What should parents do if their child makes a mistake?

How do you deal with your children when they make mistakes? I think some parents will choose to criticize their children. They may say, "Why did I do it wrong again? How many times have I told you, and it's still wrong now?"; they may also say, "Look what the mother said, and what the teacher said." Criticism, how did you do this?"; or they will say "This is your own fault, remember to pay attention next time."

These words are not only for children, but also for us when we were young. I often hear it from my parents, but you can think back, were you really willing to hear these words at that time? After listening to this, do you still want to continue communicating with your parents? In fact, children are the same. Every time they hear such education, criticism, and suggestions, they will find it difficult to accept it. They may even impatiently say, "Okay, okay, I understand, stop talking." You don’t even know my situation, and I don’t want to tell you anymore..." In the end, both the children and their parents were unhappy, but the parents clearly gave their sincere suggestions, so why would the children not want them after speaking out? What else? In fact, the answer is very simple, it is because parents ignore their children's emotions. If we pay attention to our children's emotions and they feel it, the situation will be very different. They will be happy that we understand and are willing to talk to us. Next, Lemon will tell you how to pay attention to children's emotions.

First, understand the child’s subtext and express their feelings. Whenever we encounter problems with our children, we blurt out words of criticism and education, because in our opinion these are trivial matters. But it is a big trouble for the child, so we need to help the child express his feelings and respond to his frustration with an understanding and caring attitude.

For example, if a child does something wrong and is criticized by the teacher, instead of continuing to criticize, we will get better results by saying: "Well... you must be very disappointed after being criticized by the teacher. ....." or "Have you corrected it? You have realized your mistake and you were criticized by the teacher. You must have felt uncomfortable at the time..." Pay attention to the child's emotions first and let him correct it. Let your emotions be dealt with, then focus on the problem itself and find a solution yourself.

Second, accept the emotion first and then stop the behavior. Children will always do some behaviors that we cannot accept or are incorrect, such as grabbing other children's things, fighting with others, etc. Our first reaction when seeing these things is to stop and scold them, but it is difficult to make them obedient, because when children's emotions are completely ignored, they will not listen to adults. Try to accept your child's emotions before you stop them, so you can easily adjust their behavior.

When he grabs something from his companion, parents can discuss it with him and say, "I know you like this thing very much, but this toy is not yours. If you want to play with it, you should discuss it with this child." When other people fight, we can also accept their feelings first and then not allow this behavior to happen. You can first say, "I know he hurt you a lot, that's why you fought back..."

Third, when the child is unwilling to do something, we can express his wish Express it. For example, sometimes a child will say that I did the question just now, but somehow got it wrong again. At this time, instead of criticizing and asking him to be more careful next time, a better way to say is "I can do the question well." Wrong, you must be very depressed. It would be great if your pen could automatically recognize it and stop when it sees that you have made a mistake~" This can help children realize the reality and know that it is impossible, so they need to think for themselves. Solution.

Children are smart and sensitive. When problems arise, in addition to scolding, criticizing, and giving suggestions, please don’t ignore your children’s feelings and take their troubles seriously. Accept your children's emotions first, so that they can think of their own solutions, and then tentatively ask what they want. This can not only train children's ability to think independently, but also make them willing to listen to suggestions.