"My daughter will come back on the second day of the second year, and you will go back to your family after the New Year." Should a daughter-in-law stay at home and do housework?

Being a family is fate, and we need to cherish each other in order to maintain the harmony and stability of a family. But in real life, many people can't do it. They often think only of themselves, but never of each other.

When a family quarrels, it is often impossible to put themselves in the other's shoes, especially in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

For many mother-in-law, when a daughter-in-law marries her son, she just disowns her mother's family. She must first consider her husband's family and listen to his elders.

This is one of the reasons why many women don't like their mother-in-law. Many women try not to get along with each other when they can, but on some holidays, especially during the Chinese New Year, it is inevitable that there will be contradictions in getting along.

The reader (Xiaoya) has experienced such a thing. Although she has only been married for two years, she has already seen her husband's "double standard" when she returned to her family for the New Year in the first year.

Xiaoya is very kind and always knows how to put himself in others' shoes, but once he meets an unreasonable person, Xiaoya will only suffer.

Before getting married, Xiaoya's parents were very worried about this and told her many times at the wedding that she should not be too tolerant and accommodating to others, nor should she be too wronged.

In fact, Xiaoya's parents said this for a reason, because before marriage, they had an argument when talking about the bride price, and Xiaoya's parents had already seen each other's "double standards."

At first, my parents-in-law gave priority to taking care of the two guys, so parents should not interfere too much. Xiaoya's parents felt that their in-laws were quite open-minded, but as soon as they turned around, they put forward many opinions, giving priority to the old couple's opinions everywhere, such as bride price and wedding venue.

Xiaoya believes that although marriage is a matter for two families, it is still a matter for two people. She also has expectations for the wedding and has her own requirements. What's more, her parents also paid a down payment for the wedding room, and her husband's family just paid a bride price of 50 thousand. Why are you so bossy?

Although her husband agreed with Xiaoya, he said he was embarrassed and that he would be nice to Xiaoya in private. Anyway, I won't live together in the future, saying that my parents are also good for them.

Xiaoya thought about "home and everything", so she didn't care, but she laid a curse for her marriage.

Although mother-in-law and daughter-in-law don't live together, mother-in-law always has an excuse to come to the door. One minute she said she was worried that Xiaoya's cooking didn't suit her son's taste, and the next minute she said she was here to help the young couple clean up the house. In fact, she came to supervise Xiaoya's "duty". Once Xiaoya quit, her mother-in-law would nag endlessly, as if her son had suffered much injustice.

Xiaoya's mother visited her daughter and happened to meet her in-laws. In front of Xiaoya's mother, her mother-in-law said that Xiaoya's mother was a guest and Xiaoya's mother was also a guest. Hearing this, the mother-in-law was unhappy and said that this was her son's home, and it was natural for her mother to live in her son's house.

Xiaoya's mother didn't want to embarrass her daughter. She only thinks of each other occasionally, but she doesn't care. Unexpectedly, the other party pushed his luck and moved directly into Xiaoya's house. Finally, Xiaoya's mother said that she would move in and let the other person leave. In this way, the mother-in-law did not take any advantage and went back.

Xiaoya seems to have returned to a clean life, and no longer has to deal with her mother-in-law. However, it is inevitable to go back after the Spring Festival. Xiaoya thought that as long as she was not at home, she would try her best to endure it, and she would leave in a couple of days anyway.

However, it turns out that Xiaoya is too naive. As soon as she entered the door, her mother-in-law said that this was her first year to go back to her husband's house for the New Year, and she was responsible for preparing the New Year's Eve dinner. Xiaoya thought it was reasonable and it wouldn't be too difficult to get help, so she agreed. I didn't expect that. From beginning to end, she was the only one who helped.

Xiaoya's husband was dragged by his parents-in-law from the moment he entered the door and went to visit. In this way, Xiaoya prepared the New Year's Eve dinner alone, and they didn't come back until it was almost finished. Xiaoya was very reluctant, but at this time, she tried to endure. When eating, my mother-in-law was either too light or too salty, and said that the New Year's Eve dinner was not delicious. My father-in-law was slightly angry, and then said, "Women don't even cook."

Xiaoya has been busy all day. She held her breath for a long time and wanted to say something for herself. I didn't expect to be robbed by my husband. I smiled and said, "It is inevitable to do it badly the first time, and it will get better gradually in the future."

Say that finish, the other party took Xiaoya's hand under the table and tried to calm Xiaoya down. Xiaoya thought of her husband and said something for herself. Bear with it.

Finally, on the first night of the Lunar New Year, Xiaoya was ready to go back to his parents' home, only to find that her husband said he would postpone it because his sister would come back tomorrow and be reunited with her family. Xiaoya can't understand that she didn't discuss it with her husband in advance, and she has already discussed it. What if her sister wants to come back? Her parents are still waiting for her to go home and reunite.

The husband said he was embarrassed and wanted to discuss it with his parents. Xiaoya doesn't care. Unexpectedly, when she was packing things, her mother-in-law suddenly pushed the door and rushed in, pointing to her and saying that she was splashed by her married daughter. What did she give back to her family?

Xiaoya thought it was ridiculous and just wanted to refute it, but her husband held her back. Her mother-in-law suddenly became more arrogant and gave an order directly, saying, "My daughter will come back from the second day of junior high school, and you will go back to her family after the New Year!"

Xiaoya decided not to put up with it any longer, shook off her husband's hand and said calmly, "The first point: since you said that your married daughter poured water, why did your daughter go back to her family?" Your daughter has no parents, so I have no parents? ;

Second, even if I spill water, don't bother to collect it. I have my own small family and my parents will always be my parents.

Third: I came back to celebrate the New Year with you. However, since I came back, you have been giving me a hard time. I put up with all this. It is only natural to go back to my parents' home on the second day of the Lunar New Year. If I don't go back to spend the New Year with my parents in order to accompany my sister-in-law, it will be unforgivable and unreasonable. "

Xiaoya said quietly, but her mother-in-law blushed and couldn't say a word.

The husband looked on without saying anything, and waited until the way back before saying, "Never mind, lest my mother always go out of line."

Xiaoya knew that her husband said this because he was right. He can't refute it. As for whether she cares in her heart, she can't care so much. She said she didn't put up with it, and later found that no matter how much she put up with it, the other party would think it was her obligation and never considered it from her standpoint. In that case, why did she put up with it again?

We all know the truth of "don't do to others what you don't want others to do to you", but many people can only do the first four words, but they often ignore the last four words, thinking that everything they do is right and others should listen to themselves.

Such a relationship can only exist between superiors and subordinates. There is no such relationship between mother and daughter, husband and wife, let alone mother-in-law, but some mother-in-law just don't understand this truth and always intervene in her son's marriage as an elder.

Even as an elder, I always ask each other what to do. If it is within a reasonable range, there is nothing wrong with it, but if the other party tolerates it again and again, and you push your luck, then you must suffer in the end.

No one should tolerate you because of interests, even superiors and subordinates. There is only mutual affection between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and they need to cherish each other in order to maintain harmony.

Many times, we don't care about some things, not because we agree with this practice, not because we are afraid, but because we don't want to produce unnecessary contradictions. However, we are often considered weak by some ungrateful people.

Therefore, whether at work or in dealing with family relations, you should remember that you can bear it, but you must have the confidence to resist and keep your principles and bottom line, so that you can take the initiative in your own hands.