Select funny narcissistic stories, talk about narcissistic jokes and recommend 89 sentences.

1, I want to raise a bunch of minions to help me do winter vacation homework.

2. I am in the late stage of narcissistic cancer, and there is no cure.

What's your annual salary? B: Ten thousand. There were ten thousand dollars that month. Yes, this is the basic salary. A: Not bad. What do you do? B: Dreaming.

It is my fault that it is enough to make girls happy.

5, narcissism is to be a man in the next life and marry a wife who wants me!

6, the girl is jealous, which proves that she is really hurt, and the boy is jealous, which proves that he is really angry.

7. A person's longest love history is probably narcissism.

8. I hope you can grab my collar and be domineering, even arrogant, and tell me that those snacks are all for me.

9. When you smile, the wolf will hang himself. When you scream, the chicken flies and the dog jumps. When you stop, that smell permeates your whole body. Lice is a disaster when you sweat. You are uglier than a ghost without dressing up.

10, my deskmate got three points in chemistry. The teacher said, "What can you do with three points?" The deskmate calmly replied, "Teacher, three points can rob the landlord ~ ~"

1 1. From now on, I will regard my daily struggle as a powerful attack on the towering trees.

12, the longest love I have ever talked about is narcissism. I love myself and have no rival in love.

13, love into your own space, not narcissism, just want to see what's new with you.

14, unrequited love is a courtesy, narcissism is a pride, love is a style, and not love is a taste.

15, narcissistic people are cute. Because of narcissism, they know more about love.

16. It's too cold. I just went to withdraw money and saw that the bank card was frozen.

17, some narcissistic teachers, obviously occupying our favorite classes, also said: Do you think I really want to give you classes?

18, I will not be brave, I am not strong, and I can't smile when I am most sad.

19, the light rail said not to carry inflammable and explosive articles. Someone got off the bus decisively because he was ugly.

From now on, I want to know that everyone in life is going through a similar test. If I persevere, keep trying and go forward, I will succeed.

2 1, the advantage of flat chest is that two people embrace heart to heart closer.

22. The speed of replying to me represents the degree of your concern for me. Anyway, I think so.

23. I am neither good nor bad. I'm not particularly outstanding. I just dare to be different.

No matter who I talk to or get along with, I can't beat your position in my heart.

25. When I was at school, who knew you idiots and narcissists were so important to me?

I hope the next time I mention her to you, you will yell at me that I love you.

27. The sun is not the sun this winter. It's obviously the light in the refrigerator.

28. You can't rely on others in the future. I also need others to rely on me. I won't envy others, because I know I will make you envy. I'm not narcissistic, but confident.

29. Don't overestimate yourself. Without you, the world is still beautiful and I am still gorgeous.

30. Loving you is not a game, shedding tears is not acting, and instant happiness is not good.

3 1, dear yourself, be confident and even narcissistic, and always remind yourself that I deserve the best.

32. A slow-moving woman born in the north is withdrawn. She loved Eason Chan's friends all her life, not for her ancestors to take me home before dark.

33. Don't expect to meet the right person. I just want to meet some people.

34, narcissism plus brain damage, that is self-mutilation! Naked marriage and elopement, that is streaking!

35. When a man is drunk, he will miss many women. When a woman is drunk, she will only miss one man, that is, the one who left her. But women can't understand that leaving her doesn't necessarily mean not loving her.

36. I want to be a female hooligan in thought, a good girl in life, a tender girl in appearance and a psychological remoulder.

Please God give me a brain that can understand math and physics. I am willing to exchange the beauty of my deskmate.

38, the school approached step by step, and my sense of suffocation gradually got out of control.

39, walking on the road of confusion. Watching time go by, but I can't see the sun.

40. His space problem is my favorite person. I typed my name narcissistically, but I got the wrong answer.

4 1, I used to be scolded by my teammates every day when I played the king. Slowly, my fighting ability has improved, and now I don't scold me because they have already scolded me.

42. The longest love I have ever talked about is narcissism. I love myself and have no rival in love. Anthony

43, watch the fans die behind, turn around and scare away millions of heroes.

I warn you, don't laugh at me when I am angry. You laugh and I laugh with you, which makes me lose face.

What do you like about me? I can change it.

46. It is said that ugly people should read more books. No wonder my mother said that I was not cut out to study when I was a child.

47. God gave me a broad face just to enlarge my beauty.

48. I hope you can learn to take part in accidental amusement as soon as possible. I hope you can get used to different things. After all, not everyone is as naive and emotional as you are.

49. I always feel that a bed that is made too neatly will mean a little peace in my old age. Well, it's still messy, more energetic ~ ~

50, girl, don't worry about everyone, you know some people, heart to heart in front, thinking behind.

5 1. One hundred years ago, you leveled the Tiangong alone, and now1400 million people leveled CCTV for you.

52. I especially admire those real men who are indifferent to other girls but are obsessed with their daughter-in-law.

Because I like you, I can't pretend to be like-minded friends with you.

54. It is said that girls have only four wishes: nothing for nothing, no knowledge and no ability, no harm in love and no fat.

Dear yourself, today is your birthday. Happy birthday. Self-confidence and even narcissism, always remind yourself that I deserve the best.

56, a person's life and death is not destiny takes a hand, a person's wealth depends on the amount of money.

57. I have been infatuated with you for a long time, and I am a little narcissistic.

Please go to KTV! Do you know what KTV is? It's k, you have a meal, then you kick, and finally you make a V gesture.

59. If one day, I'm not so simple, please remember that it's not that I'm bad, but that I'm hurt by bad people.

60. Secret love is a courtesy, narcissism is a pride, love is a style, and not love is a taste.

6 1, M: I like a girl. Woman: She must be beautiful. Man: You are too narcissistic.

62. Never quarrel with your parents, because if you win, you will only be scolded, and if you win, you will only be beaten.

63. One game, one rule. Can afford to play, continue; Can't afford to play, out.

64, learn to be a tough bitch, not artificial, hairless, not cowardly, how to live proudly.

65. My progress made him sit up and take notice. Since then, he has been blind.

When you are happy, you listen to music. When you are sad, you begin to understand the lyrics.

67. Good night is just a hard night.

Silence is not my intention, I just don't want to make myself too uncomfortable.

69. If the truth is a kind of harm, please choose lies. If a lie is a kind of harm, please choose silence. If silence is a kind of injury, please choose to leave.

As long as you find me, I'll talk to you. It's that simple.

7 1, "Wife, you are the cutest person I have ever met" and "Whoops, I just like you who have never seen the world"

72. I wander between unrestrained self-appreciation and narcissism.

73. The longest love I have ever talked about is narcissism.

74. If you are sad, try to look up at the sky. Read it and forget it. It is so big that it can certainly accommodate all your grievances.

75, life and death, Pleasant Goat, Big Big Wolf. Shunk beta, blue cat's words are very sad. Even if we meet, we shouldn't know, saint, the Monkey King. Skyhawk soldiers suddenly went home.

Mosquito, born for my blood. I live to kill mosquitoes.

77. It is God's creativity that created you and your courage to live in this world.

78. Those who cheat me, remember to get out of my world consciously.

79, finally understand that when you do it right, no one will remember; When you do something wrong, even breathing is wrong.

Every time the chemistry teacher does an experiment. I said a word in my heart: Fried!

8 1, don't be invisible, I have already deleted you.

82. Sometimes I don't know how to open my mouth so as not to fascinate you, so I won't talk to you.

83. Who said that quarrels never leave, and only girlfriends can't leave? Wrong, and brothers, good brothers, leverage!

84. I see you are online, and I dare not look for you. I'm afraid my future mother-in-law is by my side.

85. When the countdown to zero is expected, the Monkey King shouts that my grandson is coming.

86. A person's longest love history is probably narcissism.

87. To love someone is to care about everything and forgive everything.

88. There is a sadness that this math problem is beyond my Chinese understanding.

89. There are no sensational vows, no sweet words, only good night as promised.