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What should parents do in the face of lying children?

An "agent parent" once said with distress that the little boy he "represented" was only in the fifth grade of primary school. The child is so smart that he is very cute. But he didn't admit what he had done wrong, and he learned to lie. What if the child lies?

First of all, we need to find out what lying means. Lying is a verbal manifestation of deception and deception. This kind of cheating and cheating is the most unacceptable. Generally speaking, it is directly or indirectly harmful to the country and the nation. In a word, it is enough to bankrupt a person's personality. I lied. First, I lost my self-esteem. One can't live without self-esteem. If he loses his self-esteem and doesn't value himself, he will give up on himself and do anything. The second is to lose credit and get no sympathy and help from others. Once upon a time, there was a story about the shepherd and the wolf. It is said that the shepherd lied for the first time, and when he shouted "Wolf is coming" on the mountain, others heard him and rushed to chase the wolf for him, but he was complacent and thought he had fooled others once. I didn't know that such a lie had sown the seeds of dishonesty. The real wolf is coming. When he panicked and shouted "Wolf is coming", people thought he was lying again and didn't come to save him. Finally, the wolf killed him. As Lincoln said: "You can deceive a few people, but you can't deceive most people;" You can lie for a while, but you can't lie for a lifetime. "What a pertinent sentence this is! Children are naive and simple when they are young. But why do many children gradually learn to lie?

Lying is by no means accidental, but it must be a habit of lying, and most of this habit of lying has been cultivated since childhood. Therefore, in order to prevent children from lying at an early age, we must first understand the reasons why children lie. Why do children lie?

(1) Children are afraid of parents or parents' punishment: Some parents will scold or beat their children when they do something wrong and punish them. The child was afraid of scolding and beating, so he lied to cover up his mistakes and was forgiven by his parents. So when he did something wrong for the second time and the third time, he lied and asked for forgiveness.

(2) Escape from reality: Sometimes children are unwilling or unable to do something, which is called headache and stomachache, and deceive their parents with various lies; This kind of lie will often get the sympathy of parents, so I will often lie to shirk it in the future.

(3) Good reputation, pride: A good thing is not done by a child, but it is said that he did it, won a reward, and his face is glorious, so he lied; He had done something, but he didn't do it well. For fear of losing face, he said he didn't do it and lied.

(4) Greedy: Many children lie when they want to eat for gossip; Some children cheat in their studies and exams in order to get high marks or prizes, and insist that their skills are superior. This is for greed.

What should parents do if they find out why their children lie? How to correct him and cultivate his honest habit?

First of all, we must understand the children: parents must know what their children are willing to do, what they can do and what they hope to get. Understand the child's psychology and ability, and then let him do it. In the process of doing it, parents should help him find problems, overcome difficulties and make things successful. Give encouragement when you succeed. We should eliminate his motivation to lie and encourage him to do things honestly.

Second, appropriate hints: There are two kinds of hints. One is a positive hint. For example, there are two children together, one is honest and the other likes to lie. We should praise and reward honest children, so that lying children will be moved and embark on the road of honesty. The other is counter-suggestion. For example, if a child comes to report something to you, you should trust him and don't say "Really, don't lie to me". When you say that, you are planting a seed of lying in the child's heart, thinking that lying can be deceived and believed. Be sure to use positive hints to impress children, and don't use negative hints to motivate children to lie.

Third, set an example: parents should set an example, do honest things, and don't lie in front of their children. You know, children are the most imitative, and they will follow suit. Sometimes parents can tell him stories about honest children. For example, when Washington was a child, he cut down a cherry tree. One day, Washington cut down a cherry tree in the garden. His father was very angry when he learned about it. Washington quickly admitted that he cut it. Instead of blaming him, his father praised him and encouraged him to be honest everywhere like this. In the future, Washington did everything honestly and never lied, and finally achieved great things. Tell such stories to children and take the characters in the stories as his role models.

Usually, we should set a good example and never set a bad one. For example, a mother wants to play cards instead of entertaining guests. She told her children, "If there are guests, you can say that mom is not at home." When the guest came, the child lied according to his mother's words: "Mom is not at home." This is a bad example, and it is easy for children to form the habit of lying. Since he can cheat guests according to his mother's words, he can naturally cheat others according to his own meaning, even his mother.

Therefore, parents of children should pay attention to the above three points at any time and place to ensure that children do not lie and establish honest habits.