Five-person sketch~~~Urgent`~~~~

Characters: Students Xiaoniuniu, Laifu, Wangcai, Teacher A

Wangcai: Others call me Wangcai, but I call myself bullshit. You see, I didn't study well since I was a child and didn't pass the college entrance examination. Now I'm laid off and it's really hard to find a job. I went to work because I was afraid of suffering. I'm tired of going to work. It's better to be your own boss and open a company. I find that the best money to make right now is student money, and voila! "Burden Reduction Company" tries every means to serve students and reduce their burden. Our company's slogan is: everything for students, for all students. Consultation hotline: Burden reduction (959595).

(Xiao Niuniu, Laifu Part 1)

Xiao Niuniu: I heard that a company has opened next to the school to reduce the burden on students, and also does homework for students. It is not harmful to open this company. Us?

Laifu: Yes! Our study burden is very light now, what burden do we need to reduce? Let's go talk to the teacher and let him think of a way for us.

Little Niuniu: OK, let’s go now.

(The two came to the teacher’s office and talked to the teacher)

Little Niuniu: Let’s go now, like this, like this!

Laifu: Let’s go!

Xiao Niuniu: Wait a minute, let me make a call first.

(Pulls out the phone as if making a call)

Wangcai: (The ringing rings, overjoyed) Look, it’s great to start a company, business is coming! (Answer the phone) Hello, this is a burden reduction company. Our company is dedicated to serving our students and friends. (Insert: Bah! Also a student friend) Please press button 1 for business introduction, and press button 2 for manual service. (Insert: Select manual service) Hello, No. 120 is at your service.

Xiao Niuniu: Hello, I am a student at the school. I heard that your company specializes in reducing the burden on students. Our classmates don’t know about it. I asked me to ask what services you have.

Wangcai: OK! Let me introduce it to you!

Little Niuniu: I’m afraid I can’t hear you clearly on the phone, so I’ll come to your company.

Wangcai: Welcome, warmly welcome you to come and inspect! (busy organizing)

(the two push the door open)

Wangcai: Hello, welcome!

Laifu: We are students at the school and would like to ask.

Wangcai: Please sit down, please sit down. The secretary brings you a glass of water. (moment) Why haven't you come yet? oh! I haven't hired a secretary yet. You can rest assured about our company's services.

Laifu: (puzzled) 240 hearts, never heard of it?

Wangcai: Have you ever heard of being patient?

Xiao Niuniu: I’ve heard of it.

Wangcai: Where are the two of you?

Laifu: 240 hearts for two people.

Xiao Niuniu: Fortunately, it’s not 250 yet. How did you come up with the idea to start this company?

Wangcai: Do you know? I am an experienced person in this area, quite experienced.

Laifu: Have you done this before?

Wangcai: No, no, I have enjoyed such services since I was in elementary school. Every time I ask my classmates a question, I have to...

Xiao Niuniu: How much is it?

Wangcai: No money at that time, just half a piece of rubber. Every time I ask my classmates to do homework, I lose half a popsicle.

Little Niuniu: Half a popsicle?

Wangcai: I eat half and others eat half. The biggest cost was to hire someone to pretend to be my brother and go to school. One time, the teacher asked my family to go, and I invited the big brother next door, and guess what? He insisted that I get him watermelon to eat.

Laifu: What’s the result?

Wangcai: I went to the field to steal a watermelon, and he ate the watermelon. I was lucky, and my butt opened for my dad.

Xiao Niuniu: No more talking, how is your service?

Wangcai: The company is building a brand and is preparing to declare a 3-15 recommended brand. The quality is guaranteed to be top-notch, and your confidentiality is guaranteed.

Little Niuniu: That’s great!

Wangcai: It has just opened and we are offering a 20% discount to students.

Laifu: Our future is long-term.

Wangcai: In the long term, you can become our member. Membership not only offers discounts, but also earns points for every purchase. We will also organize a variety of activities for members.

Little girl: Good service is not enough, we also need to know how good you are? Which university did you graduate from?

Wangcai: University? Hmm... squatting at home.

Laifu: Wow, what a big turtle!

Wangcai: How can you curse, little classmate?

Laifu: I didn’t scold you!

Wangcai; How can you say that I am a big turtle?

Laifu: Turtles are international students who have returned from overseas, or turtles for short. You are really a sesame seed on the street.

Wangcai: So what do you mean?

Little Niuniu: It’s just rubbish. Which country does your family live in?

Wangcai: Just in China.

Little Niuniu: Domestic? I haven't heard of it.

Wangcai: This...this...let me tell you straight, I never went to college.

Laifu: Where do you squat at home...

Wangcai: Just squat at home and study by yourself.

The two said in unison: You have never gone to college, can you solve the difficult problems in elementary school?

Wangcai: Solving difficult problems is the main business. Elementary school questions are too easy. For me, it’s just a cat and mouse—no need to think about it.

Little Niuniu: Then I will give you a few questions to test you.

Wangcai: It’s a piece of cake.

Little Niuniu: What is 10 plus half minus half?

Wangcai: Isn’t it still ten?

Laifu: (laughing) Wrong! Add half of 10 to get 15, subtract half of that to get 7·5!

Wangcai: Oops! Too careless, please ask another question.

Little Niuniu: You have to listen carefully this time. A man was crossing the river and walking on a single-plank bridge. Suddenly, a big tiger walked over from the other side of the bridge. He just heard a roar. Think about it, why?

Wangcai: This is a brainteaser question. I know that the person fainted from fright and fell on the bridge with a thud.

Laifu: (laughing) Haha, you are wrong again. It is a single-plank bridge. This man fell into the river with a bang.

Wangcai: Ouch! Why didn't I think of that?

Little Niuniu: No, no, it seems you can’t answer difficult questions well.

Wangcai: Don’t worry, you ask me another question and I will try it. I will definitely answer it this time.

Little Niuniu: Okay, let me ask another question. Let me give you a riddle to guess. Sheep are not afraid of wolves at all. Guess a song

Wangcai: (thinking hard) This, this is...

Laifu: (laughing) The wolf falls in love with the sheep

Wang Cai: Come up with another one and let me guess

Xiao Niuniu: I’ll come up with another one, so don’t be angry?

Wangcai: Why are you so angry? Come on!

Little Niuniu: All the pigs are dead, guess the name of the song.

Wangcai: Let me think about it. By the way, it's "Song of the Pig",

Laifu: Wrong again, "At least I still have you"

Wangcai: You, why are you...

Little Niuniu: Uncle, you just said you wouldn’t be angry.

Wangcai: Okay, okay, don’t be angry. If you can’t answer difficult questions, just do the homework for you!

Laifu: That’s even worse. Our school’s language demonstration school has strict requirements on writing. Everyone’s handwriting is different. Teachers can tell at a glance whether they are self-made. Who dares? Please do the homework for me.

Wangcai: Yes, you are right, this won’t work either. What to do? I solemnly introduce the last business, go to the school to accept the teacher's home visit on behalf of the parents.

Xiao Niuniu: This is also...

Wangcai: Don't worry, don't worry, I tell you, I have quite a lot of experience. When I was studying, I often talked to my old classmates. Dad went to see the teacher together. When parents meet the teacher, their faces usually get hot, their heads sweat, and they feel panicked. They have to rush to find sticks when they get home. I'll show it to you...

Laifu: Uncle, listen to me...

Wangcai: Don't say it now. When I finish the show, you won't see it. Xiang, let’s talk about it later...

Xiao Niuniu: Uncle...

Wangcai: No more, you are the teacher and I am the student’s parent. By the way, I'll spray some water first, otherwise I won't be able to see the sweat when the time comes (spray water on my face).

Laifu: No, uncle, the teacher happened to ask my dad to go to school. I don’t dare to call, so please help me once!

Wangcai: That’s great, I’ll let you see what I’m capable of. If it’s not good, you shouldn’t come here in the future.

(The two came to the classroom office)

Laifu: Teacher, my dad is here.

Teacher A: Oh! This is your dad, okay, please take a seat!

Wangcai: The teacher smokes!

Teacher A: Thank you, I don’t smoke.

Wangcai: By the way, teachers don’t smoke now. If they want to smoke, they smoke slimming cigarettes. Teacher, your child is causing trouble for you at school. He does not study well or performs poorly. It is our responsibility as parents. I run my own company and am a bit poor and busy. I have less control over the children. I know that there are ten thousand reasons why I cannot shirk responsibility. Teachers, parents, and students are the three auspicious treasures. When I go back, I will educate them well and strive to create a beautiful myth. Teachers, you will be happy, and my parents will laugh haha. ...

Teacher A: You are so humorous. Where is your lover?

Wangcai: Lover? Teacher, I’m not married yet, how can I have a lover?

Teacher A: I haven’t loved anyone yet, how about a blessing?

Wangcai: Oh, oh, I can’t speak well when I’m nervous. I just got married.

Teacher A: We just got married and our children are already this old?

Wangcai: Wrong again, I just got divorced.

Teacher A: Great talent!

Wangcai: Yeah!

Teacher A: How do you know Laifu?

Wangcai: He just came to our company to invite me...

Three people together: All of them are in trouble!

Wangcai: Teacher, how did you know that my name is Wangcai?

Teacher A: I recognized you as soon as you came in. Do you still remember when your father grabbed your ears and took you to school for stealing a watermelon?

Wangcai: How can I forget it? Now that I think about it, I regret it. I didn’t study well, and I also thought of ways to hide it from my parents. I stole watermelon for others to eat, and asked people to pretend to be my brother to school. I really regret it!

Teacher A: You regret it now. Do you want the children to regret it like you?

(Wangcai is silent)

Laifu: Our study burden is not heavy now, and we no longer need to reduce our burden. Since the school launched the "double walk-in" activity, teachers in our school have actively walked into students' families and into students' hearts.

Little Niuniu: The teacher is doing well now. We all look forward to the teacher visiting our home.

Wangcai: Thinking about what I did was wrong, I became confused. ,

Teacher A: (The song "Fly Higher" plays) Life is like a big river, sometimes calm and sometimes rolling, brave sailors ride the wind and break the waves. The teacher knows that you have been laid off and have encountered some setbacks, but you have a smart mind, a healthy body, and hard-working hands. What are you afraid of? The Eight Honors and Eight Disgraces say that hard work is glorious, but indolence is shameful. You should rely on your own hands to work hard to create wealth. If you open a company like this, it will only harm us students. Do you still remember Teacher Wei Min?

Wangcai: Remember, remember, he is my teacher and he is so kind to me.

Teacher A: He has always cared about you. Let us bring you two sentences.

Laifu “Reduce the burden and don’t go astray.

"

Xiao Niuniu: To make money, you must take the right path.

Wangcai: Let me add another sentence, work hard and get rich.

Three people together: Yes, getting rich through hard work is the most glorious thing!