20 classic quotes from professors

1. People who cut off their noses can still be slaves. At most, the two holes are a little larger, which makes them prone to colds. This does not affect productivity.

——Ding Linghua, East China University of Political Science and Law

2. The Panchen Lama’s will is generally not too specific. He will not write: In E103, Huazheng Songjiang Campus, if you find this It'll be troublesome if you don't arrive. He would write: In a place with mountains in front and lake behind. So all the lamas went out.

——Ding Linghua, East China University of Political Science and Law

3. Clinton looked down upon George W. Bush, who was once a ruffian.

——Liu Xiaoxian of Shandong University

4. There was a ruffian in Beijing named Wang Shuo. He yelled and cursed Lu Xun, but Lu Xun ignored him because Lu Xun was dead. Seeing that no one was paying attention to him, he went to scold Jin Yong again. Jin Yong turned around and touched it. It turned out to be a child, let's go and play.

——Liu Xiaoxian of Shandong University

5. I think every day that when I retire, I will go out to beg for food with a cane. I sleep under the bridge at night and comb my hair if I don't want to, take a shower if I don't want to, and change my clothes if I don't want to. How cool is that? People have mysophobia, and I also have a filthy fetish.

——Zhang Depeng, Huazhong University of Science and Technology

6. When someone asked Chiang Ching-kuo who his next successor was when he was about to die, he only heard him say vaguely: "You Wait a minute~" But somehow, it turned into Lee Teng-hui.

——Zhang Depeng, Huazhong University of Science and Technology

7. "Liang Qichao often dictated articles while playing mahjong. The next day the article was published, and people said, 'Liang Gong's articles are so good at writing. Always with emotion."

——He Yizhong, East China University of Political Science and Law

8. "Why did Hong Xiuquan start a revolution? I think it was because he couldn't get into college."

——He Yizhong, East China University of Political Science and Law

9. The stock market has reached a very high level now. Don’t rush in and hold up the barbell. As soon as you go in, they will come out, leaving only You are holding on there alone. When Taiwan is liberated, you will not be liberated yet.

——Li Ruoshan, Fudan University

10. The judicial police came to the door and said they wanted to check a capital verification report. There was no other way, so I had to show it to them and buy bananas, apples and oranges at the same time. A large table was laid out. The bailiff watched it for 5 minutes and said that your capital verification report was fake and your bank deposits had been frozen. The people in the office jumped up when they heard this. You are still eating my banana! The bailiff immediately put the banana down and said I won't eat it. You also have a property with two cars. We have brought the seal and put it up...

——Li Ruoshan, Fudan University

11. Don’t think that Big 4 is as big as Big 4. good. When I first thought about it, it was very tempting to get 4,000 or 5,000 yuan as soon as I graduated from my undergraduate degree. But if I think about it carefully, I work late every day. Apart from that, the average hourly wage is not much. Look at the busy season, I get up earlier than the cleaner and go to bed later than the lady. I know a male classmate who went to the toilet at 2 o'clock in the middle of the night, cried a lot, then washed his face and continued working.

—— Li Ruoshan, Fudan University

12. I have applied to be the head coach of the Chinese team several times, but they just refused to approve it. Why not the Chinese team? I can’t get ahead of others and I can’t do advanced mathematics!

——Huang Qinghuai of Xi'an Jiaotong University

13. "I have contacted the children's hospital before coming to class. If you make this mistake 5 times, you can enter the children's hospital. , it’s still free.”

——Huang Qinghuai of Xi’an Jiaotong University

14. Pigs are also thoughtful. Don’t look down on pigs. Pigs are beautiful.

——Meng Xiantang, Tianjin University

15. The sun shines brightly and brilliantly because of its own inner passion, rather than reflecting external light.

——Gu Nanyong of Sun Yat-sen University

16. There is a factory called "China International Pacific Shoes Co., Ltd.". When I went there, I saw more than a dozen old ladies in Huayang Street. In the sole.

——Zhang Jun, East China University of Political Science and Law

17. Do legal persons have the right to life? No, so the legal person does not want to die. Does the legal person have image rights? No, so legal persons are shameless.

——Zhang Jun, East China University of Political Science and Law

18. In fact, these have nothing to do with me. I was only 9 years old and didn’t pay attention. What made me most angry was that Jiang Qing changed the name of a farmer "Wang Xiaoqi" to "Wang Miekong". After our family heard this report on the radio, my mother laughed with joy, because my mother's surname was Wang, and I Dad has been quarreling all his life, but this time he is relieved. My dad was so angry that he slammed the table: "You bastard! You call me Wang Mie Kong? I think you call you bastard!"

——Kong Qingdong of Peking University

19. Old Huang is not only yellower than us, he is indeed older than us. He grew up in an old revolutionary area and was an educated youth. Apart from serious knowledge, he also had some crooked talents. In the novel he wrote, he specially invented a curse word: "Look at your mother." As soon as we entered school, Huang explained the mystery of this term in detail from a philological perspective. Everyone admired it and supported it. He became our 93-level party branch secretary. I said to Lao Huang, it seems that those of you who study the Chu Ci are all gangsters, while those who study the Wei, Jin, Sui and Tang Dynasties are all gentlemen. Based on this alone, Li Du is higher than Qu Song. Old Huang's eyes flashed and he said solemnly: Comrade Qu Yuan is an upright man who cares about the country and the people. He would rather die than join in with corrupt officials. How can he be a hooligan? I said, take a look at your "Li Sao". In the opening chapter, it is clearly stated: "The emperor's testicles are descendants, and my emperor is erect." Isn't this pornographic enough? Huang Fengxian laughed loudly after hearing this and said: "It seems that those of you who study Lu Xun and Hu Shi are not good people. You are dedicated to destroying our beautiful traditional culture."

——Kong Qingdong, Peking University

< p> 20. At the airport on the night before I left, I had just signed an autograph for a fan and was savoring the smell of durian alone. Suddenly, a kind-hearted middle-aged gentleman came up to me and greeted me and said, "Mr. Jiewei is so kind!" He said: "Thank you, I don't want to meet you." The man said: "Sir, have you ever participated in a monogamous group?" I was stunned for a moment and said, "A monogamous group? I have not participated in it. I Participated in the Youth Writing Brigade." The man said, "You must have participated in a monogamy group. I've seen you on La Ge Feng Fang TV!" I said, "Phoenix TV?" Is it the Yihu One Talk? Yes, I have participated in it, the old man has good eyesight." I thought to myself, I will tell Hu Yihu next time that his program is said to be a "monogamous group", and it is similar to Dou Wentao. "Rape threesome" just makes a couple.

——20 classic quotations from Kong Qingdong of Peking University_Jiyu classics

1. The programs I loved to watch in the past no longer love to watch; the idols I admired in the past no longer love to watch. If you worship someone, this may be something to be happy about, because it may mean that you have entered a new stage in your life. The charm or wisdom of those people who once fascinated you are just the ladder of your life. Once you step on it and go up, when you look back, you will be surprised that the ladder is neither bright nor noble. Please don't get sentimental about it because you've moved past it.

2. No matter how good you are, there will always be people who can’t stand you; no matter how bad you are, there are still people who think you are the only one in the limited edition.

3. Since there is nowhere to escape, it is better to be happy. Since there is no pure land, it is better to meditate. Since you didn't get what you wanted, it's better to be relieved. When you return to inner peace, no longer care about gains and losses, and no longer criticize others, you will live in perfection, and the present moment is where you belong. People's happiness is given by themselves, and inner satisfaction is perfection; if the heart is not satisfied, it will be difficult to obtain true happiness. The so-called perfection is not the absence of pain and joy, but the joy and sorrow along with the circumstances.

4. Life is short, don’t rush. If you let go of some things gently, you may not feel relaxed. Some small things can become big things if you think about them too much. Some details, if taken too seriously, can turn into tragedy. After all, it's all just fantasy. Therefore, it is said that a heavy person is tiring, and a heavy heart is tiring the heart. Take it easy as a person.

5. The heart cannot be greedy, it is enough to have someone who understands you; one cannot be in love, having a heart that understands you is wealth.

6. Many times, we win words but lose feelings.

7. Every time I want to find someone to accompany me, I find that some people cannot be found, some people should not be found, and some people cannot be found.

8. The value of life lies in valuing oneself, and the meaning of life lies in working hard and making progress.

9. In this life, some things are unexpected. Human mental maturity is a process of gradual elimination, knowing what is most important to oneself, and knowing what is unimportant. Then, be a pure and simple person.

10. When we are strong enough, it is difficult for us to be offended, because things that once stimulated our self-esteem and were considered to be showing off have become commonplace and even disdainful for us. clutter. The things that stirred our hearts back then will no longer be included in our horizons. Calmness is because we become stronger.

11. Life is like a bumper car. If you hit the right direction, you will be glorious for a lifetime. If you hit the right environment, you will be comfortable for a lifetime. If you hit the right luck, you will be smooth for a lifetime. If you hit the right hobby, you will be fulfilled for a lifetime. If you hit the right lover, you will be fulfilled for a lifetime. , you will be happy for a lifetime; if you meet the right lover, you will be in love for a lifetime; if you meet the right leader, you will be relaxed for a lifetime; if you meet the right friend, you will be happy for a lifetime; if you pass this on to your friends, you will be happy for a lifetime.

12. If you cover your mouth, worries will come out of your eyes.

13. The key to happiness or misfortune in life depends on where you face. Time can experience many things and understand many truths; it can prove many things and see through many people; it can collect a lot of dust and cleanse away a lot of dust. Time can seal away many years and open up many memories; it can heal a lot of suffering and wash away a lot of pain; it can look at the complexity of the world indifferently and be calm about the warmth and coldness of the world.

14. Leave your mood to those who understand you, and leave it to those who love you. Not everyone knows your thoughts; not everyone will smile at you.

15. Only those who are not happy show off their happiness. Those who are really happy have no time to show off their happiness. Only people who have no money show off their wealth, while people who are really rich pretend to be poor. People who lack love will show affection every day, while those who are in true love will get married and have children long ago. Only those who are weak at heart should always praise themselves for their kindness. Those who are truly kind are well-known and do not need to boast. So, show off whatever you lack. Good lives are not something you show off, but you live them.

16. Flowers fall silently, and fallen leaves know autumn. In this late autumn afternoon, you can catch a ray of sunshine, listen to a piece of piano music, read a few volumes of poetry and sip a cup of fragrant tea, and feel that the days are forgetful and full of comfort.

17. You don’t have to envy what others have, as long as you work hard, you will have it; you don’t have to show off what you have, because others are also struggling and will have it. More happiness, less worries, no matter rich or poor, high or low status, shallow or deep knowledge. Laugh happily every day, go to bed when you are tired, and smile when you wake up.

18. Be more free and easy, complain less, and allow yourself to understand and interpret life with an open-minded attitude. Life is short, don’t embarrass yourself. Let us walk through the spring, summer, autumn and winter of life calmly and happily.

19. The real friends around you have little to do with your beauty or ugliness, or whether you have money or not, but they must have something to do with whether you are kind and humorous. A friend is not the one who can help you when you are in trouble, but he must be the one who will not laugh at you.

20. Every day we live now is the youngest day in the rest of our lives. Life is short, cherish valuable people and valuable things, and stay away from complaints and dissatisfaction. 20 classic quotations

1 Some people always complain that they can’t find someone. It doesn’t matter once or twice. If there are too many, there will be problems. First of all, you have to examine whether you have any problems. If not, then You need to examine your own vision. Why do you always encounter bad people every time? 2. If lovers who have broken up can still be friends, either they have never loved each other, or they are still in love. 3 It’s not that you don’t care about some things, but what you can do if you care about them. There are no ifs in life, only consequences and results. Maturity means facing all the little things with a smile. 4 The beauty of a person is not the appearance, but all the past events that have been experienced, which leave scars in the heart and then fade away, making people strong and peaceful. Therefore, elegance is not a matter of training, but a kind of experience. Indifference is not a disguise, but a kind of precipitation. In a sense, people will never grow old, only their appearance will age, and time will make a soul become more and more attractive.

5 Happiness is seeing the warm lights at home after traveling a thousand miles; it is the first moment you see your parents after returning home after a thousand miles; it is lying on the balcony chair in the afternoon, basking in the sun, watching your mother working with a smile New Year's Eve dinner; happiness is when the north wind is blowing outside and you can eat steaming and fragrant meals with your parents; happiness is seeing the smiles on your parents' faces; happiness is when the whole family gathers together or is noisy, Or bland. 6 You are still young, and you don’t know how wonderful it is to be plotted by only one person in your life. 7. Life has its ups and downs. No matter what you lose, you can’t lose your mood. A good life should be about having a relaxed and at ease heart at all times, and being demanding is a sharp knife against thorns. If you are harsh on others, others will not forgive you. Only by understanding the loveliness and admirability of this world can we live up to this rare life of ours. Everyone has to take the detours in life. Don't remember your mistakes for too long. Let some things go. 8 Life is all about living today. Your bitter fruit today is the foreshadowing of yesterday, and your efforts now are the flowers of tomorrow. As long as people live in this world, they will have a lot of troubles. However, pain and happiness depend on your heart. No matter how heavy the burden is, it is still a burden to bear while smiling, and it is also a burden to bear when crying. No matter how unsatisfactory life is, you must learn to warm and comfort yourself, and give yourself more appreciation and encouragement. 9 Life has good times and bad times, peaks and troughs. Being arrogant when you are proud and dejected when you are frustrated are both shallow lives. In the face of setbacks, if you just complain and feel discouraged, it will not only be useless, but will also devalue your own value. The most important thing in life is to grasp your own mentality, face all situations with a positive and optimistic attitude, be proud without being arrogant, frustrated without losing ambition, and let the vicissitudes of the world pass, and I will be safe and sound. 10 If a person really loves you, he will not dislike your three-digit weight, your cup size between A and C, the sporadic acne on your face, or your slender thighs and breasts. Not slim ankles. If a person really loves you, he will work hard to exercise so that he can pick up your little flesh, buy all kinds of delicious food for your greedy you, and stare at the imperfect you like a treasure. . Love is never about catering. 11 Luck is when opportunity happens to hit your hard work. Networks should be farther away, relationships should be closer, interests are not driven by deep friendships, only those who are in harmony with each other are best friends; career should be farther away, things should be closer, and only those who are willing to think small can achieve great things. 12 Girls who ask for red envelopes every day actually never really want money, they just want the other person to express their love for you. People who really want money never say this word in their mouths, but they can really defraud a man's pockets. So, what women say is completely different from what they think. The sign that a woman loves a man is to pester you, annoy you, and make you distressed. Asking you for a gift, but buying it for her is too expensive is true love. 13 I pretended not to care and told myself that I was so strong and could bear everything. However, when I was forgotten in the corner, I realized that I could not afford to lose and I would be afraid. Those messy thoughts can no longer be sorted out. I never dare to hear news about you again, for fear that I will be sad to hear that you are living a better life than me, and for fear that your depravity will make you laugh at me. The so-called strength is blurred to me. 14 As people grow up, they gradually learn to hide their secrets and what they want to say deep in their hearts. They guard their own thoughts and refuse to tell others. They are like an animal that takes a bunch of useful and useless things back to its cave and hides them. , and then pacing, guarding, and lingering outside the cave very alertly and alone, not letting anyone get close. One day, I got tired. 15 No matter how difficult it is, we have come all the way, so there is no need to be afraid of the place further away. There is one thing in the world that is more loyal to you than anything else, and that is your experience. The days in your life, the people and things you encounter in them, the joys and sorrows, feelings and thoughts you have as a result of these encounters, all belong to you only and cannot be transferred to anyone else, even the people closest to you. This is your most precious possession. 16 I hope that all women will not choose marriage because they have no other choice. I hope that all women will not choose marriage because they have no other choice. I hope that one day, for all women, love will be not only a thick quilt that provides help in times of need, but also a diamond watch that is the icing on the cake. 17 There once was a smile that appeared in my life, but in the end it dissipated like mist, and that smile became a rushing river buried deep in my heart, unable to swim across it, and the sound of the river became my daily routine. The desperate singing of the night. 18 When I took this step, I thought I would come back one day.

Unexpectedly, that time was the last time we met. From then on, I only had the road ahead of me and nothing to do behind me, and there was no way to look back. 19 Some things cannot be forced. Love is a two-way street, and unrequited love should have a bottom line. When you reach the bottom line, it's time to quit. If this road doesn't work, you should think of another way instead of wandering at the intersection. No one is left here, there is a place for people. 20 There is nothing better than liking something in one moment and then spending many years questioning why you like it. Don't ask too much from life, life will be full of surprises. 20 classic quotes about life

1. After loving, feeling pain, and crying, I realize that if it’s not mine, I shouldn’t want it.

2. Don’t try to rewind, this is life, not a movie.

3. Sometimes giving everything to someone is no better than doing nothing for someone else.

4. We are not good at expressing, so we are used to guessing. To affirm, to deny, over and over again, later we become sensitive and fragile.

5. You will be reluctant to let go, but if you don’t let go, you will be hurt the most.

6. I thought the butterfly could not fly across the sea because the butterfly did not have the courage to fly across the sea. Ten years later, I discovered that it was not that the butterfly could not fly across the sea, but that there was no waiting at the other end of the sea.

7. When you don’t ask and don’t want to know the truth, it’s not that you are detached and relieved, but that you no longer love at all.

8. Love is not complicated at first. It only takes three words to come and go, either I love you or I hate you, or forget it, how are you, and I'm sorry.

9. The main reason for human progress is that the next generation does not listen to the previous generation. Ni Kuang

10. Setbacks will come and they will pass. Hot tears will be shed and they will be put away. There is nothing that can discourage me, because I have a long life, and you, you will definitely come.

11. Only when you are down will you know who is the idiot who is worried about you and who is the stranger's bastard.

12. Don’t look at me from your perspective, you can’t understand.

13. Don’t look at that wound. One day it will become scarred. The scar will not fade, but it will no longer hurt.

14. In love, someone will always be let down. It doesn’t mean whoever you love will love you.

15. At that time, he said that he understood your deep affection and thought that he had finally captured your true heart, but in the end, he held someone else's hand. You won't understand until a long time later. It turns out that understanding is one thing, but choosing is another.

16. Wrong love means liking inappropriate shoes. My feet hurt when I wear them, and my heart hurts when I throw them away.

17. Things that you think are useless now will definitely be useful in the future. Don't take it easy on what you are doing now.

18. Human eyes are composed of black and white parts, but why does God want people to see things only through the black part? Because life must see through the darkness to see the light.

19. Life is so short and the world is so chaotic. I don’t want to quarrel, have a cold war, or regret for a second with you.

20. A friend is someone who understands what I say and don’t mean.