Children always make mistakes, "never change after repeated education"? Learn 3 tricks to solve problems or parents.

For parents, in the process of educating their children, the biggest headache is that children make mistakes again and again. I really don't know if Xiong Haizi didn't understand the teaching or deliberately "corrected the mistakes", which has become the heart disease of many treasure mothers.

The treasure mothers in the group always have all kinds of endless parenting problems, among which the disobedience of children is almost commonplace.

The biggest headache is Pippi Ma, 4-year-old Pippi is naughty and disobedient, and she loves to hit people, which is hopeless.

There was a "criticism meeting" at home last night, which gave Pippi a serious lesson. The reason is that the 2-year-old brother robbed Pippi's toy in the morning, and Pippi naturally beat his brother and cried.

"At the meeting in the evening, I seriously criticized Pippi and told him that it was wrong to hit his brother. I also said that Pippi can't bully his brother. At that time, my son nodded and seemed puzzled. I thought the child could last a few days, and my brother was beaten by his brother this morning. "

Pippi was a little embarrassed by the reason-the younger brother went to rob his younger brother's toy again.

Pippi looks very anxious. "I really don't know how to educate my children. I am too young to understand the truth. The older one is disobedient, and I can't beat him. What can I do? "

In fact, there are not a few parents who are so distressed like Pippi Ma. They will also worry that their children will make mistakes again and again, but in the end there is no solution. Let's talk about children's "persistent education" today.

Connerman, a Nobel Prize-winning psychologist, has a very famous book "Think Fast, Think Slow", which puts forward the concepts of "think fast" and "think slow". Through these two concepts, we may find the answer to let children insist on teaching.

"Quick thinking" is simply "direct thinking", and in layman's terms it is intuition. Your first reaction to the present situation is "quick thinking". The characteristics of quick thinking are sensitivity, dependence on intuition, but easy to get emotional. So it's easy to make a wrong reaction.

And "slow thinking" represents logical thinking and rational thinking. This system runs very slowly and needs time for logical analysis and rational thinking. When problems that cannot be solved by the "fast thinking" system appear, they will be thrown to the "slow thinking" system.

In this way, children's repeated mistakes are easy to understand. For example, Pippi beats his brother. When his brother robbed his toy, his first reaction was to get it back. If my brother strikes back, he will have to do it himself. This is the result of "quick thinking".

At this time, if Pippi could stop to "think slowly", think about his parents' education and find a solution to the problem through logical thinking and rational analysis, he would probably not hit his brother.

For children, most of the time, the prefrontal lobe that controls the "slow thinking" system is not fully developed (it will not be fully developed until adulthood), so it is difficult for them to "slow thinking" and their actions are basically the result of "fast thinking".

Parents may say, I believe this is the reason for twice, but if I correct a problem "800 times", the child still commits it almost every day, and the child is obviously intentional.

Not exactly. Most of the problems are with parents. If you have a clear communication with your child, the child has clearly known that some of his actions are wrong, but he will continue to make mistakes repeatedly, which may be the result of parents' frequent criticism.

"Every strong criticism from parents has become an enhancer for children to remember this matter." The biggest problem is the content of parents' criticism.

Take Pippi's mother as an example. Every time Pippi started, her mother would stop it and tell the children that it was wrong to hit people. It is wrong for her brother to take care of him, and it is wrong for you to hit him.

All these statements are true, but Pipma ignores the most crucial point. Pippi didn't give the child a correct answer every time he was educated-what should he do?

In other words, Pippi's mother only saw Pippi beating her younger brother, telling him that it was wrong to do so, but she didn't tell him what was the right thing to do, nor did she tell her children what Pippi should do the next time his younger brother robbed her toy.

In a wrong scene, parents blindly criticized the behavior and did not give the answer to the question. Instead, they strengthened the child's memory and deepened his wrong behavior. Children will naturally make mistakes again and again.

Now that we know why children insist on teaching, it is not difficult to educate them. You can guide from the following aspects.

Some parents simply criticize and admonish their children after they make mistakes, and then help them clean up the mess. This will only pit your own children and make them make mistakes repeatedly. Letting children experience the consequences of making mistakes is the best way to educate them.

For example, if you tell your child the dangers of playing with fire, you only need to burn his fingers with a small flame, and he will always remember it. And so on, the effect will be much better.

Sometimes, no matter how parents educate their children, they don't realize their mistakes, so they will teach them again and again. Other children's mistakes are the product of "quick thinking" Therefore, parents should help their children "think slowly".

Let children calm down and think about the consequences of their actions and how to deal with them after making mistakes. Don't criticize education when children make mistakes, but guide them to reflect. Such education is much more useful than blind criticism.

Finally, whether parents educate their children, criticize them or reason with them, they should try to think from the children's point of view. Understand their thinking level and ability, and educate criticism in some languages they can understand, so that the effect will be better.

In addition, parents should not be idle when their children make mistakes and give them time to think slowly. Now parents should try to think about why children do this (make mistakes) from their children's perspective. Many times, after understanding their motives, you will find that the way to correct their mistakes may be simple.

Koi fish, Mommy still wants to say.

Everyone makes mistakes, adults are no exception, let alone children. The key is whether we can learn from our mistakes and learn to grow, and whether we can let our children learn more and grow more in the process of educating them.