Hakka wedding prose

My cousin called to say that her wedding date has been fixed, and asked me to go back to spend the "wedding night" with her anyway. I agreed happily. The so-called "wedding night" is a traditional custom and culture handed down from generation to generation by our Hakkas. Now is the new century and new era, and many traditional cultures have been weathered by the rapidly developing society. However, my hometown, which has left infinite memories of my childhood, has fallen into the embarrassment of being a city or a village because of the changes in development needs. Many traditional customs and cultures have disappeared under the impact of modern culture. However, Hakka women's wedding night of "crying in the bridal chamber" is simple and simple, but it is still preserved for this purpose.

According to my mother, the "crying wedding night" in their time was a very grand link before the wedding. This is a special ceremony before marriage. The bride has to cry for three nights before she can put on her wedding dress and get on the sedan chair to marry her husband's family. The "crying" here is not really crying, but crying. In modern terms, this kind of "crying" should be a tearful talk. On the first night, the village girls and young daughters-in-law will gather at the bride's house and take turns to accompany the bride to sing in the boudoir. The duet is about the two sisters' reluctant feelings. However, this is not a simple dialogue, but a duet with Hakka folk songs unique to Hakka people. The lyrics are what you want to sing. Because you sing with your heart, the emotional attachment between the two sisters is beyond words. It is natural to cry at the thought of separation from now on. The next night, it was the bride's aunt and sister-in-law who accompanied her to sing, and the content of singing was also arbitrary. However, it is mainly based on education, mainly to teach the bride red tape and humiliating etiquette on the wedding day. On the third night, it was my mother who made a grand appearance, and all the sisters were listening. The content of my mother's song is to teach the bride how to serve her in-laws and be polite to her sister-in-law. How to inherit the simple nature of Hakka women's diligence and housekeeping, virtue and virtue? Because the mother is afraid that her daughter will be wronged after marriage, and her daughter is afraid that she can't adapt to the life of her husband's family, this time is the most sincere communication between mother and daughter, and tears keep flowing. Therefore, these three nights are called "wedding night". I caught up with the good times and was born in the late 1970s. My mother told me all this, and I haven't really experienced it.

My sister is more than ten years older than me. When she got married in her twenties, it was in the late 1980s, and I was only ten years old. There is no duet that my mother said in her memory of "Weeping Wedding Night". Maybe none of my sister's generation can sing folk songs, but they can sing songs by Anita Mui and Teresa Teng, which was very popular at that time. However, when they got together to chat on their "wedding night", my mother repeated the same teaching. My sister still cried. She was attached to us and confused about being a wife. Tears are easy to infect people. My sister cried, so did my mother, and the sisters who accompanied her at night also cried. At that time, I was young and ignorant. I shouted, "What's wrong with you? What's there to cry about when you get married? Don't get married if you want to cry. " My sisters made fun of me and said, "Xiao La (my nickname, as the Hakkas call the youngest child), then you won't cry when you get married." I naturally replied, "Of course not. If you want to cry, I won't marry. " I didn't expect that when I got married more than ten years ago, I didn't speak so neatly as a child, but I couldn't help crying. The reason is that my mother taught me just as she taught my sister, and my sister is also teaching me what to pay attention to as a wife. There are also two die-hard classmates who came back from far away to attend the wedding and kept complaining that I had stepped into the besieged city so soon. Maybe I also have my sister's attachment to my parents and confusion after becoming a wife, so I can't help but shed tears. Later, I spent more time with the "wedding night", and I gradually understood that this is not a question of whether you want to cry or not, but that tears naturally flow out under the infection of the bride's complicated mood before she gets married. It should be said that the tears at that time were the products derived from that special atmosphere.

In recent years, the "crying wedding night" with sisters has also changed with the social trend. Nowadays, people usually don't get together at home, but go to KTV to get a box and have a night of partying with their sisters to celebrate the bride's end of being single, stepping into the besieged city and starting a new life. Without the participation of the older generation and the repeated instruction of my mother and aunt, the atmosphere is not dignified and relaxed. Therefore, the "Wedding Night" of modern Hakkas has existed in name only, and they have stopped crying. That's good. Let the bride get married happily.

Second, the wedding ceremony

Hakka traditional culture has a long history, and marriage is regarded as one of the three major events in life, so we should not be careless. Although modern society is a new era and style, and many old rules have been simplified, there are still some local customs that cannot be deleted and must be done well. Getting married in the city may save a lot of trouble, but in the countryside, it is still very particular. In the eyes of Hakkas, it is sacred for one party to support the other party to get married, which is not as simple as getting a little red book. Different regions have different customs and habits. Now, I will use words to talk about Hakka wedding culture. I come from the countryside, so I will briefly introduce what I know about the wedding culture and etiquette in the countryside.

On the eve of the wedding, the bride and groom must bathe and wash their hair with grapefruit leaves, which means: be an adult cleanly. Then after zero o'clock, choose a good time, cook three bowls of glutinous rice balls to offer sacrifices to the gods, and ask the venerable old lady in the village to help comb her hair. In Hakka, it is called: on the top, this is not a simple combing. Hair should be combed nine times from the forehead to the back of the head, no more or less. Comb it again, the old man will read one sentence, once for white-haired Qi Mei, twice for children and grandchildren, three times for wealth, four times for what … and so on. After combing for nine times, the couple will eat a bowl of glutinous rice balls, indicating that their lives will be enriched from now on. In particular, this etiquette is the same, and the bride and groom are in their own homes.

On the wedding day, the bride must look brand-new inside and out, take off all the old jewelry and put on new ones. No matter how beautifully you comb your hair, you should also tie a nine-foot-long red wool rope to your hair, which means: red feet will last forever. After wearing a wedding dress, you must wear a bonus (red cloth or floral red cloth) on your shoulders, indicating that your married life is thriving. Whether wearing a wedding dress or a cheongsam, you must wear a needle wearing a red line on your waist, which means: the red line attracts the phoenix and is flourishing. When the groom comes to greet the bride, the bride must be supported by her brother's relatives and carry a rice sieve with rice, red beans and peanuts on it. Then when she went out, the umbrella man sprinkled three handfuls of rice into the house and three handfuls of rice out of the house, which meant that she should take care of her husband's family like her mother's family after marriage. The most important thing is that after the bride leaves her family, she can only go straight to the groom and can't look back. The moral is that after marriage, life will be happy and long, and you will not go back to your mother's house because of quarrels.

When the groom's wedding procession arrives at the bride's house, the sisters the bride sent to get married usually ask the groom to sing. It used to be a folk duet, but now it's a pop song. Then, call the bride's name nine times to meet her. Along the way, the bride should plan in advance how many bridges there are and how many red envelopes to bring, because on the way back to her husband's house, every time she crosses a bridge, she will throw a red envelope under the bridge outside the window, which means she will only walk once. I feel that this is similar to the story in the novel. You have to pass by and leave a toll. When entering the mother-in-law's house, the mother-in-law and sister-in-law will hide and not meet the bride directly, which means that they will not quarrel after marriage. This should be people's good wishes, because I see that many of them are invalid.

At the beginning of the wedding reception, the bride and groom should propose a toast to each guest and give candy and cakes. Married guests will be given red envelopes after drinking, and those who are not married will not need them. Nowadays, people are afraid of trouble, and newlyweds can sit at a table and have a toast. After a hearty meal, it was evening and the grand wedding began. Our Hakka dialect is called "playing with the bride", because this game is purely aimed at the bride and has nothing to do with the groom, but it can't help the bride. I played a lot of tricks, so I won't introduce them here. In short, there are all kinds of difficulties, but the bride can't lose her temper and can only rely on her own wisdom and courage to get through it. Play until the early morning, then set off firecrackers and send them to the new house.

On the first day of marriage, the bride must get up early and have too many things to do. To worship heaven and earth, worship ancestors, Hakka is called: worship the church. Make tea for the new father-in-law and mother-in-law, then the elders in the same room and the people who help in the village. Then, I will roll up my sleeves and take out nine coins and nine needles in a big pot of dishwashing water prepared by the villagers. The implication is to make money. In Hakka dialect, money is called silver, and diligence is homophonic. After all this, I took seven or eight people arranged by the groom and my husband's family back to my parents' house, commonly known as Huimen. It is particularly important to note that the new son-in-law returned to the house on the wedding day, and the father-in-law specially wrote an invitation, inviting the person who sent the wedding to the groom's house and inviting him solemnly. The above paragraph is the name of the son-in-law, and the signature is the name of the father-in-law. The content is generally please eat and drink. If the parents-in-law don't like this son-in-law, they won't write an invitation, and the couple don't have to answer the door.

After knocking for so long, I finally briefly introduce Hakka weddings. I hope the official can understand Hakka weddings. As an out-and-out Hakka woman, I have been influenced and infected by Hakka culture since I was a child. I also hope that this traditional culture can be passed down from generation to generation in the ever-changing new society.