Very incisive funny copy in the circle of friends

1. Besides marrying you and transferring money, don't take your likes and misses too seriously. It is better to make a lot of money if you are caring and careful.

2. Mom: You should get married! Me: Is it necessary to be happy when you get married? I have a classmate who has been married three times. Why bother? Mom: If the marriage is bad, how many people can get married three times?

My wife came back from a business trip and saw the photos of our classmates' reunion. My first love sat side by side with me. Wife: I knew you wouldn't forget this fox! Me: Where do you want to go? What's the point of just sitting together? My wife slapped me: that means you need to be beaten!

Doctor: "Can you see the words on the wall?" Patient: "What word, where?" The doctor stamped his foot and said, "There is nothing wrong with your hearing. Next. "

5. being used by others? As long as you become a loser, no one can take advantage of you.

6. A man's anger is like setting off firecrackers, and it ends with a bang. A woman's anger is like lighting mosquito-repellent incense, keeping the temperature high and going back and forth.

7. Girls fall in love with one person to support a dormitory, while boys fall in love with one person in a dormitory.

8. When you are poor, you think you will be happy if you have money. When you are really rich, you find that there is more money than happiness. This is simply happiness.

9. You are worried about how to make money, and now I am worried about how to spend money. Who can tell me how to use 100 yuan next month?

10. My friend borrowed 10,000 yuan from me, and I transferred it to him on WeChat. After receiving it at the end of the year, he still has to pay 999. If you want to reduce one piece, you can reduce one piece. Forget it! Unexpectedly, his phone came: Kyle, did you get it? Originally, I paid you more than eight yuan according to the bank interest, but WeChat withdrew 10, which was less than 9999. Thinking of the long and auspicious Spring Festival, I posted a few extra hairs ... Listen to his tone, if I don't give you a red envelope, it's because I'm not interesting enough!

1 1. Who is smarter than a genius? You have no chance of winning. You should compete with his stupidity and win.

12. Q: If someone gave you $500 because you were ugly, would you accept it? A: Of course, otherwise I am not only ugly, but also stupid.

13. I have been versatile since I was a child, and there is another instrument that is particularly handy. Whenever I quit, I always play the best!

14. Some people stay in bed because they have money, and they can sleep as late as they want. I'm different. I stay in bed because I have no money, so I can save a meal.

15. If you study, study. Why do you have to take the exam? There is no trust between people.

16. Boyfriends are amazing things. With a boyfriend, a lovely girl can become a woman, and a woman can even become a mineral spring.

17. In order to prevent me from spending money indiscriminately next month, I spent all my money in advance, so I am clean and upright.

18. Men can't find a girlfriend, so they can only tell their fortune. Fortune teller: You are doomed to have no women in the first half of your life. The man's eyes lit up: what about the second half? The fortune teller said: You will get used to it for the rest of your life.

19. Only girls can understand that there are always some clothes in the closet, which is a pity to throw away and stupid to wear. I used to buy it as a poor dog, but now I think it is ugly! Every season will say, no clothes to wear.

20. Today, someone asked me why I am still single. I smiled and said, "Because the factory configuration is too low, the upgrade is useless!" !

2 1. My future husband must be a road idiot, or he hasn't found me yet.

22. When I broke up with my ex, I was fine during the day, but I couldn't restrain my inner emotions at night, and I secretly laughed alone under the quilt.

23. I just saw a man like you. I chased like crazy, only remember that there was no you in this city, and I stopped. I put down the brick in my hand and almost hit the wrong person.

24. The so-called maturity is nothing more than recognition of the years, and right and wrong are indisputable. Regardless of gains and losses, the shirt is tucked into the waistband and a thermos cup is taken when going out.