Letter to my daughter

# Parenting experience of 0-6 years old #

Ask,

Hello, I'm your mother.

The last time I wrote to you was five years ago in the evening, 20 days before you were born. That night, I realized that a daughter was about to become a reality, and suddenly I was full of great desire for your birth, so I rolled over and got out of bed and wrote your first letter, a letter to my daughter.

I still remember, in order not to affect your father's sleep, I didn't turn on the light, quietly put on my robe and touched the living room. In the dark, only the computer screen is bright. I typed out what I wanted to say to you one by one. Only the two of us can hear the clatter of typing in silence. At that time, I definitely felt that you were with me.

It must be admitted that before this, my feelings for you were not as strong as I thought, especially compared with all kinds of surging maternal love I read and heard, I doubt whether there is anything wrong with my feelings. Of course, I learned later that emotions are very personal experiences, and it is normal to have differences. It is of little significance to refer to and compare others. What matters is what your own real experience is, and others can't tell you. In fact, it was not until a few months after your birth that I gradually realized that you are a real existence, my daughter, not an imagination. How can I put it? When you were born, I thought I fell in love with you at once, but as you grew up, I thought I fell in love with you gradually.

On the day you were born, I have been trying to stare at you, looking at every part of you, studying the shape of your five senses and seeing where it is similar to me; But I don't know if it's because you're too young or I'm too excited, and I always forget when I turn my head, so I watched you lying in bed for a long time and kept sighing in my heart: "Ah, this is my daughter, I gave birth!" So far, observing you carefully anytime and anywhere is a hobby that I am very satisfied with. Seeing you has become a very quality thing in itself. Other times, when I read a book or watch a movie, I will make a judgment on whether it is worth watching, but for you, there is nothing to judge. You are the meaningful thing itself.

Five years ago, in a book for my daughter, I wrote that I was worried that your head was big, your legs were not straight, your hair was short, and your singing was out of tune. As a result, your head is really big, your eyes are as big as your father's and your mouth is as low as mine. But now every time I look at you, I think this combination suits you very well. It's a powder carving jade carving. It's not objective at all.

This reminds me that before I gave birth to you, I even wrote a self-analysis article "Choosing to have children" about the motivation of childbearing, and now it seems to be a lot. After you came, there was nothing to analyze. You are the one who doesn't need judgment, can't be wrong, can't be too much, and can't be too late. Of course, reading and exercise count, but they must lag far behind you.

Your birth satisfied my curiosity. It turns out that a brand-new little man was born with such hands and feet, such as drinking milk and crying. Every time I see diapers become swollen and heavy, milk bottles become empty, small socks are hung on hangers, and toys are piled up in a mess on the bed, I will be happy again, as if I had given birth to a daughter again. When you are naughty and angry, I have never really been angry. By rights, I inherited and guided you. If you want to be angry, you should be angry with myself. In love, your existence is happiness itself. I hope I will never be really angry with you.

In fact, although I often say "only the strong and the weak, regardless of gender", before you were born, I secretly expected you to be a boy. Because I will be a little worried, in case you are the kind of little girl who loves to cry, complain and hurt Chunqiu, I am afraid I will not like you. But you're not at all. From a baby to a little girl, you are a decisive, clear and highly accomplished child.

At first, I also thought that my mother's judgment could not be objective, but this year I made the right choice and took you to participate in the online reality show "Incredible Mom". The camera verified your characteristics for me. In front of all the tasks, peers and the audience, your decisiveness and clarity, as well as the completion of your work, surprised me. Now, I am glad to have a net to leave these childhood images for you. If you encounter any difficult tasks when you grow up, you can come back and see how great you were when you were a child.

Now that you are almost five years old, it can be said that no matter what kind of imagination I had for you when I was five, you have surpassed it.

Everyone says you have my personality. The reason that made me happy at first really came from finding that you like me. But soon, I found that you are not like me, you are emitting your own light. Dear question, although you said in the program, "I want to be a mother when I grow up." But you know, as long as you have your own light, it doesn't matter whether you look like your mother or not.

My mother, that is, your grandmother once said to me, "If you are not my daughter, I also think you are a great person and I will like you very much." I think this is really a great compliment. Although it is impossible to be completely objective, the position is correct. Your grandmother said that when I was an adult. But now, as your mother, I already feel this way. If I were not your mother, if I were a program audience and saw your performance, I would think you were great and lovely.

I love you because you are my daughter, and I love you because you are you.

Great changes have taken place in my career and life in the five years since you were born. I have been getting busier and busier in the past five years, but fortunately, I was there for the first time when you stood up and walked, and called Mom and Dad for the first time. I used to hear people say that no matter how tired I am at work, when I come home and see my children's smiling faces, my sense of fatigue will dissipate. I think it's a bit exaggerated. Now I think it's because I'm not tired enough

I'm always tired now. Of course, this is the way I choose to start a business, and I have to bear it myself. I also chose to give birth to you and let you experience this world with me, but when you were young, I also had to bear it for you. Speaking of which, we all want to thank your father, who supports me and dotes on you. It is because your father supports me that you learn piano, dance and so on, and your father spends most of my time with me, so I have enough time to do my own thing. He dotes on you and spends more time and energy on you than I do now. You have a good father.

One more thing, you may not feel it until you grow up, that is, your father insists on fitness, goes to bed early and gets up early, and eats healthily. He is a role model for both of us. The whole family must influence each other. I feel very practical when I think that you will be familiar with healthy living habits when you grow up.

One more thing, by the way, I must admit to you that I love you very much, but I still love myself very much. I want to spend a lot of time pursuing who I want to be and finishing what I want to do. But you know what? Loving you doesn't mean loving yourself. If I love you, I hope you will experience less stress and pain in the future, although I know those things are inevitable after all. Love myself, I will spend enough time paying attention to myself, but more importantly, I will take the initiative to face those pressures and pains. To love yourself is to make yourself stronger and better. The only way to be strong and beautiful is never easy.

I hope you always love yourself the most.

In the process of recording "Incredible Mom", we always talk about winning or losing because we have to complete the task. When you grow up, you will find that people have many different views on this point. My opinion is still: these are very personal experiences, and it is normal to have differences. It is of little significance to refer to and compare others. What matters is what your own real experience is, and others can't tell you.

People naturally like to win, no one likes to lose, but when they grow up, they will start to be afraid of losing, and they will make excuses in advance to prevent losing, saying that they don't have to win, and the result is not important.

I hope when you are ten, twenty or thirty, you can say "I like winning!" " Eyes as clear as now. Because the best way to prevent failure is to win. There will be countless selections and exams when you grow up. In this world, you will find that victory is reserved for those who want to win.

Of course, the ultimate goal is freedom and dignity, which I have been pursuing for many years. It may be too early to tell you about freedom and dignity. At this stage, I hope you can experience the happiness of victory as much as possible, and then try to usher in the next happiness. That kind of happiness, you will want to taste it again after you have tasted it. You know, my generation has Li Na and China women's volleyball team. At the moment they win the final, many people who hate winning or losing will be extremely excited. I hope you can exercise, see more sportsmanship, and take part in the competition with a sense of confrontation, cheer for others and get applause from others.

Ask, you are my eternal surprise. Just now I saw your little back practicing the piano, and everyone was still thinking, "Ah, this is my daughter, I was born, and I have a daughter, who is five years old!"

-Your mother, Wendy Wang.

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Ask, we are still a team! Right?

The original article was published in ShapeyourLife (20171218) as soon as possible.

Author Wendy Wang _ Smart Sister