Why do friends last longer than lovers?

Many people have this problem. We feel good about some people and are willing to make friends with them. If they are friends, their relationship will be very harmonious. But once treated as an object, or boyfriend and girlfriend, they often feel uncomfortable or dissatisfied.

Many times being a friend will last longer than being a lover:

Many times being friends will last longer than being lovers.

First, friends have low expectations and spouses have high expectations.

A lot of people do. If we are friends, we expect them to be "good to us", talk and laugh together, and help each other when things happen, that's all. But once they are regarded as spouses, they will unconsciously raise their expectations. For example, you will ask the other person to be extremely concerned about yourself, help you solve problems and help you solve difficulties at home. With the increase of psychological expectation, many former so-called friends can't achieve the purpose of being spouses now and feel unhappy.

Second, enough paper is punctured, and the sense of awe disappears.

Many people don't feel happy when they get together after stabbing enough paper, but they feel uncomfortable. I miss being friends before, but I feel familiar when I'm not friends. But after being boyfriend and girlfriend, the sense of awe disappears, and I no longer look at each other with appreciation, but with criticism.

Many times being friends will last longer than being lovers.

Third, the psychology of comparison.

Being friends will last longer than being lovers. As friends, everyone does not compare with friends, but with their spouses. Such as the spouse's job, looks, height, etc. , will become the standard of comparison, we will not unconsciously compare with our friends. But once you become your spouse, it becomes your bargaining chip. When others praise their boyfriends and girlfriends, you will unconsciously compare with them. When he has a deficiency, you will enlarge it infinitely, causing a certain gap between men and women friends that others say, which makes you uncomfortable. Just like the saying, "Hold your hand tightly, you have nothing. Open your hand and the world will be." Yes, we ancient people paid attention to mutual respect, so even male and female friends can't expect too much, otherwise there will be a lot of unhappiness.