I want to see the boss's photo and talk about it.

Author: Yang

one

My eldest brother's name is Yang Zizhong-he left us before he was 40 years old, when he was very young and at the best of his life. Although his life was short, what he left us was endless thoughts and deep warm memories. He is a father with three children, a man with a big family of brothers and sisters, a loyal and kind man, and a man who has devoted his life to others without considering himself. We are deeply moved by his generosity, selflessness, kindness and simple behavior, and we will never forget it!

In my memory, my eldest brother looks like a man with a rich face: medium build, strong, broad shoulders and square face. People say that he is very kind and must be blessed. But his life is short and he doesn't enjoy much happiness. Therefore, it is unreliable to look at the future of life.

When we were young, he was a soldier in the border defense company in Wusu, Xinjiang. Whenever he comes home, everyone sits around and warms up, listening to him slowly under the kerosene lamp, telling us about the outside world and life, which fascinates us. On such a warm day, his words solved many puzzles in our hearts, as if lighting a lamp in my heart and giving me a direction to work hard.

My brother and I really don't have much time to live together. When he was a soldier, it was still the people's commune era. People all over the country are starving, and his family has a large population and a hard life. As a boss, he didn't go to school much, so he joined the production team to earn work points and suffered a lot from eating snacks. Later, I heard from my family that he came from the sand where he worked. There were many young people who wanted to be soldiers, and only one of them was admitted to the brigade, which showed that he was in good health. When I left, all the men, women and children in the village came to see me off, wearing big red flowers and beating gongs and drums, which was very lively. He was the first person to let his parents enjoy the scenery in the village, and he was also the envy of the whole village. This shows how much people in the fifties respected soldiers.

After he left, the commune hung a plaque of glorious military families in front of our house, and every year before the Spring Festival, village and township leaders came to express their condolences. This is the greatest honor and face that can be felt at that time. The whole family is very happy, and parents are naturally the happiest. To this end, we follow his example, study hard, and all want to do something to win glory for our parents.

two

In the early 1960s, people all over the country were starving. I went to school, and this time is also the most difficult time for my family life. My eldest brother has jumped ship and arranged to work in Urumqi Machine Tool Factory. In those years, the life of the eldest brother family was very difficult. Because food and clothing depend on tickets, they already have two children, but only one person's food stamps can't support a large family, so eldest brother has lived in his hometown since childhood. They came back to visit relatives for about a year, most of them stayed for ten and a half months, and the youngest stayed for seven or eight days. Such a life is unthinkable. It's a long way, and it's a few days and nights' journey by train and bus, so all the money saved by frugality is spent on the journey.

Later, with the third child, life became more tense. In order to save money, they sometimes come back once every three or four years. One year, I went to Xinjiang to listen to my neighbors say that in the most difficult time of life, they changed their refined food stamps into other people's coarse grains to eat, and they had to find odd jobs after work to collect food in the farmers' fields in the outer suburbs to make up for their lives and try their best to push the day forward.

Later, in the 1970s, family life improved. Eldest brother got a raise, and my sister-in-law got a job, and her life was much better. Come back in two or three years, bring some food and clothing to your parents and some small gifts to our school students. Of course, we are very happy after receiving them.

Their arrival is a holiday in our family. Besides going to school, we always find excuses to surround them and don't want to leave. The boss is also very happy, dragging me and the boss around. In retrospect, that scene is very touching, just like what happened yesterday!

three

Although eldest brother has a hard life, he doesn't try his best to help us. After junior high school, I have to pay tuition, which is more than six yuan a year. I often worry about tuition. In those years, rural families had financial difficulties and few sources of income. They worked hard to earn points for a year, but by the end of the year, they couldn't get much money. Coupled with the living expenses of a large family and the investment in farming, they need money everywhere. Therefore, my father's attitude towards me is: "Look at your ability, go up if you can, and come back to farm if you can't." In other words, it is hopeless to depend on yourself and others for your own destiny. My younger brother didn't love school and went home early to farm. I have my own firm determination to go to school even if I am hungry. I like the atmosphere of sitting in the classroom and studying. At that time, I thought going to school was the best thing in my life.

My hope at that time was to write a letter to my eldest brother when I didn't have the money to pay tuition. He sent me ten yuan, which filled me with gratitude. If he comes back from visiting relatives, he will buy us a new dress and give us some pocket money to make us happy for a long time.

I graduated from high school. Although my academic performance was good, I caught up with the Cultural Revolution. The country canceled the college entrance examination and had to go home to farm. It was the most painful period of my life. I am depressed about my future and destiny. Although he was elected as an accountant soon after returning home, he later served as a team clerk. Although I have something to do, it is not my pursuit. In particular, I often hear the ridicule of some people in the village, especially the elders who hold a little power at home, making things difficult for others, and deliberately making things difficult for others by watching jokes, which makes my young mind feel sad.

At that time, I felt that because of the poverty and backwardness in rural areas, people's feelings were more indifferent, and the harsh living environment changed their emotional world and human nature deteriorated. Torture each other and make fun of others have become a part of life. In those days, my eldest brother sometimes wrote letters to encourage me and make me feel better. I realize that life is bleak, but the road has to go forward.

I always feel that I can't stay here all my life and I won't be a farmer in the countryside all my life. I want to go out. Later, the recruitment work began. As a cadre in the team, I learned the news at the first time and signed up without hesitation. At that time, there were 87 people in the town, and only 9 people were admitted. Only Zide and I are qualified in our brigade. It is not easy. After going through one level after another, there are 1000 choices, and all kinds of uncertainties are among them. After all the political review procedures, we were confirmed. When I got home, I was very happy to tell this story, and my family was naturally very happy. I left on a snowy day in the early winter of 75. I remember my sister-in-law and sister sent me to the commune. When I walked out of the house, I turned around and saw my mother looking at me on the hillside. I set foot on a long journey in tears and never looked back.

four

Big brother was very happy to hear that I was a soldier. He wrote to me and taught me a lot about being a soldier in the army. It can be said that he is my teacher who started my military career. After the promotion, I wrote this news to my eldest brother, who spent a lot of money and quickly sent me a telegram saying, "Brother, you are the hope of our whole family!" " "I was excited for several days when I read the telegram.

But at this moment, my beloved eldest brother fell ill. His life is not satisfactory because he has lived a bad life for a long time. He has advanced gastric cancer and needs surgery as soon as possible. After I got the news, I didn't think much, so I took time off and set foot on the train to Xinjiang. Along the way, I recalled my eldest brother's experience and the hardships of his life, and I couldn't help but burst into tears: he was the eldest son of the family, who suffered the most from childhood and worked the hardest; After being a soldier, he stayed in the frontier defense company, the desert Gobi, and slept in the wind; After changing my job, I was lucky to be assigned to a factory and became a skilled worker, so my life was guaranteed. I can catch up with the most difficult period of the country, and my life is already very difficult. I have to take care of people in my hometown and I can only suffer myself. He is a person who values family above everything else, but good people are not rewarded and their fate is not good.

The first time I saw my eldest brother, we both cried. He kept holding my hand. Sister-in-law has already cried into tears. Rong Xing, who was only fifteen years old at that time, and two children who were not sensible, couldn't help but feel sad when they looked at all this. He has had surgery, and I will accompany him to the hospital for treatment in the next few days, and take turns to take care of him with my sister-in-law every day. When his condition improved slightly, he led me to know his comrades-in-arms every day and let me know what to look for in the future. He and I carefully packed everything at home, repaired the vegetable cellar, pressed the door, and saved the vegetables for the winter, so he was relieved and I returned to the team.

This serious illness completely ruined the health of eldest brother. Others soon collapsed, and his illness often made him unbearable. In less than half a year, the hospital issued a critically ill notice. Sister-in-law has been dragging. She telegraphed me to give her one last hand. I am eager to set foot on this road again, with a heavy heart. I remember that it was mid-September, when the sun was shining brightly in Wan Li, Urumqi, and the flaming cockscomb in the street park was in full bloom. I was not in the mood to see all this.

When I came here again, I saw that others had changed beyond recognition, lost weight and became a handful of dry wood. I held my eldest brother lying in the hospital bed, and the whole family cried with him. Since then, I have been with him every day, saying something happy when he is in good spirits and touching his body to relieve him when he can't help but feel pain. He was too painful to sleep at night, and my sister-in-law and I took turns watching it. After a long struggle, one night I was really sleepy, so I tied a cloth belt around his wrist and connected it with my hand. If he moves, I can wake up. I didn't expect him to lose his temper and even ignore me. This is the first and only time that my eldest brother lost his temper with me as a patient. When my sister-in-law explained to him, "A man can't stay up all night. He has been here for more than ten days. You have to understand! " Hearing this, he smiled shyly at me as an apology.

During those days, we suffered day and night, went to the hospital to get medicine and injections, and watched him leave us day by day. Finally, this day has come. At 3 o'clock in the morning of September 28, he left, walking so calmly, and finally relieved his pain. My sister-in-law and I are not afraid. Before waking up the children, we quietly scrubbed his body and dressed him. I cried when I saw this scene. I don't know what happened.

The funeral was held downstairs. We set up a Peng Ling and cremated it after a three-day memorial service. We chose the best urn for him at that time and buried it in his hometown according to his wishes.

five

My beloved big brother left, taking away my endless thoughts and my spiritual sustenance. But life goes on. Over the years, his children have grown up, grown up in adversity, suffered a lot and lived up to expectations. Now they all have their own jobs and careers, and they are all married and live a good life. Sister-in-law also survived hardships and lived a retired life, which can comfort eldest brother. Every time I go back to my hometown, I will go to his grave to tell all this and let him feel at ease there.

Time flies, Cang Sang. In a blink of an eye, I was over sixty years old and experienced serious illness and pain. I often think about these things in my spare time, as if it were yesterday. I feel very warm at the thought of the friendship between our brothers. I think it is my greatest happiness to be his brother all my life.

Life is limited, time is hard to stay, and no one knows how long his life is, but there is hope when he is alive, and there is a bright tomorrow. Big brother has been gone for many years, but every time I think about it, I feel that life is given by my parents and life motivation is given by my big brother. I think that no matter what you do in life and what kind of occupation you are engaged in, you can only gain hope and succeed if you keep in mind the entrustment of your loved ones, think about their expectations and keep working hard.

Note: This article was written on 200310.2, when I came back from Urumqi. The final version of 202 1. 2. 3 was revised to express the dream of seeing big brother last night.