is much more expensive than going to wholesale in the city, my father said it would be reassuring.

Father has no intention of making money by contracting land. He is reluctant to leave the land he has worked hard for decades. But things can never be predicted, and my father never thought that his little wish could not be realized. The village Committee decided to recover the land and unilaterally tear up the contract. This year, the country has just introduced a new policy, and farming does not have to pay public grain and various expenses. Not only that, the state also subsidizes large farm tools purchased by farmers themselves. Father's spring has just arrived.

Unified planning of land in the village. One by one, my father held several contracts for land contracting for 20 years, and the land was no longer under his control. Father insisted again and again, and only got more than ten acres of barren second-class land.

Those reclaimed land, uphill land that is inconvenient for watering, have been leveled and ready to be Gai Lou in batches; Some of the best irrigated fields have become orchards, and some have planted large pieces of dry branches with different shapes and hung up the big brand of "flower and plant cultivation base". In the blink of an eye, 200 acres of land collapsed.

As compensation, my father was arranged to smoke, drink tea and read newspapers in the village Committee office, with an annual salary of several thousand yuan.

We all thank our father. No matter what the result is, he finally doesn't have to work hard all day in the sun and rain, and he doesn't have to be careful. But my father was silent and his smile was wiped from his face. He smoked harder and stared at the ground under his feet.

Whenever I see dad like this, I can't help crying. In the dim tears, my father squatted on the steps of the door in a customary posture and lit a cigarette. Smoke rings and gray hair quickly merged with the vast world.