Education Essay: How to deal with children who lie

Education Essay: How to deal with children who lie. Why do children lie? Lying, as the name suggests, means telling lies deliberately. In fact, lying is the adult's definition of lying. Children have no concept of lying and often just do it to protect themselves.

If a child before the age of six has the ability to lie, his thinking ability is stronger than that of a child who cannot lie.

Why do you say that? In fact, for adults, lying is not an easy thing. Since it is a lie, then the child must have the ability to make up stories, and if the lie is to be believed by adults, it must be reasonable and logical. This again tests the child's expression ability and logical thinking.

Therefore, to learn to lie, you must have the ability to think imaginatively, expressively, reasonably, and logically. Of course, this is not to encourage children to lie, but to tell parents that when you find that children have learned to lie, don’t be angry or scold them. This is also a sign of children’s intelligence. What we parents need to do is to slowly transfer these abilities of our children to other places and get rid of the small problem of lying.

Now maybe you are not particularly angry about your child lying, and start to slowly think about why my child lies? We obviously teach him to be upright, kind, and brave, so why can't he tell the truth?

There are many cases of children lying in order to avoid being beaten. Some parents either beat or scold their children who do wrong things. Over time, children will naturally feel that they must not be discovered by their parents when they do wrong things, otherwise they will be beaten again. , they can only make up lies to escape the blame of their parents.

Of course, a small number of children lie to protect their parents and hope that their parents will be happy. Sometimes parents place too many expectations on their children. Although they will not scold their children if they do something wrong, the parents themselves will be very sad and depressed all day long. When the children see it in their eyes, they will slowly understand that my mother has such high demands on me and I cannot let her down. Once you do something wrong, his first reaction is that his mother will definitely feel bad, so he should not let her know. Thus, a new lie was born. How can we prevent children from lying?

Every parent hopes that his or her child will become an upright, selfless, and aboveboard person, and naturally they will not allow their children to lie. At this time, parents need to learn two methods:

1. Reduce the incentives for children to lie. This is a problem of parent behavior. How to educate children? When a child makes a mistake, the parent's attitude and reaction directly affect whether the child will choose to lie the next time he makes a mistake. As mentioned above, it is not advisable to always beat, scold and blame children, or for parents to express their discomfort on their faces all day long.

2. Educate children not to reason but to tell stories. There is a classic line in Han Han's "We Will Never See You Again": We have heard countless truths, but we still can't live this life well. This is true for adults, and even more so for children. Children understand some truths, but they are impatient when adults talk to them so much. Some truths are profound, difficult and obscure for children, and they are forgotten after they are said. Therefore, it is important to explain things in a comprehensive way, increase children's interest through storytelling, and slowly guide children.

For example, children can tell them stories about the boy who cried wolf and Pinocchio, and parents of older children can tell their children historical allusions~ (the above content comes from West Point_Military Training) Education Notes: How to deal with children who lie

Lying refers to children telling lies intentionally or unintentionally. Generally speaking, young children are innocent and honest, but in real life, children sometimes lie. However, it must be emphasized that the reasons why children lie are different, and parents and teachers should analyze specific problems in detail.

1. Reasons

(1) Children's own reasons

■One reason for lying behavior is due to the psychological development characteristics of young children. The characteristic of the development of imagination in early childhood is that unintentional imagination dominates, and intentional imagination has just begun to develop. Therefore, they easily confuse reality with imagination and regard imaginary things as reality. For example, 4-year-old Lele was very envious when she saw her sister playing in the amusement park in the photo, and the next day she would tell her teacher that she went to the amusement park. Young children also have poor memory accuracy and tend to distort facts when recalling.

For example, Qiangqiang heard the teacher ask Junjun to show everyone the finished car model, and at the same time told everyone not to forget to bring cans. As a result, when Qiangqiang came home, he asked his mother to buy him a car model, saying that it was the teacher who told him. In all of the above situations, children are not lying intentionally. Lying is a sign of their immature psychological development.

■Another reason is that young children lie consciously in order to achieve a certain purpose or desire. For example, in order to obtain some kind of reward, win the praise of teachers or parents, escape punishment, etc. This is a problem behavior, which reflects the child's moral problems and needs to be corrected in time.

(2) Parents’ reasons

■Not paying attention to their own words and deeds. Young children have a strong ability to imitate. If their parents lie often, the children will learn to lie as time goes by. It is also important for parents to be careful in their speech and self-cultivation, at least in front of their children. For example, if the mother doesn’t want to go to the child’s grandma’s house, she asks the child to tell the grandma, “Mom is sick.” Or, if you promised your child something but failed to do it, the child felt that he was deceived, and he would learn to deceive others afterwards.

■Inappropriate education methods. Some parents always treat their children's mistakes in a rough way. No matter what the reason is, they will severely reprimand or even beat them, which makes the children fearful and then lie in order to avoid being scolded.

2. Countermeasures

Pay full attention to children's intentional lying behavior. If they are not corrected in time, lying will become a habit in the future and will be difficult to correct. First, parents should set an example. In daily life, pay attention to your words and deeds, and do not indirectly teach your children to lie. Secondly, mistakes made by children cannot be treated simply and roughly.

When encountering problems, analyze the specific problems in detail, focus on positive education, and let them know the negative consequences of lying tomorrow. Do not let children lie because they want to avoid punishment. Finally, some methods can be adopted in real life to help children change their lying behavior. For example, tell some targeted stories to children and let them express their own opinions to help them realize that lying is an incorrect behavior. In normal times, you can use examples from life to reason with your children. If you find that your child behaves honestly, praise and encourage him in time to strengthen his honest behavior. How to deal with the problem of lying by 15-year-old children

Strictness is love, while leniency is harm. We must be responsible for our children and teach them the correct outlook on life and values. We must not tolerate it, otherwise it will be harmful to their future. Character development is definitely not a good thing! But pay attention to the methods and means and don't go too far.

When something happens, you have to correct his thoughts from the source so that he will not choose to lie next time the same thing happens. How to deal with children who lie in adolescence

Let her know clearly that you know her He is lying without making it clear and letting him know it is better than anything else. Educational essay: How to deal with children complaining

Let’s analyze the reasons behind the behavior of children complaining?

Is it because the child feels unfair, but he does not have the strength to solve it himself, so he hopes to seek the strength of adults to help him solve this problem.

Or in another situation, the child complained about this behavior and was encouraged by the adults, so he will feel that this is a good behavior, and he will get psychological satisfaction from this behavior. Then it will continue to do this behavior.

When a child complains, you should analyze it rationally, rather than using this behavior to judge whether the child is good or bad.

Only when we clearly see the psychological needs behind the behavior can we solve this problem. If the child is not strong enough, then focus on cultivating the child's inner strength to solve this problem. If a child gets a kind of psychological satisfaction from being noticed and affirmed, then this is a behavior that needs to be adjusted by adults.

So, how to deal with complaints from children? Specific events need to be analyzed in detail. How to educate children who lie?

The real reason why children lie is confusion between imagination and reality. This mostly happens to children under 6 years old. They often confuse imagination and reality. It is obviously their own wish, but they say it like Really the same. Preschoolers cannot distinguish between imagination and reality and often mistake imaginary things for real things.

In the process of developing their rich imagination and expressive power, they often improvise and apply the stories they hear and the things they see to real people or things through their own imaginative processing, resulting in illogical and illogical Untruthful "lying". But their lies have no clear purpose and are fantasy lies. Expert advice: For this type of lies, parents should satisfy their children's desire for imaginative expression. Encourage your children to make up some stories of their own, or play pretend games with them frequently. For example: you can use some toys at home as props, you can continue some fairy tales, etc., so that children's imagination and creativity can be fully released, and their language expression ability can be exercised. You should not criticize and accuse blindly. This will damage the child's sense of creativity and imagination, or let the child's performance go unchecked, causing the child to habitually regard imaginary things as real things, causing the child to lack a sense of rationality and bury the burden of growth. Hidden danger. In short, fantasy lies often have no purpose and are sometimes very impromptu and casual. We should pay attention to inspiration and guidance for such children. Because they want their elders or to escape punishment, when children do things they not only want to do well, but to a large extent they also want to make their parents and teachers happy so that they can get more rewards. When it is difficult to succeed, in order not to disappoint parents and teachers, they have no choice but to "lie": "The test results have not come out yet", "I did okay in the test", etc. Also, children are curious about everything around them, especially the things they just bought at home. They have to pick them up with their hands and look carefully. They often break things by accident. At this time, the children feel nervous and nervous. Fear, fear of being scolded and scolded by parents, leads to unknowingly starting to lie. After some children do something wrong, they will feel a kind of oppression in their hearts, and the fear of being punished will induce them to lie. In fact, children are not born with the ability to lie. They are innocent and straightforward in nature. They will not hide their intentions, hide their emotions, or control their explorations. They are honest people. But when he found that his honesty caused dissatisfaction or even punishment from his parents, he began to learn to pretend and lie. Although parents often rationally emphasize the importance of honesty, when it comes to a specific matter, emotions will overcome reason, and dissatisfaction, anger, and blame will appear, and parents will show that they care more about the matter itself than the honesty of their children. . Expert advice: For this type of lying, smart parents should not blame or punish their children regardless of the reason. They should know how to communicate with their children and tell them that parents like honest children, although parents do not want him to do wrong things. , but his parents don’t want him to lie even more. Then, give the child a chance to admit mistakes: understand the motivation for the child to make mistakes, tolerate the consequences of the child's mistakes, give the child a chance to correct, and encourage the child to take the initiative to admit mistakes and correct them. For this type of lie, parents should not argue in front of the child due to inconsistent educational attitudes, and one party will cover up the child's mistakes, which will give the child an opportunity and cause the child to continue to lie. In short, for children who are afraid of punishment for lying, parents should adjust their attitudes and ways of handling things, give their children a chance to correct themselves, and avoid losing their children's trust in them. Behavioral lying Some children are accustomed to keeping all toys and food to themselves. In addition, some parents do not pay attention to educating their children that "things that are not their own cannot be taken home", which leads to children sometimes secretly putting their favorite toys from kindergarten or children into their pockets. When parents find that their children have something that does not belong to them, the children often make up some lies, such as that it was given by a child or that it was picked up by themselves. This type of lying is behavioral, and its performance is more serious. It is often accompanied by bad behaviors such as stealing and destruction, and is very harmful to the child's own growth. This type of children is different from the previous two types of children. Their lying has an obvious purpose and is well thought out in advance. In their view, lying will bring them certain benefits or satisfaction. This type of lying is very harmful to the growth of children. For this type of lie, if the child is not discovered after lying, or if the child is discovered but the parents do not take corresponding measures to correct it, or after being exposed by others, the parents will protect the child out of concern for face, etc., it will encourage the child to lie. Awareness of lying. Smart parents should not let their children's "plots" succeed and let them know that there will be very serious consequences if they lie. Some parents believe that their children lie because they have not grown up and do not know what is good or bad. If they let their children do whatever they want, they will develop the habit of lying and affect the healthy development of their self-awareness and personality.

How to deal with children lying

To deal with children lying, you must first understand the reasons why children lie, and then you can prescribe the right medicine.

There are several reasons why children lie:

1. As the saying goes, parents are their children’s first teachers. Young children are very imitative, and parents' dishonest behavior will not only have a subtle impact on their children, but will also sow the seeds of selfishness and self-interest at the expense of others in their hearts.

2. Lying in order to achieve a certain wish. The child thinks that the normal way is impossible for the parents to agree, so he tells a lie to emphasize the rationality of the matter. For example: If a child wants money to buy toys, he lies about the school organizing activities.

3. Lying is to avoid certain things. For example, if a child does not want to go to school, he will say "I have a stomachache."

4. Because of fear of reprimand, beating and scolding. Some parents scold or hit their children every time they do something wrong. Children are afraid of being scolded and beaten, so they lie to cover up their mistakes. This cover-up is forgiven by their parents or teachers, so when they do something wrong the second or third time, they lie again to seek forgiveness.

So how to deal with children who lie?

1. Parents themselves should set a good example and try to avoid unnecessary lies and excuses.

2. Mutual trust and understanding between parents and children are prerequisites for children to be honest. Let your child know that even if he lies, you still love him and you understand his feelings.

3. Once your child lies, discuss with your child what better ways to replace lying next time you encounter a similar situation.

4. Do not threaten your children with severe punishment. This method will often make your children tell more lies and become more cunning so as not to be discovered by you.

5. If you find that your child has lied, do not immediately accuse or teach him in front of others. It is best to find another suitable time to talk to the child alone.

6. In most cases, children lie because they are afraid of being punished, so let the child tell as much as possible why they are afraid that their parents will know, so that you can know the reason why the child lies.

7. Pay more attention to the lives of your children, and make realistic demands on your children. If your children do something wrong, you should investigate and study it to encourage them to develop positive behaviors.

8. If your child has the courage to admit that he has done something wrong, please immediately praise him in special words.

9. If the child still lies repeatedly, it is best for parents to understand the reasons why the child lies, analyze it carefully, and consult a child psychologist if necessary.