Stepmother is difficult and easy to get hurt. To be a qualified stepmother, I have two suggestions.

There is a profession, an electric worker who works on high-voltage lines. I really can't see it, but it sounds dangerous.

In life, the only thing that can be compared is probably the stepmother.

Stepmothers have too many problems to face-in the face of the relationship between husband and ex-wife, will they break up and rekindle the old love? After all, they still have children, and it is impossible for them to die of old age. You should face the children born by your husband and ex-wife, and be your own children. What should you do? You have to educate him, can you fight or scold? Whether you care or not, it seems that you still have some moral responsibility; You must face your in-laws. After all, your in-laws have experienced two daughters-in-law, so there will be some comparison. If you do something they don't like, will their faces still look good?

Therefore, it is really difficult to be a stepmother.

I was a fellow villager when I was in college. When he was very young, his mother "ran away" and I still can't contact him. His father later married him a stepmother, who was very kind to him and didn't even give birth to his children. Even so, in those years when he was not sensible, he did a lot of things to make his stepmother cry quietly.

His stepmother is considered to be a particularly great stepmother. Many stepmother in life have racked their brains and tried their best, but they are thankless. For example, I heard a stepmother pour out a lot the other day.

Hello, Wanwan:

My husband and I have been married for four years, and now I'm in Wang Xiaoer for the New Year-the situation is getting worse every year.

When I first met him, I was still in college and she was divorced. I met him when I was working part-time. He takes good care of me. At that time, the family was poor He helped me a lot. Although he didn't give me money explicitly, he gave me a lot of money in various ways that I could accept.

But at that time, he didn't take me seriously, maybe it was just that it was not easy to see me and he was simply good to me. After graduating from college, I took the initiative to find him, because I am a very grateful person. At that time, his company was very small, so I helped him as an accountant for free, which was equivalent to returning the favor.

If this favor still exists, it will become a lover.

Almost a year later, we will get married. He had two sons with his ex-wife. I didn't care at the time. I think he has been so kind to me since I married him, and all his children are mine. I should treat his children as my own.

Later, my child was born, a daughter, and everyone was very happy. Now there is a son and a daughter. The two sons have grown up. I went to primary school and studied poorly. My mother-in-law took care of me before. My mother-in-law dotes on her grandchildren and allows them to speak frankly. Besides, she doesn't know English and can't help it. The eldest son's English exam has always been more than 20 points.

I can't stand it. I personally coach, educate, check and supervise every day. After half a semester, both sons got more than 90 points in the English exam (the younger son did well). Everyone is very happy. My husband and parents-in-law think I am very good and my family is very harmonious.

I also think they are boys and should learn to stand on their own feet when they are young, so I let them wash their own clothes and socks-I can wash them at home with a washing machine, and I don't care if I wash more or less, but I really want to exercise them out of good intentions.

They are also very obedient and call me "mom". They are also very close.

However, the good times did not last long, and the family I worked so hard to build still had problems. Last summer vacation, my husband and ex-wife lived with their two children for almost a month. When he came back, the eldest son was a completely different person.

No more washing socks, no more listening to me, no more listening to my tutoring-I was so angry that I didn't know what to do, so I told him.

But at an early age, he called me Xiao San, a female college student kept by his father. I was so angry that I poked his forehead with my finger and scolded him.

This time, it stirred up a hornet's nest. He complained everywhere that I beat and scolded him, and his mother came to my house to make trouble, saying that she would take the child away and not let the child suffer under the clutches of a bitch like me. My husband believes me, too, but since my mother-in-law turned against me for "beating" her grandson, even my husband thinks there is something wrong with me.

Now, our feelings are becoming more and more sensitive. My eldest son calls me by my name directly at home, and sometimes he calls me mistress loudly. The adults heard it and didn't care.

I am really wronged. I thought my husband would always support me, but he didn't want to go home because the family is very stiff now. I don't think I have a place in this family.

I used to run this family with good intentions, but now I'm a villain. What should I do?

On Bend Bay;

In China, a traditional family-it runs in the family family, the problem is always greater than warmth. As a daughter-in-law, the relationship with her mother-in-law is very sensitive. Now I have to add my ex-wife's child-whether you care or not, he will get into trouble as soon as he goes out, and he will be called "a mother doesn't raise a mother" and "a stepmother is a stepmother after all" If you want to manage, you will be rebellious. How to deal with this degree? It's too difficult.

And as a stepmother, there will always be many people who are suspected-he divorced his ex-wife because you hooked up with your husband-and will accuse you of being a fake mistress.

I want you to be tolerant, but who will understand your difficulties and grievances?

Stepmother, it's hard.

As for how to run such a family and how to get along, let me talk about some of my views.

I interviewed some "Hou Er". Of course, they are all grown up. When they describe their relationship with childhood and stepmother, their attitudes are basically divided into two types:

First, I was grateful. I felt that my stepmother was sincere to herself at that time, but she was not sensible and hurt her heart. Second, the stepmother is cold and overbearing, extremely disgusted and heartless.

This reaction is not positive-so, stepmother, it's really hard. What should be a better way?

First of all, don't think of yourself as a mother-you should realize this. The child is still with his mother. That's blood relationship. You can't change it. Give up the fantasy of being a mother and son with him.

If he is sensible and ungrateful, it is almost impossible to repair your relationship in case of some contradictions and mistakes.

Many stepmother took pains to dig out her heart and lungs, and the result was still tortured. The more I want to be a mother, the closer I am to my mistakes. Therefore, don't think about replacing the child's biological mother.

Secondly, you should face up to your relationship with children. You're not her mother. You have nothing to do with this. However, since we are a family, we have moral responsibilities and obligations. And this responsibility and obligation is limited. Just like the relationship between students and teachers.

Teachers teach students, persuade them to be kind and help them to a certain extent, but teachers will not establish an inseparable relationship with students-if a student changes schools, he is not your student, if the student goes too far, the teacher will expel him, and the teacher-student relationship will cease to exist. Therefore, teachers generally only try to persuade students, not force them.

You can persuade him and help him, but you can't blame him or scold him-that's his father's business and his biological mother's business. You should build a teacher-student relationship with them, not a mother-child relationship-at least in the first few years.