Humorous classic funny sentences

Classic humorous sentences (selected 2 15 sentences)

Men who go home early tell stories to their wives; Men who come home late make up stories for their wives. The following are the humorous classic funny sentences (selected 2 15 sentences) I collected for you. Welcome to reading.

Another boy wrote about a dog he kept. The dog will die after eating rat poison. When he arrived, "I saw the puppy lying on the ground twitching and looking at me with dull eyes, as if to say,' Little master, I'm leaving. You should study hard for me! I will bless you in the spirit of heaven and get a hundred points every time! ”"

2. It seems that when I was in primary school, I once called to write about watching the movie Gioyuru. A classmate wrote. We went to see Jiao this afternoon. I'm burnt to death. We left.

His leg was hurt, but in order not to get wet, he carried me like a fly.

4. Go out to play by bike with classmate XXX. His valve core is broken. I'll take mine out and put it on him. We rode home happily together.

5, two children quarrel, two children I won't let you, you won't let me, the sky is dark, the sun and the moon are dull!

6. Show the cleverness of the students: the eyes in the same place often turn around in the sky like an airplane.

7. "The students looked at the clean classroom, wiped the sweat from their foreheads and smiled ..." After cleaning, everyone laughed silly and naive.

There are two jujube trees in the yard, one is jujube tree and the other is jujube tree. Lu Xun's classic works have also been seen by many primary school students, so the yard is full of peach trees, apple trees and vines. ...

9. "My grandmother is an old man with a rosy face. She often tells me many stories. She often counts stars with me. I dropped the quilt at night and she came to cover it for me herself. It is really happy to have such a grandmother. " After writing, I couldn't help cursing in my heart. Shit, I won't go out to play with the children. ...

10. In the memory of the most unforgettable thing, many primary school students wrote that the most unforgettable thing was a lie. "I promise I will never lie again from now on. Tonight's punishment is my last punishment. Although I have made many vows, I am serious this time! " So I finished a lying composition. ...

1 1, the sports meeting 100 meters finally started, and the students ran out like wild dogs.

12. After helping the old woman cross the road, she asked, "Thank you, little friend. What's your name? " He patted his chest and replied, "My name is red scarf." Ashamed, I secretly blamed myself for being sent to school by my grandmother when I was a child. ...

13, when writing about my favorite person, my favorite person is not my parents, but the beggar uncle. He left a bone for my dog with a kind heart, and his kindness moved me for a long time ... At that time, it seemed a vulgar topic to write that his favorite people were his parents. ...

14. Today, I saw the old cow of the farmer's uncle's family quietly plowing the field. His spirit of silently contributing to farmers' uncles is worth learning. Since the teacher told us to learn from others extensively, the spirit of learning from cows, sheep, pigs and dogs was particularly fashionable for a while.

15, "It's sunny today and there are no clouds in Wan Li. We came to XX Park for a spring outing. The first thing you see is a rockery. " In the afterglow of the sunset, we reluctantly left, and I will always remember this happy and meaningful day! "In fact, the most uncomfortable thing about this day is to worry about writing a composition again. ...

16, I hope the class will be over and the school will be closed. My goal has always been persistent.

17, skipping classes is a carnival for one person, and attending classes is the loneliness of a group of people.

18, school! Although you have my people, you can't get my heart.

19, youth is running wildly, then falls down beautifully, gets up and runs again.

20. From primary school to university, the only constant is a heart that doesn't want to learn.

2 1, extreme obedience is treason.

2, don't rely on others, when you still have someone to rely on.

Love is so short, forgetting is so long.

4. Take the same street and return to two worlds.

I want to cry, but I don't know how to cry.

6. The weak who are not understood must remain strong.

7. In that year, when the cardamom was in its prime, whoever promised to die.

8. You like you only because of me.

9. Wandering between forgiveness and despair, the only feeling is injury! It hurts! It hurts!

10, put a period at the end of each sentence, and record it as waiting for nothing and being confused.

1 1, beginning irresistible, ending irresistible.

12, waiting, is the first old life.

13, people who are afraid of being hurt will never catch true happiness; People who are afraid of hurting others will always be hurt intentionally or unintentionally by others.

14, no matter how lonely, those figures will never be forgotten.

15, I put down my dignity, personality and stubbornness because I can't let you go.

16, don't use my kindness to you to hurt me.

17, I really love you. I closed my eyes and thought I could forget, but the tears I shed didn't deceive myself.

18, it turns out that forever is just a misunderstanding.

19, when we were young, we gave up and thought it was just a relationship, but later we learned that it was actually a lifetime.

20. I am crossing the street. Where are you?

2 1. At first you wanted to be apart, and now you want to exchange true love for me.

If you want something, just let it go. If it can come back to you, it will always belong to you; If it doesn't come back, it's not yours at all.

23. Stay in bed for a lifetime. I know.

24. Some people inadvertently forget it; Some people, no matter how hard you try, can't forget.

25. I didn't know him at first, and I didn't know him at last.

26. I was still waiting for you, but you forgot that you had been here.

27. I am on the other side of the river and have returned to watch. There is no hope of returning.

28. The fairy tale is over, and forgetting is happiness.

29. There is nothing you can't get through, but you can't go back.

There is nothing wrong with liking someone, but liking someone who doesn't like himself.

3 1, please don't pretend to be nice to me. I'm stupid and will take it seriously.

32. The fish took the bait because it fell in love with the fisherman, and it was willing to use its life to make the fisherman smile.

The most unforgettable thing is that you will never think of it, but you will never forget it.

Thank you for your rudeness, which made me learn to give up.

35. How strong do you have to be to forget?

Looking back, we are writing sad youth with a happy mood.

37. What is happiness? Is to hide your sadness and smile at everyone.

38. Sincerity is the closest to sadness.

39. On the day you left, I decided not to shed tears, covering my eyes against the wind and trying not to blink.

40. I believe the world will always be so beautiful.

4 1, as beautiful as flowers and as beautiful as jade, like water passing by. You can go back, but you can't go back to the beginning.

42. Nothing is more sad than not dying.

43. Waiting for your concern until I close my heart.

44. I put your story in my microphone, above my life and under my memory.

45. Sometimes, love is also a kind of injury. Cruel people choose to hurt others; Good people choose to hurt themselves.

46. I am a little happy when I miss you, and a little sad when I am happy.

47. When you do something right, no one will remember it; When doing something wrong, even breathing is wrong.

48. What will eventually get you into it is always beautiful at first.

49. I miss what you no longer miss.

50. Read other people's stories and shed your own tears.

5 1, I'm fine, I don't make noise, I don't show off, I don't feel wronged, I don't laugh, and I don't need others to know.

Don't lie to me, you know I will even believe your lies.

I won't give up, but I can't die.

54. When tears came down, I realized that separation is another kind of understanding.

55. Whose loneliness covers my clothes and whose clothes cover my shoulders.

56. In the moonlight, I used complicated words to pay homage to my youth and to commemorate my lost friendship and late love.

57. Happiness means finding a warm person for life.

58. His heart has already changed seasons, and you are still standing on the day when he made a promise.

59. At that time, when I ran over my youth, I would annotate my sadness with happiness.

60. Don't regret what you missed. People and things you miss, others have a chance to meet, others miss, you have a chance to have. Everyone will miss it, everyone will miss it, and what really belongs to you will never be missed.

6 1, others can see the happiness on their faces, but who can feel the pain in their hearts?

62. Who really takes who seriously, who is distressed for whom.

63. Even if the world forgets you, there will always be a few people who say happy birthday at the beginning of your life!

64. Dusk is a short sadness of youth.

65. If you are born wrong, you will never die.

66. I can't stand the fleeting time, but I can't escape the teenagers here.

Happiness tells me that you are too young.

68. Unfortunate people should be stronger.

69. In this world, no one can really feel the pain of another person. You were shot in the heart, and you were in pain. This is just your own business. Others may sympathize and lament, but you never know where your wound is festering.

70. You are beyond my imagination, and I am beyond your imagination.

7 1, always shallow, but deep.

72. The air soaked by rain is tired and sad, and the fairy tales in memory have slowly melted.

73. When was the last time you fell asleep laughing?

74. The most regrettable thing in life is to give up what you shouldn't give up easily and stick to what you shouldn't insist on.

75. The cruelest way to treat a lover is not to love and hate, not to cheat and betray, but to gradually become indifferent after reaching the extreme.

76. Pray for heaven and earth to let go of a pair of lovers, fearing that what happens will never happen.

77. I like myself now, and I miss us in the past.

78. Always born in a casual year. Look back at the other side. Even after 16 years.

79. Who told me you were too young?

I won everyone and lost you.

3 1, God didn't give me a big job, so why bother, worry, starve my body and skin.

Don't talk to me, I will only make you worthless.

3, don't think that meeting me is your fate, maybe it is your hurdle.

4, show me less, when you are a palette.

5. The most painful thing is lovelorn, and the most uncomfortable thing is insomnia.

6, life is like a coffee table, always full of cups.

7. Being single is not guilty, and making others single is guilty.

8. It is because of my low profile that your high profile has been achieved.

9. Planting grass won't make people lie down. Why don't you plant cactus instead?

10, who can tell me who the other half is? I thank his ancestors for eighteen generations.

1 1. Last time you confessed to me, I was ill for several days.

12, on the road of love, I always stop and go, and my mother says I can't walk.

13, it was amazing at first, and it was only seen by the world.

14, I'm not good-looking, but I'm not as free as you are.

15, your beautiful long hair always hurts my face.

16, if she dares to steal money today, she will dare to steal someone tomorrow, with one-stop operation.

You can lie to me once, but please don't doubt my IQ and lie to me again and again.

18, am I so radiant that you can talk nonsense?

19. Holding a Chinese pencil, I suddenly saw your shadow. Take a closer look.

20. I need to gain weight so that I can bear the pain you have given me.

2 1, in class, the teacher suddenly said, stop talking and wake up.

You only taught me how to cry, but you didn't teach me how to try to forget.

23. When I was a child, my family was poor. I can't afford a bike, so I go to school by taxi every day.

24. When I miss you, I am happy, and happy people are sad.

25. What is hateful is not mistress, but a little beggar who can't stand the temptation of mistress.

26, lies have three treasures: everlasting, everlasting, love to the old; There are three treasures in Korean dramas: car accidents, cancer and incurable diseases.

27. The most hateful thing is not the advertising time, but the ending song after the advertisement.

28. If you don't curse, don't curse! Once scolded, scolded to death.

29. If you want to compete with tigers who can starve to death more, you win.

30. If you need suggestions or opinions, we will provide them free of charge; If you need the correct answer, please pay extra.

Thanks to my being a fat man, I can pinch my stomach when I am sad.

I never talk about people, but I always talk about myths.

3. Don't be lazy with me, I'll be lazy with you.

4, life I am sorry for you, because I have never been good to you.

5, seventeen or eighteen years old, angry, thrown into the water, the water can be boiled.

I know it's not good to waste time, but I really enjoy it.

7. I thought meeting me was your fate, maybe your hurdle.

Since you are a loser, I will use it.

9. Hot and grumpy. Stop it if I don't laugh.

10, one white covers all the ugliness. Are you white or ugly?

1 1, hooligans are not terrible, but they are afraid that hooligans have culture.

12, you should learn from Tencent, and call me dear as soon as you get online.

13. If a man doesn't help you put on a wedding dress, you can give him a cassock.

14. Couples come every year, especially this year.

15, you asked me how much I love you. Money can represent my heart.

16, close your left eye and see your lovely shyness.

17, I am so cute that even mosquitoes want to kiss me.

18, live fish will go upstream, and dead fish will drift with the tide.

19. Why does God always doze off when I am unlucky?

20. Pretend to be a city dweller. Now the earth is called a village.

2 1, there are no more tears in my eyes, some are full of tears.

22. Some people can't say anything, but I just want to see him take a bath.

23. I didn't mean to be different. How can I have outstanding taste?

24. I am online and you are offline. Why didn't you die while I was alive?

25. Wear school shoes and take the road of learning hegemony.

26. You are my special concern, but you are not my recent visitor.

27. Poor grades are temporary, but my beauty is always there.

28. It's very hot, isn't it? It will be cold on Qixi Day.

29. Adults are overdue children and the elderly are invalid adults.

30. I have the ability to pick up girls, but unfortunately I am a girl.

3 1, lend me your daughter for one year, and I will pay you back one big and one small next year.

Don't be lazy with me, I'm too lazy to compete with you!

You can't have it both ways, but you can be single and poor.

34. None of you can bully her, only I can!

35. Don't laugh at your cell phone at home, your parents will think you are in love.

36. Because I have a glib mouth and jade teeth, I don't talk easily.

37. Skipping classes is a person's happiness, and attending classes is a group of people's loneliness.

38. Your life is like a clothes hanger, covered with a green hat.

Teacher, can we change the teaching method? Like dreams.

40. Look at your wonderful bones. Being with me is good material.

4 1, the most painful love triangle in the world, I love to eat, and fat loves me.

42. Everyone else has hit the South Wall. I must make a lot of money repairing the South Wall.

43. Insomnia, I picked up a physics book and fell asleep soon.

44. When you smile, I collapse and my heart is pounding.

45. The secret of staying young is to have a restless heart.

46. Be a carefree eater and an idle eater.

47. If you like cheating so much, why don't you go to ballet?

48. When I said I couldn't afford to be hurt, it was the day when your house caught fire.

49. I really envy you for having a handsome and witty me on your friend list.

50. Don't talk to me about feelings. Talking about feelings hurts money.

5 1, your name is up to me. Hmm? Call your husband!

52. When I met him, the whole person changed. Neither bullet could penetrate my face.

No matter what happens, don't bow your head, because you have a double chin.

54, you boy, you are really crazy, and your breath is bigger than beriberi.

55. Long time no see, I don't know how ugly you are.

56. To live is to toss and turn, because we will all die for a long time.

57. Believe it or not, I patted you on the wall and couldn't get it off.

As a monster, my wish is to destroy an Altman.

59. Other people's money and wealth are things outside their bodies.

60. The night will not be kind to those who sleep late, it will give you dark circles.

5 1. Boyfriend: What do you want? Will you stop being unreasonable? Girlfriend: unreasonable, yes, I am unreasonable. As a man, can't you say you are sorry? Just say sorry to me! Boyfriend: Sorry. Girlfriend: Do you think you can just say you're sorry?

2, the tea is really bad, praise him when it is soaked, and then throw it away mercilessly after it is soaked.

3. When there is no money, there are a group of friends; When you have money, there are a group of bodyguards. ...

4. Life is like a pancake, you have to turn it over several times before it matures.

5. Young people don't work hard. The boss does his homework.

6. Hold your hand. If the child doesn't leave, he will stun the child and continue to drag it.

7. I suddenly found that my homework is like a wife and my mobile phone is like a mistress. When I am with my wife, I think of my mistress. When I am with mistress, I still feel sorry for my wife, who is dying.

8. Honey, don't get me wrong. Our love didn't get cold, but solidified.

9. I like the night when I can fall asleep immediately in bed, but I live in an era of sleeping with you-paralyzed and excited.

10, I don't ask you to turn back. I just hope that you will fall into the pit when you go forward without hesitation, so that I can catch up with you.

1 1. Be modest, listen to other people's opinions, and then carefully write down who has a problem with you.

12, Lao Wang fell into the dry well at the entrance of the village. With the enthusiastic help of the villagers, Lao Wang finally adapted to the life at the bottom of the well.

13, watching TV with her boyfriend, the heroine in the play has leukemia, and the hero never leaves. I asked affectedly, "I'm going to have leukemia." Will you leave me? " The boyfriend said firmly, "No" and "Why?" "I won't live for a few days anyway."

14. Don't forget to cover your roommate with a quilt if you wake up at night.

15, once I squatted on the ground to play with something, my male god slapped me from behind, and then I farted loudly in fear.

16, I can't sing out of tune, I just like singing my own songs.

17, don't try to teach pigs to sing, it will not only lead to no results, but also make pigs unhappy!

18, the only thing I can afford to put down is chopsticks.

19, it is here every year on Tanabata. Go for a walk and have a look. Break up a couple is a couple!

20. Old people can't fight. Children can't fight. Women don't fight. Men. Fight to the death

2 1, if you have money, you lose your family; if you have no money, you worship God.

22. Now you scold me because you don't know me yet. When you get to know me later, you will definitely hit me hard.

23. accompany me to the store. no, it's my treat. go, accompany me to the bathroom. no, it's my treat. get out.

24, the school is not a funeral home, check what remains, what mourning clothes to wear.

25. Eldest brother, do you have the nickname "Gao Qiu"? I'm completely pissed off by you.

;