Joke Collection Website - Talk about mood - A sad story about a bleeding heart: Cut my heart with a knife and say you love me. My dear, you are so funny.
A sad story about a bleeding heart: Cut my heart with a knife and say you love me. My dear, you are so funny.
1. Secret love is sacred and must be based on the happiness of the other person. If there is pain, you should keep it to yourself
2. I no longer know how to be a human being without you, how can I still have the strength to love others.
3. I am ashamed that I have nothing to tell you because I am worried about you
4. [As long as I want to win, you are a scumbag;]
5. Legend has it that your best friend is the lover you missed in your previous life, so you are inseparable in this life.
6. The missed years bloom into beautiful flowers in loneliness, but they waste the spring and summer of reincarnation.
7. Tears are to prove that I have loved you for the whole past time
8. Cut my heart with one knife and say you love me, my dear, you are so humorous.
9. Memory is like water poured into the palm of your hand. No matter whether you spread it out or hold it tightly, it will eventually flow cleanly from your fingers.
10. Now People are so good at pretending, pretending, pretending, are you a plastic bag?
11. Forgive me for being naturally withdrawn and unable to say warm words.
12. I feel so much now!
13. Whenever I have a nosebleed, I always look up at the sky at an angle
14. Boring life , Sadness renders the black night sky... Humorous sentences about old people drinking together
Humorous sentences about old people drinking together Part 1
1. The young man left home and the boss came back, this cup I invite the lady to accompany me.
2. If you are happy in life, you must have all the fun, and don’t let the golden bottle stand empty against the moon.
3. Emotions are so strong that they can’t stop drinking.
4. The disciplinary inspection cadres do not drink, so there is no clue at all.
5. As difficult as life is, drinking will make you choke. Eight times out of ten things will go wrong with drinking.
6. Drinking strong wine that is not drunk cannot relieve the sorrow of missing the green flowers.
7. Wine gives people courage, and wine makes people passionate.
8. I would rather have a hole in my stomach than a crack in my relationship.
9. Raise your butt and drink again.
10. He told me not to drink because it would hurt my stomach. I said my heart would hurt if I put down the glass of wine.
11. Don’t cry when the wind blows, or get drunk when you drink alcohol.
12. Drinking is everywhere in life.
13. The east wind blows, the war drums thunder, who is afraid of drinking today!
14. The longer the wine is, the mellower it is, the longer the friendship is, the more true it is; the longer the water flows, the clearer it becomes, and the vicissitudes of the world become lighter and lighter.
15. Wine is like water in a bottle. Drink it until your stomach becomes haunted. You talk nonsense and walk with your legs crossed. You get up in the middle of the night to look for water. You regret it in the morning.
16. Youth is dedicated to the small wine table, and you will drink it all the time!
17. As long as you and I have a good relationship, we can drink as much as we can.
18. Thousands of mangroves and clouds in the mountains, the wine is smoked by the sun.
19. If you drink well, the wine will taste good. If you drink good wine, the wine will taste good.
20. Wine is the most polite thing in the world. Part 2 of humorous sentences about old people drinking together
21. If you don’t get drunk once in your life, you will regret it for the rest of your life; if you get drunk often in your life, you will regret it for the rest of your life.
22. Don’t drink alcohol in general. If you don’t drink ordinary wine, drinking is extraordinary.
23. Those who can drink one tael drink two taels, such friends are generous; those who can drink two taels drink five taels, such friends are cultivated; those who can drink half a catty drink one catty, such Guys are the most considerate; if you can drink a kilogram, drink a bucket, you will be promoted to vice president; if you can drink a bucket, drink a tank, you will be the director of the winery;
24. If you have wine today, you will be drunk today. , turn the stove over and drink cold water.
25. Time flies by like lightning and is hard to catch up. How many times can you be happy when you are 100 years old?
26. Art for the sake of art is no more meaningful than drinking for the sake of drinking.
27. Drunk and sober, the mentality is different!
28. You ask me if I feel happy drinking alone. I tell you that I lack a lot in my life, but you are the only one I don’t lack.
29. For people who don’t drink, the only reason to drink is who is drinking with them.
30. If a man doesn’t drink, he will live like a dog and walk in this world in vain. If he lives like a eunuch, he will not be able to make good friends;
31. If you drink nine taels a day, focus on training. .
32. It’s rare to get drunk a few times in life, what’s so rare about me?
33. The lady clinked glasses with the leader: The leader is on top and I’m on the bottom, you can choose as many as you want.
34. If you run away as soon as you drink, it’s too early for promotion.
35. I heard that the porridge can fill the stomach, but the wine can fill the heart.
36. Show your talents in times of crisis, and the younger sister drinks a glass of Songhe wine for her brother;
37. Brothers are thousands of miles apart, so they should drink this cup.
38. No one understands your frown, no one gets drunk with you and blames me for asking for trouble, I want to understand your discomfort.
39. It’s hard to find talents if you drink too much.
40. It looks like water, tastes spicy, causes ghosts when you drink it, stumbles your legs when walking, looks for water at night, and regrets waking up early. Part 3 of humorous sentences about old people drinking together
41. Years of lovesickness can only be expressed with the addition of two ounces of white wine.
42. A thousand cups of wine are less than a thousand cups with a close friend. Drink as much as you can. If you can't drink, run away.
43. Drink nine amounts in one drink and focus on training.
44. Don’t blame men for smoking, and don’t blame women for drinking. Smokers have stories. People who drink have something on their mind.
45. If men and women don’t drink, there is no chance at all.
46. If you have deep feelings, you will feel stuffy in one mouthful; if you have shallow feelings, you will lick it; if you have thick feelings, you will not drink enough; if you have strong feelings, you will bleed after drinking;
47. If the relationship is iron or not, then there is no fear of stomach bleeding; if the relationship is deep, if it is deep, then there is no fear of intravenous bleeding.
48. You may not take the initiative, but you will not refuse or be responsible.
49. The theoretical basis of the winery campaign is that small things can be done with a little wine, big things can be done with a lot of wine, good things can be done after a long time, and nothing can be done without wine.
50. The kind of people who will perish together if they drink alcohol
51. Bold words and wine make heroes brave. Use sweet words to persuade your friends to drink more. Talking nonsense and having no depth of mind. Without saying a word, enter the dream. Talking to myself, waking up and regretting constantly.
52. The greatest sorrow is: To be happy only with what is in the cup is to lament that you are ignorant.
53. If I don’t drink, where will I put the good Chinese wine?
54. If you can drink without losing, you are the leader’s secretary.
55. If the first person you think of when you are drunk will be the person you love the most.
56. Wine is the essence of food, the more you drink, the younger you become;
57. Standing on your legs, drinking does not count.
58. The hangover medicine my wife bought on the wedding day can only be kept for my son to use in eighteen years.
59. If you have wine now, you will be drunk now. Don’t be too tired in life.
60. In the virgin stage, be careful and guard. In the young woman stage, half push and half give. In the prime of life, everything is not enough. In the widow stage, I come to fight with you. In the old lady stage, if it doesn’t work, she still cheats. I asked about it humorously on the wedding anniversary and said that it is very cheap to get married now, so I thought of you
1. It is love that brings you together. It is love that connects our hearts. May we be happy every year. Like the beginning of love.
2. May the fire of your sincere love for each other be like the rising sun, becoming more and more prosperous as time goes by; so that even the waters cannot extinguish it and the floods cannot drown it!
3. Although I know Distant lovesickness is very painful, but I still choose to love you; even though I know that the meeting in the dream is very short, I still choose to dream; even though I know that waiting for you is very painful, I still choose to wait forever p>
4. Loving you is a warm sadness, a romantic feeling, a gentle gesture, and a love that I want to say but have to say! Happy anniversary, my dear!
5. He is the lyrics, you are the score, and the two of you are a harmonious song. A match made in heaven, the luan and the phoenix sing in harmony.
6. Wife: I regret listening to your sweet words and marrying you. Husband: I also regret those sweet words. Wife: How are we going to celebrate our wedding anniversary? Husband: How about a minute of silence?
7. I am busy preparing for the wedding, taking wedding photos and looking at the new house. My parents gather together and become a happy family. Relatives and friends come to greet me. Brothers and sisters wish me good luck. My heart is as sweet as honey. I wish all my family members a happy marriage. Good health, happy wife singing, happy and beautiful bride!
8. There is no account opening fee for love, no roaming fee for friendship, no monthly fee for love, and true love is more valuable than a thousand pieces of gold. Our love lasts forever year after year~
9. Because of you, my world will be so perfect. Loving you is my only reason! Kiss you! I will rest on your pillow every night. Name to fall asleep!
10. I am thinking of you every day of the year, every hour of the day, every minute of the hour, and every second of the minute.
11. With a grateful heart, I send this text message to bring you my thoughts, and sincerely connect you and me. In this way, we have encountered a beautiful encounter in this life, and our love is boundless. I love you and want to hold your hand and move forward.
12. I sing with the voice of the King of K-Songs that you are the future, why do I love you so much? It turns out that I don’t love you enough, please let me continue to love you
13. May every move you make, wherever you go, whatever situation you encounter, and whatever work you do, be of a new kind; may you not follow the counsel of the wicked, stand in the way of sinners, or sit in the seat of the scornful, but be sanctified. , meditate on the law of the Lord day and night; like a fruit tree planted by the stream, it bears fruit in season, and its leaves do not wither; everything you do will go well!
14. Shopping two days ago I passed by the Civil Affairs Bureau and saw a lot of people there. When I asked about it, I heard that getting married is very cheap now, so I thought of you. Come on, let’s get married too. I invite you!
15. Romantic fate is God’s arrangement, and the myth of love is the eternal future. You are the most beautiful flower in my heart, which will never wither despite the wind and rain; I am the most beautiful cloud on your eyebrow, which will never melt no matter the ice and snow. Holding hands in this life is not enough, but it will still be the same in the next life. On this beautiful occasion of our fourth wedding anniversary, this is my truest promise to you.
16. Singing love songs to you is my strength, making you laugh is my specialty, being by your side is my responsibility, keeping you in my heart is my wish, and loving you is just like this No negotiation! It’s our fourth wedding anniversary, dear wife, are you satisfied with what I have done?
17. See the stories of you and me in every corner around you, and slowly taste the love and hate between us. I want you to give me a place of peace of mind. My dear, thank you for accompanying me through this year. I really feel very happy.
18. Although the seas and rocks are far away have become legends, the age of the earth has become a myth, the love of modern people is silent day by day, and the love is getting tired day by day, I firmly believe: there is love in the world of mortals, and it will remain the same through the ages!
19. The so-called love interest is the feeling of wanting to eat cake after having love and bread; the so-called affair is sneaking out of the siege and falling into a trap; the so-called romance means that when you buy cabbage for your wife, you will bring it back. A rose; the so-called kitchen is right in front of where the red carpet leads to when getting married.
20. I dare not say that I will wait for you all my life, because I don’t have a few four years to waste. But believe that I will love you forever, because no one can give me what you gave me.
21. May your love be more beautiful than the sprinkles; more fragrant than the anointing oil; sweeter than the honey dripping from the honeycomb; and more precious than the most precious treasures!
< p> 22. Love is art, marriage is technology, and divorce is arithmetic.23. Being single is called a bachelor, getting married is called stripping, a first marriage is called consecration, a second marriage is called reflection, divorce is called polishing, a flash marriage is called flashing, a bachelor party is called borrowing the light, and being on blind dates is called being exposed. , the TV marriage proposal is called exposure. Singles' Day is here, no matter you are naked or not, come and enjoy the glory. I believe there will always be bright sunshine in life!
24. When in love, be like a grandson, obedient; after engagement, be like a son, learn to talk back; after marriage, be like me, give orders!
25. Today, flowers are fragrant for you, birds sing for you, happiness spreads its sweet wings, happiness sings loudly in the sunshine, lovers in love walk into the wedding hall, may you run hand in hand. Be happy and happy forever.
26. In this spring day when flowers are blooming and the flowers are blooming, you two will always be in love with each other. As the saying goes, a pair is born and a pair is born from the earth! I wish you two love and grow old together!
27. I was shopping and passed by the Civil Affairs Bureau two days ago. I saw a lot of people there. When I asked about it, I said that it is very cheap to get married now, so I thought of you. Come on, let’s get married too. I invite you. !
28. Baby, I love you, take care of yourself when I am away; no matter how far away, I must come back to be with you.
29. May the singing of joy always accompany you, may your married life be filled with joy and cheerfulness, and may you be bathed in endless happy years forever. I wish you a happy wedding
Thirty. May my blessings be like high and low wind chimes, bringing you the jingling joy, and then send you a bunch of fluttering breeze to carry my blessings to you. I whisper to you all the time. 2021 Short and Humorous Sayings
1. If I can’t die in her heart, then let her die in my hands.
2. Don’t compare with me who is lazier, I am too lazy to compare with you.
3. I am really a carefree person. As soon as the winter vacation left, I was thinking about the summer vacation.
4. Your appearance is so twists and turns that I can’t help but marvel at the magic of your parents.
5. You must like me, otherwise I would be so good-looking in vain.
6. Miss, my proud figure is called natural beauty.
7. I still have the same tone, and I still have the same high profile.
8. My life is okay, neither good nor bad, neither surprised nor happy, everything is just okay.
9. You and I are young and frivolous, and we are not afraid of the passage of time.
10. I'm in a bad mood today. I just want to say four sentences, including the first two sentences. I'm done.
11. Don’t use your own rules of life to stipulate that I do the same thing as you.
12. I am not a horse, but I am not an ordinary donkey either.
13. Today I was wearing headphones to listen to music, but found that there was no sound on the left side. After examination, I found that it was a false alarm. It turned out that the left ear was deaf. I thought the headphones were broken, which shocked me.
14. I also want to buy an iPad, but college students only know how to donate sperm, while high school students only know how to sell kidneys. It’s terrible to be uneducated!
15. As long as you are cruel enough, nothing in this world will make you sad.
16. With my sister’s expression of contempt for you, run all the way away from my sight.
17. Don’t call me when you go out on Valentine’s Day? Come and pick me up directly, be fast and have a cool posture.
18. Don’t look at me from your perspective. I’m afraid you won’t understand.
19. How can a girl like me maintain her beauty without any weight?
20. I don’t need everyone to nod when I do things. I live to make people who hate me more and more unhappy.
21. High school students are all trying to be handsome to seduce girls, while junior high school students are still pouting and looking cute.
22. Do you like Sleeping Beauty? Like it, but never sleep with it.
23. Strictly speaking, my funny thing is to make you giggle like a pig. Humorous sentences that will make you laugh every day
If life deceives you, don’t be sad or impatient. Check out these humorous quotes that will make you smile every day, and you'll be in a better mood in no time.
A selection of humorous sentences that will make you laugh every day
1. When you get up every day, you will find that hunger will lose to laziness. Hungry and laziness are generally the losers of urine.
2. There is always a kind of selfless person in the world who would rather make themselves unhappy than make others unhappy.
3. Six unattainable things in life: Immortality elixir, regret medicine, and train tickets from the Ministry of Railways. Love-forgetting water, love flower poison, Alipay’s dedication blessing.
4. The road to success is always under construction
5. Tell me, do you want to die or not live anymore?
6 . My mother said that a prodigal son cannot exchange for gold, so who will give me gold? I will exchange for it.
7. Being so shameless and heartless, you should be very light.
8. If you push me again, I will pretend to be dead for you!
9. When happiness knocks on the door, I may not be at home.
10. In the colorful world, I am too serious.
11. I don’t have that much emotion, I just want someone to accompany me.
12. When people are sad, no matter how happy the music is, they will not stop crying.
13. You said you would wait for me to come back, but you did and found someone to wait with you.
14. Are you tired? Just be tired, comfort is reserved for the dead.
Recommended humorous sentences that will make you smile every day
1. If you can’t reach it, try stepping on your left foot and your right foot
2. Women have no talent That is virtue, I think I must be too wicked.
3. The cashier said there is no change, please give me two plastic bags!
4. There are so many people who despise me, who are you?
< p> 5. Don’t worry if you leave it to me, nothing can go wrong!6. Don’t be nervous, I’m not a good person
7. You don’t care about me, Then I’ll be a dog and ignore it!
8. Question: Why can harm be done from such a distance, but comfort must be done by one’s side?
9 . Answer: Who said that, just give out red envelopes.
10. I heard that Hu Jianren would pronounce the anti-fraud guide as a porn guide. After reciting it several times, I can no longer find the original flower tone.
11. What does it mean to say important things three times? It means: say it once, say it once on Weibo, and say it again in Moments. . .
12. A modern poem, "Bole": I wrote a joke/My father's brother laughed.
13. People nearby actively add you. If he is a man, he is a pervert, and if he is a woman, he is a micro-businessman!
14. Some people are alive, and she is dead. Some people are alive, and he should have died long ago!
15. Zi once said: Don’t regard my tolerance of you as your shameless capital!
16. I have loved you for a long time! I have been waiting for you for a long time! Now, I am leaving you. , longer than a long, long time.
17. For women, being beautiful is an advantage, and living a beautiful life is a skill.
18. The higher the QQ online rate, the more lonely the person is.
19. I am young and need your guidance, but I don’t need your pointing.
20. I have passed by a person countless times, and my clothes were all torn and there were no sparks.
21. Boredom is the feeling one has towards the plate after eating the food on it.
/p>
24. As a typical failure, you are so successful!
25. I skipped too many classes. I wanted to go to class yesterday. When I saw the professor, he was surprised and said that it took so long No, you’ve grown so big.
26. People who say money is a sin, everyone is trying to make money; people who say beauty is a disaster, everyone wants it; people who say it is too cold to reach high places, everyone is trying to climb; people who say smoking and drinking are harmful to the body, but they don’t quit; people who say heaven is the best It’s wonderful, don’t go!
27. Instead of planting grass so that no one can lie on it, why not plant cacti instead!
28. I am a little short-sighted, but I don’t lack it; I have a very bad temper Good, but not nothing!
29. The difference between people and pigs is: pigs are always pigs, but people are sometimes not people!
30. I spent ten thousand yuan to buy a Western Zhou Dynasty The clay pot was appraised in the "Treasure Appraisal" column yesterday. The expert said seriously: This is from the Western Zhou Dynasty? This is from last week!
31. The world is so chaotic, who can pretend to be pure?
32. Distance does not produce beauty, but mistress.
33. Life is like making a phone call, either you hang up first or I hang up first.
34. I don’t even believe your punctuation.
35. A man’s strength is the RMB in your pocket.
36. Hey, is your coffin a flip-top or a sliding-top?
37. B is not just the pencil, but also you.
38. Smiling is just an expression and has nothing to do with happiness.
39. I should have been heartless a long time ago, so there is no need to be heartless now.
40. Now that I think about it, kindergarten is still easy to mess around with.
41. Don’t be so nice to me that I can’t tell whether it’s love or friendship. Humorous love message sentences Humorous love message sentences
Humorous love message sentences
1. Everyone should love animals because they are delicious.
2. Format yourself just to delete you.
3. If you can’t put your woman into a wedding dress, then never stop unbuttoning her clothes!
4. Love is mean, and Still making mistakes again and again. Whenever you stop being a bitch, a woman will come.
5. Asking you how much sorrow you can have is like a group of eunuchs going to a brothel.
6. The dinosaur that degenerates three times a day is the strongest waste material in human history.
7. Being pregnant is like being pregnant. It takes a long time for people to see it.
8. I have lost my appetite when I see you, so why talk about sexual desire?
9. The most wonderful thing in life is not the moment when you realize your dream, but the process of persisting in your dream!
10. Success is 3% talent plus 97% not being distracted by the Internet.
11. Smart people are unmarried, and it is difficult for married people to become smart again.
12. Sorry, the user you dialed is married.
13. The departure of the stool is the pursuit of the toilet, or the lack of retention of the butt.
14. Love makes people forget time, and time makes people forget love.
15. Love that cannot feel pain is not true love, and a marriage that cannot feel happiness must be a sad marriage.
16. Smart people are unmarried, and it is difficult for married people to become smart again.
17. Work is so fun! Especially watching others work.
18. I woke up in the middle of the night without a good dream and heard the cat meowing. Although I like cats, I don't dare to bark in front of others.
19. While others pretend to be competent, I have to pretend to be experienced.
20. If you like someone, there will be no pain. Loving someone may cause long-lasting pain, but the happiness they give me is also the greatest happiness in the world.
21. What makes you tired is not the mountains in the distance, but the grain of sand in your shoes.
22. People who are offline never know how long the person who is online has been waiting for her.
23. Although the famous flower has its owner, I will loosen the soil!
24. Sometimes the biggest joy when queuing up for food in the canteen is not that there are fewer and fewer people in front of you. There are more and more people waiting behind.
The beauty of knowledge lies in making people confused; the beauty of poetry lies in inciting men and women to cheat; the beauty of women lies in being so stupid that they have no regrets; the beauty of men lies in lying so that they can see ghosts in daylight.
Humorous sentences about love
1. Make other people’s money and let poverty go to hell.
2. If you ignore me, I will become a dumpling, and he is also the most famous in Tianjin
3. Before I had time to get involved, I was plucked out.
4. Rich people will eventually get married, and lovers will eventually get married.
5. You can see the words I type on the screen, but you can’t see the tears I shed on the keyboard.
6. A good horse doesn’t eat grass that turns back, so a good horse always goes hungry.
7. It is said that women are like clothes and brothers are like brothers. Looking back, I actually ran around naked for 20 years.
8. I thought that a bird cannot fly across the sea, because I thought that a bird does not have the courage to cross the sea. Ten years later, I discovered that it is not that a bird cannot fly across the sea, but that the other side of the sea has long been No more waiting
9. When a woman cries, a man will lose.
10. The only knife technique that women should practice is the knife technique for cutting vegetables. For women, this knife technique is more effective than any other knife technique.
11. If you fall in love in college, you will regret it for four years. If you don’t fall in love in college, you will regret it for the rest of your life!
12. I want to fall in love early, but it is too late
13 . You are the sun in my heart. It is a pity that it rains. You are the moon in my dream. It is a pity that it is covered by clouds. You are the most beautiful flower in my heart. It is a pity that it has bloomed. You are the Chang'e from the sky who came to the world. It is a pity that the face came first.
14. I like people who are half-hearted: they love me, have confidence in me, and are responsible for me; they speak creatively and satisfy me!
15. When arguing with someone, take a step back and the sky will be brighter; when chasing your girlfriend, take a step back and the sky will be empty.
Selection of humorous love messages
1. If a woman wants to please herself, she will tolerate a man who wants to please herself, but he will be poor!
2. Mom said it is best not to miss someone. Two things, the last bus home and someone who loves you deeply
3. Love me discount, free for a year!
4. If you see the shadow in front of you , don’t be afraid, that’s because there is sunshine behind you
5. Before marriage, I hope that what you have is mine, and what is mine is yours. After marriage, I am sure that what is yours is mine, and what is mine is yours. After divorce, you are still yours and I am still mine.
6. Running snail.
7. Isn’t face just for picking up girls? If you have a girl, why do you need face?
8. A man’s image has only one purpose: to pick up girls. So once a girl gets it, she will sadly find that this man has no image at all.
9. If there are ten thousand people in the world who love you, I must be among them. If there is only one person in the world who loves you, that person must be me. If no one in the world loves you, then I must be dead.
10. If I can meet you by burning incense for one year, get to know you by burning incense for three years, and cherish each other by burning incense for ten years, for the happiness of my next life, I am willing ...Convert to God
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