What should I do if I am not in my hometown all the year round and my family's human feelings are not with me?

There was a child in the neighbor's house. When his father left, there was no one in the village to take care of him. They all stared at each other with small eyes.

if it weren't for the one-stop funeral service (the county town spent 5, yuan, and someone took care of it), Dad would still be lying at home.

here we are, buried in the ancestral grave, and bought a cemetery in the county for 5, yuan.

in the countryside, don't be short of human feelings if you are short of anything. There are fewer people, and no one will support you at weddings, funerals and weddings. Neighbor's children

Neighbor's children are dishonest when they are young, jumping up and down and stealing chickens and dogs. Don't think I'm exaggerating a bit. In fact, I'm not exaggerating at all.

Our village may be a little special, and friends living in the countryside have also had this experience. Chickens and ducks in the village are generally not raised in their own yards, which is really delicious.

There will be a road between the yard, which is the road in the village, and there is a long distance on both sides of this road. Generally, a group of fences will be temporarily built outside your yard, and then chickens, ducks and geese will be thrown in.

The net is laid on it, just like the net we fish. Generally, we will keep 1 chickens, 1 ducks and 1 geese in it, so that we can continuously produce raw eggs, duck eggs and goose eggs and eat them by ourselves.

then what about the children in the neighborhood? When I was idle, I used to steal an egg. After being known by the people in the village, I chased him around the street. It is reasonable to say that everything has been tossed into this state. The father of the child has to take care of it, right?

No, the child's father told this person, how can a child not make mistakes? What are you doing so against the child? In this way, under the doting of parents, the child grows up and becomes more and more annoying.

When the child went to work in a big city in his twenties, he lost contact with the people in the village from then on, but the father of the child was similar to the child. It can only be said that no child was so naughty and his reputation in the village was not very good.

Ten years have passed in a blink of an eye, and the child's father's health is getting worse and worse. When the child learned the news, he hurried back to his hometown, and his father left before he could perform his filial duties. What should I do? Cold salad!

At this time, there is no need to talk about unkindness and coldness. It is king to hurry up and be buried. But how can burial in a village be as simple as that in a big city?

first of all, how many people do you want to invite? what are their functions? Is to help you hire some vehicles, wear some special objects, and then prepare some special things for you, and by the way, tell you how to walk the rhythm of the whole tomb. There are not many people. There should be three or five people, who belong to the elders in our village. Every time there is something white in the village, we must invite them over at the first time.

besides, our village is divided into different hospitals. What is a hospital? In short, it is a different surname, which can be understood in this way. What does it mean? There may be five surnames and six surnames in a village, and each different surname basically belongs to the same hospital.

For example, Qiansun Zhao Li, if your surname is Zhao and my surname is Sun, then we are not a hospital. If it's not a hospital, you don't have to get involved in this matter, but if your surname is Zhao and I'm Zhao, we are all Zhao family members. So good, almost all Zhao family members will come and give a show when they encounter such a white matter.

At the very least, people feel that this family has a good popularity, and when the old people leave, there are more rows of noodles at home.

Under normal circumstances, not everyone will come, for example, the elderly don't need to come, the young don't need to come, the young or middle-aged men come first, and then the women come in batches. At noon, I ate a pot of rice in a small corner, boiled it and moved it to several long benches. In the afternoon, I tossed it back and forth for two or three days anyway, and this funeral was officially over.

After that, the cemetery is chosen. Generally speaking, the open space in the village is arranged according to generations. For example, when someone died last year, where was his grave? This year, it is in another place or corner of this place.

That's the problem. On weekdays, the neighbor's child doesn't have any contact with the old people in the village, and he talks and acts like a thief. The word-of-mouth in the village is really flattering, even when I left the village a few years ago, I kept stealing chickens and eggs.

Nothing happens in the village, and the child's father is almost stubborn. When he is idle, he either quarrels with the east or the west. The reputation of this family is simply terrible.

It is reasonable to say that the deceased is the eldest. Even if he had some conflicts with some people in the village before his death, no one would struggle or find trouble at this time. But who would have thought that after the child returned to the village, he took out the music and put it there without looking for the elders in the village or contacting the people in his own courtyard.

then sit in the yard by yourself. how can you do this? At the very least, you have to contact some elderly people in the village and take the initiative to bow their heads and admit their mistakes. That's it, but this child is not stubborn.

after two days, I saw that no one helped me, and I had no choice but to call the funeral service. That one-stop funeral service has never seen such a thing. It is reasonable to say that someone in the village has left and it is necessary to put a white cloth strip at the head and end of the village, but this village has not put it at all.

for this reason, the funeral procession almost found the wrong place several times, and finally got it done. the child closed the door without saying anything and went on working in the big city. It's a big problem that people in the village can't be handled well.

You should understand that the village and the city are different. I didn't mean to praise or criticize, and I didn't say how the village and the city were secretly sarcastic, which was unnecessary. Just as far as things are concerned, the village pays more attention to human relations.

what is human feelings?

You have a good relationship with him today, so good. He will help you tomorrow if you have something, even if it's free. But if you don't have a good relationship with him today, I'm sorry. Even if you give him money tomorrow, he won't come to help. This set of logic can be understood if everyone can straighten it out. If you are away from your hometown all the year round, the consequences are very serious. Red event or small event

If there is a red event, then those people in the village don't follow the bride price, and the human feelings didn't leave before, it doesn't matter. To put it bluntly, as long as you spend money, someone will definitely come to pay tribute.

First of all, people in the village don't take the initiative, so it's impossible for all your relatives not to move around, right? If you don't even move around with your relatives, you probably won't get a wife, will you? Is the popularity so bad? That won't be enough.

what is the main force of the red event? It is your relatives and classmates, and the relatives and classmates of the woman, who put the people on both sides together. There is nothing else to say. At least you can gather five tables, which is not shabby or shameful, right?

as long as you have these five tables, the basic problem will not be big.

In addition, there are basically not many rules and etiquette for red events. Even if there are rules, it is not up to the old people in the village to decide. Just find a master of ceremonies. As long as he has a little effort, there is nothing else to say. If he has presided over more than two weddings, he should be able to know exactly what to do.

It's not that complicated. Different villages have different rules. Generally, it takes two or three hours to get it done. Of course, it will take time for the team to pick it up in the morning and send it back here at night, but what is the most important time?

It's from 11: a.m. to 2: p.m. During these three hours, as long as my mother-in-law is accompanied and happy, as long as these relatives are fed and drunk, it will not be a big problem. As for the people in the village, they will come if they want, and they will not come if they don't want, which will not affect themselves.

at best, it is to influence the money I received, but I didn't give it to the old people in the village before, so I'm even. I won't suffer much if I find it out. White things are often the most troublesome

Red is not terrible, but white things are terrible, especially in the village. I won't talk about how complicated white things are in the village. It's as short as 3 days, as long as 7 days, and even 7749 days in some places.

Because you have to come back after 49 days, we will deal with all kinds of complicated procedures in the middle according to the simplest one, and we will deal with them in three days. Have you found it? These three days are also deadly.

first of all, it is impossible for relatives to come in droves when doing nothing. Even if these relatives come in droves, it is impossible to say that they will stay for a long time after coming. Generally, it is almost enough to come for one morning or one afternoon, or one day.

But it takes three days to do nothing. During these three days, people come and go, and people can't stop. What should we do? You must use the people in the village. If the people in the village don't come to help at this time, you will be miserable alone. If you think about this situation, you may not even be in the mood to cry.

Secondly, the white matter in the village is about seniority. What do you mean by seniority? At the very least, you should have some manners and where you should bury the cemetery. All these things need the help of people in the village.

For an inappropriate example, there are eight graves in a certain plot, so according to the regulations, after the old man left, he should be ranked as the ninth grave.

What will you do if the old people in the village don't take care of it? It's bad, at least the people in the village will ignore you, and even worse, you may be removed from the genealogy, which is a very miserable thing.

Secondly, the White House has a series of etiquette constraints.

And few people will tell you about these things. What is white matter? It is to get the rules in place and let the children say goodbye to their parents for the last time. There are many rules when doing things in vain. These rules can't be bought by others. Why don't you find another emcee? Well, I'm sorry. The emcee's legs are shaking with fear.

There are no more than 2 people in a village who really understand the process of white affairs, that is, those geniuses. They live in their seventies and eighties and are responsible for this matter every year, so they can gradually accumulate most of their experience. For this group of people, if you are offended or don't move at all, I'm sorry, you may lose a lot of face in the process of doing nothing.

In the end, the white affair is different from the red affair. Anyone in the red affair can come to help, even a passer-by, and he will gladly help you if you give him 5 yuan. Why?

Because this is a good thing in itself, if you go to a certain wine restaurant and book a seat, you can directly tell the hotel owner that I will give you 2, yuan or 5, yuan, and you can invite more people to serve these relatives comfortably.

No problem, absolutely no problem. Hotels are most willing to make this kind of money, because this kind of money is quick at first, and second, it is a pleasure. Who doesn't want to earn? White things are different. Even if you spend money on white things, few people will come to help you, except for funeral services.

However, there are five or seven people in the whole company, and there are only a few people, which is not enough. They just do these things well according to the process, and it is still a market-oriented process, which has nothing to do with the process in the village. What should I do if I encounter such a thing?

first, bow your head and admit your mistake. To put it bluntly, red affairs and white affairs are important events in life. Even if the old man in the village is not reasonable, he will be afraid in this case. Once you apologize and admit your mistake, the weak side is you. Anyway, I will help you if I should. However, it should be noted that our apology is wrong and we should try our best to avoid becoming a moral kidnapping.

second, pay close attention to the gifts of alcohol and tobacco. The so-called perennial friendship or human feelings are not followed, you have saved so much money, you should take it out, and you should stop worrying at this time. Those elders give priority to take care of it, and the alcohol and tobacco that should be given are in place. The people in the village basically have no trouble with themselves.

third, if you don't understand, you should ask, and don't be like a fool. Like our neighbor's kid who didn't know anything, he just found a place and buried it, which doesn't mean that it can't be buried. It's just that there is such a saying in the village. In the end, it will have to be dug out again. I don't want to say anything else. I estimate that this knot in his heart will not be solved in two years. Therefore, when you encounter this kind of white matter, and the old people in the village are not willing to talk, take the time to ask as many questions as you can, and don't make mistakes. Finally, make a conclusion:

Rural areas are really different from cities. Rural areas pay more attention to human relations, and this part of human relations is not handled well, which may be very bad.

If you ask me, people who should go should still go, and those who should follow should never be saved. Because saving money at this time will kill you in the future.

This matter is easy to handle. Entrust your closest friends and relatives who you want to trust most. As long as there is a red and white accident in our village, they will call you and tell you whether to go or not. It's up to you whether to come back or not. You can ask the client to handle it for you. Don't default afterwards, and return it to the client in full. If there is a red and white incident in the near family, you should find a way to come back and handle it yourself after telling you.

It's a bit troublesome. I'm away from home all the year round, and I don't keep in touch with my hometown. If something happens in the future, others will certainly not accompany me or help me.

if there are red things to handle, go to the hotel and do it yourself, and you don't have to inform the people in your hometown. If you do, they won't come.

courtesy comes back, and courtesy comes back!

regardless of the red matter, people who have lost their hometown can still transfer without unnecessary worry.

White matter is different. After a hundred years, my father and mother want to return to their hometown, and it is difficult to go to heaven!

it's difficult to find someone to help me send my father and mother back to their hometown for burial. When my hometown heard about your family, all the relatives and friends would hide, and the relatives would not touch each other, and the villagers would not get together.

what money can solve is nothing. I'm afraid you can't handle this matter with money. That's what it is.

There is land to talk about. In my hometown, there is no land, no house, and it is difficult to find a cemetery. There is no place for ashes to rest and park. Cemetery, the brigade does not approve, private people do not give it, and it is impossible to discuss it.

if you want to ask the villagers for help, stop eating!

tell me about us. we are away all the year round, too.