I am the woman you will never get, tell me

Gradually I understand that caring too much about someone will often hurt myself; Gradually I understand that a lot of love can be encountered but cannot be sought; Gradually I understand that many things can only be owned once, and it will be easy to let go It means loss; gradually it means understanding that sincerity to a person does not require repayment. I don’t want an apple on Christmas Eve, I just want a hug from you. If I don't like you now, will you be a little sad? After all, I almost liked you so much that I went crazy. I just want to be a child, don't want to see too many things, hear too many bad things, and just stay pure for the rest of my life. Starting today, I have to take good care of myself. I have to eat well and not eat junk food. I have to get used to drinking hot water. I have to remember to bring stomach medicine with me. I have to be friendly to everyone. I have to learn to read other people’s eyes and speak and do things. , I want to care more about the people around me, I want to be calm and smile when nothing is wrong, I want to be less careless and careless, I want to fight for my future, I want to be good enough to deserve Fuck the one I love.