Funny article: Mom said that you can't make irresponsible friends, so all my friends are stupid.

1. If you're not crazy, you'll be old, and if you don't review for the monthly exam, you'll be finished.

2. A classmate's cell phone suddenly rang in class. To my shock, his ringtone is: Please pay attention to reversing, please pay attention to reversing.

3. It is obvious that the learning residual system needs to start the learning hegemony mode, which not only consumes power but also is particularly stuck.

4. Once upon a time, there was a fat man who heard that yoga could lose weight, and God was worth it. Two months later, he became a soft fat man.

If you wake up, don't forget to cover your roommate with a quilt. You won't have a chance after June.

6. After a while, how did your arm break? Aunt, I broke my homework.

7. Mom said that you can't make irresponsible friends, so all my friends are stupid.

8. Men are actually very single-minded about their feelings. They like 18 years old, like 18 years old when they are 28 years old, and still like 18 years old when they are 88 years old.

9. If you mess with me again, I will write your name on my underwear and beat you to death with my fart.

10. Since I have EXO, my mother no longer has to worry about my puppy love. With so many opponents, I can't care about puppy love.

1 1. You are getting fat and love meat. What happened? It took tens of millions of years to climb to the top of the food chain, not to eat vegetables.

12. My girlfriend is more than one year older than me. One day after dinner and chatting, she was a little impatient and suddenly said, what are you talking about? When I was one year old, you were just a fertilized egg!

13. Qianshan has been in love. Can you give me some advice? The world has its own true feelings, and giving a point is also love!

14. This word is really good. It was written by Xin Qiji. How do I know what day it is today? Maybe it's Sunday.

15. After studying for so many years, I think kindergarten is the best place to mix.

16. Some people say that as long as you look at the person you like, you should immediately lower your head. Don't I like the head teacher?

17. I never hold grudges. I usually report them on the spot.

18. Bajie followed Master to learn the scriptures, but he didn't lose weight after eating so many vegetarian meals, which shows that vegetarianism can't lose weight.

19. Seeing a resume, the column of what awards a college student has won is beautifully written: during his school years, he won a bottle of awards from Master Kong many times.

20. Take your hand and drag your son away. If the child doesn't leave, dizziness will continue to be dragged away.

2 1. A female friend and a gay man share a house. One night she was very depressed, and that gay gave her a bowl of noodles very thoughtfully. She suddenly felt very warm and said, otherwise, let's make do with it. I didn't expect gay's face to change greatly: you don't have a man, I do!

22. Why do you love taking selfies so much? If I don't take a selfie, who will?

23. In the junior high school baton competition, I saw a boy sprinting forward. Just about to hand in the baton, the teacher shouted, hold on, hold on. Then the two boys paused, thought for half a second, and then really hugged and kissed.

24. One day, classmate B had a nosebleed, and classmate A said to him, How did your menstruation come out of your nose?

25. On blind date, W: Can you honestly tell me what your annual salary is? M: 300,000. Woman: Are you honest? Man: I have multiplied by ten. Cigarettes are naughty. Let's smoke them comically.

Live well, because we will die for a long time! ! !

We should keep quiet when listening to the sermon in the church. It is impolite to disturb others' sleep.

People are not smart and bald like others! !

I always wander between cow A and cow C.

So many people despise me. Who are you?

I love you! What do you care?

Chopin, no matter how awesome B is, it can't play out Lao Tzu's sadness!

As long as the hoe jumps well, where can you dig down the corner?

There are two ways to pollute a place: garbage or money!

The reason of constipation is that the gravity of the earth is too small.

I don't know if I went to college or if college fucked me.

Most people only do three things in their lives: deceive themselves, deceive others and be deceived by others.

Pain is an enjoyment that only sober people can have …

Don't be lazy with me, I'm too lazy to compete with you.

University is learning!

I have a left dragon, a right white tiger and Mickey Mouse tattooed on my shoulder.

Other people's money and wealth are things other than me.

Can't afford to sleep in the morning; Sleep at night!

I've been really busy recently, and it's hard to guarantee even 0/6 hours' sleep a day/kloc!

Why do you need to sleep for a long time to live? You will fall asleep after death.

What men say about inner beauty refers to inner beauty, not inner beauty.

If you have a pair of wings, you should be braised …

What's the use of being handsome? Can I swipe my card with my face at the bank?

It is said that men become bad when they have money. I have been a good person for more than 20 years!

When arguing with others, take a step back; When chasing a girlfriend, take a step back and go to an empty building.

It is said that women are like clothes and brothers are like brothers. Looking back, I actually streaked in Too Many Cooks for 20 years!

Look at a beautiful MM, but there is no way to strike up a conversation. A brick on the side of the road, picked it up and went forward. "Classmate, did you drop this?"

A real warrior dares to face the balance on the bank card and the figures on the weighing scale.

The best way to encourage yourself is to appreciate yourself, and the best way to deceive yourself is to appreciate yourself.

People always want to let ghosts and gods know when they do good things, but they always feel that ghosts and gods don't know when they do bad things. We are too embarrassed for ghosts and gods.

I have done many stupid things, but I don't care at all. Friends call it "confidence".

Eating is not a crime, and people who are fatter have the right to gain weight! Slim is actually gaunt behind, and people who love you don't care about your waistline! Taste the long-lost food! Even death is a kind of beauty!

Tell a woman who likes sports: everything makes a pot.

Cigarettes are naughty, so we smoke.

Happiness is a serious little thing.

I'm pretty, so I don't need to boast.

Eat a candy when you are sad and tell yourself that life is sweet.

Life is a lamp and work is oil. If the light is on, come on!

Change is not innovation, no direction is not progress, only breaking is not development.

Cooking paste, cooking paste, playing cards is not paste; Hypertension, hyperlipidemia and low salary!

Modern people's living conditions: attend today's class, sleep yesterday's sleep and spend tomorrow's money.

What is a white-collar worker? Today, I got paid, paid the rent, utilities, bought oil, rice, instant noodles, felt the money left in my pocket, and lamented: this month's salary is white-collar again!

People have plenty of backgrounds, and I only have my back.

Now people who can earn 200 Jin of pork a month are barely white-collar.

It is said that when you meet love around the corner, TMD, if you are not careful, you will be hit by a car when you turn the corner!

Why go when there is no way out? Just take the bus

Do you think I'll watch you die? I'll close my eyes!

Tucao is used to count money, not to reason! !

If something goes wrong, look for the reason from yourself first. Don't blame the earth for its lack of gravity when you are constipated.

If one day I become a hooligan, please remember to remind me that I was innocent.

Looking for him in the crowd, suddenly looking back, that person still despises me …

The furthest distance in the world is not the ends of the earth, but I am in telecom and you are in Netcom. ...

God gave us acne while giving us youth!

Go to today's class and sleep yesterday's sleep!

After all, I can't outrun that BMW, so I can only watch it go away in the sunset. It's not that my engine is broken, but that my chain has fallen off.

Look into my eyes and you will see persistence and sincerity except chewing gum.

The boy next door finally vowed to lose weight-at the graduation job fair, someone said to him, "Sorry, buddy, you're blocking my cell phone signal.

I thought you understood all the sad words, so I said it didn't hurt.

1, we can love a person to death, but we must never love a person to shame.

Even if all my cells have to be changed again after seven years, I still don't want to forget you.

I touch your eyes with my hand. It's too cold. If your eyes are so cold, someone's heart will freeze.

4. Is being destroyed a waste?

I want to hug you, because I like the strength, temperature and taste when I hug you. Only your own feelings, others can't give.

6. If the argument just wants to please you, you don't have to be reasonable and expect to dress like it suits you.

7. Why did you tell me after I was disheartened? Actually, I understand your weakness.

8. Be less self-righteous and more self-aware in the future.

9. Don't wait for me to change before you say you miss me.

10, sometimes, it is for love that you quietly avoid it. What you avoid is the figure, but what you can't avoid is the silent feelings. -

1 1. If you have eyes, don't know me from others.

12, you know I will miss you and won't complain, so don't worry about me.

13, a lot of heartache makes you happy in other people's arms.

14, I thought you knew everything, so I said it was neither painful nor itchy.

15, I don't remember when you flew to my window every day. As long as I reach into the sky, you will appear proudly.

16, for some people and some things, I am not myself.

17, too many people take advantage of friendship.

18, I have always seen your kindness to her.

19, thunderstorm in my sky, Wan Liyun in your sky.

20. The reason why I can vent my depressed mood here is only because you feel like kung fu in the blink of an eye *

2 1, I want to travel with you and go through every spring, summer, autumn and winter of my life.

22. There is only a pale wall behind him. Colleagues' hearts are full of the sweetness of love, but the walls are empty. I lay among them with no light in my eyes.

23. Don't hurt the person who loves you with decisive words when you are in a bad mood.

24, the sun will appear tomorrow, no matter how sad, maybe it is the dawn of hope!

25, good heartache, let you be happy in other people's arms.

26. The so-called oath is nothing but perfunctory when you are young and ignorant.

27. You have a map with only the entrance and no exit in your heart.

28. People who love each other may not get married, and married people may not be their own lovers.

29. Nothing in the world is eternal. If it flows, it flows away; If it exists, it will dry up; If it grows, it will wither slowly.

30. Sometimes, the more people you care about, the less you can find a topic to chat with. 9. I can't promise you a perfect relationship. There is no quarrel or disagreement, but I can assure you that I will never leave as long as you insist, that's all.

Because I know I can't live without you, so I will cherish it even more.

1. The first time I cried, it was because you weren't there; I laughed for the first time because I met you. Laugh and cry for the first time because I can't have you!

2. I met you unconsciously, met you inexplicably, fell in love with you with my heart, and loved you for a lifetime!

3. That promise was finally carved into the cross wound of love when saying goodbye.

Some people say that there is no secret behind true love. The person who said this knows neither love nor secrets.

You should love at first sight at least once in your life.

I will never forget the first time we met. I didn't know I would love you so much!

7. The two luckiest things in my life: one is that time has finally exhausted my love for you. One thing is that one day long ago, I met you.

8. Because I know I can't live without you, I will cherish it even more.

9. I like you. Not because I chose you, but because you chose me.

10. I will take everything you say seriously, not that I am naive, but that I am really, really serious about you!

1 1. I am the place where you wandered.

12. Loving someone is when you suddenly don't know what to say when you dial the phone. It turns out that you just want to hear the familiar voice. What you really want to dial is just a string in your heart.

13. Love is very humble, very humble, if the other person doesn't love you.

14. When a person keeps missing, he is not missing, but chewing the bitterness of sadness.

15. I only trust two people in this world, one is me and the other is not you.

16. I can hear your footsteps from the 1000 people who pass by me, because the feet of those 999 people are on the ground, and only your footsteps are on my heart.

17. Love is like multiplication, one of which is zero and the result is always zero.

18. When you hear someone say: I can't forget you! In fact, he is saying: I don't want to forget you! If he doesn't care about you, turn around and forget you.

19. One day, your hand will hold another person's hand, and it is no longer you standing beside me.

20. If love is a flower, then you are the only seed.