Three letters from son-in-law to parents-in-law.

Two people should learn to face problems together, and parents should also learn to speak kindly to everyone when they have problems. The following is a letter I wrote to my parents-in-law to share with you. Welcome to read and study.

Letter from son-in-law to parents-in-law 1

In order to avoid family quarrels in the future, I want to talk to you and plan our future life. Everyone has their own ideas. I think the quarrel comes from the lack of communication, I don't know what the other party is thinking, I can only guess and hate each other. This result should not be what we want.

First of all, about us two men.

Dad, do you remember how your family was established? You are a bachelor, married XX's mother, and then have your own home. Later, with XX, this home was perfect. Although you were obsessed with not having a son for a short time, the happiness of your family soon made you abandon those unhappiness. No matter how hard and tired you are outside, it is so sweet for your wife and children to come home. This home belongs to you. You and XX's mother discuss the internal and external affairs related to this family and plan your bright future together. Friends and relatives on both sides should take care of you. You have made outstanding contributions to your father-in-law's family, which makes me sincerely admire you. Today, I walked the same way as you. I am a bachelor dragging a box here, a stranger and without friends. Thanks to your kindness, you married XX to me, and I have my own home. Now I have two children. Like you, I am also planning our bright future with my wife. I remember that when we were getting married, you were sitting in the living room of Zhongtan's old house and told me that I was an only child and I had to rely on her in the future. I replied: Don't worry, I will regard you as my parents. Today, I still keep my promise. XX and I will be responsible for your life and death. It is my bounden duty to provide for you two old people.

Both of us men have our own homes now. However, I have to say that these are two different families, no one belongs to anyone, and each has its own close relatives and friends. For you, the relatives on both sides of you and your mother are important relatives in your family. For me, my relatives on both sides of XX are relatives of my family. How to associate with these people? You and your mother discuss your home, and XX and I discuss my home. As for how to communicate with these relatives, we should strengthen communication but not interfere with each other.

Second, about the relationship between our two families.

Mom, you told me twice that your family didn't want a son-in-law: the first time, before going to see the house where the ceremony was held, I had lunch with two old people in the kitchen of Zhongtan house. You sit on my left and dad sits on my right. You told me that we didn't have a son-in-law, and you asked me if I understood what you meant. I didn't understand at the time, but I nodded. Later, I asked the old people what it meant to recruit a son-in-law. They all told me that the son-in-law who comes to the door should give a family a top position, not only the children should take their surnames, but also the family's internal affairs and diplomacy. In short, you have the rights and obligations that your son enjoys. After hearing this, I understood the meaning of the son-in-law. Since you don't hire a son-in-law, I don't have the same rights and obligations as a son. So, once you mentioned that XX and I seldom go to your house, I asked you, if I had been at your house, I wouldn't be a door-to-door son-in-law. Your answer is simple: you want to come, we want you? In this way, I confirmed the relationship between our two families in my mind. I married your daughter. I'm your son-in-law I should do what my son-in-law should do. You are not allowed to do what my son-in-law should do. I want to mind your family's business, but you don't listen to me.

On the one hand, you don't want a son-in-law, on the other hand, you have to point to this child in the future. These two sentences come from your home. I don't think these two sentences are contradictory, so the relationship between our two families should be because you only have one child, so I am responsible for you. Because you don't recruit a son-in-law, I am only responsible for you two old people. As for the communication with your relatives, my family appears as an independent family and is not attached to your family. Neither of us can represent anyone, for example, you go, you go yours, and I go mine. What should we do? I'll discuss it with XX. You can give us advice, but you can't make decisions for us. Of course, we can only advise your family what to do, not make decisions for you.

I don't think I have the right to decide about XX going back to her parents' home. This is about XX. I can take care of XX going to other places, but I can't take care of your home. I can only decide about myself and my children. But from the point of view that your family doesn't recruit a son-in-law and my family marries a daughter-in-law, I have to let her take care of the children first and the in-laws first. Having done this, I will support her when she goes to her parents' home and stays there for as long as possible.

Third, about my home.

Except for my parents, everything is up to me and XX. In the interaction between two relatives and friends, we should take care of them, and we should not favor one over the other. Then I'll talk about how my family interacts with relatives and friends on both sides. Let me talk about my side first: we have been married for so many years, and some relatives and friends at home are sick, some are married and have children, and some are dead. When it comes to this kind of family affairs and foreign affairs, everyone decides through discussion. My sister had an operation, my parents accompanied me, my cousin got married, my parents went, my grandmother died, and my parents and I went back to our hometown. Distance is not a problem. It was convenient to go back to my hometown that day, but I didn't ask XX to attend anything, and I never quarreled because XX didn't attend. Let's talk about XX again. I went to live for a few days before I got married. Even in the hospital, I helped carry the coffin. I also attended the aunt's funeral. After getting married, your friends in the village have attended the wedding, and most of your relatives have also attended the wedding, such as the wedding of Daqi and Wenzhong, the wedding of my third grandfather's daughter, the wedding by the loess side and so on. , add up to 10 many times, I participated with XX * *. I also attended the last party at cousin XX's house. Comparing the contacts between relatives and friends of both sides, the result is clear at a glance. I don't understand why we are still arguing about things we don't want to attend. I'm not as good-tempered as my father. When I get angry, I can't care about respecting the old and caring for the young. This is my fault, and I sincerely bow to my mother and apologize.

Finally, let me sum up what I said earlier. To sum up, there are three main points:

1, we are two families, and neither belongs to the other, so we need to keep a certain distance. Walking too close is easy to cause problems, because no one can be the master of anyone. Every family should consider and decide their own affairs and not interfere in each other's internal affairs and diplomacy. I won't give you a top family. My family appeared in front of your relatives as an independent family. Your family visits their home, and their home goes back to your home. My family went to visit their old people, and their family also sent people to visit my old people. Give it to my family alone, and my family will return the favor alone.

2, we are relatives, blood is thicker than water, we should strengthen communication, take care of each other and jointly create a harmonious environment.

My relatives on both sides are treated equally, and XX and I discuss how to associate with them.

Letter from son-in-law to parents-in-law 2

In-laws:

Hello!

This is the first and last time to call you that on paper. When I made this decision, it was a long-standing thing, and of course it was a helpless choice, because I didn't want to suffer like this for a long time, and of course I could be responsible for my choice. Now, I must tell my parents the truth. Here's the thing:

We met at the wine table. Maybe that's when the doomed love began. In order to get the person she wants, she can get up early and trick her parents into going from black to Liaoning. As long as 18 hours, I can be cold. In short, I can endure so many hardships. Thinking of this, not only her eyes are moist, but a girl can pay so much for the person she loves. I was really glad that I didn't have any capital, so I decided to associate with her, and in my first letter to my parents, I lied. She was chasing me, but I turned against her.

As the old saying goes, it is easier to fight the country than to defend it. When I really started to associate with it, I found that my choice was wrong. I learned to lie for her, because I can't lie. It's only been more than a year (two years in September) since we got married, and we spent at least one year and three months in a depressed school. I chose her out of sympathy, because I knew she had been away from her parents since she was a child. The most puzzling thing is why she worked so hard at the beginning and once she got it, she didn't cherish it. Of course, it is safe to say that she doesn't care about my money at all, let alone my appearance. Maybe she really has a good eye, and I will make a lot of money for her. Since we met, her classes have been very limited: she worked in Jinding for a while (in a nightclub, I picked her up every day, even until midnight). I earned hundreds of dollars in Amway, and I have been doing Amway for almost five months. She knows the effect best. I know she may really succeed in the future, but since I made such a choice, I won't regret it.

I believe she doesn't love me because she can't even tell me the most basic birthday. Even now, it is the fifth day of the third lunar month. You can ask her if you don't believe me. Her birthdays are: April in the lunar calendar 14, and May 27th in the solar calendar. I won't forget them. What's the use of remembering them? This will only add to your trouble.

Today's thing is this: When she went back at night, she was very happy, but when she got to the new department in Zi Han (husband and wife do it, men and women are very good), she was a little unhappy. I coaxed her, but it was useless. Later, she said that she would sleep on the floor. Stop her. Don't let go. Later, I told her to turn off the light on the ground and come back after turning off the light. I promise I'll be good. I sat in the chair again. I lay in bed, overworked and fell asleep during the day, and she was unhappy again. She wants to go to Dalian and call home again, so she has to continue to persuade, but she still won't listen. She picked up the bed and put it down again, and this was repeated for more than ten minutes. Hellip& amphellip later practiced the old routine: twisting people, hitting people, and so on&; It seems that hellip& amphellip can't sleep well again tonight, no, I can't (this kind of drama is about three days, and it will be staged once every five days at most &; hellip& amphellip)。

I'm human, and I have to work during the day. I have one day off every week before July 15, and the rest will definitely be staged on any day. In order to avoid this, I lied that the company was busy, so I was not tired. Don't I want to have a rest? I'm a human being, too, but by contrast, I prefer to go to work, because I have been adopting the strategy of "forbearance" until July. Maybe it's my fault again. Before she officially got the marriage certificate, she said that she wanted to break up more than once, and after she got married, she said that she wanted to divorce more than once & hellip& amphellip I don't know if such a life is worth living. Whether I am happy or not, I will live for a day. Long pain is better than short pain. Since she wants to be separated so much, what right do I have to deprive her of this right?

It's already 1: 35 in the morning, and now I'm in the office. I am quiet and not sleepy at all. Thank god, I'm finally free. Finally, I hope she can find someone who can beat her, scold her, be at her mercy, prevent her from doing housework and make money for her.

August 2004

From the younger generation

Letter from son-in-law to parents-in-law 3

Hello, parents.

I sent you a letter yesterday, saying in English that the ban would affect the whole process of green card application. My brother told me the same thing today. Now I don't think it is possible to be with Peng Yi in the near future, and Peng Yi certainly doesn't want to. But when she went to lift the ban, she and I still lived separately and didn't touch each other. Why not? When the time is right, I think we can make up, otherwise it will be difficult to separate again. Why not? Will this definitely affect my green card application? Does it have to affect children's future? Did she deliberately prevent me from getting a green card? It's not how much I value this green card, but that if I am rejected, I will leave my children and Peng Yi, and I may never see them again, because I have no job and I want to go back to China, which means that my children and I are thousands of miles away. I can't stand this situation at all. Nothing can be done now. Starting a company and talking about cooperation with friends are closely related to the green card. I really hope Peng Yi will think about it. Both of them should think it over carefully. After all, it will affect Peng Yi and the children. I don't want to see Peng Yi suffer any pain at all, and I don't want to affect the children's future and growth. I am sincere to Buddha now, and I hope she can look back once.

To tell the truth, up to now, my heart is hanging on their mother and son, every moment. If she says I can't change my nature in the future, it's wrong. Two people have been together for so long, don't they know each other? I thought about it for more than a month and found most of the crux. Compared with the previous good relationship between the two, there are no other principled issues. In fact, it is mainly caused by trivial housework, which is too bad. Part of the problem is personality, but the fundamental problem is not personality. Why did they get along well before, but then they didn't. Why sometimes it's good and sometimes it's not.

First of all, to tell the truth, my relationship with my personality is on the one hand. The important thing is that the two sides did not communicate well and did not tolerate each other at ordinary times. These have nothing to do with personality. Apart from what I told you last time, I think it is important for two people to seek happiness in life, not bondage. As long as I improve this aspect and don't need her to change, I think my life will be happier. I won't spend too much time at home after work, and I won't worry because I feel that time is wasted at home. I'm not worried, many things will be solved. Generally speaking, if only Peng Yi was angry, if I didn't have any trouble, the two of them wouldn't quarrel at all.

Secondly, at home and outside, two people should have a little division of labor, otherwise one person is too busy and will definitely have a temper. If the division of labor is reasonable and we share a little more, how can those housework affect the relationship? As I said before, I don't care about the family finances in the future. I try my best to do my work well, do more physical work at home and take my children to play. Peng Yi can do what she wants or can do. Usually don't want to cook, just order or eat out. Is this not good? Nobody needs to change my personality. Of course, I will try my best to control my emotions. I will never have any bad feelings at home again. I will bring happiness to my family and make my family happy.

Third, the two sides are more tolerant and care about each other at home, so that two people will respect each other, so it is impossible to get angry with each other. This has nothing to do with personality. Of course, personality differences will also affect these, but in fact, it is impossible for both sides to think more about each other.

Fourth, I will take care of her as before going abroad and take care of her as at home. Only in this way can the feelings of two people be improved and they will be more considerate and tolerant of each other.

Mom and Dad, please believe me. I won't use any promises or vows this time. There should be no promises and vows between husband and wife. I will change everything with my actions and do it bit by bit. I will use my life to care about this family and take good care of Peng Yi and the children.

Peng Yi and the children are ill, and my heart is so twisted that I can't sleep at night. I wish I could be with Peng Yi at any time, but now I can't. I learned a great lesson this time. I will spend the rest of my life making up for my previous mistakes. I just hope Peng Yi and the children are happy. I am willing to do anything.

This time, there is a ban. If I have any inappropriate language or behavior in the future, Peng Yi can restart the ban, and she can apply for resuming the ban at any time. Of course, it depends on whether she still wants this home, the future of the child and me to take care of it. We can't control Peng Yi's thoughts. She holds all the initiative, and I don't want to make any excuses. I just hope this family can live warm and well.

In addition, I bought some books on Buddhism when I returned to China this time. I began to learn some Buddhist scriptures and wanted to improve my thoughts and temperament. I want to be more compassionate and tolerant, love everything in the world and do everything beneficial to others, including Peng Yi and children. I want to completely change myself, just ask Peng Yi to understand and turn around once.

I wrote down all my thoughts these days and made a blog. You can go up and tell Peng Yi what I think, or let her read my thoughts. I can't live in this world without her and her children, and even the Buddha can't eliminate my deep love. I am willing to do anything for their mother and son to correct the past and build a better future.

Please take care of yourself,

Ersmin

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