Humorous phrases of eyelids

1. Who has funny sentences, the more the better. 1. Do you know what kind of fish you are? redundant

Life is like a news broadcast. Changing the channel can't solve the problem.

No sooner had he said that he liked the sea than you started surfing.

Yes, I heat slowly, but I keep warm.

5. My upper eyelid fell in love with my lower eyelid. In order to realize them, good night.

6. Learning to bully during the exam is like Wifi, and people in Fiona Fang 10 meters are asking for passwords.

7. "Do you know the name of the iron ring on Wukong's head?" "Hericium erinaceus ... mushrooms?"

8. "How to euphemistically describe the ugliness of others" and "This face is very bad"

9. If the vegetables are salty, leave them for a while, because time can dilute everything.

2. What are some funny sentences about snoring? 1 A classmate often snores. One morning, he got up and asked his roommate, did I snore last night? Roommate A: I don't know if you snore. Anyway, the voice control light in the corridor was on all night.

Last night, thunder played all night, gongs and drums were loud, and my panda eyes came out. When I got up, I found that the ground was not wet. Boy, it turned out to be snoring.

3. "Quick, record it for him and let him listen tomorrow. The sound is simply. " At this time, the recorder has fallen asleep. "Wow, this cry is bigger than me, still recording me. I don't want to record you. "

4. Let me do it. Come on, record his snoring. We'll never get up again.

The most painful thing in the world is not where you are going, but listening to your snoring at night. I want to be quiet, okay?

6. A man said, "Look at your pale face, two panda eyes. Tell me what you did last night? " The friend said, "How dare you? Listen to this snoring. I never sleep."

7. The saddest thing in life is that there is a snorer next to you at night. He slept well, but you can only envy him.

8. I have to fight and study at night, but I seem to be sleeping, and there is nothing. I am excited every second listening to my father's snoring.

9. The last thing I want to hear is that you snore when I am weakest.

10. The closest distance between me and you is that I can still hear your snoring through a room.

1 1. When you fall asleep happily and see your harmless face, who would have thought that you would persecute the people next to you? You can't sleep and can only stare at you.

12. Insomnia every day is not only mentally fertilized, but also physically insomnia. This purr is comparable to Anbang music.

13. No one can beat my excitement at night. I can't sleep with a history book next to this snoring.

14. the Monkey King hates monks chanting, and I hate you snoring, which makes my life wish I were dead.

15. Your snoring, although my eyelids are fighting, my mind is unusually clear. Let's do our homework.

16. The farthest distance between you and me is so far, but your snoring still won't let me go.

If an idiot can fly, my company is the airport.

All men are created equal, except those who get married.

Can we go somewhere for a drink and make friends? Or should I give you my wallet?

I think as long as I have some modest qualities, I will be a perfect person.

If you need advice or opinions, we will provide them for free; If you need the correct answer, please pay extra.

In the past, when the alarm clock rang, I often had the problem of patting it before going back to sleep, but since I put three mousetraps next to the alarm clock, my problem has been eradicated.

I have done many stupid things, but I don't care at all. Friends call it "confidence".

Experiment with two bugs. The one in the whiskey died, which proves that there are no bugs in the stomach when drinking whiskey.

My creativity is indescribable, my working ability is indescribable and my writing ability is indescribable.

If Bill Gates can get one yuan every time he restarts his computer, he will be rich.

I pretended to work for my boss, who pretended to pay me.

My wife and I haven't spoken for 18 months, so I haven't had a chance to interrupt her.

Have you heard the story "The big pig said yes, but the little pig said no"?

My eyesight is very poor. For example, see the thumbtacks on the wall over there? You can see it, but I can't.

Every day I keep setting a new world record-the number of days I have lived in this world.

In the internet world, your girlfriend may be a man and your boyfriend may be a woman, which is very painful, but you have to accept it.

Your shooting performance is really poor. If I were you, I would kill myself immediately in case you need to take more bullets.

Life is really boring. Last month, a buddy of mine borrowed 4000 yuan from me and said that he would have the whole a2 operation. Now I don't know what he has become.

Notice to the robbers: Our staff only know Spanish, please wait patiently when robbing, and it is best to bring an interpreter, thank you!

Are you blind? You can't see such a big shield, but you want to throw stones at my head!

Everybody! Today is the 10 anniversary of my wife's 30th birthday!

I am forgetful, so my wife often tells me not to take an umbrella when I go out in rainy days, so there are ten umbrellas at home now.

All the columns except one are well filled in. The column of "relationship" should be filled with "mother-in-law" instead of "nervous"

Dad hit me twice today, the first time because he saw my two-point report card, and the second time because the report card was from his childhood.

Tragedy is like I accidentally cut off my little finger; Comedy is like you accidentally fell into the sewer.

When arguing, the difference between men and women is like the difference between a rifle and a machine gun.

Next, I will publish Mr. Smith's will. Before publishing the will, I would like to ask sincerely, Mrs. Smith, will you accept my proposal?

Don't call your children "rabbits", because from a genetic point of view, it is not good for parents.

Honey, I shouldn't shine my shoes with sheets, but I just got back from a business trip and I can't change them for a while. I was wrong.

In order to improve the safety of the product, we decided to print on the coke bottle cap: please open this end; Bottle bottom print: Please open the other end.

Reporter: According to a recent poll, people pay little attention to current affairs at home and abroad. Congressman, what do you think of this? Member: No problem, I don't care.

Mary, if you don't promise to marry me, I will kill myself at once, which is my usual practice.

If a lawyer and a politician fall into the river at the same time, would you rather have coffee or go to the movies?

It would be funny if it didn't happen to me.

Do you want to have good teeth? Here are three lessons for you: first, rinse your mouth after meals and brush your teeth in the morning and evening; Second, go to the hospital for a dental examination every two years; Third, mind your own business.

Without hair, dandruff is more prominent!

We are always used to thinking that the brain is the most important organ of the human body, but don't forget who made this judgment.

We should keep quiet when listening to the sermon in the church. It is impolite to disturb others' sleep.

These are not rubbish! I collect antiques! Of course, you can throw it away if you don't like it.

Artificial intelligence cannot be compared with the stupidity of nature-because we advocate pure nature.

If a person still laughs freely in the face of criticism, then he may have found a scapegoat.