Psychological problems of teenagers and their correction

Psychological problems of teenagers and their correction

Lead: Being jealous of others will not add any benefits to yourself. Envy of others does not reduce their achievements. Below I will introduce the articles on adolescent psychological problems and correction, and welcome everyone to read for reference!

Teenagers' psychological problems and correcting them hold many fantasies. In order to turn them into reality, they will make all kinds of efforts and even deliberately pursue them. When this demand is continuously or partially unsatisfied, there will be setbacks, which can also be called tension when the demand is unsatisfied. If setbacks stem from more important goals, such as study, work, love, etc. Such a setback can be called failure; If this kind of frustration and pressure lasts for a long time and has a wide range of influence, it is called being in adversity if it is placed in a life situation that is not conducive to physical and mental development. Frustration, failure and adversity will bring nervous psychological state and emotional reaction to teenagers, such as nervousness, disappointment, depression and depression, which is called frustration or frustration psychology in psychology.

Frustration is obvious in the individual's adolescent development. Teenagers in this period often experience frustrating frustration because of thinking about life, worrying about their studies, worrying about love and social obstacles.

The reasons for teenagers' frustration are very complicated and can be roughly divided into two categories:

1, the contradiction between subjective and objective is the main reason for teenagers' frustration.

Subjectivity refers to the self-demand of teenagers, and objectivity refers to the realistic conditions to meet their needs. Once there is a contradiction between the subjective and the objective, and the objective can't meet the subjective requirements, there will be frustration. Subjective and objective contradictions mainly include: the contradiction between the material needs of teenagers and the limited material conditions of society, schools and families; The contradiction between the desire for academic success and excellent work and classmates and equal competition; The contradiction between the need for self-expression and the inequality of opportunities; The contradiction between the strong demand for independence and autonomy and discipline; The contradiction between social needs and the position of individuals in the organization.

2. Imperfect personality is also an important cause of frustration among teenagers.

Although young people are full of vigor, active thinking, wide interests, bold exploration and creativity, their personality is not perfect in terms of social maturity. Such as emotional instability, one-sided understanding, strong self-esteem and competitiveness, ideal and romantic, easy to be extreme, unclear world outlook, lack of solid practical foundation and poor endurance. Teenagers' imperfect personality has become a hotbed of frustration. Since setbacks are everywhere in life and adversity is everywhere, it is extremely necessary to adjust the frustration psychology. In the face of setbacks, what we need is enterprising spirit and indomitable perseverance, and at the same time we need reason more.

Specifically, we can start from the following aspects:

1. When encountering setbacks, we should calmly analyze, find out the reasons of setbacks from the aspects of objectivity, subjectivity, goals, environment and conditions, and take effective remedial measures.

2. Be good at correctly understanding the goals of progress and adjust your goals in time. Teenagers should pay attention to give full play to their advantages, set their own goals and devote themselves to their work. If they find that their goals are unrealistic and blocked in the process of realization, they should adjust their goals in time so as to move on.

3. Be good at turning pressure into motivation. In fact, proper stimulation and pressure can effectively mobilize the positive factors of the body. "From ancient times to the present, great talents have suffered a lot and never had much talent." People's best work is often done in setbacks and adversity.

4. Have a dialectical view of setbacks and always maintain a confident and optimistic attitude. Setbacks and lessons make us smart and mature, and it is failure itself that ultimately creates success. We should accept ourselves, accept others, tolerate setbacks, learn to comfort ourselves, be open-minded, optimistic, work hard and strive for success with confidence.

Frustration education is easy to go astray.

In the process of children's growth, more and more parents have realized the importance of frustration education. Parents begin to realize that an excessively affluent living environment is not only beneficial to the healthy growth of children, but also harmful. Therefore, parents have begun to consciously educate their children about setbacks.

However, in practice, frustration education has gone into a misunderstanding. Many parents' understanding of frustration education is limited to the surface and do not understand the profound connotation of frustration education. They only pursue the lively external form and think that letting children suffer more is frustration education. Actually, this is not right.

Summer vacation is the busiest time of all kinds of "hard" summer camps: trekking in the wilderness, exploring in the mountains, investigating people's living conditions in poor areas, and visiting the backcountry where parents cut in line to settle down ... these are the hot spots of summer camps in previous years. The holding of these summer camps has indeed played a very positive role in helping young people living in affluent material conditions, especially urban young people to understand society objectively and comprehensively, and to cultivate hard-working and excellent moral character. However, we must not overestimate the role of similar "frustration education", because similar education is at best only one aspect of "frustration education"-suffering education. This kind of grandstanding activity may move children for a while, but it can't solve the problem fundamentally.

Psychologists tell us that the ability to resist setbacks is mainly cultivated without adequate preparation. When children attend the above summer camp, they have made all kinds of psychological and physical preparations, and even if they want to gamble, they must withstand the painful test. This is not a real frustration education, and it is not very helpful for children to deal with setbacks in life in the future. Because setbacks in life are unexpected, they usually come when they are not ready.

Parents often fall into another misunderstanding, that is, the more setbacks their children suffer, the better. In fact, frustration is a negative emotional state in which an individual's needs are not met due to obstacles and interference when engaging in purposeful activities. Since frustration is a negative emotional state, it is a basic psychological common sense that the more the better. Too many setbacks will make you lose your self-confidence and become very inferior and weak, just as students who are often criticized by teachers can't establish their self-confidence in learning, which is contrary to the purpose of "frustration education". Therefore, as far as "frustration education" is concerned, both quantity and quality should not exceed the necessary limits.

In short, parents should understand the true definition of frustration education before educating their children, so as not to go into misunderstanding, fail to improve their ability to resist setbacks, and may also hit their self-confidence and have a negative impact on their healthy growth.

Appropriate setbacks are conducive to children's growth.

A few days ago, the Ministry of Education issued the "Regulations on the Work of Class Teachers in Primary and Secondary Schools", in which "Class teachers have the right to criticize students" caused widespread discussion. Today, with the emphasis on respecting children and safeguarding their rights, teachers and parents seldom criticize students for fear of hurting their self-esteem.

After being criticized, the students began to hunger strike.

Ceng Laoshi is the head teacher of grade two in a primary school in Guangzhou. She has some troubles in educating her children. Last year, there was a boy in her class who was very naughty and active. He likes talking and playing pranks in class. Ceng Laoshi patiently educated him, but it didn't help much. Once in class, the boy secretly caught the girl's pigtails with a pencil case, and the girl cried out in pain. Ceng Laoshi severely criticized the boy and asked him to apologize to the female classmate. As a result, he didn't mean to apologize at all, just looked at the teacher stubbornly. In order not to affect the class, this matter is put on hold for the time being. Unexpectedly, the next morning, the boy's parents called and said that he didn't eat a bite from last night to this morning and didn't want to come to school. I hope the teacher can call to persuade him. Ceng Laoshi is in distress situation. The teacher's criticism led to this result. The little boy has no ability to bear setbacks, and he will encounter many unsatisfactory things in his later life. How should he face it?

Expert analysis

Long-term prosperity and high self-esteem

Children who grow up in prosperity for a long time have a relatively high self-evaluation. Because of the impact on the self-esteem system after frustration, they are prone to two extreme reactions: one is that they may move from a state of high self-confidence to a state of self-denial, and attribute the failure to themselves, which we call "internal attribution", which may show anxiety, depression, sadness, injustice and other reactions emotionally; The second is that children feel good about themselves, because they have been growing up with flowers and applause. When setbacks and failures occur, they are often attributed to the external environment, which we call "external attribution". At this time, they may not be able to accept other people's accusations, resulting in dissatisfaction, anger and resentment, and even make some extreme behaviors, such as attacking teachers, parents or classmates. Therefore, in daily life, it is helpful for children to receive some frustration education in the future.

Frustration education at all stages

Early childhood: pay attention to letting go of exercise.

Try to let children leave their parents' protective circle, let go of their hands and feet, and do what they can, such as eating and dressing. Don't be afraid of trouble, let the children do it repeatedly, and the children will find the right method in constant practice; Secondly, let children do physical exercise, encourage them to get up early to exercise when winter comes, and take them hiking, climbing mountains and visiting parks on holidays to have fun while experiencing hardships; In addition, children can learn about setbacks through criticism, neglect and punishment. For example, in game activities, there is no need to let the child win every time, and there is no need to let him be the protagonist every time, so that he can experience frustration and learn to adjust himself.

Primary school stage: based on children's personality.

First of all, we must instill frustrated thoughts in our children. On the road of life, we may encounter many unpleasant things. We should make full psychological preparations, accept setbacks and then try to overcome them. In addition, parents or teachers can deliberately set some frustration situations to guide their children to face and overcome them, such as taking seven or eight-year-old children shopping and then letting them go home by bus. Of course, parents should consider all kinds of emergencies in advance and explain the countermeasures to their children.

It should be reminded that children's personality characteristics should also be paid attention to when setting setbacks. For particularly introverted children, we should give priority to encouraging education. For extroverted and complacent people, parents can criticize education bluntly. Secondly, we should consider the child's endurance, and don't always suppress him in order to cultivate his strong character. Sometimes it backfires.

Parental contribution

Find the reason for failure from yourself.

My daughter is in the third grade of primary school. Because she was brought up by her grandmother and the old people doted on her children, almost all the requirements were met, so her daughter was very headstrong and competitive since she was a child. On one occasion, her class was re-elected as a subject representative. Her daughter was originally a representative of the Chinese subject, but another student was elected. She came home depressed and said angrily, "The teacher is partial. That girl's reading is not as good as mine. I will never be that broken cadre again. "

It can be seen that the daughter does not realize her mistakes, and blindly blaming others is not good for her future life. This is a good educational opportunity, and I should seize it. "Give up so soon, students will look down on you." I dared my daughter to stop talking, and then I carefully analyzed the reasons for the failure with her. "See the elder brother of the small hui. Although his leg is a little disabled, he insists on going to school as usual, and he is still a class cadre popular with his classmates. You should learn more from him. " I encouraged her with an example of a disabled boy in the community, and her daughter was very moved. Instead of blaming the teacher, she began to find problems from herself and said that she would try to be a class representative again.

-Xinxin Dad

Frustration education is carried out in small things.

Nowadays, it is more common for parents to spoil their children too much, and it is more common to protect their children too much. In the community, we often see such a scene: a child over one year old is learning to walk and accidentally falls down. Some parents immediately ran over to help the children and said with distress, "This floor is really bad, which tripped our baby." Then beat the ground with your hand. This practice will only make children attribute falls to external factors and cannot face setbacks correctly. In life, children will encounter many setbacks, and parents should take the opportunity to educate their children. For example, when he is looking for a small toy, parents should not bring it to him directly, but guide him to find it himself; When he eats one ice cream and wants to eat another, he should stop and not follow. When he cried because he couldn't get dressed, his parents tried to show him, not replace him. ...

-Ma Qiqi

Tips for frustration education:

● Control the reward. When children make a little progress, don't give too much material rewards and praise, simply praise them and treat them with a normal heart.

● Frustration education is not equal to scolding education. Don't deny children casually.

People who are competitive should decompress.

For those who pursue the perfection of life, they should be relieved. In A Dream of Red Mansions, Wang Xifeng is glib, shrewd and competitive, and manages Jia's house from top to bottom. She is a famous "Phoenix Pepper", a typical type A personality.

People with this personality generally pursue perfection, have a strong sense of time and self-motivation, have a bad temper and are aggressive, but they are often not introverted, aggressive, pushy and ambitious. People with type A personality usually have a successful career and are in a leading position, but they are prone to nervousness and impulsiveness due to great pressure. As psychological stress, these negative emotions can easily affect the function of neuroendocrine system and lead to cardiovascular diseases. Studies have found that people with type A personality are 2-3 times more likely to suffer from hypertension than ordinary people. Among patients with heart disease, type A personality is as high as 98%. As early as the International Society of Cardiopulmonary Hematology 1977, type A personality has been recognized as one of the important risk factors of coronary heart disease.

Therefore, people with type A personality should learn to decompress themselves. First of all, set a goal that suits your ability. Don't always be competitive and don't always compare with others. Compare more with yourself. Secondly, people are more tolerant and less confrontational and demanding. Everyone's growth experience is different, so we can't demand everyone by one standard. Thirdly, calm down and cultivate more hobbies, such as playing ball games, listening to music and chatting with friends, which can not only exercise, but also cultivate sentiment and vent emotions. Try to slow down and be satisfied. Finally, when encountering failure, you must not completely deny yourself, but see your own character strengths, such as quick thinking, devotion to work, and outspoken speaking. If we strive to foster strengths and avoid weaknesses, we can have a healthy career and good harvest.

What should I do if I encounter setbacks in the workplace?

The modern workplace is a highly competitive place. It is common to encounter setbacks in the workplace. When encountering setbacks, most people will feel depressed, which is normal. How to resist setbacks and overcome the negative emotions caused by setbacks has also become an important topic for people in the workplace.

Frustration means that people encounter obstacles that they can't overcome or think can't be overcome in purposeful activities, so that their needs or motives can't be met. Frustration is the greatest test of courage, that is, to see if a person can fail without being discouraged. Failure and frustration can train a class of excellent people: it picks out a group of hearts, puts simplicity and strength aside, and makes them simpler and stronger; But it accelerates the decline of the rest of the brain, or cuts off their jumping power. The following four rules to eliminate worries in the workplace will help you regain your general demeanor.

1, backwards. Talking can get rid of bad emotions. Moderate speech can gradually transform out-of-control power with language speech. As a health defense, speaking has no side effects and good effect. If the person you are talking to has high knowledge, cultivation and practical experience, it will give appropriate comfort to the unbalanced person's psychology and inspire your courage to forge ahead, while the frustrated person will receive unexpected results after some talk.

2. Learn from the painful experience. When you stand up again from setbacks, you should carefully examine the process of your own setbacks, find reasons from yourself, accept the facts of setbacks and overcome your problems at work.

3. Advantage comparison method. You can never be the worst in the workplace. There will always be people who are more frustrated, more difficult and more unlucky than you. By comparing the degree of frustration, I gradually turned my out-of-control emotions into calmness. The second is to find and analyze the aspects that you don't feel frustrated, that is, to find out your own advantages and strengthen your sense of superiority, thus expanding your frustration tolerance. Dialectics of understanding the mutual transformation of things. Frustration also contains strength, which can stimulate people's potential.

4. Re-establish goals. Setbacks in the workplace interfere with their original working atmosphere and destroy their original goals. Therefore, it is very important to find a new direction and set new goals. The establishment of goals requires analysis and thinking, which is a process of transforming negative psychology into rational thinking. Once the goal is established, it is like lighting a bright lamp in the heart. People will have the faith and willpower to adjust and control their new actions, thus eliminating setbacks and interference and working towards the goal. The establishment of the goal marks that people have stepped out of psychological setbacks and started the next process of striving for new success.

Life is a process of constantly encountering difficulties and solving them. Many of us have received frustration education since childhood. When you encounter setbacks in the workplace, you must clear up your bad emotions in time, then reflect on yourself and determine the next work goal. Setbacks are common, because setbacks can make people stronger.

Integrating Frustration Education into Children's Life

People's growth needs to face many setbacks, so frustration education is necessary for children's growth. However, many parents have misunderstandings about frustration education. They think that deliberately making children suffer is frustration education, or frustration education needs special training. In fact, parents can integrate frustration education into their children's lives and cultivate their children's ability to resist life setbacks.

"Waiting" training, exercise your baby's good endurance.

Five-year-old Tong Tong is a hothead. Every time he wants to eat or play, he must get it at once. When his parents are a little late, he makes a scene and even ignores his parents in anger. This worries Tong Tong's parents, who don't know how to deal with this "impatient nature".

Analysis: "Waiting" is something that children must learn in life, and the "waiting training" for children needs to start from an early age. For example, when a child wants to drink milk, don't rush to give him a bottle, but tell him to wait until the milk is cold. When taking your child by bus, let him wait for the bus to arrive with you; Let the children queue up to buy tickets when visiting the zoo; When eating, let the children wait for the family to come before eating ... These seemingly small things in life are actually good opportunities to exercise children's endurance.

"Understanding" training, teaching an understanding baby.

Jiajia is very sad today. It turned out that her good friend Feifei invited several friends to celebrate her birthday today, but Jiajia was not among them. After mom knew the situation, she comforted Jia Jia: Feifei didn't invite you, probably because her living room was small or there weren't enough chairs, so she didn't invite all her good friends.

Analysis: Long live understanding, a slogan that we adults often say, also needs to be instilled in children. For example, if a friend steals his toys, parents can tell their children that this is because your little brother likes your toys very much, so you should forgive your little brother. When the mother went to the kindergarten to pick up the baby, she was deliberately late. Tell the child that because the mother is busy preparing dinner for the baby and father, please forgive the baby. Dad didn't buy toys for the baby this time, because dad's income is not much left recently, and he has to ensure the daily life of the baby and his parents, and so on. With more such experiences, children can gradually develop a good habit of understanding. When he encounters setbacks or disappointments in the future, he will find reasons to comfort himself, ease his mood and release pressure.

"Try" training to cultivate bold and cautious children

At first, 7-year-old Pumbaa was afraid to take part in the children's piano competition organized by the school. His mother told him: to participate in the competition is not to get a place, but to learn how to perform in a place with a large audience. Later, Pumbaa happily participated in the competition, and his performance was still very good.

Analysis: Some children often take the initiative to refuse to try new things or things that they think are difficult, especially those who are used to being arranged by their parents. So we might as well train him to go downstairs to buy things alone, take an unfamiliar road, make toys by himself, participate in various competitions and activities, go to school by himself and go home by himself (the school is close to home) and so on. When a child doesn't do well for the first time and encounters setbacks, parents can tell him: mom and dad did the same thing for the first time, and they haven't done it as well as the baby. It doesn't matter if we fail this time. We can start over.

"Analysis" training, let the baby "win without arrogance, lose with grace"

Nini is a child who cares about gains and losses. When she got the little red flower, she went home to ask her parents for a reward and was complacent. Once you lose, tell your parents that this little friend should not take the red flower, and that little friend is not as good as her.

Analysis: Children are generally competitive and love to care about gains and losses, but they don't know the truth that "the strong will always be strong". They always feel that they must win, and they will not accept it if they lose. The formation of this kind of psychology is directly related to the concept that parents instill in their children from childhood to be "human". Parents should adjust their expectation mentality and calmly analyze with their children. If the child wins, analyze where his own advantages are, what other aspects are not as good as other children, and how to improve them; If the child fails, let the child talk about the reasons for the failure, and let the child understand that failure is inevitable, but it can be changed through our efforts.

"Target" training, exercise your baby's good willpower

Dongdong is an impatient child. Every time he does something, he gives up halfway. In view of this shortcoming of his son, Dongdong's father began to let Dongdong run with him in the morning and put forward the goal requirements. At first Dongdong insisted on running for 5 minutes without interruption, and gradually increased to 10 minutes and 20 minutes ... After half a year, his parents found that Dongdong's patience was much better, and he could persist in doing anything for a long time without interruption.

Analysis: Set a difficult problem for children, make a plan that needs to be adhered to for a long time, participate in a difficult sport, and so on. Putting forward these "goals" often takes children a lot of time and energy, especially sports, such as long-distance running, cross-country, mountain climbing and pull-ups. , the best test of children's willpower and endurance. Therefore, in daily life, it is advisable to set more difficult "goals" for children step by step, so as to hone and improve their willpower.

"Story" training, find a positive role model for children to follow.

When children encounter setbacks and feel lost, they can find anti-frustration stories of Chinese and foreign historical celebrities and tell them in a targeted manner. For example, after the historian Sima Qian suffered severe persecution, he was able to write down historical records with humiliation, which was called by Lu Xun as "a historian's swan song, leaving Sao without rhyme"; Although Helen Keller is blind and deaf, she can become a world-famous writer through hard work. Xx, Zhu De and other revolutionaries of the older generation suffered many setbacks and blows in their childhood, but they all maintained a positive and optimistic attitude and finally made great achievements. These characters are role models that children should actively follow.

In a word, we can cultivate children from the aspects of cognition, emotion and behavior in life. In cognition, let children correctly understand setbacks and realize that setbacks are objective and inevitable; Emotionally, let children experience setbacks and eliminate fears; In behavior, teach children effective ways to overcome setbacks, so that children can become a truly brave and strong person.

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