Written seven months after quitting sex...

It’s been a long time since I’ve written about rebooting. Let me talk about myself after 7 months of rebooting.

I remember that I first started quitting in November last year. Seven months passed in the blink of an eye. It’s quite fast now that I think about it. At that time, the changes in the first three months of quitting were indeed huge. I remember that I feel a lot more energetic now. The most direct ones are: blackheads, acne, oily skin, and facial swelling are significantly improved than before. My physical fitness has also been greatly improved, and my weight has increased significantly. At that time, I was lucky enough to have an article that exceeded 1.2 million views. I was very happy at that time and felt that I had found the direction of my life.

When I went home to celebrate the New Year, many people said that I had become much more energetic and handsome. When I came back, I was full of enthusiasm and wanted to go home and do something to spend time with my wife and children.

But not long after we returned home, our relationship began to deteriorate. At that time, we had quarrels every three days over trivial matters. The most common thing she talked about every day was divorce. This was also the most difficult time in our five years of marriage. In a bad year, each other's happiness index dropped to zero, and they almost got divorced several times.

Four months have passed since we bumped into each other. I have become silent and have no energy all day long. I spend every day in depression and anxiety. My wife complains all day long that she can’t see her. The hope of life is to numb myself with work every day. As soon as I stop, my mind will be full of grievances.

After half a year, I gradually lost interest in reading. In fact, I didn’t have the patience to read at all, and I stopped meditating. I remember that at that time, whenever I wanted to meditate, my mind was filled with things at home, and I couldn’t think of anything at all. Can't continue.

I often wonder what is the purpose of getting married? Why two people's lives are getting worse and worse. The desire to quit sex also began to waver. Sometimes I thought, since I can’t find warmth at home, why not go out and look for it. However, I just thought about it at the time, and I still didn't want to give up on this marriage.

When I was in a bad mood during this period, I often read some peripheral news, which was somewhat obscene. But what is gratifying is that during this worst time, I never broke through watching porn and masturbating once. Of course, sleeping with your wife during this period is unavoidable. I don’t know if this is considered a relapse. If it is, it was broken in the first month after returning home during the Chinese New Year. However, the impotence and premature ejaculation were more serious at that time. Now the impotence is better, but the premature ejaculation is still not ideal.

Four months after I came back, my body seems to have returned to its previous state. My weight has dropped from the original 130 pounds to 114 pounds. My whole body is dark and thin. I feel exhausted and feel dizzy all day long. Sleeping, listless every day.

It may be the result of dual physical and mental pressure. I know that my health is getting worse and worse, and something will definitely go wrong if I continue like this, so I decided to appropriately strengthen my rebooting efforts. Although my wife is by my side and my rebooting effect cannot be as good as before, I still have to adjust myself.

I think the best way next is to exercise more, meditate every day, study more, adjust your mentality, and continue to output.