Don't swear at the baiwenhang (Ma Bao angrily reprimanded the child baiwenhang)

In life, many children don't know how to share, are self-centered and don't know how to be grateful. Adults usually label these children as "baiwenhang".

It is true that such children need parents to make more efforts in education, but behind the children's behavior, parents' behavior can often be reflected.

We should also reflect on ourselves, whether we have not set a good example for our children in some aspects, and our "baiwenhang" behavior was learned by children.

Case: Xiaoyu's mother bought cherries for her children and put them in the refrigerator for them to eat slowly. The next day, Xiaoyu took it out by herself, counted it while eating, and found that two were missing, so she asked angrily if her mother had stolen it.

Xiaoyu's mother is a thrifty person. She usually has the habit of counting things. She didn't expect her children to learn it at such a young age.

In fact, Xiaoyu's mother found two cherries rotten and threw them away. But when Xiaoyu was so angry, Xiaoyu's mother still felt a little cold and missed Doby's children. She pretended to be angry and said to Xiaoyu, "Mom is so hard, why can't she eat?" Why don't you ask grandma if she brought it back to her hometown? You are really a little white-eyed wolf. "

Unexpectedly, Xiaoyu was in a hurry and even asked her mother, "When grandma went back to her hometown, I saw you take the cherry out of her bag and eat it. This time, you said you didn't eat. Who will believe it? " "You don't let grandma eat cherries, and I won't let you eat them. Mom is a baiwenhang. "

Xiaoyu's mother stood there for an instant, speechless. She feels that the child is still young and some things have not been done behind his back. Who would have thought that after seeing it, children would "educate" themselves with words.

It turns out that Grandma Xiaoyu has a son. This time, the second daughter-in-law just gave birth to a baby, and the old man has to go back and wait for next month. The second daughter-in-law loves to eat cherries, but it is not easy to buy them in the countryside, so she asked Xiaoyu's mother to buy 2 Jin in the city.

It turned out that the old man helped Xiaoyu's mother to take care of her children for three years without asking for a penny. This time he went back and asked for 2 Jin of cherries, and the old man didn't mention giving money. But Xiaoyu's mother is not feeling well. She doesn't want to eat cherries when she is in confinement. My mother-in-law asked her to spend money to buy it for her second daughter-in-law. Isn't this washing the boat with river water?

So before the old man left, Xiaoyu's mother opened the bag, took out some cherries and ate them angrily. Although I felt very relieved at the time, who would have thought that children would say this today? It seems that my image as a "good mother" was destroyed as early as the moment I was seen by my children.

Xiaoyu's mother regretted her misconduct and set a bad example for her children.

Analysis: Xiaoyu's mother never taught her children to share food with adults in her usual education. When Xiaoyu knew that two cherries were missing, she first questioned her mother, who thought these fruits were only suitable for her to eat.

In addition, Xiaoyu's mother ate the cherry in her mother-in-law's bag and let her daughter see it, which deepened Xiaoyu's misunderstanding of her mother. She thinks that mom is the "baiwenhang" and it is wrong for mom to eat cherries in the refrigerator.

Therefore, the "incorrect" parents will lead to the "crooked" children. Xiaoyu's mother's unfriendly behavior towards the elderly has also been learned by her daughter, and she is reluctant to give her cherries.

I very much agree with Montessori's point of view: Only when parents do the right thing can they strongly refute when educating their children.

I believe that Xiaoyu's mother will treat her mother-in-law sincerely in the future and set an example of kindness and gratitude in front of her daughter. Xiaoyu will also be willing to give cherries to her mother's mouth.

Although the child is young, his best skill is imitation. He will imitate his parents' behavior towards the elderly at home.

There was a video online before, in which a mother didn't buy a tablet for her child and was slapped in the street by her child. It's shameful for her children to say vicious words while punching and kicking each other. How can there be such an unfilial child in the world?

According to informed netizens, this mother treats her mother-in-law in the same way at home. No wonder her children are like this. This is like mother, like son.

In a speech about family education, Mr. Wang said: Love for children is not blind love, but principled love and education. Let him know how to be grateful from an early age, know the hardships of his parents and the hardships of raising them, and grow up in an environment of mutual respect.

Many parents are unwilling to let their children suffer a little, suffer a little, and always give their children endless satisfaction. They think that as long as children grow up, they will naturally understand their parents' difficulties and learn to be grateful. But it is this kind of parents who don't set an example for their children when they treat the elderly, so that children can learn to follow suit from an early age.

So, in the process of educating children, what do parents need to do to make children feel grateful? Lead by example and educate children with behavior.

There is a public service advertisement on CCTV, in which a mother washes her mother-in-law's feet. After the son saw it, the child stumbled to get a basin of water and helped the tired mother wash her feet. This scene touched countless people, and the mother taught her children a good lesson with her own behavior.

Professor Tal Ben Shahar of Harvard University once said, "Parents' behavior is a mirror. If you are kind to the elderly, your children will be kind to you. You are a kind and grateful person and your children will learn from you. "

If parents are filial children, children will also become children who respect their parents under the influence of their parents' behavior. On the other hand, if parents themselves don't respect the elderly, bossing them around, or even adding fists and feet, children under the influence of this environment will naturally imitate the mode of getting along with their elders.

Don't give indefinitely. When a child makes a rude request, say no.

When a child is obedient to his parents and does everything he wants without asking for anything in return, such thinking is formed in his mind: parents should do everything for me, and parents owe me.

I remember when my daughter was in a big class, it suddenly rained on the way to send her to school. I only brought an umbrella. At the school gate, my daughter offered to take the umbrella to the classroom and let me play after class.

At that time, I decisively refused her request and told her that if I gave her an umbrella, my mother would go to work in the rain and her clothes would get wet and she might get sick. Are you willing to make her sick?

My daughter is very sensible and goes to school with firm little steps. That time, in order not to let me get wet, she gave up the umbrella.

Grasp the degree and give children appropriate anti-frustration education.

In psychology, frustration is defined as negative emotional experience. Simply put, it is the feeling of failure and poor progress.

Suhomlinski, an educator in the former Soviet Union, said: "We should let children know that there are two words in life, so that when they grow up, they will shorten the social adaptation period and improve their ability to withstand setbacks."

Children encounter criticism and ridicule, accidentally lose their favorite toys, play badly in the game, and so on. Things that seem unimportant are setbacks for children.

Here, I mentioned "appropriate" anti-frustration education. Children need appropriate setbacks when they grow up. If defined by the length of time, if the child can bear setbacks for a long time, then 10 minutes is just the right setback, and more than 10 minutes will form a trauma.

If you only give your child setbacks without the comfort of love, it is like only cold, it is difficult to maintain the energy to spend the cold winter, and it is also difficult to maintain the hope of warmth in the cold. Only by resisting setbacks with love, trust and understanding can we give our children unlimited strength and understand their parents' good intentions.

Give children spiritual rewards.

Really useful rewards can't be bought with money. When a child is young, a smile, a hug and a positive word will bring spiritual encouragement to the child.

There is an experiment in psychology called Desi effect, which talks about the role of moderate rewards and incentives, but if you do too much, it will reduce the child's inner attraction to this matter, let the child be kidnapped by material desires, and cause the character of crying if you can't get it.

Then the correct way is to use the spiritual reward method to always affirm what the child has done well. For example, you have made progress this time, and your ideas are particularly good. If you strengthen your advantages, your children will become better and better.

Finally, it is a long way to go to tell you the truth and educate your children.

Look down on children at the age of three, and teach by example at the age of seven. Parents' words and deeds play a vital role in children.

What parents ask their children to do, they must first do it, create a good family environment for their children, and let them be positively influenced in a subtle way.

In the long run, children will develop in excellent ways, and will they become "baiwenhang"?