4-person comic sketch

Ladies and gentlemen, friends and compatriots! Men and women, men, women and men-

You don't have to introduce yourself.

Let me introduce myself. I'm from Beijing Accident Travel Company.

B I know "accident"

A Because our company's activities are more unexpected than "accidents", it is called "accidents".

B yes.

Are you going to take part in the "Happy Journey" activity?

B: That's right.

A I'm the tour guide for this activity.

Can you be more specific?

A: First of all, the scale and social impact of our activity exceeded your expectations.

Is it?

A: For example, the National Tourism Administration, China Tourism Corporation, Beijing Municipal Bureau of Cultural Relics, Beijing Municipal Bureau of Culture, CCTV, Beijing TV and other important departments and our activities-

b？

A has nothing to do with this!

B Then why do you say that?

A I want to tell you that this "unexpected happy trip" activity is exclusively undertaken by our company.

B Why is it called "unexpected"?

A This is the central purpose of this activity-to make every tourist have unexpected gains.

B Then can you be more specific?

Like the hot tourist routes in recent years, Malaysia, Singapore, India, Thailand, Switzerland and other countries-we will definitely not go.

B how about domestic tourist routes?

A we don't consider anything either.

B Then what kind of tour do you call this?

A We just want to distinguish the activities of all travel companies in society, go to places they never dare to go, go to scenic spots they never dare to play, stay in hotels they never dare to stay in and eat meals they never dare to eat.

Then I dare not go with you.

What do you mean?

B I is now officially out of the tour.

A Then you will lose a lot.

What can I lose?

First of all, your deposit is non-refundable. In addition, you have to pay extra for our labor, lost time, transportation, medical care, nursing, one-child and parental support. ...

B I will go! These are more expensive than traveling!

It's very kind of you to come so early. The whole tour group is waiting for you alone. How do you feel? I call the roll now, XX (actor's name)—

B here we are.

All right, everyone is here. Let's go!

B is it just me?

A that's great! You enjoy one-on-one service. You are a VIP customer!

b！ ?

A Then please get on the plane with me now.

B This is the first time I've ever flown!

How does A feel?

B It's different to sit on an airplane and look at the ground. That man is as big as an ant.

I forgot to tell you that is the ant you are looking at. The plane has not taken off yet.

B then fly quickly.

A Now we can get off the plane.

Why did B come and go down?

A forgot to tell you that the first scenic spot is over.

Is side B a scenic spot?

How about a? Do you already feel a little "unexpected"?

Is the combination of B so "unexpected"?

A Let's go to our destination by bus.

B So, can we fly back?

A come back and take the CMB.

B Your contract says that you like to fly alone on this trip.

A: Yes. Solo, don't you understand?

B: Why don't you understand? A solo flight is a one-way flight, isn't it?

A solo.

What is solo flight?

The plane flies alone. Let's go alone.

It has nothing to do with us, right?

A Because there are many tourists today, please pay attention to the flag in my hand (take out a white flag) and raise your hands above your head when you leave.

B what's that for?

Otherwise, I won't see you in the crowd.

B I'm afraid we'll get lost.

A let's go now.

(A goes ahead with the flag raised, and B follows with both hands)

One, don't shoot!

B one of our own! We surrendered here?

Because we have to cross the blockade next.

B, why is there a blockade?

A forgot to tell you that in order to add some fun to your trip, we specially designed a particularly meaningful game project called-I want to find a cigarette!

B what kind of tour is this? So we're not going from here?

A This is the only way to the scenic spot.

B still have to go.

A So you have to pay 500 yuan again.

Why does b have to pay?

Because we still need a lot of manpower!

B with what manpower?

A: We will ask local people to dress up as anti-Japanese. When you cross the blockade, they will kick you, hit you, scold you and spit on you.

B I said how to call this game "I'm looking for a cigarette"!

Don't worry, these things are free.

B What's the use of 500 yuan?

A We are buying you a wheelchair.

B What wheelchair should I use when traveling?

A because there will be horse ropes, horse pits, nail rolling boards, minefields and so on.

I can't stand it at all.

A: Please rest assured that these games are symbolic games. In order to add some excitement to your journey, they will never cause great harm.

B Then I'm relieved.

A is to break an arm and a leg at most, otherwise it will be disabled.

Can't you arrange something meaningful?

A I forgot to tell you, and I'll show you around museums of different styles. Like what military museum, history museum, humanities museum, geography museum, astronomy museum, ocean museum, and finally will take you to visit the most unexpected treasure museum.

B what's the baby?

A it's hard to count. All kinds of treasures left by the emperor and concubines. Let me tell you something. These treasures were stolen by Eight-Nation Alliance before the Cultural Revolution, but they were not found by the rebels. Among them are the imperial seal used by Kangxi, the brush for painting, the drumstick played by Yongzheng and the spittoon used by Cixi.

B is that true?

One thing is absolutely true. You can smell it yourself if you don't believe me.

B is it dirty or not?

As the saying goes, hearing is false, seeing is believing. Today is an eye-opener for you. See this bowl? This is a world-class cultural relic.

B Isn't this just a broken bowl?

A broken bowl can scare you to death by telling the origin of this bowl. Let me ask you something. How did Pan Jinlian and Wang Po kill Wu Dalang?

B gave him a bowl of poison.

This is a bowl for a.

b！

A You think this is a cultural relic?

Is this a cultural relic?

Next, we will take you to visit wild animals.

B this activity is ok.

If you want to show your love, we will also organize a charity event for you.

What is it?

A You can claim a very lovely wild boar as long as you take out 800 yuan. The opportunity is really hard to get!

B I don't recognize it. The money was spent improperly.

How can A be wronged?

Who knows I claimed this wild boar?

A At that time, we will carefully make a love sign engraved with XX (the actor's name), that is, your name, and wear it permanently around the neck of the wild boar you claim. Let people have a look, oh, it turns out that this wild boar is called XX.

My name is XX.

One XX is a wild boar!

B's ridiculous.

I declare that the original ecological luxury banquet specially arranged by our company has officially begun!

B I made you hungry!

A tourists are required to find a brick each.

B, group fight?

Nail pads sit under your ass!

B doesn't even have a chair

A chair is called original ecology?

B I didn't want to sit down either, so I just stood by and ate at that table.

A has a watch. Is it called original ecology?

There is no table. Where can I put the tableware?

A Is it called original ecology when tableware is available?

B there is no tableware. Where can I put the food?

Is it called original ecology when both parties have food to eat?

B nothing. What shall we eat?

Our travel company has specially prepared the original ecological food which is pure natural, pollution-free, digestible and easy to gain weight.

B what?

A northwest wind!

B After chatting for a long time, we just stood on the street and drank the wind?

A So what exactly do you want to eat?

B It says in the contract that four dishes and one soup.

A This is four dishes and one soup.

B Why four dishes and one soup?

Let me ask you, what is this?

Spinach, Chinese cabbage, celery and rape.

A Isn't this a four-course dish?

B where's the soup?

Somebody, get him some water.

You guys are so deceitful.

What follows is our last activity today, taking a bath in the bath center.

Can be written in B's contract, original ecological bath, free!

We will never charge you a penny!

B then I'll wash it! (Bathing) After a long day, I really need a hot bath!

How about nail polish?

B not bad. Where are my clothes?

Sorry, your clothes are back in the oven.

B burned! ?

A Because we want to be the first village of environmental protection in China, all the dirty clothes taken off by guests are recycled.

B Then what should I wear to go out?

A: We're ready for you. We have vests and big underwear. The special price is only 5000 yuan.

B kidnapping?

A there are also cheap ones.

B what?

Transparent raincoat.

B I want the most expensive one.

A ok, the clothes will be delivered in half an hour.

B Then I can't stay so naked!

A just took advantage of this time. I'll check all the expenses of your trip with you.

Why do you want to settle accounts with me now?

This is in line with our service tenet!

B what's the purpose?

A must be 100% transparent when checking out with every visitor!

B Why don't you let me be naked and transparent?

Finally, on our pleasant journey, we gave you a beautiful DVD.

B don't

A only accepts you, 500 yuan.

B that's even more unnecessary.

A you must have.

B I definitely don't want it.

You must go!

B I just don't want it.

Do you know what this CD is about?

What is the content?

A was when you were in the shower just now-

How about b?

A: Our entire video.

B I will accept it