How many people have sacrificed their lives for their family of origin?

After the last relative temple fair, Mr. Kong asked me, "Which relative of your family is the one who can't drink but prefers to drink? He can't drink but still wants to fight with me for drinking? Then many people said to ignore him."

I said: "He is just that kind of person. He has been lazy all his life. He has two sons at home, all of whom are supported by his wife. He has never done much work in his life, and his family is living in poverty. He still feels that he is very poor. Glory. The most common saying is, how can I show my wife's diligence without my laziness?"

He looks like Wang Manyin in "Ordinary World", but he is not as good as Wang Manyin. At least Wang Manyin found his wife by himself, earned enough to spend on himself, and could even make witty remarks to make her happy. Finally he came to his senses and returned to his family.

But this relative and daughter-in-law were obtained by my sister in exchange for a lifetime of happiness. If I don’t make any money myself, I would eat some delicious food at home first, and then I would search for some money at home and go out. Spend some wine. If something happens, just act like a coward. It’s also hard on me, my sister-in-law, for not leaving her for so many years.

I think that staying together is not because of love, but because of the change of marriage, for the sake of the original family of both parties, and for the sake of the other person's original family to continue to have a good relationship. Silly women who compromise each other and sacrifice their own happiness.

My relative’s sister married his sister-in-law’s brother because we were not attracted to each other in the first place, but she couldn’t stand the persuasion or earnest words of her parents, so she married her. In fact, the other person was just a bit ugly. But he was willing to work hard, but because the sister of this relative did not like the appearance of the sister-in-law and brother from the beginning, they spent most of their lives in constant quarrels and mutual torture. It was only now that I was in my fifties that I suddenly realized why I didn't escape in the first place, or why I chose to obey. I should have lived a good life instead of spending most of my life together. disease. As a result, now my husband has to take care of himself and cannot go out to work. My son is in his twenties and the family is still very poor. Only when the family is harmonious can everything be prosperous. But they have never had a family together for most of their lives. No matter how they look at each other, they always dislike and find fault with each other. In the end, you have to rely on the other person to serve you for the rest of your life.

Going back to my relative, he is not ugly, but he is very lazy. It is said that the parents of relatives were used to it. When they were young, they would not give anything to their son, and they would not let him do any work, etc. When my relative's mother was about to die, she was still worried about whether her son, who was almost 60 years old, would have enough to eat. How will I live in the future? I still want to use the pension I have saved to give my grandchildren a wife.

But my relative has never been so worried because in his mind, people are born to enjoy themselves, and they just have to live a good life. Whether their son can marry a wife is their own business. , why should I worry about them? My daughter-in-law is willing to endure hardships by following me, but I’m not forcing her to live with me? Dad can go see a doctor if he doesn't feel well. I'm not a doctor, so what does it have to do with me? In his mind, as long as he has food and drink, everything else is not important at all. Therefore, he can be considered happy in this life. There were so many people carrying the burden for him, but he was happy and happy all his life! Although the family has only four walls, they live a contented life. Is it funny or sad?

Let’s talk about my relative’s wife. Although my sister-in-law is a bit weak, she is kind-hearted and willing to endure hardships. Maybe she knew from the beginning how she would spend her life? So after giving birth to two sons, I began to think of ways to make money, be filial to my parents-in-law, and manage my two sons well. I treated my husband as a non-existent person, so I relied on my own efforts and the support of my relatives. She helped and trained two college students, and before her mother-in-law passed away, she had always taken care of them personally, even more thoughtfully than her own daughter. Everyone felt that having such a good wife was a blessing to this relative's family.

In fact, the daughter-in-law of this relative is helpless. How many of them shed tears day and night? But she understood better and felt that she should spend her life like this, so she chose to endure it, so that her brother would have a wife and children, and his brother would have a family, and her parents would feel at ease, for them, for their son, and for what others said. , "If you can't rely on men, just rely on your own son from now on, and just slowly grow up your son." The thought is struggling hard alone.

So when many people think that such an unreliable father can raise two college students, they feel disdainful and think it is impossible. In fact, it is not that the father is capable, but that the mother's forbearance stimulates the child's motivation to learn to a certain extent. It is also this family condition and environment that makes children instinctively choose to escape and work hard. Only by going to school can they get rid of the shackles of such a family and stay away from this family environment that they do not like. This is why many people think that children with poor family conditions learn very well, while children with good family conditions learn only averagely.

Children who grow up in such an environment may be very filial to their mother, but it will be difficult for them to reconcile with their father throughout their lives because he is incompetent. And this mentality may accompany the child throughout his life. Because it is difficult for them to reconcile with their past lives, and they cannot understand why they have such a father. Therefore, the two children from relatives rarely come home unless their mother calls.

Thinking back, the two families who exchanged marriages actually lived a very poor life. They were impoverished and in pieces, but where did they end up? It lies in the self-righteous thoughts of the previous generation. They thought they were getting closer, but they did not consider whether the children would like it or not. When the children raised questions, they did not choose to obey the children but persuaded the children to continue to endure. So, for the so-called Filial piety and lack of enough sense of resistance led to today's tragedy. Spending his miserable life also brought indelible childhood memories to his children. But it is this indelible childhood that makes their children choose to strive for self-improvement and escape the shackles of the original family.

So who is lucky? Whose fault?