What's the difference between a smart nanny and an incompetent nanny in educating children?

Text | Zhang Women's Parenting: Be a good mother, take good care of the baby, and the baby loves her mother. (This article is original and the copyright belongs to the author. )

There is really a big difference between a smart nanny and an incompetent nanny in the way of educating their children.

Parents want their children to succeed, and parents are the best teachers for their children. However, different parents have different educational methods and different influences on their children.

The more incompetent parents are, the more likely they are to pin their hopes on their children and hope that their children can make a difference. Therefore, the more incompetent parents are, the more they may like to do these things to their children, but the result may be counterproductive. However, the practice of a clever treasure mother is very different from that of an incompetent treasure mother, and the result is also very different.

0 1 Several things that the incompetent mother likes to do to her children.

Once, my precious mother Xiao Yang complained to me that she was too tired at home and sacrificed a lot for this family, but her family didn't understand and respect her at all. She felt that her life was a tragedy and had suicidal thoughts. But after understanding, I found that this precious mother actually has the following problems, which led to her tragedy.

Complain when cleaning the house

Xiao Yang in Ma Bao is still very diligent at home and keeps the house in good order, but when she had a child, her life changed and she felt a mess.

In the past, Ma Bao Xiao Yang only needed to tidy up her and her husband's things, but now there is a little troublemaker at home. Not only the husband likes to throw things around, but also the children throw things around and there are toys everywhere. The sofa just decorated is in a mess.

At first, Xiao Yang of Ma Bao didn't complain about cleaning, but after a long time, she would complain while cleaning. Over time, the children are also disgusted with her complaints and chanting. Children who are in a rebellious period, if they say a few more words, will not only talk back, but also intensify their efforts and make their homes more chaotic.

Although Xiao Yang of Ma Bao had a hard time cleaning up the house, her family resented her because of her unforgiving mouth, and finally she was ungrateful.

Tell the children what to do.

Xiao Yang of Ma Bao, a rural person, hasn't read many books, so she doesn't have a high level of knowledge and culture. Therefore, she hopes that her children can read more books and be more promising in the future. Therefore, she pays close attention to children's learning, reports many interest classes to children, often urges children to learn, and basically does not give children time to play.

As soon as I saw the children playing, I was very angry. I thought the children didn't know how to make progress. I often told them that being so strict with the children was for their own good. Although this is true, it is not a good thing to put too much pressure on children in the name of love because they are still young. Children's ability to withstand pressure is limited. Once the child's tolerance limit is exceeded, the child may be crushed.

Children's future must be created by children. Therefore, we need to exercise our children step by step, let them have their own thoughts or consciousness, and decide some things by themselves, instead of always telling them what to do and letting them do it, which is not good for their healthy growth. On the contrary, it will aggravate the child's rebellious psychology and make the child more rebellious.

I always like to compare other people's children with mine.

For the healthy growth of children, we need more encouragement, not accusations and blows. But many treasure moms always like to compare other people's children with their own. Therefore, when we were young, we often heard our parents say that other people's children are so excellent and capable, while you are nothing, just useless.

I believe so, many people have heard of it, and many people may also? Other people's children? Come into the shadows! Sometimes? Other people's children? It seems that it has become our evil force and will never cross this hurdle. Children's self-esteem and self-confidence have been severely hit, and many people have become self-destructive or inferior.

In our life, there are many such incompetent parents who impose things they can't do on their children, hoping that their children can fulfill their dreams and do things they haven't done. This is actually an escape. In the end, it not only harms itself, but also affects the healthy growth of children.

How does a clever mother educate her baby?

Encourage your baby more

Every child is different and has his own advantages. A clever treasure mother will not blindly compare her children with other people's children. Don't always envy others, envy other people's children, and don't leave them? Other people's children? Shadow.

Clever treasure mother will try to explore the advantages of children, constantly encourage children, appreciate children, give children more understanding and support, and let children grow up healthily step by step.

You know, children are still young, and young hearts can't stand too much destruction. We need careful care, in order to better gradually build their self-confidence, so that they can grow step by step and become better.

Never do everything.

A clever treasure mother never does everything for her children, nor does she think that as long as she does everything for her children, it is the best for her children and the performance of loving them.

If children can get everything easily, what else do they need to work hard, pursue and struggle for? Why don't you lie down and enjoy eating the old ones? This is also a common problem of many parents, who do everything for their children, but in the end they are taken for granted by their children. Instead, their parents were psychologically unbalanced and began to complain.

Parents have given everything, but children still can't grow up and have no future, so they will complain and blame their children.

In fact, the growth of children also needs constant time to study hard. Only by letting children participate in life, rather than blindly staying away from life and learning, is not good for their growth.

Appropriately let children participate in some things and let them do something within their power, which can not only exercise their hands and brains, but also let them live a confident life step by step, and also cultivate their sense of family and responsibility from an early age.

Children also need freedom.

Children are not marionettes in the hands of parents, so don't always think that children are too young to do anything, and decide everything for them if they can't do it well. To know that children will fly solo in the future, they should exercise their independence and autonomy from an early age.

We should respect children's ideas, let them have their own independent space, give them appropriate freedom, and let them do what they like in their own space instead of leaving toys everywhere.

Communicate more and complain less.

For children, the most annoying thing is undoubtedly nagging and complaining parents, although parents are all for the good of their children. But complaining and nagging are parents' emotions, and doing something will also be passed on to children. If negative emotions accumulate more, children will become depressed with their parents' emotions.

For the sake of children's happiness, parents should turn complaints and nagging into active communication with their children, and regard this as their equal status. As children's friends, you can chat with your children, let them know more about their children, solve problems and make their families more harmonious.

You know, complaining can't solve any problems, but it will make things worse and worse.

03 tips:

Although parents want their children to be good and promising, and devote themselves wholeheartedly to their children, they also need to pay attention to ways and means. If the method is wrong, it may be counterproductive. By the way, get twice the result with half the effort, the family will be more harmonious and the children will be more promising! What did you say?/Sorry?